loric-garde - Tumblr blog

loric-garde · 5 years ago

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Welcome to Tumblr.

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loric-garde · 5 years ago

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Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle

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loric-garde · 5 years ago

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I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

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loric-garde · 5 years ago

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Hey, I'm sorry to post something like this, but it's really important.

My friend wants to kill herself, but I got her to make an agreement with me that if I make a post on here, that for every two notes, she'll put it off for one week

Please, help me out if you see this, I really need to keep her alive

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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i’m officially cancelling cringe culture. it’s over. go enjoy the things you like unabashedly and proudly because life is hard and sometimes things are just nice.

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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hot take i know its fun to joke about it because how school systems have treated us all poorly and made us out to believe that we are stupid but none of you are stupid. none of you are stupid. there are so many types of intelligence and just because yours isnt the one that lets you excel in a broken system that doesnt mean youre stupid

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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fuck your depression here’s what we’re doing

get out of your bed

clean up in every way you can think of (shower, floss, trim nails, face cleanser, everything, freshen yourself up to put it behind you)

go out in your favorite clothes and get air, go running if you can

Eat nutritious food, drink actual water, take your meds

Find the roots of your sadness and brainstorm solutions (and suicide is NEVER a solution. NEVER.)

listen to uplifting music (my playlist)

the project you’ve wanted to start or skill you’ve been wanting to learn, start working towards it today.

Remind yourself that you will make it past this and no matter what happens, you will be fine as long as you continue to push forward.

instead of writing a comment saying you can’t do these things, do these things

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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bi / pan people!!!!!!!!!!!

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.

DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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To my people

To you, the generation I grew up in, the people I surrounded myself with every day, the people who I don’t know but know are out there somewhere, this is to you.

To the boy curled up in bed who’s been taught by society that he must be a strong, masculine man who can’t cry in front of anyone, who has grown up suppressing so many tears and emotions that now he just feels so painfully numb even the blade in his hand can’t hurt him anymore.

To the girl sat on the floor of the shower, trying to scrape every last inch of her skin clean, who is scratching so much and so hard that she is ripping her skin off and bleeding. Trying to clean away the dirt that was forced upon her by a man who she said no to, by a man who she didn’t ask for nor want. But she is too afraid to speak up because of the limits that society has tied her to, because she knows that she was wearing a skirt and a crop top that night and that she had been drinking at a friends house.

To the kids who are sat aching on the floor of their bedrooms, who had their hearts broken and torn to pieces too early, who experienced heartbreak so prematurely that they will never fully recover. And the only sounds they will remember for years to come is the sounds of their favourite sad songs that they listened to on repeat as their broken heartstrings bled the the tears they held up. That they’ll never truly be able to swim because of the ocean of tears that they drowned themselves in.

To the friends who were a crutch for everyone, who listened and helped whenever they were called upon, but never had anyone there to help them themselves. The friends who were no more a third leg to stand on than a passing night cloud. Who helped everyone no matter what, and gave their best advice when on the inside they were dying themselves.

To the kids who tried their best to make everyone around them happy, who gave their everything to everyone just so they could see a smile on someone’s face, but were met with nothing more than hate and misconceptions. The kids who everyone thinks are rude and heartless, when in reality they’re the nicest people anyone could ask for. Who gave so much in the name of someone else’s happiness that they neglected they’re own, and are now filled with a bitter emptiness of lost hope and broken dreams.

To the people who have argued with who they are, who have tried to be someone they’re not and have tried to suppress their inner feelings because they are so scared of who they really are.

To the queer kids who have grown up being told that God is every kind of love except theirs, who have lost their sense of self and their sense of self worth, who are absolutely terrified that the love they are feeling will burn too bright and they’re bodies will be dragged down and lost in the flames of hell

To the minorities who feel like they will never truly belong in this world because no matter where they go there is always somebody waiting to discriminate against them.

To the people of colour who are terrified to walk down the street day or night incase they coincidentally match the description of a suspect of a break in from 2 days ago, incase a white supremacist turns the corner to see them, and their stone cold eyes stare straight into yours as they slowly pull a knife out of their pocket.

To the Latinx’s who are told each day to “go back to Mexico” despite the fact that you’re from Cuba, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, or just anywhere other than Mexico, because they fail to see that Mexico. Isn’t. The. Only. Country. To. Speak. Spanish. And that, this is your home.

