lodichi

[lodichi]

Text Post Memes #12

feat. the Northern Lights' worst customer experiences

[lodichi]

Text Post Memes #11

feat. the Owlbear Survivors

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Haze Picrew Dump #3

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Concept: cursed blade rehabilitation center. Destroying a sentient weapon is expensive and highly unethical, so adventurers bring them to the center where highly trained staff can care for them and eventually find them forever homes. It turns out most cursed weapons are products of trauma and are not strictly evil themselves. Some blades turn out to be fiercely protective companions. Others don't even want to be weapons at all, finding joy in simple work like blacksmithing or farming. Most blades just need to be loved.

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Imaginr if there were Two women with something Gay & Weird going on

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time to get a delicious tea drink from my favorite crone, boba yaga

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idk what kind of tear I'm on tonight but I just felt like doing some weird stuff wrt dnd characters

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how well could YOUR party pull off a fake dating scheme?

i had a dream that the hot new dnd meme was to take your party members, pair them up, and rank them on how convincingly they could be fake dating/fake married. Grading was based on how well they could act, pretend to be affectionate, etc. Here's that for the Wayfarers! (Note: Freegift+Silvertongue and Aelinor+Linmir have been omitted on account of Siblings)

Argos/Silvertongue (Nilgos): Beautifully dramatic and elegant. Silvertongue and Argos both cut a very striking silhouette, tall and sturdy. They would make constant reference to their “daughter” (Percy) to continue to sell the story. Silvertongue is fully away of Argos's past relationship baggage, which allows them to navigate the fake relationship with grace. I think they could even kiss convincingly! 10/10 honestly.

Argos/Freegift (Fargos): As the two party members most likely to Commit To The Bit, FG and Argos would play a constant game of “yes, and” while pretending to date. Argos would pull increasingly bizarre romantic stunts (all with a completely straight face), while Freegift wouldn't be able to tell if he was being serious or not, but he can't take that chance. Ironically, this actually makes them extremely convincing. 9/10.

Antigone/Argos (Antargos): Tig would be afraid of stepping on Argos's toes, literally and metaphorically, and it would impact her performance as a result. 5/10 could go either way but I think closer to a 4 than a 6.

Antigone/Aelinor (Aeligone): Actually not too bad, I think. Aelinor is good at being affectionate without necessarily kissing, and Tig can help reign in Ae if she gets riled up about the grift. 6/10

Antigone/Linmir (Lintigone): Kind of stiff but in a sort of elegant way? See the problem with Antigone is that she just can't kiss anyone convincingly, even if they would look like a solid couple otherwise. They'd struggle too much with affection to be convincing. 4/10

Antigone/Nilvertongue (SilverTig): Nil likes to tease Tig affectionately but they're also one of the people that Tig first really took a liking to in the party, so she could pull out some genuine affection towards Nil. But she would be very tsuntsun about it. 7/10

Antigone/Freegift (TigGift): Absolute gremlin energy. They're the couple who brings up your last divorce in such a way that you can't tell if they're being rude on purpose or not (spoiler: they are). They would drape their arms over each other and pull each other close, but they falter because they simply cannot kiss convincingly. In fact, they can't bring themselves to kiss at all – they have too much bro energy. 3/10.

Argos/Aelinor (Arlinor): I can't decide if Aelinor threatening that she won't ever let Argos die would make them MORE or less convincing as a couple. Either way, they're both kind of intimidating, especially when they're next to each other. 7/10 they could probably pull it off.

Argos/Linmir (Lingos): EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE: The Couple. They really, really tried but they just have too many hang-ups. 1/10. At least they're both tall.

