llilithheh - Tumblr blog

llilithheh · 11 months ago

Note

you should make a donna x reader where donna has a dream about y/n and becomes obsessed with her, thank you!!!

Yess!!!! Thank you for your request!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))

Dreams

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Angst, slightly dark themes, Donna's POV, Donna being Donna, happy ending

Word count: 7,782

Summary: Were you real?

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

“Dreaming is a third part of our life”

It was a phrase that always seemed curious to me. I had been alive for a long time, and a number of days, months, and years were insignificant to me. I was no longer a woman, a person, a human being. I couldn’t count the time passing around me. I had lost count for years.

Sometimes I remembered those more difficult, but different times, when time mattered, when days had a meaning, when dreaming was nothing but a waste of time, a silent theft from the countdown of my existence.

But that was no longer the case, my existence had no end, it was like an eternal sentence, like an unlimited time that was granted to me by the grace of the Black Gods. I couldn’t blame Mother Miranda for turning my life into a succession of days and nights, into a constant reminder of better times. What nonsense, there were never better times.

Stripped of the only thing that made me human, my mortality, the limits my life would have, I became a ghost, an erratic soul that stopped looking for its place, it already had it.

Being a Lord was just a nickname, a nickname that served just for the purposes of the same witch who turned me into what I am now, a monster. A monster they said had no feelings, a wounded, sick monster, one more doll of my creations, a puppet that dances to the tune of this horrible village.

Donna Beneviento, a feared woman, repudiated and turned into a terrorizing machine, making people feel the real fear, that was me. I couldn't say that I didn't like having that power over the people who one day laughed at me, who forced me to isolate myself from the world, who believed themselves better for not having scars.

I had gotten my revenge a long time ago, and I liked doing it. Loneliness was a common thing, another companion, like Angie, like my dolls, a dark shadow that surrounded me, that crossed my body day after day, that reminded me of who I was and how I had gotten there. However, there was something that Mother Miranda had not managed to take away from me, something that the Black Gods could not prevent: I continued dreaming.

I wonder if my siblings also dream, if they are capable of traveling to a different world, if they are happy dreams or horrible nightmares. I suppose their personality has something to do with it, that mine forces my subconscious to torture me when darkness is not just a metaphor, when I want to sleep, to make time pass more quickly, even knowing that the next day, nothing would change.

The nightmares were just another routine, the crises, the tremors… Everything imprisoned me even more in myself.

Why, Mother Miranda? Why save a sick woman like me? No matter how many times I asked myself, I was never able to get an answer.

If I look back, I even dare to miss those horrible dreams, those memories that torment my disturbed mind; screams, terrors, helplessness, all of that was replaced in a moment by something else, something that made me want to keep dreaming, and at the same time stop doing it.

“If you could choose, what would you do? Where would you like to go?” you asked, playing with my hand, looking into my eyes, looking at my face that was not deformed, at what I never was, nor will I be.

“I don't know,” I answered with a smile, letting myself be carried away by those soft caresses, by the sensation of your skin on mine, by the subtle touch of our naked bodies like every night. “Anywhere, as long as it were with you.”

Your laughter lit up my face, your soft voice, your sighs made my heart want to jump out of my chest, it wanted to feel, just like me, the warmth and softness of your body.

“Are you always that romantic?” you asked, snuggling into my chest, sighing again, making me feel like the luckiest woman in the world, in this dark world.

“Only with you,” I said, leaning down to kiss you, to caress your lips with mine. I don't know why I kept trying…

“Hey, hey, Donna, wake up, wake up!” you said in a gruff tone, shaking me by the shoulders. It was another ending.

“Hey, hey, move your lazy ass and wake up!” an irritating voice pulled me out of that scene, out of that feeling of having you near me. Of course, Angie always took care of ending my dreams, forcing me to return to my horrible reality.

“Angie…” I murmured in a sleepy, angry voice, annoyed by the light that illuminated my room, with my faithful doll, my only friend, jumping on my body in a comical, but annoying way.

I pushed her away with a slap as I sat up, glancing sideways at the other side of the bed, where an empty, cold space reminded me that I had dreamed again, dreamed of you.

Sighing, I rubbed my only eye, wishing to return to that alternative world, one in which you were with me, in which I was not completely alone.

“Wake up, wake up!” the doll shrieked, with a mocking laugh, which disappeared with my furious look, with my furious growl at her attitude.

“Oh, Angie…” I sighed, uncovering myself and approaching the dressing table, where the reflection of that cruel mirror revealed my deformed face, revealed my true nature, my true appearance, the appearance of a monster.

I combed my hair slowly, avoiding looking at myself in the reflection more than necessary, remembering that pleasant dream before my mind forgot it. Well, forgot part of it. There was something I couldn't forget, that my head still kept intact: You.

