looosey

[looosey]

Literary London: How Do I Love Thee?

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." -- Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806 – 1861) in Sonnet 43

I love love. And I am inspired when I read about love and passion, because I truly think it is the purpose of human life: to love and be loved.

"I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight"

Long distance is quite hard, but I feel okay still, knowing that it is not out of sight out of mind for either of us.

The first week of class, a group of us were on our way from lunch to the outing for the day, perhaps it was Westminster Abbey or even Victoria & Albert, when one of my classmates was lamenting about how much she missed her boyfriend. "I just want him to be here. Can't he just fly over? I don't understand." And I thought this was so precious, and it made me reminiscent of a time I used to feel that fiery. When I asked her, how long they'd been dating, she said one month. That made sense. But inspired by this event and the cuteness of irrationality, I asked my boyfriend the same question on a Friday night: "sure you can't come to London?" which he answered with "I'm down."

So fast forward a week, he arrived at Heathrow the next Thursday, during our long weekend. And because he could only stay for three days and two nights, I turned into a Type A planner and planned out our London date itinerary, which I present to you as a mapping project and walking tour of sorts!

Theatre Night Friday

08:20 Meet at Tottenham Court Road

09:00 Buns from Home for breakfast (at Camden)

09:30 Jetlag naptime

12:00 Camden market for lunch

13:30 Sainsbury, Boots and Thriftshop in Camden

15:30 Check-in at Vauxhall AirBnb

16:30 Perfume shopping at Bloom Scent at Covent Garden

17:00 Dinner at UKIYO Handroll Bar at Covent Garden

18:30 Earl Grey Tea at Caffè Concerto

19:00 Walking through Chinatown

19:30 Les Misérables at Sondheim Theatre

22:00 Back to AirBnb

Eating Tour Saturday

10:00 Wakeup and eat Sainsbury strawberries with smoothie and Kefir drink

11:30 Borough market's Monmouth coffee, Ginger Pig sausage rolls, hot mulled fig drink, and Bread Ahead Creme brulee donut

13:00 Southwark cathedral (mostly for the restroom)

14:00 Spitalfield market shopping, char siu rice roll at ricebrother for lunch

15:00 Brick lane vintage shops window shopping

19:00 Soho Gymshark + shoe shopping + pictures at the Soho Life Four Cuts photobooth

19:30 Dinner at Kanishka Soho

21:00 Humble Crumble at Covent Garden

22:00 Drinks at a pub

24:00 Back to AirBnb

Checkout Sunday

08:30 Wakeup

09:30 Checkout Airbnb

10:00 Full English breakfast near

11:00 Say good bye at Tottenham Court Station!!

From this experience, I am, number one, so grateful to the classmate who inspired me to ask my boyfriend to come here. Also, it was so fun to visit the city with my number one person, and every hour was super precious. We also got such pretty photos from the photobooth, which I can't share here, but I highly recommend going when you're in soho! Lastly, I'm so grateful to my boyfriend, who was down to share such a wonderful experience with me! This weekend was so amazing, I wish to remember it forever!!!

[looosey]

Literary London: English Things to try in England

As an American, I have compiled some foods I have seen I must try while being in London!

Welsh Cake

Haggis

Whiskey

Chelsea Bun

Parmo

Cumberland Sausage

Cornish Pasty

Yorkshire Pudding

Fish and Chips

Sunday Roast

British-Indian Food

Chicken shops

[looosey]

Literary London: A Brief History of Britain

Literary London is a month intensive on all of English (english meaning british) literature, and I thought that I would've benefitted from a better historical understanding of the place first and foremost. Because I suggested it myself, this journal entry will be my notes on the youtube video: "History of Britain in 20 Minutes" by A.J. Merrick. Feel free to follow along!

