lizard-bird

[lizard-bird]

find a man who cherishes you enough to cut off the dick of the man who has scorned you in order to use it to tenderly make love to you after proposing with a peach ring so that you do not have to die a virgin and can instead live on forever with him while he regularly brings flowers to your gravesite and tends to your undead body's electrocution wounds as he reads percy bysshe shelley's poetry to you. do NOT settle for less.

[lizard-bird]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[lizard-bird]

where is "at this rate sonic will become president" when you need it

[lizard-bird]

Juri Arisugawa - Utena, la fillette révolutionnaire

[lizard-bird]

can't stop thinking about tamsyn muir's choice to present her deep, morally and politically complex science fantasy world with a central web of magic, secrets and lies reaching back ten thousand years through the eyes of three characters who:

1. tune out and start thinking about hot women whenever the magic system or worldbuilding are being explained

2. experience hallucinations on a daily basis, have brain damage and are being deceived and misled by their peers, authority figures, themselves and God

3. don't know who they are, have spent their entire life in one place and are, on all levels but physical, six months old

[lizard-bird]

Decided to finally visit my school's mental health clinic about my depression and they prescribed me a cathartic sword duel against this girl with pink hair. I asked if I'd need insurance to help pay for the sword and they said not to worry about it.

[lizard-bird]

☞ THUS

[lizard-bird]

[lizard-bird]

LIKE to kiss him, REBLOG to cuddle him, IGNORE to step on him

[lizard-bird]

Animal Crackers for Zoologists

[lizard-bird]

Meanwhile, in the world of football, the Pop Tart Bowl had an anthropomorphic Pop Tart who asked to be lowered into a giant toaster, holding a sign saying "DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE"

The toaster then spat out a human-sized Pop Tart with a face for the winning team to eat

And they devoured the edible mascot ravenously

[lizard-bird]

never forget what they took from us.

[lizard-bird]

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

[lizard-bird]

(looks at smouldering crater where someone's career used to be) oh, so that's why he's called H Bomber Guy

[lizard-bird]

i am crawling hands raw and knees bloody towards a terrible idea and every body is trying to stop me. and when i get there i am going to do it. that is my promise

[lizard-bird]

everyone's got that one homie who zealously adheres to his inflexible code of honor even though it has long since become a burden to him

[lizard-bird]

Harrow's necromantic power includes the ability to create underlighting whenever it's necessary.

Bonus: