littlelostdragon-blog - Tumblr blog

[littlelostdragon-blog]

Wow my ask responses were really redundant considering my original post for that I am sorry. It's been a while since I read it, soyeah. >>;;

[littlelostdragon-blog]

I didnt know misophonia was a thing and explains a lot about my own blind rage towards certain triggers. How did you go about being diagnosed because I'm honestly tired of being told I'm overreacting and being a bitch for "overreacting."

I don't know if it's something that is formally diagnosed. I wouldn't say it's uncommon, but it's not very known about. And there isn't really much in the way of treatment for it as far as I know... Besides symptom management like avoiding triggers and finding ways to cope with them as best you can. But stuff like that is all stuff I learned from experience or people with similar sensory problems. I've never spoken to a professional about it really, someone here suggested I might have it when I was talking about symptoms one day, and since I've just done a lot of reading.

That said, if you think you have misophonia, you probably have misophonia. I don't think there are any tests for it, but I don't think there's a lot of room for confusion about it.I've found that my best tool for getting people to stop dismissing me, is being able to explain it and what it is. As much as I wish "could you eat quieter it makes me rage" would work, it usually doesn't. Being able to put a name on it and explain that it's a neurological problem is more effective.Also, I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. :[ Hopefully people will be more understanding in the future.

[littlelostdragon-blog]

I love your post about misophonia, it made me so happy. nobody gets it or believes me when I explain and somehow they turn it around on me, so I've just kept it to myself but again great post! :)

I know it's really hard to get people to listen about it, so I'm really glad if my post helps. :)

[littlelostdragon-blog]

Hello there. I too have misophonia and it really freaks me out. Do you know of any treatment/stuff that makes it better? Because I've tried explaining it to the people around me and they don't care/understand.

I don't know of anything that makes the misophonia go away or lessen (I wish I did believe me), except maybe reducing stress, since stress seems to make it worse for me... But also 99% of the time if your life is stressful there's no way to easily fix that. Cuz if you could, you would yeah?

As symptom management goes, I use headphones a lot. I like ear-buds because they block out noise better for cheap headphones, but they have the problem of amplifying your own breathing/chewing noises so if that bothers you, you have to be careful. Ideally I'd like some over-the-ear noise-cancelling headphones but I can't afford that.Also sitting across from eating people is quieter than sitting next to them. Which IDK is probably obvious but I didn't think of that since I like to sit across from people I want to talk to.Sometimes sounds repeat in my head which is awful, and I think the best thing for that is listening to something I have to focus on the audio of. Like a video of someone talking, with music playing in the background. Or a video game with important audio cues. If I can't do any of that I play back some music in my head trying to remember as many parts as I can. (So not just the melody but also the instruments and harmonies.. as much as I remember.) I find heavily layered music is good for this cuz it takes more focus.A lot of people simply don't care, and that sucks, but there honestly isn't much you can do about it if they don't have any desire to learn. So it's important to do what you can to take care of yourself. Like, you know when you need to leave a situation. As far as I know, misophonia triggers don't lessen with exposure, even controlled exposure. So there isn't a reason to bear it more often than you have to.

Good luck.

[littlelostdragon-blog]

I'm back for a little while because I keep getting asks about misophonia I guess my post about it is going around again? (I get e-mail notifications about asks otherwise I wouldn't even know.)

I'm still like mentally fritzy and so IDK. I don't want to hurt anyone more than I have already either. So I'm not really back here. I'm not sure what I want to do with this account actually, since so many people from different parts of my life follow it. It's weird. *shrug*

[littlelostdragon-blog]

Ok so here's the deal with my last few posts take it or leave it. I'm not going to bother trying to be brief because I'm already a woefully inefficient communicator and whenever I try to be brief I lose too much.

Also I'm gonna try to make this clear before I start. If I say "I don't understand" all it means is that I don't understand. I don't mean that I dislike a thing or that I disagree or that I'm upset. Just that I don't get it.

Ok so, what happened was, at a point I reblogged something by someone who happened to be a terf, and a friend(?) of mine was like "hey that person is a terf" and I was like "ew gross sorry" and deleted it.

And around the same time there was a post going around my dash (which, like all posts on tumblr, disappeared the moment I went looking for it) which had a list of terfs on it, but also rubbed me the wrong way because after this huge long list it said that if you see any of those people and don't say anything, you're supporting them?? And IDK personally I'd much rather block terfs and ignore the shit out of them, and boost the voices of trans women. Which is what I should of said I guess.