UK: England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland

2500 BCE pre-Celtic Beaker Culture (ceramics), Stonehenge calendar

500 BCE Celtic tribes from the continent come and spread over entire island

40 CE Romans invade England and Wales and establish "Caledonia," and add "Britannia" to Roman Empire

410 CE, Romans leave and Germanic tribes (Anglos, Saxons, etc) invade and establish seven kingdoms

800 CE: battles and break up the kingdom + Vikings come and conquer, and battle and conquer

900 CE: Anglo-saxons beat the last of Vikings and establish first king

1000 CE: Danish briefly takeover (Norse language), then the Welsh Kingdom takes over, but Welsh king was killed

1066 CE: Battle of Hastings

1100 CE: Henry the II starts beef with france

1200 CE: Magna Carta, even the king are subject to the law

1300 CE: Scotland struggles but maintains independence, scotland king becomes ruler of france?

1300 CE: Britain claims france in 100 years war?

1377 CE: King Edward dies and House of York and Lancaster beef for the throne

1450 CE: War of roses between the two houses

1480 CE: Tudor England,

1530 CE: Henry VIII splits with the church for his Divorce, gave Wales representation, controls some of Ireland, kills 100s of people in paranoia

1580 CE: During Queen Elizabeth I's rule, the most powerful kingdom is Spanish Kingdom, and Spanish and England start battling, William Shakespeare is born

1603 CE: James I of England from Scotland takes over after Elizabeth dies

1607 CE: Jamestown, and other colonies, and start of Translantic Slave trade (for three hundred years)

1640 CE: Charles I, Ireland land just given to rich owners, English Civil War, Charles is killed and Oliver Cromwell dissolves monarchy

1645 CE: Charles II restores monarchy, wife introduces tea

1680 CE: Glorious Revolution, protestant William III invades and takes throne from unpopular catholic king James II

1700 CE: United Kingdom, union of England and Scotland, end of the House of Stuarts as King George I takes throne

1760 CE: Several European wars (War of Spanish Succession, 7 years), got more land in America, and debt (taxes the colonies)

1776 CE: American War of Independence

East Indian Company, high trade, and growing opium in Bengal

1770 CE: James Cooke colonizes Australia, sends convicts

1810 CE: Napoleon Bonaparte tries to invade Britain and fails

Victorian Era

1845 CE: potato famine in Ireland, which had joined England but were forced to export all they had

1860 CE: Revolt of workers in Company fail in India, thus England takes over the company at Queen Victoria's rule

Industrial Revolution: train, steam engine, telegraph, sewage

Education and industry company

Fish and Chips on the rise

1880 CE: Europeans try to divide Africa amongst themselves, and Britain uses concentration camps against the women and children in South African Dutch settlers who resisted

1914 CE: early player of First World War

1921 CE: height of English empire, and Ireland became free

1942 CE: Second World War II, Winston Churchill led to Allied victory, Alan Turing decoded scripts, India declared Independence (Mahatma Gandhi), Commonwealth of Nations for 53 members of the old colonized nations

1997 CE: Hong Kong was their last colony, returned to China

2016: 52% voted and left the European Union

[looosey]

London Theatre Review: Les Misérables (Sondheim Theatre)

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5)

Plot: It's the early 1800's in France, tens of years after the French Revolution during a time of economic hardship and opposition towards the monarchy. Jean Valjean was jailed for 20 years for stealing a piece of bread, in his youth. Upon a stranger's act of kindness is able to build a life for himself, he breaks the parole order upon he was released. He gets old and established, comes into contact with a poor young woman (a harlot) in the most unfortunate of circumstances. Promising to raise the child of the harlot as his own, he lives as the French Revolution unfolds, and the viewers get to watch as the characters decide what it is they're willing to die fighting for.

My thoughts:

Oh wow... standing ovation! Standing ovation! Applause, applause!!! Les Mis was the most incredible performance that I've watched live, maybe ever!

First of all, the acting and singing were incredible. Jean Valjean's full immersion into the character and Éponine's voice, so strong yet feminine, and the little boy, his cheekiness till the end. Many a times I got chills, with the hairs rising on my cheeks, and many more times I got moved, with tears pooling in my eyes. Oh wowwwwww....

The staging as well, the scene where the Inspector falls in the water, and how he moves into the projection of rising water behind him, is so genius. I was so moved by the songs themselves as well, I will be listening to "I Dreamed a Dream," "Do You Hear the People Sing?," as well as "On My Own" on rotation! At no point did I lose trust in the ability of the performers, they're program was so tight and rich.