“Buongiorno…” the doll sang, irritating me even more.

“Angie, I dreamed about her again,” I whispered, closing my eye, hoping that, when I opened it, I could return to your arms. I couldn't, I never could. It would never be real.

“Oh, the mysterious girl,” the puppet commented, with a mocking but understanding voice. “Was it a nice dream?”

“Yes, it was,” I whispered, leaving the comb on that horrible dressing table, getting up to start another day, another day of terrible and anguishing loneliness.

It hadn't been long since I started dreaming about you, since your figure appeared in the middle of the fog, dissipating it, making way for you with the light of your beauty.

I didn't know who you were, what you were, I didn't know if you existed, but I wanted you to. There were many possibilities. It could be that my head had created you just to relieve me, so my madness wouldn't get worse, at least during those hours of sleep.

A warm smile, silky and shiny hair, the perfection that I could never have. At first I thought that maybe it was a coincidence, that the nightmares had managed to give a break to my tormented soul, but it wasn't like that; you kept appearing in my dreams, you kept talking to me, telling me that I was beautiful, caressing me...

If you didn't exist, why did I feel you? If you were just a creation, why did you always look the same? Why did my heart beat the same way when I saw you? I never knew how to answer, I never wanted to answer. If you could live in my dreams, at least you would live. If you didn't exist, at least you would do it in my mind.

But the passage of time worsened that desire, that desire to dream, that desire to be more and more disconnected from reality, where you didn't exist, to live in an unreal world where you did. The first few times I took it as a relief, like a balm, a warm bath in the coldness of my dark life.

Little by little, it became an obsession, and I knew it, but... How could I become obsessed with someone who didn't exist? Did you really exist, or were you just like another one of my dolls?

“Have you tried asking her name?” Angie asked, after I got dressed, preparing to live another day without you, a vigil that was torture, just because you weren't there.

“No,” I said dryly, reading a book while eating breakfast, desperately searching for an explanation for your presence.

“I think that's important, don't you?” the doll said, looking at me over that old essay on dreams.

“Get off the table, you know I hate when you get on while I'm eating,” I ordered the puppet, who grumbled, changing the table for my lap. “Angie…”

“Let's see, let's see…” she murmured, turning the pages in an unpleasant way. “Look, Donna, it says here that it can be a recurring dream.”

“Of course it's recurring,” I said, laughing nervously, impatiently, frustrated for not getting answers to all the questions in my mind. “I don't dream about anything else.”

“Okay… Look, it says that it can also be due to sexual dissatisfaction,” the doll joked, making my cheeks turn red-

“Don't talk nonsense,” I whispered, turning that horrible page.

“Nonsense? Tell me, Donna, tell me, tell me… What do you think about when you kick me out of your room at night?” the doll mocked, which made me push her angrily off my knees, terribly embarrassed.

“What do you care? That's private,” I said furiously, pretending to read, pretending not to have your image in my mind.

“Bah,” the doll sighed, with an amused gesture. “You think about her, huh?”

I stopped reading, closing my eye and the book at the same time.

“I can't stop thinking about her,” I admitted, passing a hand over my forehead, holding my coffee cup with a trembling hand. “I think… I think I'm going crazy.”

“Well, that’s not new,” the doll mocked, with an unpleasant tone, with that independence that I gave her and that I sometimes regretted.

“You don't understand... I... I...” I said, gritting my teeth, hitting the table with my fist. “I can't be like this... I... I don't even, I don't even know if... If she's real.”

“In your dreams she is,” Angie said, with a more serious tone.

“That doesn't mean anything,” I murmured, trying to relax, trying not to let my demons force me to break everything, to hurt myself again. “Maybe, maybe I can, I can ask someone for advice.”

“Who?” she asked curiously, with a tone that I didn't like at all.

“I, I don't know... Alcina, maybe,” I said, shaking my head, crossing my arms, scratching the fabric of my dress with my nails.

“Do you know what Alcina is going to tell you?” Angie said, with an ironic tone.

“She'll offer me a poor girl to play with,” I sighed, head down, knowing that Angie was right, that no one could help me.

“Maybe that will help you,” the doll commented, giving me a shiver. No, I could never do that.

“I've already told you…” I hissed, denying to myself that it was one of the reasons for your presence, that I needed a body to have fun with, that then, you would go away, you would leave me alone again “… That it's not about sex. Cazzo, Angie, I haven't even been able to kiss her…”

“But you can talk to her, right?” the puppet asked. I nodded.

“More or less,” I said thoughtfully, letting myself be carried away by my obsessions again, thinking about you, always about you, always about your look, about your smile, about one that I couldn't, didn't want to know if it was real.

“Then ask her name,” she said finally, just as she had advised me at the beginning.