To the children who grew up in silence, who sat in the still like statues daring not to make even the smallest of movements, with not so much as a breath falling from their mouths. Who grew up seeing fists instead of hugs, who grew up black and blue instead of colourful and happy. The kids who used to cover up with oversized jumpers and make up because the bruises were getting too frequent to be passed off as ‘just clumsy’. To the kids so terrified of the hand that would be laid across them if they stepped out of line that their lives became a tightrope of fear and paranoia, that they may never get to the end because the rope leads on forever even after they have grown up.

To the kids who barely made it through the education system even though they tried their hardest every single day, even though they worked as hard as they could and applied themselves in their all to everything they did. Who barely scrapped C’s when their effort was A* worthy. Who were told “you just didn’t try hard enough” even though their hands were bleeding ink from all the writing they had done, even though their eyes were red with pain because they hadn’t slept properly in weeks, even though their stomachs howled like the wind of a hurricane because they hadn’t eaten properly for days, because revision was more important their health.

To the children and teens who are scared to go to school every single day, terrified that it might be their last. The kids who will grow up knowing that they will never be able to see their best friend ever again, the kids who laid underneath a table as they watched the life drain out of their best friends once bright and happy eyes, knowing they’ll never be able to say “I love you” one last time.

To the friends who are terrified to watch their American friends go to school each day because they fear that one day they’ll never hear from them again, because the last sound they ever heard wasn’t the notification of your text but the detonation of a gun ricocheting through their ears as a bullet embedded itself into their body.

To the kids who walk the school halls each day pretending not to hear the abuse that’s shouted at them by their peers. The kids who cry in the shower because then their tears are invisible, because it makes it that little bit less real, because it makes the pain hurt that little bit less. Who walk into school each day void of any feeling, who have emptied themselves so they will feel nothing, because feeling nothing hurts less than the suffering they would be put through.

To the people who smile every day when all they want to do is cry, who say they’re fine when really they are anything but. Who walk each day like a victory when inside the war is still raging on, knowing that reinforcements are not coming.

To the LGBT+ people who have to hide in the closet, terrified to open the doors, because they know the world is so quick to judge but so slow to accept even when it is true love. The people who feel like they’ll never truly belong because they’ve learnt to hate themselves, because what they are is wrong and sinful, because they have to listen to homophobic comments every single day and pretend like they are something they’re not in the vain hope that maybe no one will see through the facade.

To my generation. To my people. My friends and my foes. My friends that I haven’t met yet and the people that I will never meet. The people that I don’t know but know are out there. I hear you. This world is a blacked up shade of fuckery, this world will take any shred of hope you have and crush it whilst you watch.

But to each and every one of you, you’re amazing. You face a different challenge every day, you break on the inside and still stand tall, you’ve learnt to fix yourself because no one else will. You are an inspiration! You may not now, but you will be proud of who you are one day, you will be proud of your personality, proud of your heritage, proud of your sexuality! You will not suffer in silence anymore. You are beautiful, smart, talented and funny! You are not worthless, you don’t need to hide. You have a purpose. You make this world a better place.

To anyone who needed this…

I’m proud of you.

______________________________________

July 27th 2018 - Finished. 16:11pm

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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going thru phone pics and found this thing that was tacked up next to the toaster at my old job, if anyone needs some light toast eating reading material

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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In case anyone is having a bad night:

Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found

Here are some fun sites

Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics

Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli

Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies

*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*

You’ll be okay, friend <3

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loric-garde · 6 years ago

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theatre kid actors reblog with a poor description of a past role you’ve played in the tags

#goth brat who tried to drug his sister #::::)

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loric-garde · 7 years ago

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7 depression tips and why they work, from someone who’s been hardcore depressed for two years

hi so im recovering from a really mean depression and there are some things i learned and that i would like to tell you.

1. you need to reappropriate your space and time. depression is lying to you and generally shrinks your living space (aka: you spend your time in bed/behind your computer/in your room…). visit and do something (even if its just scrolling down social media) in each room you have access to. expand your perception and space, you’ll breathe more easily.

2. plan depression outfits. a depression outfit is a comfy one you still can go out in. to me, it’s old ripped jeans and a turtleneck, my old work uniforms, sweaters. dressing up is one of the most important parts of managing depression. first of all, you’ll feel less like pathetic with proper clothes on (nothing worse than staying in your pj all day). secondly, and it’s a crucial point: it allows you to get out to run some errands. imagine you have to go grocery shopping or to the post office. if you’re in your unwashed pajamas you’ve been wearing for three days or more (been there done that) what you have to do is to undress, shower (if you can), and put on real, clean clothes. which is three things. depression messes wih one’s ability to start things, so it’s very likely you’ll drop your errands and just stay at home feeling like shit. but if you’re already wearing clothes, you just have to put on a coat and get out of the house. which is, trust me, 10 times easier than doing the whole dressing up thing.