"Master of the House," however, was my favorite scene in the musical! The innkeeper couple (that owns Corvette in her mother's absence) are the most hilarious characters, and every action they do is so perfectly scum-of-the-earth greedy and hateful. However, far from just serving as a comedic relief, they are the underlying baseline of bad upon which rests the musical's discussion of good vs. bad people.

I found the main theme of this musical to be: an act of kindness is very powerful and can touch the hearts of both "evil" and "good" people, and through them spread more acts of kindness. For example, Jean Valjean is touched by the Priest's generosity even when he stole from the church, the harlot (Cosette's mom) is cornered to a desperate life of prostitution after bullied and fired from her previous job but dies in the care of Jean Valjean, Jean also takes care of Cosette and even goes into barricade to save her lover who in turn pledges to protect her forever. He is a propagator of good in his lifetime, ever since he was touched by the Priest.

And thus, the musical pushes its viewers to be more sympathetic of the poor and dishonorable (i.e. convicts and sex-workers), and to understand that difficult circumstances (both the law and other people) might push any good person to this state. Going back to the innkeeper couple, they remain constantly evil, deceptive thieves and nuisances to Jean Valjean throughout the musical, representing a force of evil that is perfectly comfortable in their evil ways, creating difficult circumstances for the people around them. In the words of J. Cole: don't save them, they don't wanna be saved.

In a completely selfish turn of thoughts, I must learn from the way this performance moved me, to take to my own performance directing in dance. In my very literal observations, I believe it is the character's immersion and acting, how realistic their response is to the plot: each line and stage action felt rooted in realism, like as if despite every line being sung, the production was never clouded by some writer or director's desire to make art. And second of all, I think the blocking was good at directing the view of the audience: up! Center! Everywhere! I think, it'll be key to think about where I want people to look.

In conclusion, this performance was super inspiring to me, and I recommend everyone go watch it as soon as possible!!!

[looosey]

#pbcore

Dog Owners Wearing Clothes Made From Their Pet’s Fur

[looosey]

London Theater Review: Giselle at London Coliseum (English National Ballet)

Spoiler Alert: I expose the plot but not the ending?

Plot: Giselle is a beautiful, well-loved peasant girl, who is wooed by a mysterious new stranger. He happens to be a prince, who is already engaged to another woman! In Act 1, this truth is revealed by another man from Giselle's village who loves her, which shocks her to death. Act 2, is a mystical magical second half, of lovely choreographed dancing of the nymph-like ghosts of women who died before they were wed. The lovers reunite in Giselle's ghost form, as she strives to protect their love.

My thoughts

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ (3.5/5)

The beginning dragged, with relatively little dancing, and mostly silent gesturing, which I suppose is acting, but perhaps I am not cultured enough to be entertained by such. I sleepily missed most of the first 20 minutes of plot. Giselle was elegant and graceful, and Oriana and I silently screamed like little girls at the Prince and Giselle's first meeting: as they did their hesitant dance of the first touch.

I thought the second half was magnificent though. The perfect formation of the ghost girls, and the movement of their formations. The powerful moves of the ballerino, as seen in the airtime of his jumps and the speed of his spins and twirls. I think ballet dance for me is much more entertaining if it leans into the sheer strength and athleticism of the dancer, making it closer to contemporary dance. Additionally there were some clever ideas, such as the freezing of dancers to indicate the stopping of time, that I thought were inspiring.

[looosey]

London Theater Review: Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club (Playhouse Theatre)

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ (3/5)

First, the production house was excellent at building up the atmosphere even before the show, with a glittery underground entrance, shots of alcohol, and dancers at the lobby. The MC character, pictured above, was an absolutely incredible entertainer, and the plot moved along quickly. The kit kat dances scenes were lewd at times but exactly what the audience came for, in fact, I was shocked at how little dirty dancing there was in the show.

Spoiler alert: I semi-reveal the plot!

The plot itself follows an American(!!) novelist who moves to Berlin in the early twentieth century, in search for a story. Falls in love with a young female dancer from the Kit Kat Club in Berlin, which is at the time of writing and adaptation this musical in the 50s-60s was totally fictional! [1] Act 1 is celebrates the hedonism and carefree joy of Berlin and the subsequent weakness in the face of temptation seen from the main characters. A shocking twist is revealed, and Act 2 is a drop in temperature, grey suits in complete orchestrated order: inspiring me in terms of staging and blocking a dance piece.