It seemed like absurd advice, stupid, but little by little I began to consider it.

In one of those books something that made my hopes suffer appeared, something that perhaps explained my obsession, the games my subconscious played while I slept. Apparently, a person could dream about someone they had seen once in their life, or had just passed by. The brain, the human mind is incredible. It was designed to torture me with an unknown girl.

Thinking that maybe you were that, a ghost from the past, a random village girl I saw once and whose image stayed inside of me forever was not good news. I wanted to think, to believe, to know that you were real, that somewhere there was someone… Someone who could love me.

There was only one way to get out of doubt, to know if I already knew you: by listening to Angie, by knowing your name.

“It's a beautiful day…” you said, walking hand in hand with me, with that smile so real and so ephemeral, so… You.

“With you every day is wonderful,” I said blushing, enjoying your caresses, your hand in mine, the feeling that could disappear at any moment. “W, wait…”

“Mm?” you murmured, leaning on me, without losing that smile.

“I want, I want to know your name,” I said unsure, not knowing what was going to happen, if I was going to wake up, if I would lose you again.

“(Y/N)” you whispered with an almost imperceptible voice.

(Y/N)…

“(Y/N)? No, it doesn't ring a bell,” Angie said when I told her your name, when I was finally able to name your presence, when you were more than just a beautiful girl, when you seemed more real…

I frowned as I worked on my dolls, an increasingly insignificant hobby, one that I thought would make me forget you for at least a moment. I couldn't do it, once I knew your name my mind only repeated it over and over again, only projected your smile, I could only see your eyes in those porcelain dolls.

“Doesn’t it?” I asked, delicately painting a head, a head with your eyes, (Y/N). “It's not a very common name.”

“Did you know it?” Angie asked, taking me out of my thoughts and ramblings again, making me concentrate unintentionally, not wanting to know if you were just part of my past, if you were someone who really existed but were unreachable for me.

“No, I don't think I've ever heard it before,” I said with a nervous voice, with the trembling of my hands ruining your porcelain face, once again.

“Curious,” the doll said, holding my hand so I would stop ruining her companion, something she hated. “How can you dream about someone you don't know? I mean, you can't know her name if you've never even heard it before...”

She was right, and her question had a possible and horrible answer.

“I think it's pretty obvious,” I whispered, leaving that head in a safe place so my messy strokes wouldn't deform her face, your eyes, your smile... “That's because (Y/N)... doesn't exist!” I said furiously, feeling how the darkness loomed over me, how it forced me to kick the floor when hitting the table, losing control.

“Hey, hey, Donna, no, no!” Angie interrupted, trying to stop my outburst of anger, trying to uncurl my fingers clenched in a glass jar before the rage of knowing that I could never have you shattered it into a thousand pieces. “Don’t do that! Silly Donna!”

“Non ne posso più!” I yelled furiously, losing control, losing my mind, not bearing the true reality of my discoveries, knowing that your name, that you, were just an invention of my mind, that I could never have you, never. “I can’t take it anymore…”

“Donna, Donna, basta, basta!” Angie said, trying to calm me down, fighting my attempts to scratch my ugly face, to pull my hair, to hurt myself for being so stupid, to want to stop existing in a world without you.

Surrendered, unable to even hurt myself, I buried my head in my arms, crying inconsolably, crying for having lost something I never had, and will never have.

“Angie, I… I… L’amo…” I confessed, I confessed a shameful truth, a truth that shouldn't exist, a truth that couldn't be, that didn't make sense, that my mind forced my heart to feel. I couldn't love you, I couldn't, but I did.

“What?” the doll said in an exaggerated tone, patting my back to try to comfort me, stopping as soon as she heard that terrible and delirious declaration. “You can't, you can't love her, Donna.”

“I do… I… I’m, I’m in love with her…” I said again, sobbing, noticing the absence of Angie, who had retreated with a furious sigh.

“No, no, no, you can't, Donna,” she said with an unsure tone, knowing that what she was going to say would hurt me. She was not wrong. “Come on, come on, you can't love someone who…”

“Say it,” I said raising my head slowly, stopping crying, changing the sadness, the crying for pure anger, for rage, for the pain that such a horrible truth produced, for the dagger that common sense slowly sank into my chest.

“Um, Donna, I…” the doll said with a different attitude, surely due to my cold, dark and dangerous gaze.

“Say it!” I shouted, getting up from the chair, making Angie run away from me, making my madness terrify her again. “Say that I can't love her because she doesn't exist! Say that (Y/N) is nothing but a name I read in some book and she's not real! Say that I'm so disturbed and lonely that even a dream can make me fall in love! Say that I can't love a dream!”

