lnsfawwi

[lnsfawwi]

Ace Alpha Bucky x Omega Steve:

When Steve presented as omega, only 15 years old at the time, Steve got so sick he had to be sent to the hospital. The doctor told them that it was probably due to Steve's poor health, that it was going to get better once his body accepted the intense heat cycle but still unlikely to be painless.

'Maybe an Alpha in his life can help.' said the doctor.

There was an Alpha in Steve’s life and that was Bucky. He presented as Alpha just 2 months ago, and it was a fairly mild process. Except for the constant boner and mood swings, he felt fine. When he smelt the unusually intense smell of Steve his Alpha instinct was flared up instantly, however in a more protective manner than sexual.

It was confusing, somewhat of a relief too. For a while now Bucky had suspected that he might be homosexual. He had lost himself many times in those baby blue eyes, felt the fluttering of his heart at the sound of Steve’s laughter, and the dread of almost losing him to some illness.

Maybe it was just brotherhood. He was at the age when kids started to fantasize about romance after all. Maybe he wasn't sick or going to hell. Maybe everything would be normal again.

But it never did.

He couldn't explain the feelings he had for Steve that he he never had for girls, it wasn't the same he had for Becca. It was...something else.

He grew up listening to other alpha boys talking about the 'sweet sweet scent' of omega girls, so dreamy like a fairytale. He'd kissed girls, had felt their soft breasts and their delicate hands on his dick, but nothing came to. Their scents were undeniably pleasant, in the same way that flowers were pleasant, didn't mean he wanted to fuck flowers.

Steve's scent was pleasant too, but there was something more than just pleasant. It was calming, after a whole day's work Steve's scent made him relax, it to Bucky felt like home. It was attractive, Bucky could hold Steve and drank in the smell and that wouldn't be enough. And when Steve was in heat, the Alpha in him would kill anyone who even look at Steve the wrong way, and he'd wear Steve's smell like a badge of honor, people's judgemental looks be damned.

When in heat, Steve would cling to him like a dying man, pressing their bodies together as if only by melting their bodies together could cure the pain. To ease the pain, Steve sometimes would seek out some random alpha who'd take him. As unpopular as Steve was, there were a lot of alphas who were just willing to take any omega in heat.

It didn't help much so Steve eventually stopped, finding solace only in Bucky's embrace.

Then war happened, Bucky was shipped out, Steve joined the army and somehow became a national symbol. The serum didn't change his gender, it did, however, fixed the pain that came with heat.

There were no short supply of women, omegas, betas and alphas, even a few men, who'd be more than glad to have Captain America's dick/ass. Steve regretted that he didn't bring a piece of clothing of Bucky's when he left for the tour.

Then the war happened to him. If anything, he got Bucky back along with some great men he could call friends.

They were at the Polish/German border in the summer of '44 when Steve's heat hit.

The Howlies all were alphas, Steve's scent was so damn strong they had to take a patrol just to stay far away from him. Bucky remained, of course, guarding the door to Steve's room and taking care of the man whom Bucky could barely recognize physically yet still so painfully familiar by scent and touch, by heart and blood.

Steve was curled by in the makeshift nest, sweating a little but otherwise fine.

'I see that the serum fixed the heat as well, huh?'

'It did.'

'now you don't gotta listen to all the find an alpha bullshit.'

Steve thought about it, maybe it's the hormone, maybe it's because they've had brushes with death way too many times, he asked, 'why don't you want me?'

'what?'

'why don't you want me?' he repeated, 'I'm an omega in heat and you're...' he gestured to Bucky's presence.

Bucky didn't answer.

'Do you have someone?' Steve asked, though he knew the answer.

'no.'

'okay.'

That night they had sex. It was hard to say who initiated it - maybe Steve rubbed his hip on Bucky's dick first, maybe Bucky kissed Steve's neck first - it just happened. They were kissing and biting and trying to melt into one in the nest.

It was all new and exciting to Bucky, The tightness of his balls, the tension building up in his groin and the release. Yet no physical pleasure could compete with the love that threatened to burst out of his chest as he felt the warmth radiating from Steve, the ways that the slightest touch could send Steve trembling and moaning and through the peak and watching Steve come again and again as he repeated his name like a prayer.

It was clear now to Bucky that he'd always wanted Steve, maybe not sexually but definitely romantically, and Steve had always felt the same. For every time Bucky allowed himself to indulge in Steve's scent after a long day, Steve was lost in the intimacy too, and for every second they were apart, the ache inside was something even the serum couldn't cure.

