littlelostgirl94
Full Mind Broken Heart
Welcome to the mind and chest of a 23 year old girl.
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November 25th 2022 11:29 pm
How interesting…… I’m sure it’s just exhaustion…. But you know… 😐😐😐 I’m not understanding what’s going on really…. I have had a little bit more than enough….. my intuition tells me one thing and I really try to fight it for some on godly reason….. I love so hard…. And I am left feeling the need to run away….. maybe because I have been running for so long? Or…. Maybe it’s because my soul knows…..
It’s the same person… cdw…. I just love her so much that it physically hurts….. it gets like this sometimes…. And I just repeatedly question myself why?? Why do I continue to try to love her so hard??
I don’t even know… just a lil tired emotionally and physically at the moment..
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Its not mine, & i know why your upset… but the way your treating me still indicates that we are not “fine”
I have to shut down. With everyone if i want to survive
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Here is the thing, for being so reserved i have a feeling you talk alot of trash. I feel the avoidance. Im sorry i am who i am. I dont wanna be around myself either. Your better off firing me for 1 and 2 your better off telling me “ im going to need you to fuck off” so we are all on the same page. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that you are being phony as fuck with me… because your feeling or what ever other fucking bull shit reason.
What i know is i cant no longer. I cant be nice. I cant continue on acting like my want for your love and attention with a side of denial isnt fucking killing me…. Because it is
I got it. I got you want nothing to do with me. I got it that you feel bad and thats why we are friends. I get that no matter what i say or do im just some… what ever.
Just cut the ties tell me to fuck off ao we can just be done
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What do you do when you tell someone you love and miss them and they don’t say it back? You cry…. You let it hit you right in your heart and you just cry. I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. Not sure why I’m even bothering to stay alive at this point truly….. I’m so tired
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Struggling today. Started yesterday as my significant other is still jealous of the other relations I have with people. Hard for me when i believe in loving everyone. Even if some are/ or not sexual.... I am feeling very angry inside. I am feeling the need to leave. Everything and everyone behind and just go.... live in my car some where.. not needing much of anything.
I just feel horrible and gross. I feel internally angry but calm at the same time which don’t make much since at all. I don’t hate myself.... but I definitely feel the need to not be living anymore. And no, it’s not because she is upset over me loving others.... it’s just simply that I don’t want to anymore. With no one. Not even myself. I’m aware that these thoughts and feelings probably shouldn’t be expressed... so I just...I don’t know
Yearning for this love that I am partially being given... not that I’m ungrateful.... I just 😔I don’t know really. I am just feeling sad.
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Ehhh. Feeling the urge to run away again... like I want to be alone casual friend viewings but away..
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I hate that overwhelming wave of dread that washes over me as soon as The Distraction ends and reality hits me with all my anxieties and guilt.
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Sarita Johnson, Illustration for A Piece of Time, by Jewelle Gomez, in On Our Backs 1 (Summer 1984).
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✨🕊2021 retrogrades🕊✨
✧ Mercury Retrograde: Jan 30 - Feb 21
✧ Pluto Retrograde: Apr 27 - Oct 6
✧ Saturn Retrograde: May 23 - Oct 11
✧ Mercury Retrograde: May 30 - June 23
✧ Jupiter Retrograde: June 20 - Oct 18
✧ Neptune Retrograde: Jun 25 - Dec 1
✧ Uranus Retrograde: Aug 20 - Jan 18
✧ Mercury Retrograde: Sep 27 - Oct 18
✧ Venus Retrograde: Dec 19 - Jan 29
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8/25/20 i bit myself for the first time in 2 years and 4 months :(
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