Angie fled under a table, looking at me terrified, unable to say that truth, which I knew and didn't want to see, which tortured my mind, the love I felt for you, the love I felt for something unreal, for a dream.

“Porca puttana!” I screamed, kicking the chair, clenching my fists tightly, hurting myself, injuring my body as well as my mind.

Angie was right, I was disturbed and nothing could cure me, nothing but you, nothing but that non-existent presence I could only enjoy while sleeping.

“Of course… Of course… That's it, right?” I rambled, passing a hand over my forehead, my body shaking, my hands moving erratically. I had lost control and you could never help me. “Donna is a stupid crazy woman, a disturbed woman who will never have someone who loves her, who is so lonely that she can only love in dreams, she can only be loved by women who don’t exist, because, because she is a monster, right?”

“Do, Donna, calm down,” Angie said, hiding behind a table, shaking from my anger, from my nerves, from me. “Nobody, nobody said that…”

“But they think so,” I said, mad, pointing at the doll with my finger, starting to walk aimlessly through the old workshop. “Yes, it's surely their fault. They're the ones to blame! They’re always so elegant, right? With a perfect face, with maids who would do anything for them, with charisma, with… With possibilities of being loved… Donna can't be loved, she can only dream, right? Well, fuck you all! Fanculo a tutti!”

“Come on, come on, calm down,” Angie said, coming out of her hiding place with her hands out in front of her, fearing my reaction, that my madness would hurt her. I couldn't blame her.

“Lasciami!” I protested when her wooden arm reached my leg, shaking her to get her to move away.

“Donna…” Angie said in a sad voice, getting up from the floor because of my push. At that moment I collapsed again.

“Angie…” I whispered, sorry for my attitude, for taking out my frustrations on the doll, on my only friend, a real one. “Gods, I'm, I'm so sorry…” I said, helping her up. She shook her head, understanding as always, too understanding.

“You should calm down, Donna, nobody hates you, I'm sick of telling you that,” the doll said, with a cocky pose. I shook my head, sitting on the floor, leaning my back against a wall.

“I can't stand it,” I murmured, crying again, calming my heart, my breathing, my madness. “I can't stand the idea that (Y/N) doesn't exist… “

“She exists in your dreams,” Angie said, in a more casual tone, sitting next to me, as always. I don't know what I would have done without her.

“I can't live on dreams... I, I can't... But I can't forget her either, she appears every night, every time I fall asleep she's by my side, she hugs me and... She, she loves me and... I... It doesn't matter if it's crazy or if I can't do it, I know what I feel and, I, I love her...”

Angie sighed comically, resting her hands on my knee, letting the silence flood the workshop, the thoughts echo in my head, recognizing my irrational obsession, my stupid love, my heart's inability to stop getting upset just by thinking about you.

“Phone!” Angie shouted, when the screeching sound interrupted my silent crying, my lament.

I nodded, returning to the reality of my sadness, to my duties, to my only purpose in life: to serve the Black Gods, and Mother Miranda.

“Donna, is everything okay?” a soft voice on the other end of the phone asked, my sister, Alcina.

“Y-Yes…” I lied, stifling my sobs, not wanting pity, compassion. No, it wasn't for pity, a crazy woman did crazy things, felt crazy things, it couldn't be understood, it couldn't be helped. I could never change.

“I've been calling you for a while, dear…” Lady Dimitrescu murmured.

Yes, probably the thoughts of you had silenced my hearing, my senses. I could only feel, see, hear you, (Y/N), even if it was only in dreams, in memories…

“I'm sorry, I was… Busy…” I apologized, with Angie tugging at my dress, offering herself as an interlocutor. No, it wasn't necessary. My sadness overshadowed even my fear of communicating with others.

“Mm,” my sister murmured with disinterest, snorting. “Mother Miranda has summoned us for the monthly sermon to the Black Gods. I know it's a hassle for you, but I'm afraid that...”

I sighed. No, being surrounded by the villagers and the rest of my siblings was definitely not what I wanted at the moment.

“I know,” I whispered with a broken voice.

“If you're not feeling well, I can tell Miranda that...” she said, feeling sorry for me, like everyone else.

Poor Donna, she's so crazy...

“No, I... I'll go,” I said abruptly. “I need some fresh air.”

After that, I hung up the phone, telling Angie to bring my black veil, my curtain, my wall that blocked me from the world, that prevented me from being seen, that allowed me to hide that... I was a monster.

The church was too crowded. The whole village was there, everyone was looking at me, judging me. I could hear their criticisms, their thoughts. It was a simple paranoia, but a torture nonetheless, one almost as horrible as the idea of not being able to have you.

“Is everything okay?” Mother Miranda, my creator, my savior and my executioner asked. She was the woman who put an eternal sentence on my existence, an eternity without having you…

“Yes,” I answered dryly, with a voice so low that I doubt the rest of my siblings heard it. Besides, as always, they fought among themselves.