They've always loved each other, belonged to each other.

They didn't mark each other, of course, since they didn't want to face court martial.

That was how Steve died, an unmarked yet loved omega.

。

。

。

Or at least that was what he had wanted, not the unmarked the part. the dying part.

[lnsfawwi]

can we talk about the fact that Steve's face doesn't trigger Bucky's memory but 'I'm with you till the end of line' did?

Bucky never got used to big Steve😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[lnsfawwi]

This is stupid.

Bucky remembers an internet post, about how blind people don't see black, they see nothing. The world is just a endless void to them.

The blackness seems just that, an endless void, one that's expanding and consuming everyone, everything.

Isn't it great, just when he decided that he wants to live and actually do something.

'alright,' he concedes, 'see you guys on the other side.'

Ava nods, steps into the darkness first, her body becomes a shadow on the ground that is gone not a second later.

Alexei yells in Russian, 'Lena I'm coming for you.' as he too disappears, while John grinds his teeth and dash into it with the determination of a soldier ready to die.

Bucky wishes Steve was here.

An explosion shakes him to his consciousness. Screams, shouts, gun fire, the smell of torched meat and blood. Instinct before sight tells him that he's on a battlefield, and he is being bombarded by the enemy. He jumps into the trench right in front of him, keeping his head down before taking in the sight around him.

Soldiers...American soldiers in WW2 uniforms...

'Don't move from your position! Keep down!' That sounds like his own voice.

'Sarge! Oh god...Sarge, look!'

Bucky looks over to the source of the voice. It's Private Will Keating, a 20 year old kid from Long Island. Bucky remembers the kid saying he was planning on going to Harvard before the war broke out. The plan was never reaized because he never had a chance to go home from the war.

Bucky saw himself - so young, so innocent - peeking out from the trench. A blue light flashes. Bucky didn't have to look to know what he - sargeant barne is seeing. That's his first encounter with Hydra.

More men stand up from hiding out of pure shock.

'What the hell.' Dugen mutters.

'sarge...' another soldier, by the name of Mortens asks shakingly.

No. No, don't do it. Don't surrender. People are going to die, being tortured. You will live but it's worse than dying, hundred times worse. People will die but not you, no, you will live to kill hundreds more.

'we...' the young sergeant takes a deep breath, 'we have to surrender. We'll hold on strong until rescue is here, okay?'

People hesitate fr a while, then one of them drops the gun, then another, and another...

'you are making a mistake.' Bucky pleads to his younger self, who is unaware of the nightmares ahead. But the young commander can't hear him. Dropping the weapons, the young men follow their sergeant out of the trenches.

'no, come back!' Bucky reaches for Will, who died in Hydra's lab. Like a flash, the kid turns his mudded face towards him and shots him on the chest with a dead look.

'This all starts with you.'

That's the last thing Bucky hears before darkness engulfs him.

-

An explosion shakes him to his consciousness. Screams, shouts, gun fire, the smell of torched meat and blood. Instinct before sight tells him that he's on a battlefield, and he is being bombarded by the enemy.

Fuck, it's a loop.

Bucky jumps into the trench. There's no time to wallow, he has a mission.

There has got to be a way out of this scene. Every scene has a door, he's been this kind of situation before when Shuri decoded him. He only has to find it.

The trenches are a dead end, the field is far away from base, there's only one way to go.

As soldiers pop up from their position to the sight of Hydra's alien tech tank, Bucky jumps out, running at full speed towards the tank. Hydra tries to shoot him but he's too fast. Bucky jumps on top of the vehicle, rips off the door with his left arm and jumps in.

It's cold, no, it's freezing. He sees white. He sees red. He sees himself.

It's the bottom of the Alpes.

The Bucky Barnes that fell is uncounsious. It's for the better anyway, it hurt like hell.

Bucky remembers the fall, Steve reaching for him, Steve who went on a suicide mission because he was so devastated, whom he failed...

FOCUS ON THE MISSION.

Bucky starts to run, trying to find the door to whatever is next. But the canyon is so vast, so deep down, so lifeless. His heartbeat gets louder and louder as his breath gets heavier. Panic builds up inside of him with despair.

He comes back to himself, who's lying on the ground, only half dead.

There are way worse things than death.

Bucky lets out a frustrated growl. He hates others messing with his mind. He can't let that happen anymore. Think, Bucky, what would Steve do?

If there's no way, punch a way out.

-

He is on a roof top of a building in Sarajevo.