Walking home, I was totally exhausted, listening half-heartedly to Oriana wonder out loud what it was that made the whole shebang slightly underwhelming. With a good nights sleep I thought it over. I don't personally find the plot twist cheap--I think they properly got me, as I had enough historical hints along the way for what was coming. Instead, I feel that the character of Sally, I didn't not feel enough sympathy for, and when she aborted the baby saying it would be a sad life for the baby to know their parents only stayed together for the baby's conception, I believed her, but also I don't think that was truly her only reason for turning back to Berlin.

Additionally, the sudden and complete death of the Kit Kat club and all of its dancers, without any knowledge of how it died or breathed in secret made the story feel incomplete. All in all, the musical left something more to be desired plot-wise. Additionally, I had held my expectations way too high for the dance aspect, as a dancer myself. I had expected to learn something from the performers of London, but thought that the stage presence was the saving grace, best of whom was the MC, and the choreographed sections themselves were okay: the timing was good, but the moves and lines of their arms and legs were not precise made clear when they got to the waacking section. I just know a Los Angeles production of just the dance parts (I cannot promise the German accents) would eat down. But here in London I would have to wait for Giselle, the ballet, to satiate my dance hunger.

[1] Since the musicals first runs on Broadway in 1966, two Berliners established a physical sex-positive nightclub called KitKatClub in 1994. Now famous.

[looosey]

Literary London: the Modern Life of a Socialite pt. 2

A non-fiction piece.

Reading Mrs. Dalloway was very relevant for my travels here in London, a city full of luxurious temptations that would treat my wallet quite poorly. Mrs. Dalloway is a book about a woman, born into a plain middleclass upbringing, who marries into a high social class, and loves the lifestyle. The whole book follows a day in her life, as she is throwing Her party, where everyone will have no choice but to see how Born-to-Be-a-Wonderful-Host she is.

In Korean there is a slang that would be used to call this set of symptoms: 된장녀 (doen-jang-nyeo), a pejorative neologism for a girl who desires, buys, and flaunts luxury items, without the means to pay for it herself (hence the connection with "gold diggers"). The wikipedia definition goes further to say, she will often pinch pennies on basics in order to afford "conspicuous luxuries." I might just be a 된장녀, which is concerning! I have to remind myself that I am living in London for a month, and cannot spend like I'm on vacation for a week every week, or else I'll have to find work first thing when I return to campus!

To explain my first point about Mrs. Dalloway relevance to today, I argue that if born in my generation, Mrs. Dalloway would've been an influencer to a whole market of TikTok viewers: "how to attract provider men," "how to manifest your dream life," "how to build an elegant Instagram feed," "how to look expensive (cheap and affordable!)." More relevant to me, Mrs. Dalloway represents a desire for seeing and having nice things, and mingling with important people, which is viewed by other characters in the book as snobbish and out of touch with the reality of the general population.

Being in Soho, Covent Garden, Piccadilly, and many markets, and seeing marble statues, gold stitching on historical fabrics, the glittering diamonds of the crown jewels, the neurons in this same greedy part of my brain fires so much more often. This journal entry will be dedicated to all of the luxuries, London specific, that have tempted me successfully. This is a slightly shameful haul.

1. Coffee

I am addicted, and I have one a day, either at home or at a cafe or both. The alternative milk here is at no additional cost, which makes everything come out to about 3.8 pounds on average for a flat white! This is a steal, in comparison to American coffee spots! Or so I tell myself.

2. Nice Dinners

Namaaste Kitchen ⭐⭐⭐ (2.5/5)

Dishoom ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5)

Ukiyo Handroll Bar ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5)

Blacklock ⭐⭐⭐⭐(4/5)

Kanishka ⭐⭐⭐⭐(4.5/5)

3. Fancy Dresses

OddMuse: These are beautiful dresses, more expensive than any dress I own, but made out of cheap synthetic fabric. They have a beautiful chic storefront in Covent Garden, and I'm still on the fence about whether I will return these!!

4. 100% Wool

So the wool coat was a purchase I made for my own Christmas gift, on 40% off at Aritizia before I left for London. Was the three piece suit necessary? It might have to be the suit I wear to my own wedding at this point.