Plus I don't check every person who contributes to every post I reblog and even if I block a whole list of terfs some are still going to get through so I just didn't understand that post.

But I was also thinking about all of the times I've unfollowed groups of people because they got into some kind of serious drama over some "you follow this person then don't follow me!" biz with each other andlike. How if I'm following someone that doesn't mean I support them. Not that I'd follow someone who is always posting transmisogynistic bullshit (ew). But sometimes I want to follow a blog that posts cute pictures of baby animals or screencaps of a thing I like, and sometimes they pull microagressive shit (most commonly mocking AAVE, actually, which hurts me on several levels.) or I have no idea what the person running the blog is like, but I don't unfollow because I like the other things they post and sometimes I reblog the things I like and IDK... 

Like we all seem to get that it's ok to like something or someone who makes mistakes or does shitty things as long as you don't defend those things, or expect other people to put up with them... But for some reason that doesn't apply to tumblr blogs??

And I don't get why I'm allowed to decide the shit I'll put up with from musicians I like or cartoons, but not from people I'm following.

But anyway, I thought I made it clear that, the post was what I was talking about, and not being told that I accidentally rebloged a terf. Because like... I mentioned that I was posting about that post... And also that I don't have a problem with being told "hey that person you reblogged is trash". And I don't have an issue with those lists in general. If I wasn't confused + had the energy, I'd've blocked every single name on that list. I've done it before with lists like that.

And I guess it didn't read that way because that person got really upset? 

And if I wrote something that can be read as supporting terfs, whether I meant it that way or not, I am really sorry because that was wrong of me. And I really do want to fix it.

I just honestly don't understand because I feel like this whole thing is based on some read-between-the-lines biz and it's confusing the hell out of me because I don't understand how reading between the lines works or how I'm supposed to avoid being harmful through things I never actually said. Maybe I'm missing something. Or misunderstanding.

I really do want to understand what I did wrong. Besides having shitty timing and being bad at language. I know I'm not owed an explanation or anything. But I AM on the spectrum and that IS going to fuck up my ability to communicate clearly. It always has and always will. If you have no desire to deal with that, then that's fine.

But I've been thinking about this for days and IDK if it's just because I'm too depressed to think straight or what but I still don't get it and I'm really sorry and I'm double sorry if I'm just fucking it up further. IDK. I'm not trying to make people feel bad for me. I just want to explain why I said what I did and why I'm so lost.

[littlelostdragon-blog]

taking a break from Tumblr for a while. My depression is really bad recently. Oh, and my life is more shitty than usual. So that's two things.

I'm surprised any of you even noticed my absence lol. Anyway please don't worry about me. 

[littlelostdragon-blog]

I'm very sorry.

I shouldn't have said any of that and I shouldn't have tried to defend it either.

Take it or leave it but there it is. Better apology later when I have reading comprehension skills again and can apologize correctly.

[littlelostdragon-blog]

copfucker93 replied to your post “Ok so like...”

bc i was expecting you to be hyper aware??????? ok

this wasn't aimed at you at all. (I woulda told you directly if it was.) I don't have a problem with people pointing stuff out to me. Like if I saw someone who I knew was terrible just reblogged and praised that'd make me hella uncomfortable. I get it.

It's just that post I saw earlier with the terf list was kinda like "if you see these people on your dash and don't do anything then you're just as bad as they are" and I was just like "??????" because I was pretty sure the point of having terf lists (or similar) was for people to know who avoid and to be able to put together block lists and stuff.

But isn't blocking known terfs the same thing as ignoring them? It just keeps them from showing up on your dash. I don't think I'm "just as bad" because I don't have the energy to deal with disgusting people?

I get not wanting to see things from shitty people on your dash, or letting people know about it. And I have no problem with ppl being like "yo, that person u posted from is a shithead"

I'm sorry though. I should have been more clear. 

edit: sorry for this. Leaving it up though because transparency.

[littlelostdragon-blog]

Video Game Logic.  More at source.

[littlelostdragon-blog]

You know what I hate?

Those "redeemably racist" characters

You know, the ones who are casually (or not so casually) racist, are never seriously checked on it (because it's like, a joke haha! or something.) and certainly never learn better, who are then shown as complete complex characters wow.

Like how often do PoC get to be shown as complete complex characters at all?