-

He is faced with a group of young girls in Red Room.

-

He shoots Steve in the stomach.

-

'Where the fuck are you, Bob?'

Bucky shouts to no one as he stumbles into another event in his life that he would much rather not relive - the bunker in Siberia. On the other end of the room, Steve, him, and Stark are approaching Zemo.

'I will find you.' He continues searching, not for any door but one that'll lead him to Bob and Yelena. 'I gotta save Yelena, you know. No offence but uh, the only time we met you ripped my arm off, so I'm not a big fan of yours, but she has a soft spot for you, and it didn't turn out so great for her so far. I gotta get her outta here one way or another, and I'd prefer if it's the easier way.'

Bucky never knew Yelena from the Red Room. By the time she's old enough for training, Bucky was already put to cryo, and brainwashed every time before and after a mission. Natalia talked about her once or twice, that her little sister was blonde, and that she liked soccer.

Bucky owes it to Nat to keep her save.

They never had a choice, all the things they went through, the pain they suffered and the ones they inflicted on the world, the shame, the helplessness, the void inside. They never had a chance at living.

Not until now. They made a choice to come back to fight Sentry knowing it's a losing fight, they made a choice to step into the void. They made a choice to not be exalted heroes but the kind of person whom they can live with. And to live, to live with the terrible things within them, and the ones in the past and the ones will undoubtedly happen in the future, to live for themselves.

To live.

Bucky knows where the door is: The silo.

-

Bucky is tired. 2 years under media spotlight Bucky is still not used to the press shoving a microphone at his face. It's worse than any fight. And also there's a fight against a near God creature.

'STEEEEEEVE.' Bucky trundles into the living room groaning, 'STEEEEVIIIEEEE.'

'hey Bucky.' Steve catches Bucky, letting him collapse into his arms, kissing him on the forehead, 'I saw you on the news.'

'and I saw you in the void.'

'you wanna tell me what happened?'

Bucky buries his face in Steve's chest, his voice muffled, 'I missed you.'

'I'm here, Buck, I'm here.'

[lnsfawwi]

all the people reading my hossi posts/fics, where are you guys when I was in the fandom😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[lnsfawwi]

I’m so done with Bucky being described as “Soviet” like it’s a cutesy little thing. The Soviets weren’t a fucking joke. Thousands of villages were literally wiped off the map due to Soviet policies. Entire ethnic groups are gone or lost their homeland because of Soviet genocides. Millions of people were executed or sent to gulags for disagreeing with the government, and former Soviet countries are still struggling for independence from Russia, and that’s only scratching the surface. 

Sure, Bucky was a tool of the Soviet Union as the Winter Soldier, but he didn’t chose it for himself, and he never would have chosen it for himself. It’s an role that was forced on him by people who literally got off on forcing him to do things against his will. So to call Bucky “Soviet” is to align him with his abusers, and that really rubs me the wrong way. 

[lnsfawwi]

诸葛亮：那我就不客气了

[lnsfawwi]

ace alpha Bucky/horny omega Steve😩

please someone write it😩

[lnsfawwi]

me conjuring 45426164329413 different scenarios for stevebucky to fall in love vs my actual love life

[lnsfawwi]

in honour of Irish Steve. just imagine Steve calling him Bocky💀

[lnsfawwi]

Steve Bucky serial killers AU sounds fun...

Bucky is a latent psychopath, he sees something in Steve, that anger and violence, something Bucky doesn't experience as acutely as him but always finds interesting, in fact they're probably the only interesting things in his life. Steve is interesting.

It takes some grooming and coaching, cus Steve refuses to cross the line. they beat up bullies at school, and when that's not enough, Bucky sneaks them into bars and pick fights there. bar fights are messy, dangerous, and fun. there's a scar on Bucky's left forearm from when he blocked a beer bottle for Steve.

the day after Sarah died, Bucky comes to Steve's house only to find it empty. he searches for him until it's dark, until he finally sees the familiar figure in a dark alley, swaying on his feet, a guy lies on the ground by his feet, still.

“Steve?” the man is dead. when Bucky comes closer, he can see the gushing head wound. “how did you...”

“there's a brick.” Steve still sounds dazed.

Bucky puts his jacket over Steve and takes him home. he cleans Steve up. in the bathroom Steve finally meets Bucky's eyes.

“I just killed someone.”

“you did.”

“but you are still here.”

“I'm always here, pal.”

“you are not...scared? disgusted?”