“You don't look well, Donna,” the witch repeated to, putting her golden claws on my shoulders. I moved so she moved away. I didn't want pity, I only wanted you.

“I'm fine,” I said abruptly, clenching my fists tightly, causing the priestess to frown and Angie to squeeze one of my hands, reassuring me.

If Miranda got angry and finished me off, I wouldn't be able to dream of you again. That was a punishment worse than death, than the condemnation of immortality.

“Mm,” the priestess murmured, distrustful, sighing, possibly tired of putting up with a fool like me, disgusted by having such a stupid daughter, a daughter who had fallen in love with a ghost, with a dream…

Then there was silence.

“Children of the Black Gods,” Miranda began, spreading her wings elegantly, moving away from me, standing in front. “I welcome you.”

“In life, and in death, we give glory…” the faithful crowd repeated, like an obedient and sinister flock. I sighed tiredly, wishing that this torture would end, that I could dream of you again.

My ears didn’t hear her words, her untouchable mantras, her prayers and proclamations of salvation and glory. Nonsense, no one could be saved, I could never be saved. My eye wandered absentmindedly through the crowd, watching those perfect faces, imagining them disappearing, those pews empty.

My heart stopped when I looked at the back of the chapel, when I saw a figure that my mind recognized before my gaze did. A young girl leaning disinterestedly against a wall, arms crossed, bright eyes, silky hair, you.

It couldn't be possible, I even blinked several times, shifted in my chair, closed my eye, opened it again. No, I wasn't imagining it, my obsession hadn't overcome my madness. It was you, (Y/N).

The same clothes, the same face, a different expression but with the same affectionate touch, with a tender but tired look, those same hands, those playful fingers tapping your arm impatiently. I wasn't crazy, you were there. You existed. It wasn't a dream.

But the little rationality I had left screamed to be heard, to make me understand that, even if you were real, it wasn't you. Yes, it could be a coincidence, it could be someone who looked a lot like you, too much. I got nervous, I wanted to believe it was you, I needed to believe it.

The sermon ended before I could make sure of the reality of what I saw, before I could know who you were, if you were the girl of my dreams, the girl I had fallen in love with. It seemed crazy, it surely was.

Without saying goodbye to my siblings, I walked away from the altar, pretending to want to leave, to want to go home. Of course my steps weren't as hurried as other times. My walk was slow, opening a corridor of people who lowered their heads when they saw me. They feared me and... I liked that, deep down I liked it.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” a voice caught my attention, a voice addressing that mysterious girl, you, a voice that called you by your name.

(Y/N), that was your name, it was you, there was no doubt.

“We are going to go to Luiza's house to have tea, it's Irina's birthday and we have bought a lot of food, are you in?” that annoying villager asked, talking to you, talking to the owner of my dreams and my broken and disturbed heart.

I stopped without wanting to. I turned my head towards your perfect figure. You smiled, so did I. Your smile was the same, it was you, there was no doubt. I had found you.

“Of course,” you answered with a kind tone. Your voice, (Y/N) the voice that sounded in my dreams filled my ears, calmed my heartbeat, made me sigh. You were real. “But first I have to do some chores at home, I will meet you later.”

“Oh, perfect, perfect,” the boy said, turning slowly, paling when he saw my dark figure looking at him. I wasn't looking at you, stupid. “Oh, Lady Beneviento…” he said, bowing in respect.

Then it happened, your eyes looked at me, your expression relaxed, changed to one different from my dreams, to a worried, thoughtful and nervous one.

I ignored him, I could only look at you, you could only look at me. It was a strange moment, perhaps too strange. I dreamed of you, but you… You couldn't know.

Scared by my own behavior, I turned around, looking at you one last time before leaving the chapel. I could feel it, I could feel your eyes fixed on the back of my neck, that shiver you always gave me when you came close in my dreams.

“Angie…” I whispered, walking slowly, discreetly separating myself from the crowd. The doll, which rested peacefully in my arms, nodded.

“Yes, yes, it's her, it's her,” she said with a slightly lower voice, jumping comically in my arms.

“Yes…” I sighed, not being able to help but smile, to feel happy. I had found you. “Wait, this isn't a dream, right?” I asked, scared, thinking that I would wake up again with the emptiness of your absence at my side. “Ow!” I screamed when the doll hit me hard in the stomach. “Angie!”

“It was just for you to check that it wasn't a dream,” the doll joked, getting off of me and peeking through a nearby bush. “Look, look, Donna, she's there!” she said excitedly, pointing at you.

I approached nervously, watching you from afar, seeing how you chatted with what seemed to be your friends, how you gave them that beautiful smile. I felt jealousy invading me, absorbing the joy of having found you.