In fact we're usually shown as """"irrational"""" because we are shown to "irrationally dislike" the openly racist person who just happens to have depth of character (unlike us) and is "really not that bad". And we need to just "look past the racism".

IDK it might even annoy me more than the "evil racist" who is shown to be hateful and violent and says the n-word ohmygosh! So that the whites in the audience can pat themselves on the back because obviously they're not racist cuz they're not like that!

There's also a lot of ""redeemably sexist"" characters out there as well. Like "Haha this guy is so sexist isn't that funny? But he's really not that bad of a person look see? So it's ok that he's sexist and disgusting. And any women who don't like him for that are just 'shallow'."

[littlelostdragon-blog]

That makes sense. Also makes sense why I wouldn't've thought of that because I like scented candles and I hate candlelight. I mean it's nice to watch sometimes, but I can watch it in a jar just as easily and I hate to try to do anything by it. Too flickery.

I just made a gif edit of this amazing Rekindle Candle by Benjamin Shine and thought I’d share the non-animated version as well. 

"The Rekindle Candle is a candlestick holder which collects the melting wax to form a new candle.  As the candle burns, melting wax drips from the candle and accumulates inside the transparent stem where a length of wick is centrally located.  Once full, the new molded candle can be removed from the central section to start the process again."

[littlelostdragon-blog]

Ok so like...

There's a list of known terfs going around, and that's good cuz it's good to know who to avoid and be able to block them and stuff.

But I'm not going to check out every op and every commentor of everything on my dash. Like if someone's being transmisogynitic or something, I'll notice. But if they're not then I won't know that they're a steaming garbage pit? And I'm not sorry?

And if you tell me I've rebloged something by a shitbag, I'll handle that. And I have no desire to follow a terf, but I'd notice if someone was posting unchecked transmisogyny on my dash. 

But I honestly don't understand this tumblr culture thing that expects everyone to be hyper-aware of everyone involved in everything they reblog. It's very confusing to me.

[littlelostdragon-blog]

I wanted to take a minute to address PolicyMic's recent article on diversity in gender identity, '27 Powerful Portraits Challenging the Definition of What It Means to Be LGBT', which highlighted San Francisco-based photographer Sarah Deragon’s The Identity Project.

I will be blunt. This is racist. Definitively and absolutely. The term ‘three spirit’ is an appropriative bastardization of Native Two-Spirit identities, roles which have very specific meaning that cannot be preserved outside of that cultural context. Let me repeat this: white people cannot be Two-Spirit because this is an identity that is intimately tied with the individual’s role in a specific tribe.

The solution to this is not to create a direct and bastardized derivation. This is still racist. To attempt to assume either Two-Spirit, or this racist perversion, is is racist and culturally appropriative. Similarly, ‘third gender’ as an identifying term is available only to IaoPoC (Indigenous and/or People of Color) whose cultures have non-binary identities for reclamation. This particular term has been used oppressively by Westerners to marginalize the people of these cultures. It is for them alone to reclaim and use, if they so choose.

We have already spoken on cultural appropriation and it’s harmful effects before. This is not up for debate. As we promote further diversity and inclusion, this needs to be addressed in all communities: fetishization of Natives and their cultures, as perpetuated by white supremacy and popular American culture, cannot be allowed to continue.

Stand with us in respect and solidarity.

[littlelostdragon-blog]

Ok but I don't understand the point of this...? 

People buy candles in jars all the time. You don't need extra wick for that because the wax has nowhere to go. (They burn slower cuz of that too, because the wax has to burn away first. As opposed to the wick being exposed the moment the wax melts off)

I mean I could be wrong, but it seems like this aims to solve something that there has long been a much more efficient solution for...? This is cute but IDK it strikes me as more of a novelty item than some kind of "renovation".

[/party pooper]

I just made a gif edit of this amazing Rekindle Candle by Benjamin Shine and thought I’d share the non-animated version as well. 

"The Rekindle Candle is a candlestick holder which collects the melting wax to form a new candle.  As the candle burns, melting wax drips from the candle and accumulates inside the transparent stem where a length of wick is centrally located.  Once full, the new molded candle can be removed from the central section to start the process again."

[littlelostdragon-blog]

why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that

[littlelostdragon-blog]

When you're depressed and you get extra anxious about messing everything up

so you just mess everything up even more and even lil mistakes upset you way more than they normally would and then you just get more frustrated and upset and more prone to messing things up and it just continues...