5. Afternoon Tea, English Breakfast

Clotted cream is delicious. Scones are in fact dry, but with cream and jam are delicious. Finger sandwiches are delicious. Blood sausages are okay. Those scrambled eggs are delicious. Flat whites are delicious.

6. Performances

From Left to Right: The Kit Kat Cabaret, Giselle, Les Misérables

I was checked hard when I watched Les Misérables and was reminded of the power of money to blind those who are wealthy to the pains of the rest of the world. And even without watching Les Mis, at the end of the day, my reality check comes in the form of a hefty credit bill and no presents for most of the people I care about, and no financial plan saved for some of the more important projects I have coming up soon. So with this, my Mrs. Dalloway lifestyle will have to come to an end.

[looosey]

Literary London: the Modern Life of a Socialite pt. 1

A fictional piece.

socialite -- n. someone, usually of high social class, who is famous for going to a lot of parties and social events (Cambridge Dictionary)

If I were to throw a party tonight and invite all the people I know... Actually, scratch that! In the spirit of Mrs. Dalloway, if I were to invite all the people I know that are relatively cool, I would make it a dressy party: Come in your heels and with your suit jackets, but leave both at the door, because this is still a Korean household, in this large modern flat, this penthouse in Soho. I'd serve Aperol Spritz and Banana Makgeoli and ice cold Margaritas at the bar. Keep the alcohol flowing! There would be a friend of mine DJing, transitioning from hip hop to pop to techno and back to hip hop again. There would be edible conversation starters available at different corners of the room, relics of my past. How delicious are these Australian sausage sizzlers, did they not have hot dog breads and whats with the barbeque sauce instead of ketchup? Yum, I love kimbap, of course she would have this korean staple at a party of hers. There would be a station, featuring a Barista-grade Breville espresso machine, where you could receive an espresso shot and try your hand at latte art. Only, you could only capture your art in memory or the disposable film cameras handed out early in the night. Phones would be turned in at the door with your shoes and coat. And such, you could only realize how disheveled you looked after hours of dancing and mingling once the film were sent off to be developed: there were no mirrors anywhere, not even the bathroom.

And the center of the room was cleared off, except for the circle of dancers that congregated in dim lighting, bolstered by a friend of mine who has agreed to MC a casual freestyle battle, mainly there to push forward the more hesitant female dancers in the male-dominated sport. Yes, in fact, for this party I would have kept a ratio in mind of women and men (80-20), where the 20% are clear allies to women and can be unanimously be spoken for by all his friends including myself. The guests all vary in age, for many are my peers, aged around thirty years old, and others are in their sixties--established as a cool mentor, young at heart. Some of the guests tonight have flown into town just for the purpose--dancers from the West Coast, young artists from Korea, and academics from Oxford--of appreciating the company they know I keep. Their invitation had arrived to them in a book, a slip of paper hidden between the 71st and 72nd page of Mrs. Dalloway several months before tonight. And such was the final barrier to entry--a literal literary one.

And what about the socializing? If you are sick of dancing, fear no more. At the corner of the room, there is a wall for those who are inclined to museum style exhibitions. One item each guest has brung that makes them happy, their happy thing, next to a short identifiable description of what they are wearing today. I for one might be wearing a silk dress by Versace today. Surrounded by the people I enjoy most, I would be happy if I died today, at this party that I am holding.

[looosey]

Literary London: the Artist and the Muse

For Christmas this year, my boyfriend got me a mini, portable water color set, and sketchbook. And thus, I have this goal of going outside and doing art. Although I have not yet ventured into the many parks around me to do a watercolor still, it seems a bit too cold for that still, I made it a more general goal to do more art here. This is also in part inspired by something Prof. Henderson said in our introductory meeting at MIT: to enjoy our month being immersed by the HASSes (i.e. humanities, arts, and social sciences).

With all of our after class outings to the Victoria & Albert Museum, the National Portrait Gallery, the Guildhall museum, the British Museum, and even churches like Westminster Abbey and all its sculptures, I am drinking my fill in all things art, artists, muses, and patronage. Here are some of my favorite things I've seen.