“Donna, Donna,” Angie called me again, waking me from those horrible images of me not being your company under the sheets. “What are you going to do?”

It was a good question, the best one, in fact. Now that I had found you, that I knew you were real… What should I do? You were you, but you weren't the same as in my dreams, you didn't recognize me, you didn't know you were part of my life.

But you had to be. I had been dreaming of you for so long, of having you by my side. What you thought didn't matter. All I could see was you, all I could think was that fate made you mine even if you were incapable of knowing it.

I couldn't let you go, let you get away from me, let me stay dreaming of you again, conforming to your distant image in a mass, with your smile that wasn't directed at me. No, my rage increased, darkness loomed over my skin, over my hidden gaze. You had been in my mind for a long time, I couldn't, I didn't want you to disappear again.

“Come,” I whispered to the doll, with a sinister voice, camouflaging myself among the bushes, following your steps, waiting for the moment, the moment when you were alone, defenseless. I don't regret thinking like that, you had to be mine, you already were.

“Are you going to be bad, Donna?” Angie asked, making me rethink my intentions. She didn't succeed, the darkness dominated me. Your body was the only thing I was looking at.

“I need her,” I whispered as I walked slowly, chasing you without you knowing. You, who seemed as intelligent as in my dreams, turned around several times.

Could you do it, (Y/N)? Could you feel me stalking you? Could you feel my gaze following you? Sure you could.

You turned around, frowning, blinking in confusion. You didn't see anything, I wasn't behind you, but you could certainly feel me. As expected, given my subtle harassment, you walked faster, towards the part of the village where you seemed to live, a lonely path, perfect for me, unfortunate for you.

“Who's there?” you asked nervously, scared by my presence, by one that you could only sense. Nothing, I didn't answer, I didn't reveal myself. I simply went a little closer, just a little closer. “Shit, shit...” you whispered, running, scared by something you couldn't see.

I followed you, I ran after you, without worrying that you could see me. I didn't care anymore, you were mine.

“Shit!” you shouted again, turning around, watching how I chased you slowly, without running, knowing who I was, but not what I wanted. I wanted you.

You screamed again, as Angie ran after you, making you trip loudly in the snow. You turned on the ground, dragging away from my slow walk. I didn't want to scare you, but I wanted you, I needed you. I couldn't lose you now that I knew you were real, and not just another dream.

“Hey, hey... I... Let me go... Don’t, don't come closer...” you moaned in pain from the fall, looking at me with eyes of terror, with the fear that I was supposed to generate in the villagers.

You had the sight of a monster slowly approaching, crouching beside you, placing a hand on your forehead and closing my eye so I could concentrate.

“No, no, please…” you whispered, losing the strength of your voice, rolling your eyes as my powers acted on you, making you faint, making you collapse in my arms.

“KO, good job, Donna,” Angie said, while I held your unconscious body, taking some time to caress your hair, to check, once again, that your beauty was real. “Now what?”

“I'll take her home,” I whispered with a cold look, picking you up in my arms, lifting you off the ground, keeping you very close to my body.

“Home, home!” the doll sang, surrounding us, surrounding my dark figure, my figure carrying yours, hugging your body, holding you against me.

You were so beautiful… Even asleep, unconscious on a sofa, I could feel your warmth, your beauty, the one that lived only in my dreams. I, sitting next to you, played with your hair, caressed your forehead. I cried, laughed with joy. I had found you, and now you were mine, you had to be.

My caresses seemed to move you. You groaned confused, frowning, waking up little by little. I wonder what you were dreaming about.

You opened your eyes slowly, focusing on me, knowing who was next to you, moving back weakly, almost agonizingly, causing my hand to stop touching your perfect skin.

“No… No… What…?” you murmured, pressing your temples with your hands, confused, scared, trembling. I only laughed, I could only laugh, cry with love.

“Ciao, bellissima…” I said in a whisper, with a smile that you couldn't see, helping you to sit down.

Hearing my voice confused you and you shook your head, looking at me, as if something I had said had surprised you. It shouldn't have, I was used to adoring you in my dreams.

“That voice…” you whispered, almost without a voice, with that same expression, one that changed instantly, surely when you remembered what had happened. “Oh, my, my…” you said scared, pushing my hand away, trying to get up from the sofa, something that I prevented with a hand on your shoulder, forcing you, perhaps a bit roughly, to sit down again.

“Sit down,” I whispered in a tender voice. Your eyes were still terrified. I didn't see love, only fear in your gaze. It was too late to back down, to consider the terrible possibility that my love for you was not reciprocated.

“Lady Beneviento,” you sighed, shaking your head, blinking several times to situate yourself, to know where you were. Deep down, you knew. “What…?”