Bucky wipes off the last bit of that poor bastard's brain off Steve's exposed neck, and says, “I'm proud, Stevie.”

[lnsfawwi]

In honour of Pride Parade today in Dublin, friendly reminder that Steve Rogers is a son of Irish immigrants and he's gay AF

[lnsfawwi]

I really really really love the idea of a super secure relationship

like, Bucky did doubt if he was worthy of Steve in cacw but only for a little while. when Steve told him to “get outta here” he did cus he knew Steve would want him to survive this, he knew Steve would always believe that he was worth saving, worth more than the relationship he'd had with the Avengers. he knew Steve would choose him again and again and again.

the idea of Bucky choosing someone else over him probably never crossed his mind. he did get jealous sometimes, before the war, but only because the roles were asymmetrical (friend vs girlfriend).

so inmodern days, they are just 200% securein their relationship. no doubt, no jealousy (ok some jealousy, cus Steve's petty like that).

so. yeah.

[lnsfawwi]

Ace!Steve thought:

Steve was raised Catholic. he knew later in life that masterbation and sex outside of marriage was normal, even people from his church did it

The church made sexual desire out to be some devil, Steve spent half his childhood fearing it, but that devil never came for him. Steve was 16 and he overheard boys at school talking about sex and Bucky too. the first time Bucky did it with a girl, he told Steve all about it under the duvet, all hushed and excited. it was the best feeling he's ever had. Bucky told him.

so Steve tried. masterbation. he couldn't even get off the first couple of times, so he thought it was just another thing wrong with him.

he never wanted a girl. or a guy, for that matter.

he did date. and very occasionally he'd actually enjoy it. he liked communicating with ppl, hanging out and having fun. he kissed a girl once, on their second date. it was good, but not great as other boys described, and he was sure he didn't want to have sex with her.

he stopped dating her cus he didn't want to face all the “why don't you want it” inquiry from her or Bucky. Bucky was great, he was wonderful, perfect, but nosy sometimes.

he'd rather spending time w Bucky anyway.

he did get off though, w no one particular in mind.

ok that was a lie. he was trying to think about some girl, some girl from Bucky's colorful tales. but it ended up being Bucky, Bucky's hands sliding up and down a curvy body, fingers flicking the pink buds, mouth sucking on the delicate, soft skin. his cock, hard and thick, sliding in and out of the area between the legs (Steve didn't know what that looked like so the image was just Bucky).

he felt good physically, awful mentally. he tried to convince himself that that was just bc he lacked any point of reference except for Bucky's words and Bucky himself.

he still didn't want sex.

he still liked Bucky the most. and Bucky stopped messing around with girls after Steve's ma died, too busy keeping them fed. Steve liked that too.

they shared a bed sometimes, for warmth or comfort, and Steve would remember that time he touched himself w Bucky in mind. he liked touching Bucky, Bucky felt nice. but he didn't particularly want to touch him in a sexual way, no more than he wanted to touch himself, which was almost never. almost.

he thought the serum would fix him, his dick, to be exact. it didn't. but it was ok, they were at war anyway.

and then it was ok too, cus ppl did expect Captain America to be a prude.

one day, Sam and he were on their way to Turkey to chase a lead, and Sam asked, “so were you guys ever...?”

“ever what?”

“lovers.”

“no. Why would you think...”

“hey, sorry man. It's just, maybe I was reading into things. no offense.”

“I'm not offended, I'm just...” Steve paused for a while, “I do love him.”

“I get it.”

“no. I mean...I, I used to think about, future. After the war. And, I couldn't...I don't know. I couldn't imagine myself with another person. And I couldn't stomach the thought of him with one either. I thought, and I still think the years before the war, when we lived together that's all I want. Just us, broke as fuck but we'd always have each other. And we could always visit his folks cus they were just 20 minutes away.” Steve sighed, “I know how it sounds. I knew homosexuality before you were born, Sam. I'm not...I don't want him that way. Sexually, I mean. I just...”

“you just want to spend the rest of your life with him.”

“yeah.”

“Steve, I ask this sincerely, do you want to have sex, with anyone, man or woman?”

“not really, no.”

“ok. right. So I guess whatever crash course on modern sexuality SHIELD gave you left out this one.” Sam typed something on his phone and showed it to him, “It's a real new concept compared to homosexuality. Literally a 21 century invention, so it makes sense that you didn't know, and that's why it confuses you.”

Steve read it. Asexual. There was a related term, aromantic. The two were not in anyway mutually exclusive, or bound together.