Left: Westminster Abbey's sublime hallway (1269), lined on every surface with magnificent marble sculptures and inscriptions

Middle: Exquisite Pain (2006) by Damien Hurst, a terrifying anatomically correct looking sculpture of a man who was damned by Apollo to skin himself, located in the Church of St Bartholomew (1123)

Right: The Coronation Portrait of Queen Elizabeth I (1600), in the National Portrait Gallery

Some things I drew during these visits or during class.

Left: Petrarch

Right: Sketched in class in 3 minutes, because he labeled himself as the Poet Laureate, which is the energy I'm trying to bring to 2025.

Left: Cast of Matteo Civitalli's Angel (1496) in the V&A

Right: Sketched in person in about 20 minutes Procreate

Left: Venus, Marble from Rome, AD 1-200, in the British Museum

Right: Sketched in pencil in about 30 minutes from the photo image.

The sketch of Venus is an improvement from the previous two, because I realized shadows make art so much more interesting. Additionally, I wanted to draw Aphrodite/Venus, because "ideal beauty" is so interesting to me, as a Korean.

However, Venus is also the goddess of sex, and in the Hellenistic period exhibit in the British museum, I noted that the display talked about how erotic art was central to the time period. Adowyn was with me, so I wondered out loud if it was because everyone was walking around half naked. Post Garden of Eve. Recently, I walked into the Foyles bookstore, and was randomly flipping through books in the fiction section looking for contemporary books based in London, and I swear every book I picked up I landed on an erotic scene! Which led me to think that perhaps, the UK more so than the US, had normalized and found artistic inspiration in sex within realistic fiction literature!

As I wrote in my discussion post, I am curious about the driving force of artists, which led me to do my case study on Tyler the Creator. I'll finish this blog post with a screenshot of one of our very first readings this month: In an Artist's Studio by Christina Rossetti, which depicts a male artist who creates multiple art works, but it is just one ideal female muse in many forms that fuels his art. The eroticism of ancient roman sculptures and modern English literature reminded me of this poem, and makes me wonder if art might be so much easier if I stay close to primal human instincts.

Above: In an Artist's Studio (1856) screenshotted from my GoodNotes file

[looosey]

Literary London: Camden

As I emerged from the Underground, or tube, as the subways are called here in the UK, at Camden Town station, I noticed the urbanity and grunginess of the streets around me. Grey concrete, grey skies, the grey smell of dank mildew and the yellow acrid whiffs of urine. Amelie and I were in the middle of a busy-ish intersection, where all the buildings were squat, three story max, and inhabited by stores, restaurants, and tourist shops of varying decay. Noticeably there were multiple Blank Street coffees, which were all clean and new near the station, just like the one near the Harvard Square station in Boston. A sign of familiarity and civilization, which was comforting because I was off to a rough start here in London: my bags had been delayed with British Airlines due to a mistake I made in my connecting flight!

We checked into our apartment for the month, which was extremely luxurious and minimalistic, and a stark contrast from the colorful, expressive graffiti all over the lock and waterway. It has a huge beautiful living room, with a balcony, and a nicely stocked gym in the basement.

After getting groceries at the nearby grocery store Sainsbury, which was surprisingly cheap (40 pounds for a weeks worth of salads), I sat down with my laptop, determined to get a grasp of the geography around me.

As you can see, the Northern Line is key to my geographical landscape, and gets us all the way into the heart of London, where I get off at Tottenham Court Road or Leicester ("lester") Square.

Since I've got here, I've noted that we are a breath away from Camden Markets, which is mostly food and fashion stores, the most interesting of which to me was a burlesque costume store (so niche!). The streets around us thus become super crowded on the weekends. The food vendors in Hawley Wharf and Camden Market itself are eager to lure customers, and they do so by handing out toothpicks of fried chicken, chocolate covered strawberries and polish sausages. Apparently, and I found this out today, all the food becomes half off, thirty minutes before closing! Also, a Buns from Home has just opened right next to our place, which sells amazing cinnamon buns.

When I looked into the history of the place, I found that Camden Town was established in 1791 as a residential area [1], and only became somewhat populous in 1820 after the opening of Regent's Canal. In our class's readings of "Charles Dickens's London," we can see that this makes Charles Dickens's family one of the earliest residents of Camden Town! Inspired by his childhood street in Camden, the author wrote in his fictional book Dombey and Son about "a little row of houses, with little squalid patches of ground before them, fenced off with old doors, barrel staves, scraps of tarpaulin, and dead bushes" (1848).

