limerwrecker

[limerwrecker]

For the blues and the shakes he gets blotto

"All the booze that it takes" is his motto

The keyboard gets drunk

On tequila...ker-plunk!

The music they make is staccato. Hilary Barta

Dan Duryea hits the skids in Black Angel (Roy William Neill, 1946). Title idea by rhapsodic Donald B. Benson. © 2017 Hilary Barta

[limerwrecker]

Poor Danny did not have much luck

Chicks ran when they'd spot him, yelled "Yuck!"

If one gave him a tumble

He'd rave and then crumble

His can in noir plotting was stuck.

David Cairns

Dan Duryea and June Vincent in Black Angel (Roy William Neill, 1946). Limerick © 2017 David Cairns

[limerwrecker]

Perpetual schlub, schmoe and loser

Pathetic night-clubber and boozer

This poor Dan's a sad dope

Has no chance, has no hope

He's no threat, just a substance abuser.

 David Cairns

Dan Duryea played more than his share of down and out drunks. And no one did a flophouse alky better than he. With June Vincent in Black Angel (Roy William Neill, 1946). Limerick © 2017 David Cairns

[limerwrecker]

At the kinky old goat Fay Wray's staring

Soon a pinkish wax coat she'll be wearing

But wait! There's the cops!

And the hateful guy drops--

In the drink he will float like a herring.

Surly Hack

Lionel Atwill and Fay Wray visit The Mystery of the Wax Museum (Michael Curtiz; 1933), in glorious two-strip Technicolor. We are counting down to Halloween with pre-Code Horror over at LimerWrecks. © 2016 Hilary Barta

[limerwrecker]

You’ll find all us primates in cages

Confined there we fly into rages

It’s then we great apes

From pens make escapes

And wind up decried on front pages. Limerick © 2015 Hilary Barta; Image: The Gorilla (1939)

[limerwrecker]

In Paris, be gay if you please

But careful when playing the tease

A frightening beast

Just might be released--

This paramour hangs out in trees. Jeanette (Patricia Medina) touches "Sultan", the ape (Charles Gemora) in Phantom of the Rue Morgue (Roy Del Ruth; 1954).    Limerick © 2015 Hilary Barta

[limerwrecker]

Asian Equation To your horror show villains, a coda  From the orient, silk and pagoda You nailed Mr. Moto Who hailed from Kyoto Oh, Lorre, you'd kill it as Yoda. Peter Lorre in Mr. Moto's Last Warning (Norman Foster; 1939).  Read all our limericks at LimerWrecks.

[limerwrecker]

A Lass and a Lack

Again Moto ends up alone 

No Jennifer, Brenda, or Joan  

No adoring young sweet

With amor to entreat,

No "benefits" friend of his own.

  Love hangs up on Peter Lorre: Mr. Moto's Last Warning (1939).

[limerwrecker]

Moto's Arrest Cure

Mr. Moto should take a vacation Try a break from his chosen vocation But mystery plots Need twists, and need lots And so Moto knows no relaxation. Peter Lorre tries to unwind in Mr. Moto Takes a Vacation (Norman Foster; 1939). For more on Mr. Moto and Peter Lorre visit our blog of limericks, limoda@blogspot.com.

[limerwrecker]

Rise and Dine

Each night in his lair he arises 

He's a fright, so beware -- he surprises!

Getting up from his "bed"

He will sup as undead

One good bite, bloody-rare, satisfies-es.

Unbeknownst to weak-willed Wilbur (Lou Costello), Count Dracula (Béla Lugosi) is opening his coffin: Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). Text © 2014 Hilary Barta. Read all my limericks at limerwrecks.com

[limerwrecker]

The Mirror Drac'd

  With this dame he'll infuse a connection

But the framing could use a correction

In her neck for a sip

There's a technical slip

What a shame that one views his reflection.

  Count Dracula (Béla Lugosi) puts the bite on Dr. Mornay (Lénore Aubert) in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948).  Read all my Frankenstein film limericks and more at LimerWrecks.com Text © 2014 Hilary Barta

[limerwrecker]

Three Menaces and a Little Lady 

With a roster of monsters that's great

It's a hostel for rotters, irate

Plus one wacky li'l chick

Whose poor back has a crick

And whose posture's a lot less than straight.

Surly Hack

The hunchbacked Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams) keeps an eye on Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr), Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens), and the Monster (Glenn Strange), in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).

Catch all my Frankenstein film limericks at LimerWrecks. Text © 2013 Hilary Barta

[limerwrecker]

R.I.P. Ray Harryhausen

To temptation or terror reacting,

His creations are characters, acting

Moved not inches, but fractions

For convincing smooth actions

Animation is very exacting.

Raymond Frederick "Ray" Harryhausen (June 29, 1920 - May 7, 2013). Inspired by King Kong, Ray Harryhausen became the king of stop-motion animation, bringing vivid life and personality to the fantastic. Text © 2013 Hilary Barta

[limerwrecker]

It Came From Beneath the Screen

From the sea comes a beast, today's catch

The police on the beat are no match

Like in gum, they get stuck

And are plumb out of luck

When the thing's giant B-cups attach.

B-movie cups, that is. It Came from Beneath the Sea (Robert Gordon; 1955) features the stop-motion monster work of master animator Ray Harryhausen. Tentacles are putting the squeeze on LimerWrecks. Text © 2013 Hilary Barta 

[limerwrecker]

Stalk This Way

Mighty white, like he fell in some chalk

Quite a sight in the dell on a walk

Chaney's Monster's been stained

And soon Lon is de-brained

It ain't right that like Bela he'll talk.

Surly Hack and David Cairns

    Ygor has designs on the big guy's body: Lon Chaney Jr and Béla Lugosi in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942). Text © 2013 Hilary Barta and David Cairns

[limerwrecker]

Cavity Search Party

She's more evil than anyone guessed

Though her sins she has never confessed

Not a care or concern,

When she's bare you will learn

She has nothing to get off her chest.

Barbara Steele is exposed in Black Sunday (Mario Bava; 1960). Black Sundays happens every weekend at LimerWrecks. Text © 2013 Hilary Barta

[limerwrecker]

ZOMBIE FLESH EASTER

It's Easter, give praise, do not mourn

Your deceased savior's raised, is reborn

But these dead, now alive

Open heads to to survive

And will feast on your brains Sunday morn.

Pasty-faced extras lurch through Night of the Living Dead (1968). The title is by David Cairns, and is a nod to Zombies 2, aka Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979). Another limerick from LimerWrecks. Text © 2013 Hilary Barta