3. it’s okay if you stay the whole day in bed but force yourself to get up in the morning (anytime before noon) and drink a glass of water/juice. again, depression messes up with your ability to start doing things, but if you concentrate your will to just get up and drink something before going back to bed, i promise you’ll feel less shitty and might actually end up getting up for good since you’ve been through the trouble of getting up. You’ll feel better (and also you need water!)

4. do one (1) physical, material thing that will improve your life conditions per day. aka: washing a single glass, scrubbing the mirror, etc. you’ll feel proud of yourself, and the tidiest your environment, the less shitty your brain will be. plus, again: if you manage to wash a single dish, maybe you’ll find yourself cleaning the whole kitchen without noticing. and thats a good thing. no pressure: just do one single thing. and don’t beat yourself up if you can’t, of course, but try, it’s gonna be better that way.

5. open the window (especially at night, i personally find it very soothing) and just… breathe fresh air, looking at the horizon or closing your eyes, and breathe in and out slowly. it’s great to take fresh air. bonus if you have anxiety/ptsd, honestly. opening the windows is one of the easiest ways i know to stop a panic attack.

6. brush your teeth everyday, even if it’s the only thing you manage to do. i know every depression guide recommends it, but it’s really important. not showering for a few days is okay, you’re not gonna get sick that way. but dental hygiene is capital. not to mention you’ll feel less rotting in the inside if you’re less rotting in the outside. you can use your phone to schedule your teeth brushing of the day! really helps.

7. think about your hobbies and force yourself to do something related to an old hobby of yours. i know it’s no fun. i know you can’t feel anything, so why bother? but really, do bother. do it and eventually as you recover it will be fun again. you haven’t lost your passion, your goals, your motivation. it’s still there, but depression is like a blanket that covers it all. forcing yourself to still act on your hobbies (especially if those are not screen-related: books, gardening, etc.) will help digging through the depression layers to expose your will to live again. trust me on this one. i really thought i was just an apathetic mess, but actually depression was just mean. i believe in you!

and finally: hold tight and it’s gonna be okay! recovery is possible, and it’s gonna arrive sooner than you expect. energy and motivation are good things and they’re still around here waiting for you!

feel free to add your own! you’re all gonna make it i promise.

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loric-garde · 7 years ago

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reasons to stay alive:

all the beautiful things waiting for me, when im no longer in agony and i already love me. the things that are meant to compensate the years of my suffering. the calm after the storm. the very feeling of having the chance to say, “i finally did it. im here. im glad im here.”

movies to be produced, technology and computers to be created, artworks to be made, and the mere existence of the future. will it be as technologic as i imagined it to be? i want to know. i want to see it myself

the delight and simple joy of seeing the sunrise; will it be as orange as yesterday? or will it be a little more pink? painting, taking snaps, and enjoying the scenery without having to worry about anything. the beauty of nature. i want to feel it every day.

the coming of the seasons. the smell of lavenders and sunflowers on spring. the ombré colors of the streets on autumn. the warmth of the summer sunshine. the coolness of snow on my winter skin. the concept of having to experience the cycle every year. the clothes i must wear on such. every little thing about everyday.

the pets i love. i wouldn’t want them to wake up and wonder where i am one day. i know what it’s like to be so alone in this place full of strangers. and i know it will break their hearts. the plants i keep. i dont want them to wilt and die bc nobody would water them miraculously as much as i do. i dont want them to lose themselves the way i lost me.

the books i haven’t read. the museums i haven’t been to. the songs i haven’t heard. the people i haven’t met. the simplest things that i haven’t done. i want to feel what it’s like to meet new things once again. i want to feel what it’s like to feel appreciated and to appreciate something one last time.

and the redemption. i want to be me again. i want to remember what it’s like to be me a few years ago. i want to wake up without groaning because i didn’t lose it last night. i just want to be new, to be reborn, to be beautiful one more time. and that will only happen if im alive. and that simple string of hope is what keeps me going. and i believe that simple string of hope will keep me breathing for the longest time. :)

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