lithromantic - Tumblr blog

[lithromantic]

i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.

the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.

[lithromantic]

If there's any terfs following me or reblogging my stuff please know that I love + care about people of color, trans people, sex workers, and all sorts of kinksters and dykes and my posts are not for terfs 😌

[lithromantic]

Now, I’m not saying romantic relationships are inferior, or that they’re useless, or that you being in one or that you shipping some characters romantically is Bad or something off the walls like that. What I’m saying is that two people (or characters, since we’re talking shipping here) can be just as devoted to each other, love each other just as deeply, mean just as much to each other while being in a platonic relationship. The end point of caring about someone doesn’t have to be romance.

Friendship isn’t a stepping stone between strangers and romantic partners, it’s a different path. And you can follow that path as deep into the wood as a romantic one if you want, and neither is inferior to the other, they just have different views.

[lithromantic]

fellow alloaros! do you perceive kissing as romantic, sexual, and/or platonic? also, do you personally like kissing?

[lithromantic]

hey there, so in the past few months I went on the contraceptive pill (for acne reasons) but now I don't feel any romantic attraction (this is a known side effect). I know I've felt it before, however, but the idea of someone liking me back makes me uncomfortable now. Is this lithromantic, pill side effects or something else?

To be honest, this sounds like something to discuss with your doctor. I don't really know much about the effects of hormones on how one processes emotion, unfortunately.

[lithromantic]

once again aromanticism is not a tragedy

[lithromantic]

ok, so is it... not necessarily bad, but just... irrational, to know full well that i'm lithromantic but still want a relationship? it's not that i become uninterested in romance when it's reciprocated, i just become uninterested in the person. but despite that, and despite the fact that i AM proud of who I am... i still want to be in love. is that irrational?

No, that sounds rational to me.  As rational as any emotional response is, at least.  I hope some day you’re able to find a person and/or relationship dynamic that works for you to have the kind of relationship you desire.   Personally, I’ve found dating people who are on the aromantic spectrum takes a lot of the pressure off and makes a relationship MUCH more sustainable for me.  But everyone is different, and what has worked for me may not for you.  

[lithromantic]

Is it normal to feel sad and happy at the same time for having discovered lithromantica? Happy to finally know who I am, but sad because I just wanted to be normal like everyone else

I think it is within the common range of experience to have mixed feelings about something that sets you apart from what is considered “normal” by society.  

[lithromantic]

Hi, how are you?? I am Brazilian and have a question. I was reading a little about lithromantism, and I identified a little bit, but my question is this: is it possible for a lithromantic to like someone and have a lot of desire to be reciprocated, but in practice, if the other person reciprocates, the feeling goes away? Even if I have a great desire to be answered? Can I still be considered lithromantic?

Yes, this does sound like a way being lithromantic can present.  Some lithromantics feel desire for relationships, and only become repulsed or disinterested once actually in a relationship.  

[lithromantic]

Oii, como vai?? eu sou brasileira e tenho uma dúvida. Eu estava lendo um pouco sobre o lithromantismo, e eu me identifiquei um pouco, mas a minha dúvida é a seguinte: é possível um lithromantico gostar de alguém e ter muito o desejo de ser correspondido, mas na prática, se a outra pessoa corresponder, o sentimento vai embora? mesmo que tenha um desejo muito grande de ser correspondido? posso ser considerada lithromantica mesmo assim?

I’m sorry, I don’t speak or read Portugese.  Can anyone help me translate this?

[lithromantic]

I love imagining myself or my characters in relationships but am uncomfortable in actual relationships.. would I be considered lithromantic?

That sounds like it could fall under the lithromantic umbrella!  Certainly somewhere under the aromantic umbrella, at the very least.  

[lithromantic]

Okay, this seems to be and older version of the aromantic flag?  I’m getting multiple results from searching for lithromantic flags, none of which are what I remember from years ago.  But I personally like the green, yellow, and grey one best, because it is pretty.  But I wish I could find out who designed it and what the colours mean!  Does anybody else know?

Hi. So. I recently realised i was lithro. And in looking for flags. I got. Confused. What. What is up there? Help. Theres the sunset one (this blogs seeming aesthetic) and the green yellow gray one. What is happening. Im a v confused gay. Pls help.

I’m not the original runner or designer of this blog, and while I was one of the people who coined the term, neither of us chose the flag.  As I recall, there was a vote that went around about 7 or 8 years ago on another forum that resulted in the flag this blog uses.  But if there has been a new consensus as to our flag and colour scheme, I should look into that!  

[lithromantic]

Aromantic Aesthetics

➳ Garden Lithromantic

[lithromantic]

Hi. So. I recently realised i was lithro. And in looking for flags. I got. Confused. What. What is up there? Help. Theres the sunset one (this blogs seeming aesthetic) and the green yellow gray one. What is happening. Im a v confused gay. Pls help.

I’m not the original runner or designer of this blog, and while I was one of the people who coined the term, neither of us chose the flag.  As I recall, there was a vote that went around about 7 or 8 years ago on another forum that resulted in the flag this blog uses.  But if there has been a new consensus as to our flag and colour scheme, I should look into that!  

[lithromantic]

I’m new to the whole aromantic thing, but I was reading about it and something just sort of clicked but I’m not sure. I’ve never experienced romantic attraction before, I only dated one person who is a very close friend of mine but I think I confused platonic attraction with romantic. I’m really confused because I don’t want/understand romantic attraction but I still want to feel loved. I crave physical affection and validation but I hate the feelings that come with it. What does that mean?

It is absolutely possible, and I would assume common, to be lithromantic, or otherwise on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums, and still want to have close relationships, and physical affection.  These are things most humans want in some way shape or form.  The idea that is has to center around and prioritize sex and romance is a result of amatonormativity (hegemonic societal norms around romance).  You can want, and have, love and care and intimacy in your life without romance.  

[lithromantic]

Alrighty, let’s see. Okay so I’m starting to question what I am. I already know I’m bisexual, but recently I’ve been talking to people and I’ve been seeing this guy and I really liked him. We’ve kissed a few times and I like the concept of a relationship but I don’t want to actually go through with it. And also I like the concept of sex but going through with anything like that repulses me... Help

You definitely sound like you’re somewhere on the aromantic and/or aromantic spectrums, and may well be lithromantic.  Any or all of these things can coincide just fine with being bi.  My advice is to read up on different ace and aro identities and see what resonates most with your experiences, if you’re looking for labels to describe your identity.  

[lithromantic]

Hello! I'm actually wondering if I may be lithromantic and greyromantic altogether, for I experience some kind of light attraction to certain people. Once I am in  a relationship I almost imediately realise "this isn't it" and start blaming myself because I lied to myself, even tough I felt before like it would be just fine. I wonder if that's it. I thought for  time I'd be wtfromantic, but that realisation afterwards makes me this that isn't it either.