lizzydizzyyo

[lizzydizzyyo]

one thing about me i’m the leaver. i will leave

[lizzydizzyyo]

Once when I was a kid my dad told me to “stop being a you-know-what”. And we’d done the whole song and dance enough times that I knew he meant “bitch”, so I told him: That’s cheating. You know what you mean, and I know what you mean- you’re just stepping around it so you can pretend you’re on the high ground. So if you’re going to call me a bitch, at least have the balls to actually say it.

And it’s been about fifteen years since then but I’m just now figuring out that that’s the same feeling I get hearing shit like “grape” and “unalive”.

If your audience knows what you mean, you might as well actually say it. Otherwise you’re just fucking hiding

[lizzydizzyyo]

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

[lizzydizzyyo]

we survived monday

[lizzydizzyyo]

car is bad for MANY reasons but being a private place to belt along to music is not one if them

[lizzydizzyyo]

some of you aren’t even perverts you just have normal sexual desires that you are ashamed of

[lizzydizzyyo]

Y'all ever open a book on a new subject, read a little bit, and have to put it back so you can process the way in which your mind was just expanded?

[lizzydizzyyo]

first youtube analysis i've wanted to watch voluntarily

[lizzydizzyyo]

can I come over and dodge roll into all your breakable furniture

[lizzydizzyyo]

it's so fucked up you cant start working on your life at 3 am. when it most matters

[lizzydizzyyo]

People act like voice training is unnatural or meant as a “trick” and then I get to sit in my office and listen to every single one of my cis coworkers change their pitch of their voice up or down whenever they’re on the phone

[lizzydizzyyo]

divorce themed restaurant menu

dessert: CUSTARDy Battle

yeah that's all i've got so far sorry

[lizzydizzyyo]

"A society that separates its lore masters from its horny posters will have its headcanons written by prudes and its erotic fanfic by fools."

[lizzydizzyyo]

play toys ?

[lizzydizzyyo]

The ability to turn reblogs off has really added a new dimension to shitty posts

[lizzydizzyyo]

Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.