littlebearbones - Tumblr blog

[littlebearbones]

oh...this one..?

does anyone have a gif of that part in the Honda odyssey with the coexist sticker and the car is bouncing til the sun comes up I need it please

[littlebearbones]

something that im rlly not looking forward to finishing rn lol + reference

[littlebearbones]

from Chorus, eds. Saul Williams, Dufflyn Lammers & Aja Monet / 14 lines from love letters or suicide notes, david "doc" luben

[littlebearbones]

Octavio Paz, The Collected Poems, 1957-1987

[littlebearbones]

i wish for you to push aside your habits and become gentle. I am laid out with open arms to you my spatzi, im laid dreaming of the day you will accept my comfort. until then, i will wait blissfully occupying the time until you fall into my arms and take the love thats offered. my sister, my spatzi.

[littlebearbones]

a decade ago i was ten. in a decade i will be thirty.

its sickening to admit the simple fact of aging, i fear i will feel this way till i die.

the anxiety or anticipation of the years to come, if im to be granted such a gift.

nevertheless, womanhood is a life of fear mongering and aging is simply regretful. i wish i couldve aged with you. but some of us dont deserve that.

she did, when she was ten. but i am twenty. i do not deserve that. and i will not know until i am thirty going on ten if i do then.

[littlebearbones]

I may be older, the light behind my eyes flickering with its exhaustion and past trauma, handed to me like groceries to carry in to the house all at once. I'm still so young for having been stolen that title as quickly as i got it. i haven't felt young my whole life. except those special moments my mom drives me somewhere or im with you, cozy in my childhood pajamas and in your arms being kissed to sleep. it makes me tumble to my knees and just cry. If you had met me in the state i was at seven years old. if you traveled back in time just to see her. that little girl who was all alone and hurt. what she has given to be with you today. to be swaddled in your arms and shown everything is okay and that illusion of safety. oh god, what shes given just for you to traumatize her heart and body once more.

[littlebearbones]

i want to experience the rest of my halloweens with her. the rest of my rainy days. the rest of my winters and autumns and spring time kick ball matches. i want to experience ice cream at the beach in the nighttime and bonfires in the summer nights, and the burn of a fireplace in the cool winter mornings. i want to continue to look forward to coffee dates and getting sweaty as we run across town. i want to continue the rest of this life, if only with you. yes, if only with you.