Suddenly everything made sense. The selfish possessiveness he had for Bucky, the incompatibility of the desire to be intimate but not sexually, and the soul crushing love he's never had for anyone but Bucky, it all made sense.

“oh.” he gasped. “I'm in love with him.”

[lnsfawwi]

The thing about Cristiano and Kaka is that, yes football is a gayass sport, yes players do crazy gayass stuff that would get a Hollywood star in gay allegations forever, yes they are gregarious people who are physically affectionate, but the way they treat each other is DIFFERENT

in the entire world I think Cristiano only ever sees Kaka as his equal, if not better. and oh my god does he ADORE him. cus seriously he physically cannot keep his eyes away from him. he constantly wants to be close tp him. he teases him instead of pranking like he does with other ppl.

throughout Cris's career, has he ever befriended anyone who literally decimated his team (twice)? he's proud, look at how much he hates messi. has he ever made a friend out of a team that's not even in the same country as his after 2 games? has anyone? because they became friends after the 0405 champions league game, which is evident by their behavior at the games in 0607 and the 07, 08 ballon dor.

and Kaka? man the way he praises Cris, defends him when the media turns on Cris. the way he slips up about Cris's childhood, and how he sees a humble, generous, funny, attentive, and childish person when the media portrays Cris as anything but.

And if the reporter asks about messi? Kaka just randomly decides to talk about Cris instead. He literally said so what if messi won the world cup, doesn't mean he's the best. messi can win 20 world cups and Kaka would still think Cristiano Ronaldo is the best footballer of their generation.

the thing is. there are things that happened between them that cannot be explained by the high concentration of homosociality of the sport. the K on Cris's shoulder, for example.

the thing is. even if there was, at certain point (Kaka's divorce and Cris's breakup that happened at the same time) they tried to make it work, it clearly failed.

and that's that.

[lnsfawwi]

countries will be like “nooooo our birth rate is falling exponentially and it’s effecting our economy” and immigrants will be like “hey can you let us in so we can boost your economy and fill your empty jobs and raise our children here” and inevitably the country is like “the only thing worse than a large scale collapse of our population is letting foreigners live here”

[lnsfawwi]

“where's Bucky?” Clint asks. He's supposed to be paired with Bucky for the fair games, but lost him while he was waiting for his hotdog. And, in his defense, Bucky is so easy to lose in a crowd with his height.

“I don't know.” Nat looks around. Her eyes finally catch the tall blond in the crowd. “There, I think.”

Clint finds Steve too. Steve, who is supposed to be partners with Sam, is chatting animately with none other than Bucky Barnes in front of a claw machine while Sam is trying to get a stuffed pokemon.

“huh.”Clint says.

“yeah.”

[lnsfawwi]

So how long have they been together?

In a way, they've been a constant in each other's life since 1929. But do the years they spent in ice need to be extracted?

Their first kiss happened in 2015, after Shuri deprogrammed Bucky. So, in a way, they are still on their honeymoon phase.

Which is the only acceptable reason for whatever this is.

“hey Sam, do you think I should buy this for Bucky?” Steve holds up a hair clip with a big red fake flower. They are in Seville for a little post-op rest/city walk. The little stand is clearly made for innocent tourists, hence the stereotypical floral accessories.

“why?” Sam stares at it. It's not bad. It's just...why?

“I dunno, it'd be funny I guess.” Steve smiles, but puts it back anyway. “he looks good in red, too.”

Sam tries not to roll his eyes. Seriously, he's had enough Bucky talk in the two years after DC, but then it was to help Steve cope. Sam wonders how it had slipped his mind that Steve is head over ass in love with Bucky? And Barnes? If Sam sees more of Barnes absent-mindedly gazing at Steve like the man is gravity itself, Sam's gonna go blind.

The problem is that they don't seem to realize how obvious (and disgustingly cute) to outsides their affection is.

“Hey, Buck! Look! This place is amazing!”

Sam looks over to Steve, who is now holding his phone up to film the streets of the city for Bucky to see. Then the camera points to him.

“say hi to Sam!”

“why, I thought you want to show me beautiful views, Steve.”

“fuck you too, Barnes.”

“we are heading to see the palace. I'll keep you on the call so you can see it too. It's real close.”

“yeah sure. Speaking of beautiful views, lemme see ya face. I'm talking to walls here, Rogers.”

Bucky isn't even in the same continent as them but somehow Sam feels like he's third wheeling.

Ugh, young love.