“I have finally found you…” I sighed, caressing your face, unable to reason, to do something to calm you down. No, I couldn't, I only wanted you. I wanted everything from you. You pulled away in an unpleasant way, which produced a knot in my stomach. Your gaze didn’t leave its fear.

“What? I, I don't... What am I doing here?” you asked, trembling from my innocent caresses. I sighed. I wasn't going to let you go, no matter what you said.

“You're with me, (Y/N), you have nothing to fear,” I said softly. You blinked again, shaking your head.

“What? Why do you know my name?” you asked, shifting nervously on the couch.

“I know more than your name, tesoro...” I said with a tender, but terribly dark voice.

“Oh, shit...” you sighed, closing your eyes. “This, this is because of what my friends said about you, right? I, I promise you I didn't say anything. Besides, I've never sneaked onto your property on a dare or something like that and... Shit...” you stammered, more and more nervous.

I started to think that you really didn't know who I was. You didn't know you lived in my dreams.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” I said in a serious tone, slowly losing my patience. I wanted to hear your sweet voice, not swear words, you never said them. You weren't like that.

“I don't know what I'm doing here either, I mean... Why?” you asked, gripping the fabric of the sofa tightly, shaking with fear. I didn't want you to shake.

“You know why,” I said simply, sighing at your passivity.

“No, I don't know, have I done something that could offend you? If, if so I apologize but please...Don’t, don't kill me...” you said, putting your hands together, lowering your head and squeezing your eyes tightly.

“I'm not going to kill you,” I said in a dark tone, nervous, more nervous than I would like. “I've spent so much time thinking about you...”

“About me?” you asked again, pointing at yourself, unable to stop me from caressing your cheek, from feeling the softness of your skin again. “I… I…”

“You are even more beautiful than in my dreams… I can’t believe you are with me,” I said in a delirious sigh, one that scared you even more.

“Dreams? No, I… Please, let me go, please,” you said, stabbing a dagger deep into my heart. You didn’t say that in dreams. I had found you, you were mine… You weren’t going anywhere.

“You can’t go, (Y/N), not when I’ve spent so much time dreaming of having you,” I murmured. Your expression stopped being terrified, your eyes darkened. I could only see disgust in your gaze, disgust towards me.

“No, no…” you said, getting up slowly, scared but confident. “You, you're wrong...I, I don't know what's on your mind but...I , I have nothing to do with it, I'm just, I'm just a villager, I've never hurt anyone, I've never messed with you... Let me go home, please, I’m begging you.”

“Cazzo…” I hissed, moving away, frustrated, disappointed with the long-awaited meeting. “Stop denying the obvious! You are the girl of my dreams! You are going to stay here, with me!”

“You are, you are sick in the head…” you whispered with a pitiful voice, walking slowly, taking advantage of my loss of control. “I have nothing to do with you!”

“Do you think that by insulting me I would be able to stop loving you? I could never do it,” I said, frantic, unable to believe my own reality, that the dreams were casual, a projection of my desires, not yours. You didn't love me.

“Love me? No, no, this is not happening…” you murmured, moving nervously, looking around. “Help me!”

“Don't yell!” I screamed furiously, preventing your escape with a strong tug on your arm, one that made you hiss in pain. Still, you didn't give up, no matter how hard you tried, you wanted to get out, you wanted to leave me, to get away from me. You couldn't do it.

“Let me go, you crazy bitch!” you screamed, trying to offend me. Nothing you said could hurt me. Only losing you could.

“Shut up! Don’t, don't say those things to me...” I protested, pulling you tighter. “Don't insult me, amore mio...”

You growled furiously, pushing me, making me let you go, so you could run away.

“Get her, Donna, she's getting away!” Angie shrieked, pointing at you when you had already reached the hall.

Suddenly, you stopped, staring at my portrait, which hung on the stairs. You were confused and nervous, your gaze fixed on mine, one that you could see.

I ignored your sudden stop. I just threw myself furiously at you, knocking you to the floor, with my legs on either side of your hips, fighting with your hands, which were struggling to defend themselves.

“Stop! Stop... Resisting!” I screamed, straining with my hands. “Why don't you love me?!”

“Leave me alone! Let me go!” you screamed.

“Fight, fight, fight!” Angie encouraged, among grunts and sounds of effort. You were strong, my love, but I was much stronger.

Without thinking about the damage you were doing to me, you moved your head forward, giving me a painful blow to the forehead, knocking me to the floor. Still, the pain of your blow, of your betrayal, was not enough to stop me.

I roared furiously, reaching out my hand to pull on your ankle, knocking you again as you kicked to get rid of me.

I dragged you across the floor, using all my strength to reason with you, to make you understand why you couldn't leave.

