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Mary Herbert

“Holding onto something”

soft pastel on paper

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「清澄」

F20

2017年

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Hanif Abdurraqib

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the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

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Let me examine closer *my eyes turn purple and blaze with spiritual power* oh yeah no that's an egret not a heron, it's got black legs

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Illustrations from The Black Cat magazine, vol. 16 (1910-1911).

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Medicine Fox. Carl Ray (Oji-Cree). 1977.

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Little Fox. Written by Frances Frost. Illustrated by Morgan Dennis. 1952.

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One of the many stupid feelings humans are capable of having is the private, repulsive rage of seeing someone getting support and sympathy for a problem no one helped you with when you were having it, either because you didn’t have anyone or because it never occurred to you that you could ask for help. Suddenly the world seems to split into two – the realm that contains people like them, the connected and loved – and the realm that contains you, the miserable and the alone, who must suffer in solitude. This is sufficiently horrible that you grasp for reasons or world-understandings to make this reality acceptable, and a mentally available one is that it is superior to be in the miserable solitude realm, that the problem is one that should be solved with self sufficiency and dignity. That this other person is pathetic for being aided and loved when you were not. Scorn is more palatable than confronting the notion that you could have received aid (if you had made different choices or been luckier), that you desperately wish you could have been aided but were not. Scorn is more palatable than the howling hunger for things to have been different for you. So your mind chooses scorn.

It is also a bad place to be. Human existence is full of such traps.

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Laidly Worm from The Book of Dragons. Written by Leonard and Hosie Baskin. Illustrated by Leonard Baskin. 1985.

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Fuck all romance except whatever the fuck those two lawyers had going on.

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Howard

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From a 1940's textbook.

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Евгений Чарушин "Вот они какие". 1962.