longbeard-wizard

[longbeard-wizard]

bleh

[longbeard-wizard]

Peanut

[longbeard-wizard]

CASE DETAILS——

do you know what evidence the Legion of Beavers has against you?

My apologies for not responding earlier, I am in the mountains ((((a child who was streaming old western movies on their computer every day ate all the upload and download rates))))

Induced Nixe Deep Sleep - I announced I was going to share a recipe on the Ancient Oak Tree, and a recipe mysteriously appeared there that had the Nixe induced into a sleeping state.

Unethical elephant tusk purchasing - I sent my chief advisor a grocery list mentioning elephant tusks. However no physical purchase receipts or items are available to be used against me

Homicide and manslaughter counts - I did this in self-defense

@the-illegal-wizard-council may want to review the evidence

[longbeard-wizard]

Since the Legion is highly respected by the forest community, I will refrain from casting a reduction hex and turning them into tiny minuscule mini beavers that I would put in a glass jar. They’re telling me I have the right to a lawyer. Would you be willing to represent me, @verylegalwizard (I will pay you accordingly)? My current charges are the following:

- Induced Deep Sleep of a Nixe by recipe left on the Ancient Oak Tree in the Cold Forest

- Second degree unethical purchasing of elephant tusks

- 15671 individual manslaughter and homocide charges of hermit crabs

Is @the-illegal-wizard-council willing to take up this Legion Forest case? (My only demand is that NO Royal representation or ‘Wizard council’ OTHER than the Illegal Wizard Council may be present at the hearing unless they would like to be turned into frog spawn that will be fed to my mini Minotaur rescue and his pet phoenix cat hybrid)

I would also like to ask for @the-crab-wizard to be tried by the Illegal Council for Major Lying. Thank you

What is the Legion of Beavers doing in my house

[longbeard-wizard]

What is the Legion of Beavers doing in my house

[longbeard-wizard]

‘Smoldering corpse’ - more like fried hermit crab. “Wizard” crab is a minuscule barely-any-magic creature next to me.

I am being attacked by massive hoards of crabs. My minions have successfully held them off far away from my castle. I have also been stomping on them with my boots, but I will not forgive this behaviour. @the-crab-wizard you will get what is coming for you

[longbeard-wizard]

The law is a scam. I will only present myself to a duel and/or in front of a common jury. If anyone is willing to set up such an event, please leave a notice on the Large Oak in the Cold Forest

I am being attacked by massive hoards of crabs. My minions have successfully held them off far away from my castle. I have also been stomping on them with my boots, but I will not forgive this behaviour. @the-crab-wizard you will get what is coming for you

[longbeard-wizard]

I am being attacked by massive hoards of crabs. My minions have successfully held them off far away from my castle. I have also been stomping on them with my boots, but I will not forgive this behaviour. @the-crab-wizard you will get what is coming for you

[longbeard-wizard]

No wizard council is powerful enough to challenge me. Try all you want, weasels. Wizard council? More like weasel council.

[longbeard-wizard]

Yet another battle won by the Wicked Long Beard Wizard of the North Coast. I shall make you into an example of why no one should mess with me

sorry guys, I fell into the sea to evade my taxes visit relatives, what the hell happened here and why are there so many wizard councils???????!!??

[longbeard-wizard]

I can crush you under my boot. How tall are you again? Oh the average size of a hermit crab is half an inch to four inches? I could put you in a cauldron and make you into a part of my well-known beloved hermit crab soup to feed to my rescue mini Minotaur as a nighttime treat. Being a part of that dish would be the greatest achievement of your life, shellfish subordinate

sorry guys, I fell into the sea to evade my taxes visit relatives, what the hell happened here and why are there so many wizard councils???????!!??

[longbeard-wizard]

I’m pretty sure it’s the fumes from the Arby’s. Or from the cars that drive to the Arby’s. Or from the factories that manufacture the cars. Or from the illegal mines that get raw materials for the cars. Sorry that your parents didn’t know about the treehouse

All these wizards being here makes me feel pressure to actually learn magic. (This is just my last name)

[longbeard-wizard]

I think it’s the toxic fumes from the Arby’s. The ‘American medical system’ is a scam. There should be a local treehouse that gives out free ethical plant-based remedies somewhere in your area

All these wizards being here makes me feel pressure to actually learn magic. (This is just my last name)

[longbeard-wizard]

That looks like something I saw in the hunting castle that I destroyed to give back to nature a few weeks ago. Kill it. You are invited for tea, however. Oh wait. Your little crab mouth can’t drink hot magical liquids. You are a weak little creature

sorry guys, I fell into the sea to evade my taxes visit relatives, what the hell happened here and why are there so many wizard councils???????!!??

[longbeard-wizard]

Oh that’s alright then. I’m sending a complaint and a biscuit over then. It’s not jinxed don’t worry

All these wizards being here makes me feel pressure to actually learn magic. (This is just my last name)

[longbeard-wizard]

Does any *LEGITIMATE* Wizard have a recipe for a Major Tension Headache potion. Leave your recipes on the Large Oak in the Cold Forest please.

[longbeard-wizard]

Any 'wizard', 'warlock' or 'witch' who doesn't pay their minions, servants or companion creatures will be extra smitten by The Mighty Wicked Great Long Bread Wizard of the North Coast.