“You can't leave, you can't leave me alone... you can't!” I screamed, pulling you. You took advantage of my weakness again to pounce on me. Running away was no longer an option for you, you wanted to fight. I was falling more and more in love with you.

Your hands fought against mine, moving with me on the floor, with my back pinned to the wood. You were winning, and that only meant I would lose you.

“Damn it...” you hissed when you saw you couldn't do anything against me, that, even immobilized, I was much stronger than you. I always would be, you were my only weakness. “Fuck!”

With that last scream, you managed to free yourself from my grip, moving your hand furiously, managing to grab the black fabric of my veil, tearing it from my face, leaving me exposed. You shouldn't have seen me like that.

Far from continuing to be furious, from continuing to move, you stopped, open-mouthed, catching your breath, losing yourself in my face wet with tears in my eye that shone with rage and desperation.

You ran a hand over your forehead, shook your head and let me go, with a confused and strange look.

“No, it just can't be...” you murmured, also with tears in your eyes, covering your surprised mouth with your hands. “It's, it's you...”

I didn't answer. I limited myself to hating you for a moment, hating myself for living in dreams. I didn't even pay attention to your confused look.

“Gods…” you said in a calmer tone, getting off my body, dropping to the floor, not being able to stop looking at me. A strange smile formed on your face.

I sat on the wood, confused, sad, sobbing, wishing you wouldn't try to leave again. It seemed that, for some strange reason, you didn't want to.

“Oh, it's you…” you sighed again, crawling towards my position, putting an unexpected hand on my cheek, looking at me, then at the portrait. “I can't believe it…”

“It's you, it's you. What are you talking about, stupid?” Angie interrupted, helping me deal with that horribly confusing situation.

“Gods, I… I've been, I've been dreaming about you for months… I… Oh my Gods…” you said as if you had gone from hatred to euphoria. My crying stopped, and my gaze darkened once the voices in my head let me hear you.

“You…?” I asked in a weak, distrustful voice. It could be a trick. “Have you dreamed about me?”

“Yes, I…” you said with a smile, getting a little closer, with a happy glow in your eyes. “Well, I, I didn't know it was you, you know because…” you said, changing your mood completely, gesturing towards your face. “Because, because of that veil and… Well, because, because, you didn't have much clothing on so…”

“What? Are you kidding me?” I said nervously, incredulously, taking your hand away from my face. You cringed again.

“I, I… I don't know why but… I'm telling you the truth. There isn't a night in where I don't see you with me… In fact, when I've heard you talk I… I can't believe it, it's you…” you sighed with a sincere, surprising smile.

“I dream about you too,” I whispered more calmly, looking at the floor, not letting you see me, not letting those dreams you had be tarnished by my ugliness. “Every night. I, I didn't even know you were real and when I saw you, I…”

“You froze,” you finished my sentence, just like you did in my dreams. “I, I understand you, I… Me too.”

“I, I didn't want to hurt you, (Y/N)…” I sobbed again, regretting my attitude. “I just wanted, I wanted… For my dreams to, to come true…”

“I wanted mine,” you sighed, sitting next to me staring into space, like me. “What a coincidence, huh? I didn't even know what you looked like.”

“I'm sure you find me disgusting,” I murmured, pointing at the portrait. “You were expecting something like that, weren't you?”

“The truth is, no…” you said in a low, confused tone. You were nervous too, I could see you trembling. “I saw you just like right now.”

I laughed nervously, scratching the back of my neck, not knowing what to do with that information, with that cruel coincidence. I never believed in destiny, but it was never too late to start doing it.

“It's incredible... It was you,” you repeated, making me more nervous.

“Will you stop saying that?” I said nervously, confused and upset. “How the hell was I supposed to know that...? Cazzo...”

“How was I supposed to know that you existed? I thought I was going crazy,” you said amused, looking a little more like the (Y/N) of my dreams.

“Me too,” I whispered, looking into those beautiful, bright eyes, looking at the reality of your beauty.

“Donna, um… Can I call you Donna?” you asked, touching my hand, grabbing it, interlacing our fingers like in my dreams, like in yours. I nodded. “There's something I've never been able to do in my dreams...”

I looked at you as you approached, fearlessly overstepping my personal space, grabbing my face, looking at me before closing your eyes. Then you did it, you kissed me, your sweet and soft lips landed on mine.

You sighed, I sighed, we kissed slowly, enjoying that unattainable, pleasurable feeling. I cried again, grabbing your body, kissing you deeper, not wanting our bodies to separate.

“(Y/N)…” I sighed, pulling away against my will, overcome by emotions. You looked at me confused, caressing my skin, as if you were feeling the same, something that seemed impossible. “You are definitely the girl of my dreams…”

82 notes · View notes