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Library study session

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May 25th, 2025

Grading papers, preparing classes, trying to have a personal life, everything at once. And then you see the sunlight peak through the canopy and you are struck with awe. I'm so grateful to be alive and to get to experience all that beauty and joy. It's so easy to forget your own privilege, so I try not to.

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I haven’t been as productive as I’d like lately, but I’ve decided not to overstress myself anymore. Last week, I nearly got sick from pushing too hard, and my productivity didn’t improve. I’m still nervous about falling behind, but I’m determined to push through and find a way to progress toward my goals.

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51/100 days of productivity!

Many smart, capable, strong people have had moments of thinking, “I’m not cut out for this.” And most of the time, they were wrong. They just needed someone to say: You’re doing better than you think.

Log: 24 May || DD_30 Challenge – Day 21

Ro notes

Shopping

Journal _mental health check

read b4 bed

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Three years ago today. I love this bit of video. Not sure why.

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Trying to get back on track.

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Honestly, I’m facing the possibility of losing my job, and it’s got me panicking every day. I’m struggling to stay focused on my dissertation while juggling new responsibilities outside of work that I’ll have until the end of May. On top of that, I’ve been completely unproductive for about five days now, and I’m not sure what’s going on or what to do. All I’m hoping for is the strength to handle losing my job if it happens and to keep pushing forward with my degree.

I was jotting these thoughts in my notebook, but I felt like sharing them here might benefit me later. It’ll be something to look back on when all of this is just a memory.

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me, in academia, watching my corporate friends go on to live in their own apartments and afford their own cars and generally grow up while i still feel like and have the daily routine of a Large Teenager

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The problem with trying to tell people "the more you hurry me, the longer this is going to take" is that an outside observer has no way to tell the difference between "I take any request to do something as a personal challenge to do the opposite out of spite, because I consider any expectation to accommodate your needs as a personal insult and beneath me uwu" and "the more pressure you put on me, the more stressed I am going to be, and the more anxious I am the more mistakes I will make, and I will have to go even slower in order to avoid them or keep trying to get it right over and over again so the only thing that makes the difference between us getting there in time or us both being late because I'm sitting on the floor crying is 100% your choice to either keep doing that or stop doing that."

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This is very interesting!! In Arabian classical literature, Quraish, a prominent tribe, was sometimes insulted by being called ‘Sakhina’. This term refers to a type of meal they consumed during difficult times, such as droughts or periods of scarcity.

You can form a casual insult towards anyone from anywhere in the world with the simple formula of:

"Your [family member] eats [local traditional food] with [controversial sauce/utensil]."

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busy bee

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When you’re feeling all anxious or like you’re not doing enough, just grab a notebook or whatever and write it all down—your thoughts, your worries, anything buzzing in your head. You’ll totally feel lighter after.

And this little Gojo is helping too! 😆

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Thankfully everything went smoothly yesterday, and my supervisor was impressed with my progress. I'm so happy with how it turned out! I just wish I hadn't procrastinated—it was pretty exhausting.

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Ugh, spent all yesterday having way too much fun, deliberately forgetting I’ve got a supervisor meeting tomorrow! 🥲 And to top it off, I’m out of my black coffee stash this morning—legit panicking!!

Wish me luck

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I love love LOVE libraries! I wish I had one nearby to walk to whenever I want to get lost in a book or just soak up that cozy library magic!

A dreamy library, so quiet in the days before the spring term starts