Aelinor/Nilvertongue (AeliNil): Oujo-sama laughs at you from across the ballroom. 8/10

Aelinor/Freegift (Freelinor): Bonus points for being Actually In Love; unfortunately, they would each become too flustered by their displays of affection to keep up the charade convincingly. Both of them would alternate between trying too hard and getting shy. 4/10

Linmir/Silvertongue (SilverLin): Extremely, intimidatingly beautiful, and could coast on that energy for a lot of their charade. They could delicately hold each other's hands and kiss the back of their palms and such, and truly, who would try to question them? 10/10

Linmir/Freegift (LinGift): Nope, they just can't do it. Linmir would spent too much time wondering “is this how FG treats my little sister?” and interrogating Freegift, who would immediately go on the defensive. Lots of arguing, but not in a very couple-y way. 0/10 bad job all around.

[lodichi]

weed smorking dnd characters (including npcs)

Tanith: way too much of a square to smoke, possibly even afraid of mind-altering chemicals, although she isn't opposed to other people smoking around her. Would be the designated sober person at a party and would be perfectly happy keeping an eye on everyone.

Antigone: Absolutely, 100% smokes, probably as an unhealthy coping mechanism while living with Meadow. Smokes more casually now. Tries to make the Navigator smoke while on official Scion duty and laughs about it.

Cass: Weirdly not into smoking despite being a halfling. It just doesn't really interest her. Might smoke in a social setting for the fun of it, but it's kind of a neutral thing for her.

Haze: Headcanon time: Kalashtar like to smoke weed to try and emulate visiting the Dal Quor. They're severed from dreams, but a high can help them get closer to that barrier than usual, and maybe closer to their Quori. As a direct result of this, Haze does not smoke and in fact outright refuses to do so.

Vee: Better at smoking weed than you would think just by looking at him, but it makes him feel weird, like he's on the cusp of remembering something really important...

Cain: Would be smoking right now if he could be.

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dnd character concepts

Kaia (placeholder name)

Triton or Sea Elf

Bard (College of Dance)

Dark blue-grey skin, light blue hair

Right eye goldenrod yellow, left eye always covered by her bangs (but presumably goldenrod yellow...?)

Wears dancers' clothes

Plays the nagoya harp (taishōgoto)

Shiver and Frye Splatoon 3 my beloveds...

I'm rly vibing with the character concept. She might be who I play if we do another game in the Strahd-Icewind setting because I think she could fit in pretty well. I have a lot more backstory for her, too, but well... I'll keep that to myself for now :3

Last-Star-at-Dawn "Dawn" Clanname

Tabaxi

Swashbuckler Rogue

She's A Pirate 🎶

Dark grey fur, black hair, pink nose, golden eyes (or maybe blue-yellow heterochromia)

Wears a big ol' pirate hat and stereotypical pirate garb

I feel like I used to have character inspo for her but i forgor

Sassy pirate cat... I love her. She also has a backstory that's fairly easy to slot into just about any setting, so I think she would be fun to play just about anywhere.

Alixander "Alix" Tiberius Volin

Human

Evocation Wizard

He's a - wait for it - smug prettyboy with dubious morals

Spell sculpts fireballs around his partymates just to be an asshole

Hair is either ultra light brown, grey, or white - maybe light brown with a white streak (with mysterious magical origins...?)

Think he's better than you

Character inspo: the usual suspects

His backstory is a little more setting-dependent so he's not totally fleshed out yet... he has strict parents who try to define a life for him and he has a rebellious streak, that I know for sure.

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oh my god Kazuhira Miller IS kind of a Haze inspo character isn't he

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messing around in this picrew; it's kinda cute but the left-most figure is pretty heavily masculine which can make wlw couples a little tricky. But even soooo....

TigShay

TanLeif

AsterOsben...? Kinda?

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Niosiki “Nee” Cranta The Halls of Screaming Stone Titanomachy Campaign (written in early 2020)

The Acorn Path academy prides itself on the gruelling nature of its entrance exam, but what you chiefly remember is the time just after its completion: the hour you spent waiting for news of acceptance or rejection. Prior to today, prior to right now, that hour was the longest one in your life.  Now, as then, the seconds drag past. Your stomach feels as if it is stuffed with boiling lead; a horrible itching restlessness crawls along your skin. You can feel every molecule of blood and sweat and cave dirt on your body and all of them are… Wriggling.

