lordzenos

[lordzenos]

My book on aromanticism and asexuality comes out in a month! Shout-out to my publishers for just... giving me free rein to ramble about:

How amatonormativity hurts absolutely everyone

Why there are so many nonbinary and gender non-conforming aspecs

Why asexual awareness is essential in pushing back against incel culture (because men and boys deserve to know that manhood is not defined by sexual desire or prowess)

Why coming out as aspec can be so incredibly complicated, espeically for aspecs of colour

Advice from aspecs on how to navigate sex and relationships as an ace and/or aro person

A really wonderful bunch of stories from aspecs on what their non-normative relationships and families look like, from queerplatonic partners to poly aspecs to best friends raising kids together

How refusing amatonormativity can help us fight the loneliness epidemic, by encouraging people not to retreat into two-person units and instead invest in multiple close relationships of every kind

What steps we need to take to challenge aspec discrimination in medicine and the law

Why all you aspec people out there are an indispensible, revolutionary force that helps us all explore and create new models of love, relationship and family

So uh please do check it out if you think it might be up your street (or just because it'd really, really annoy a certain children's author who's decided aphobia is the new big thing)

[lordzenos]

it’s time for another poll bc i’m curious about y’alls opinion… this time about food though

sorry if i didn’t get your favorite you could maybe just write them in the comments AKSKS

[lordzenos]

Made some friends today

[lordzenos]

you know what, fuck you *unkills your character*

[lordzenos]

Cats in tiny beds

[lordzenos]

I did not have parasocial relations with that man

[lordzenos]

me when i. me when i’m eepy. me when i. me. me when. when. when.

[lordzenos]

*holds you in my mouth perfectly safe between my sharp teeth bc i love you*

[lordzenos]

The one well-aged bit i don't think i can ever stop doing is "character name series surname".

[lordzenos]

One thing that has made me a much more well-adjusted person is a clip I once saw of Hank Green saying that anyone can be in amazing shape as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities.

(This is obviously a generalization that isn't true for everyone. But it is true for most people and I'm proceeding from there.)

This "top three priorities" framing has genuinely reduced my tendency toward jealousy and self-comparison a lot. Now when I feel envious of someone’s spotless, aesthetic home, I think to myself, “Having a spotless, aesthetic home is probably one of their top three priorities. It’s definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn’t expect my home to look like that.”

Or when I see an influencer with a body that takes a ton of work to maintain: “Maintaining that body is obviously one of her top three priorities, because it’s her livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I’m never going to prioritize my body like that.”

It also helps me to identify areas that I actually DO want to prioritize more. I realized in recent years that my envy for my friends who prioritized writing more than I did was NOT going away, so I started to prioritize writing more. (Not top three, but higher priority than it has been in the past.)

[lordzenos]

hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

[lordzenos]

I see this a lot in fics and I feel like I’m slowly going insane so

[lordzenos]

Just realised that "-ass", when used as a suffix, has the same meaning as "-esque". Gonna start using them interchangeably. Kafka-ass dystopia

[lordzenos]

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

[lordzenos]

I'M DOING MY FUCKING BEST, OKAY?! IT'S TIME FOR:

⭐"DOES THIS CHARACTER KNOW WHAT SEX IS?" THURSDAY⭐

THIS WEEK: ZENOS YAE GALVUS (FFXIV)

[lordzenos]

great, my post is in some sort of dungeon

[lordzenos]

So sadly the Slur Song has become too powerful and the shadowy powers that be have joined forces to stop it from charting

On the upside it means a whole panel of professional music industry executives had to sit there and awkwardly listen to the whole song which is hilarious