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Spent tonight at a local short film festival. One of the shorts was made by two 12 year olds in their backyard and it was the best short of the entire night

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i will not be having an ipad baby. i will be having a Pea baby

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one time in college when i was like 19 this guy in one of my classes asked me out and he was SO nice so i cannot stress enough i did Not want to hurt his feelings. i turned him down very gently and told him i just wasn't interested, which was the truth. anyway a week later one of those evil christian demonstrators was on campus shouting at people and generally we ignored them because what they want is an audience and an argument. but on this day i was walking by on my way to ballet so i was in leggings and a sweater over my leotard and he yelled "nice cameltoe, dyke!" and i honestly was less angry at him than i was at my university for allowing him to be there. they said it was public property so he had the right to "assemble" but i didn't understand why sexually harassing students and calling them slurs was included in that "right."

anyway i was 19 and so mad and i spun on him idk probably i was going to hit him and people saw that because they got between us and gave me the classic "he's not worth it" speech and i was like okay you're right.

so he shouted something about me liking pussy and i laughed and said "actually, i do! you got one thing right!" and then i turned to walk away

and one of the guys who intervened (thankfully so i didn't get expelled for beating someone up on campus) was the guy who'd asked me out and after i calmed down and he was sure i was okay he was joking around to lighten the mood and he said "'pussy' huh? now i know why you weren't interested in me hahaha."

and my autistic ass said, without thinking, simply trying to clarify my identity at the time and that genitals aren't gendered etc. "no i am bisexual, that wasn't it."

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In The Garden, for giant robot’s Fruit and Veggie show.

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Step-by-step guide to wield a ‘Golden Cudgel’ like the Monkey King Sun Wukong by 襄阳梅子

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We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

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met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

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my love for plain white rice is intense and unhealthy AMA

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Perfect fit

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I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

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its a mystery