Now, as then, you pace in long circuits. Only this time, you’re pacing an underground passage instead of the deep-carpeted university hallway. That’s fine. The clatter of your hobnailed boots on the stone is more satisfying, anyway.

“Nee,” says someone, from somewhere; you don’t know where, because you’re extremely not interested in looking anybody in the eye right now.

“I’m fine,” you say, brusque, with a lot of dignity, and sit down on the ground. Sketch the outline of Prestidgitation in the air with your fingers; it’s a cantrip you’ve done a million times, and it’s actually almost relaxing. The invisible force that whisks everything unclean off of your skin and clothes. The almost-heat, almost-cold, almost-pressure of the sensation, all of those and also none of them. It steadies you, so you cast it again. Uselessly.

You didn’t take a single hit in this fight, so you don’t have any need to patch yourself up. You used maybe two spells, and flipping through your spellbook to prepare more takes precisely forty-seven seconds. Leaves three thousand, five hundred fifty-three before the rest of the party is ready to move on, and you feel every single one of those seconds like a weight on your ankles. 

Pacing bothers the people around you, apparently. People who got to the fight sooner, and, therefore, did get injured, and, therefore, need more rest. So you won’t pace. You cast Prestidigitation again. Still feel unclean, afterward.

This hour is stretching far, far longer than the other one, the Acorn Path one. You think about possible time-dilation or -compression spells (that’s, what, Dunamancy?) to occupy your brain, which otherwise will start churning about the fight itself. You refuse to think about that. Your brain is your most powerful weapon and you are not going to-- oh dammit, you’ve thought about it.

This hour is stretching, yes, far longer than seems possible or believable, but it’s nothing. Nothing, compared to the agonizing seconds of waiting to see if Tanith’s desperate spell would take. 

You’re thinking about it now, so any protection not thinking about it could have afforded is gone. That makes it okay to look across the cave, to let your eyes pass over Oz (sitting with one leg pulled up, leaning back against the wall, face pale and drawn, hands unsteady) and Lylah (squatting next to him, talking low and seriously). Nothing immediately happens, which makes it okay to take a deep breath. From this angle, the new scar on Oz’s face is glaring. Obvious, with its corpse-white hue, with the way it drags one eyelid down, with that eye’s iris gone pale green and milky. It’s not a clean scar, somehow. It makes your fingers itch to shape healing spells, even though you don’t know any. You have tried exactly one healing spell, back in university, which sucked and was boring. But still.

If you look at it logically, laying out all the facts, what happened shouldn’t be shocking. It really shouldn’t. Yesterday, you took a horrible gelatinous cave-thing to the face and upper body, and passed out twice within the span of an hour. Leif routinely gets skewered by assorted weaponry, and also hasn’t had an audible heartbeat in weeks. Lylah and Oz and, yes, Tanith and Symon and Arrie, too, have gotten knocked out plenty of times. Sometimes more messily than this. No one in this party is invulnerable, you know that. Obviously.

But it’s never been this bad before. Never anything that wasn’t fixable by dumping a healing potion down someone’s throat and hoping for the best; never anything that put you out of sorts like this. Leif and Lylah and, awfully, Oz -- you’ve been traveling with them going on five months now. You’re used to them being around. You kind of like them being around. And when you saw Tanith’s face as she leaned over Oz’s body -- when you thought, for an eternal, nasty moment, that he was gone for good--

Your thoughts stop right there. They refuse to congeal. It feels like someone is moving heavy furniture on your chest.