Although I am just a visitor to this place, I see Camden now in the 21st century as: many rows of short brick buildings, residents living on top of and around the central hub of stores with printed signs, pubs, chicken shops, kebab stores, and shops selling shirts like "I am a bitch, and I'm back" and "my girlfriend went to london, and all she got for me was this stupid shirt" (2025).

[1] https://www.camden.gov.uk/camdens-history

[looosey]

My head is about to burst

This morning I was listening to a podcast about being the middle child [The Psychology of your 20s | Podcast on Spotify], and it said something about becoming a young adult and learning to parent yourself, and to tell yourself the things you wish you heard growing up. One example of that was to praise yourself for a job well done, when you did something well.

Tuesday, I was talking to a mentor figure in my life about my qualms with working just a software job forever. Why? Code does not nourish my soul. And I asked rhetorically, does this mean I'm just going to code forever? With real desperation. And he immediately said, no I don't think so, you'll find a way. So quickly, and I felt so relieved from that. I should go back and really think about what parts of my soul are malnourished from a career built upon coding. What part of the day to day, and what part of my long term?

Reminded me of an office hour I had with another potential mentor figure, on Monday. Both of these are professors at mit by the way. And she was encouraging me to explore media studies while I was here at MIT. However, when I expressed my concerns about stability and finances, she mentioned something about a horizontal shift. Vertically scale in tech/building/shipping skills, and horizontally shift into creative decisions.

On Wednesday, I met with my first professor again, and brought him to my workplace and showed him my joint. When I asked him later, what do you think? He brought up many points that had been looming in my head from the media studies perspective that I hadn't applied to my technical job. Think from all sides, he mentioned. I was in a way shocked, because in my life at this point, it's really just as easy to find someone without a moral compass in their personal lives as one with one, maybe because we are so young and drinking from the firehose, and he was here pushing me to view my workplace with one in a very nuanced and not supremely obvious way.

In general, I think this is a direction that keeps my soul nourished, and my work in touch with humanity. And human centricity. So for this, I am grateful to have had this experience.

[looosey]

My Day Centering Humans and Meeting Min Jin Lee

Written Mon 10/28/24

Today.... was a crazy day. I think so much happened that I just need to recount it all for future me.

Mid September

Literally over a month ago, I filled out a purple default google form with my information indicating interest in being part of the student Q&A for nobody other than one of my favorite authors of all time. How could this precious opportunity just be a first come first serve basis?

Wednesday, Oct 23

Impatient with over a month of silence, I emailed the Korean professor who sent out the email, and got a response to email the actual organizer. The firehose hit me before I got a chance to follow through.

Friday, Oct 25

Then magically on Friday, I got an email telling me I got off the waitlist to be a part of the Q&A on Monday (today).

Monday, Oct 28

9 a.m.

It was so fucking cold today. This morning I walked over to the Central Square bookstore in my new leather jacket (a la @park-haena), crisp 100% cotton white t-shirt and my mom's blue jeans, italian leather boots (2 in heels), beret hat, and leather gloves. Only to see an active film set and sympathetic looks from the set staff that the store was closed. I walked another 20 minutes to the Harvard book store and was told there that She had come in yesterday and bought out her collection. Here, I learned the power of calling ahead. I was late to media studies and I had skipped all last week so I hauled ass to the T to Kendall and booked it to class.

10:15 a.m.

During Media Studies, we were talking about the difference between supervised and unsupervised machine learning. And the last mile of AI/AGI development, and the human's role in teaching the AI how to do their own jobs. Our activity was using the webcam to train an interactive image classification model, a cool gizmo published by Google. Some times I am so saddened by how much computer science I have to think about in the media class I thought would be my respite. Other times, I am grateful to the class for giving me smaller respites of humanities questions in the field I have chosen to claim for myself.

I take a coffee break for longer than necessary, but in my defense, the coffee machine at the banana lounge brewed slowly and would be even slower for others if I took out the pot mid-brew. A freshman boy struck up a conversation with me, perhaps because I did my makeup today. I thought it was brave and very cute of him.

