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[longing-rainbow]

TTC my Rainbow after a missed miscarriage

So here I am, aged thirty three years old, one living child. I recently suffered the utterly devastating impact of a Missed Miscarriage.

Oddly, a part of me still feels that this can not have happened to me. That they have me mixed up with someone else. This could not have possibly happened to me. Things like this don't happen to me.

I remember me and my husband joking to each other on our way to the scan about how it could be twins. Nothing prepared us. NOTHING. for the heartache of hearing them words "I'm sorry, but I think you're baby has died".

Fast forward to three months later.

Trying to conceive

Tracking Ovulation

A living child whom was conceived first time without trying, my pregnancy which resulted in miscarriage was also conceived first time without trying.

Now I am struggling to conceive. Now my body feels all over the place. I am ovulating a week early. I'm spotting throughout my cycle. I feel nauseous constantly. My boobs hurt on and off. Cruelly. Almost taunting me that I am pregnant and then reminding me that I am not.

So many thoughts going through my mind?; Did my surgery affect me? - a D&C after failed medical management. Is my body ok? Are my hormones balanced? what caused my miscarriage in the first place? Why aren't I conceiving now? Am I too old? Am i infertile? Why is this happening to me?

So many questions, and absolutely no answers.