longbaggysweaters

[longbaggysweaters]

mein herz hat narben

oder eher unter den narben ist noch ein bisschen herz

und diese ganzen narben spiegeln auch den ganzen schmerz

so viele menschen

wieder und wieder

nahmen ihr messer

und stachen es nieder

das kleine herz, noch jung und dumm

wollte nur geliebt sein

doch lud die falschen leute ein

und wurd’ gezwungen zu verstummen

es fühlte so lang den schmerz und all die trauer,

errichtete zum schutz ne mauer

es wurde stiller und dachte nein

ich lade nie wieder jemanden ein

jetzt ist es älter, schlauer und doch alleine

ruhig auf eine gewisse weise

hat angst vor neuen narben wenn’s sich traut

und doch nochmal vom boden hochschaut

doch schreibe ich diese zeilen

lässt es die narben langsam heilen

[longbaggysweaters]

Movements - Tightrope

[longbaggysweaters]

8 months.

It’s been 8 months since we last met

It’s been 8 months since we last talked

8 months since i’ve lost my best friend

And i still seem to think about you every damn day of my life

A lot has changed since then

But i still feel like i am waiting for you to come back to me one day

My life went on just as yours did

But to this day i wanna tell you every little thing

Ive spent all this time trying to convince myself it is better this way

That i’m better off without you

That we were never meant to have a future

And for the first time i was really succeeding not to miss you

To tell myself it was all your fault

But this doesn’t change a single bit of that i still fucking miss you

I don’t know when or even if this is all going to end

We’ve hurt each other so many times and still went back

I thought this process would just keep on repeating itself

But this day, 8 months ago, you just decided to take your heart out and leave

I can not tell you what this has felt like inside of me

I didn’t understand what was going on

If this would have been the end of us

If you’d gonna be responding

You didn’t

And i shattered

Like all the other times before

But this time it was different

Because from the moment i knew you wouldn’t respond

I already had that feeling that this time would have been tha last time

This would have been the last words i have told you

That there was no us anymore

For all these years i really thought i had found my platonic soulmate

That it was you and me till the end

I was convinced it was this way

But still that last time i just had that feeling that it was now over

All of those memories and experiences wasted

All of this time

And now all of my effort would be gone

You would be gone and you would have taken a part of me with you

That day, 8 months ago, my hope was lost and i eventually gave up trying to fix something that can never be fixed

A part of me broke that can never be healed

I screwed myself for again ignoring all the signs

For not exactly knowing what was going to happen again

For not being already used to behavior like this

And especially for not even then fully giving up the hope that you would return one day

For still hoping you would come back

But i hate myself the most for not being able to get over all this

For not being able to let go of you

You meant more to me than anyone else ever did and you probably still do

And i don’t know why

every time i told you this i was more than sincere

You was by far the most important person in my life

And you chose to throw it all away

Sometimes i wonder where you are at the moment

What your plans are after school

If you still think of me at all

If i ever even meant something to you

If i`ll ever stop missing you

If it´ll ever stop hurting

Sometimes i wonder if i am ever going to see you again

[longbaggysweaters]

I stay up at night constantly thinking about the what ifs and all the unsaid words we never got to talk about. The thought of it consumes me late at night, I’ve been having dreams of you and lately I’ve been tricking my brain into thinking that it’s a sign. From god? The universe? Who knows but it’s become an unhealthy obsession to wonder if you might be thinking of me or missing me the same way I am of you. i know it’s not healthy, but it’s my very own way of coping. Late at night i imagine you laying in bed typing and deleting the words I long to hear. I imagine you resisting the urge to call my phone just so you can hear my voice one last time. Reality hits harder in the mornings when I don’t see your number on my phone. I’m left again with longing and emptiness. I do hope that one day you find the courage to talk to me again. I would do anything and give anything to have one last conversation with you. I miss the sound of your voice, im almost forgetting the sound of it.

[longbaggysweaters]

[longbaggysweaters]

More lows than highs.

[longbaggysweaters]

MILK AND HONEY pt.2

[longbaggysweaters]

so tired of everything

but i still can‘t sleep because you

[longbaggysweaters]

isnt it sad how people who lost their best friend have to hear breakup songs bc no one writes about how bad ist hurts to lose your friend?

like yes breakups hurt very bad but at a young age you can fall in love again kinda quick but it takes years to build a friendship that is even half as close as this was.

[longbaggysweaters]

“Nach zwei Joints geht’s mir in der Regel gut”

— 5 jungs, kasimir1441 & $oho bani

[longbaggysweaters]

“Auch wenn ich es mir nicht anmerken lasse, vieles trifft mich einfach.”

—

[longbaggysweaters]

Ich will einfach nicht, dass mir jemand ansieht wenn mich etwas verletzt oder belastet.

[longbaggysweaters]

[longbaggysweaters]

[longbaggysweaters]

[longbaggysweaters]

Migraine // Twenty One Pilots

[longbaggysweaters]