Pushing harder on that line of thought doesn’t even do any good. It just kicks your stupid heartrate into overdrive and shallows out your breathing, and that horrible, crushing weight on your chest gets worse. Your thoughts wheel away from Oz lying still, Lylah screaming, Leif’s intent stare, but the only replacement is Rill’s wrinkled face. Her lips, turned down at the corner. Her saying How did you get to be such a disappointment, Nee. Your skin itches again; if you got up. If you paced, back and forth, fast, vicious, maybe you’d feel better. But Oz is tired and Lylah might be crying; you cannot disturb them. Instead, you twirl your new wand in your fingers. Put it away. Cast Prestidigitation again, even though you can’t have possibly gotten dirty.

A sudden memory, that time at Acorn Path again: you’d folded a spare paper from your exam booklet into a shitty little fan to pass the time. You’re way better at paper-folding now; when you dig out a spare parchment from your pack, your hands are practised and sure on the creases.

Rabbit-ear fold. Outside-reverse. Pleat. Making the edges perfectly even, the folds crisp and straight, quiets your mind and soothes the weird itchy-jumpiness. It speeds time back up, too; it’s almost time to pack up when you look down and realize the finished shape of the thing you’ve made.

Your chest almost gets crushed again, but you take a deep breath through it. Stand up. Stalk across the cave, angry, now, all of a sudden.

You drop the tiny paper wolf in Oz’s lap just as he finishes talking to Lylah. Skitter your eyes away from his befuddled look. “Don’t do that again,” you say over your shoulder, already turning to go. You add, as an afterthought, “Asshole.”

Some of the pressure in your chest eases, just a little bit.

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good night, good night (i cannot win this fight)

or

Oh my god there were exactly four beds a Cinders microfic feat. vaguely one-sided (?) Harthsel

"Well, based on our sizes... it would be best for Gawain and Brân to share a bed," Harth was saying.

Brân, looming large over Gawain, looked down at her with their one good eye and asked, "you good with that?

Silently, Gawain nodded. Some kind of look passed between them - Haze couldn't quite parse it - but it felt like a secret handshake.

Ishtar, who had been a little more flighty ever since she started manifesting psionic powers, suddenly snapped back to the conversation.

"What are we talking about?"

"We are divvying up the rooms," Harth explained.

"Oh." Ishtar frowned. "I'm not sharing a bed."

"You don't have to!" Aysel chirped. She threw one arm around Haze's shoulders and pulled Harth into a side-hug with the other. "You can take the other bed in Brân and Gawain's room, and then Harth and I can share a bed, and Haze can take the spare bed since he's so bony."

Haze had a single inch on Aysel, and plenty of muscle, but he brushed off the comment.

"That's fine with me," he said. "but what about you, Harth?"

"That is acceptable," Harth said.

Barker Maple, the innkeeper, smiled broadly and handed one room key to Harth, the other to Brân. As the group started to make their way upstairs, Haze caught Aysel's arm.

"Hey," he said in a low voice. "You sure you know what you're doing?"

Aysel tilted her head back to look at him. "Whatever are you talking about?" she asked.

"You know," Haze said. He cast a glance at Harth's back, and continued, "You know Harth is here looking for her girlfriend."

Aysel's chipper expression didn't falter, but her smile was suddenly tense, like it was hard to keep it plastered to her face.

"Obviously I know that," Aysel said. She balled a hand up into a fist and lightly bopped Haze on the arm. "Geez, Haze, don't look so serious! I know what I'm doing, okay?"

She continued to look at him, blithely smiling. They were playing chicken - who would break eye contact first.

Ultimately, it was Haze. With a sigh, he dropped his hand and nodded.

"...okay, Aye. If you say so."

[lodichi]

i'm gonna keep pushing for the Owlbear Six :P

SHIT I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY whether or not Haze knows that Aysel has a crush on Harth so I can decide if he's going to make them sleep in the same bed during this inn stay lol

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SHIT I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY whether or not Haze knows that Aysel has a crush on Harth so I can decide if he's going to make them sleep in the same bed during this inn stay lol

[lodichi]

icewind dale txt memes pt. 4

in honor of us getting An Official Party Name after six months in dnd narnia <3