littlefleurs

[littlefleurs]

“Not eating slows your metabolism”🥺🥺🥺

Bitch I’m on an eating disorder not a diet

[littlefleurs]

RE-BLOG IF….

- You FULLY support recovery and WANT people to recover.

- You think people should AVOID “@na coaches” AT ALL COSTS.

-You are against “f@t-sp0” . (becosue it’s just down right wrong.)

[littlefleurs]

anyone have advice on how to break a plateau?

please help. i’ve been in a nasty one for so long and i am desperate!

[littlefleurs]

tw

my purge cycle has been VERY bad lately. i had stopped for like a month but then i did it once. and then i did it every other week. and then i did it every other day. and now i’m back to doing it everyday, and multiple times per day. i just keep trying to convince myself that sometimes purging is necessary. even though i know that’s not true:(

[littlefleurs]

tw

i’ve dropped 43.8 pounds and lately people are starting to really notice it. people keep congratulating me and keep saying how proud they are of me because i’ve struggled w my weight for so long and i’m finally losing weight. but i don’t deserve that. i’m sure if they knew about what was going on behind closed doors they wouldn’t be proud at all or congratulating me even a little bit. i feel dirty. their pride is the last thing that i deserve.

[littlefleurs]

tw

so to shock my body i ate about 1000 calories for a couple days and then went back to 600 and i lost 6 POUNDS OVERNIGHT WHAT THE HELL im not complaining i’m just rlly shocked lol

[littlefleurs]

i gained 1.8 lbs i’m kms

[littlefleurs]

me post binge

[littlefleurs]

tw

:(i purged three times today and my throat burns so bad

[littlefleurs]

tw

hunger feels so fucking good. everytime i feel my stomach growl i feel so alive and happy, and the sensation feels amazing.

[littlefleurs]

tw

me: i’m gonna start dealing w the actions of my consequences and stop purging

my ed: bitch u thought lol

[littlefleurs]

tw

i was thinking and it’s,, really scary to be overweight with an ed. when it all started, i was clinically considered obese. while i am not anymore, i’m still very overweight. however, if i was a normal weight to begin with, i would be underweight with the amount i’ve lost. people would be concerned. people would say the amount i’ve lost with almost a sense of fear, especially in the short amount of time that i’ve lost it. people would say i need treatment.

but here i am, overweight, and no one bats an eye. it’s kind of unnerving to me, but i’m not quite sure why.

[littlefleurs]

tw

alright so i’ve binged every night for the past couple days (including tonight) but since i’m trying to break my purge cycle i’m gonna fast tomorrow. wish me luck!!!

i’m gonna just take cough drops through the day to hold me over and listen to a certain song that i like that also happens to be about eating disorders and watch that one tiktok trend so that i trigger myself into sticking to it lol

[littlefleurs]

water weight is my worst enemy

[littlefleurs]

tw

what is the likelihood of me getting into the 130s(even if just 139!!) by the second half of august??? i’m 153 now. i gotta glow up for school man:(

[littlefleurs]

tw

me: purging is so scary it’s one of the worst things you could ever do to your body i need to stop purging now or i could die

also me: let’s go baby it’s rewind time!

[littlefleurs]

tw

i keep doubting myself and my disorder. but i’ve realized i shouldn’t. i know what i do isn’t normal. and i know i’m not faking it. i know if i started this at the healthy weight for my height i would be raising so much concern right now. but since i started this obese, i question my own rights to acknowledge my ed and no one around me bats an eye(which is both good and bad, depending how you look at it). i’ve realized that weight does not define if you have a disorder and/or the severity of your disorder. just because i grew up with binge eating disorder and was obese for most of my life does not invalidate the obvious anamia hybrid i have going on now. never doubt your disorder, it’ll just make both you and it worse. you’ll feel so alone and conflicted. never think you are not sick enough.