As class ended, I told my prof that the meeting time she suggested was good. She was so kind to write in a response to my previous assignment a small note of encouragement and support to continue pursuing media studies. I took her up on the offer to discuss more opportunities to engage with opportunities on campus!

11:30 a.m.

Boston is so expensive. A coffee and a croissant from Dunkin is as cheap and hearty as you can get near campus. So I got that right after class at the Stratton student center. Small cappuccino with half pump of pumpkin syrup and the ham and cheese croissant stuffer.

I settled in in the third floor wellbeing lounge and did an activity that I was reminded of in class. An AI chatbot, but with your future self, that was done in a research project that my LinkedIn friend worked on. Honestly, the hour I spent on that was actually quite disappointing. Probably because the LLM wasn't big enough, or wasn't trained on enough data, or wasn't fine-tuned with human feedback. But the advice 60-year-old Lucy provided was generic, and she didn't take into consideration the lengthy form responses I composed, totally misreading my personality.

That was sooo much more disappointing than it should've been, because I so deeply desire that connection with an elder and wiser being... but when your grandparents are dead and also so culturally different if they were alive, there are not really many options.

1 p.m.

I saw Her on the way into the room. She was dressed very stylish, and I know that because she was dressed like me, but better. Her leather black boots were unique. They were 4 inch heels but platform but narrow. Her jeans were straight and made her legs look so long. Her suit jacket was slim but not short and didn't try do that shit where it awkwardly peplums at the waist. She was wearing a white dress shirt but under another layer, to combat the cold: a cropped black knit vest or cardigan with a pattern that was neither old or trendy, but classic. Even her big gold hoops, were not circular and basic, but drooped elegantly. I didn't expect her to be so pretty.

I was early and so I walked in and claimed front center, surprised to see that the best two seats were taken by two girls I already knew over the past three years. They were nice enough to respond when I asked them questions, but it was clear that they were friends and Not Interested in being friends (with me). It was fine. Thinking about what I wanted to ask Her about Pachinko and Free Food For Millionaires, I was pre-occupied and basically shaking in my boots, so I texted Hanu for help. She responded immediately, which is rare, but in that moment I forgave her for every time she had not responded to me, because I actually really needed her then and I think she could sense that.

<the Q&A itself>

Her biggest advice was to talk to your peers. Which I thought was funny, because I tried, and LOL it was just ok.

She said many things that i expected. Geography means a lot to a person.

She said some things that i learned. To take away the sheer privilege of being at MIT. And to be Korean and do many things. Fill many roles in society. Where is the female Korean pilot?

She said some things that i was shaken by. Casey was not necessarily surrounded by bad men. Her first white boyfriend cheated with two sorority girls, but was that a sign he was a bad person? Or is that an innately human action? I don't understand the distinction.

She said she too was not always ready to be the best partner. She said as a writer, you should give each of your characters some patience and love. Hansu, might be her excetpion.

<the Keynote Talk>

I walked in and saw two girls I knew but were never that warm to me. I said hi, and we were cordial, and I said I"ll just sit behind you two. Rather just focus on the speaker today. And I scooted past an elder asian woman with the tiniest frame ever.

Then all the big wigs started mixing around in the front. Sally. Deans. Nobel laureates. Then one of my favorite professors walked in, and stopped by my row.

"do you know each other? I know you both from very different places." One influential talk later, I had lunch plans for Saturday with the korean lady next to me. And future plans for coffee with my professor.

Is it okay to ask a professor to pick their brains? Is it offensive?

Love people. Protect your peace. And walk down the path you actively choose.

[looosey]

Reviews

Summer Movie Rec Masterlist

If I Had Your Face

5/28/23 The Half of It

[looosey]

Projects

5/18/23 Class Listening Party

5/16/23 My First EP

[looosey]

Dance

I Love Dance

[looosey]

Tech

09/18/24 Education and the Fight for Control

07/29/24 Tech and the City

05/02/24 Meet Ferb (my GPT frien) + Seeing Sam Altman

10/22/23 Hireability

07/04/23 Best College App Advice 2023

05/29/23 Lucy's Main Quest #3: "Hey, shouldn't you be trying harder?"