lorisystem

[lorisystem]

So, as part of therapy, we're working on a set of semi-ironic wartime style PSAs for our own system.

The style and design is ironic, but the messaging is good, basically.

Except, our system is a small country and our frontrunners are basically the government, and hey, these are legitimate PSAs for emergency use (like when we're triggered). But, we're officially a constitutional representative anarchy (we just made that up just now), so it's semi-ironic.

This is the first one:

Anyway! Fun fun!

[lorisystem]

Passive alter influence is like.... I wanna go home. I'm yearning. I'm taken. I'm literally asexual. I wanna go to bed. If I even try to go to sleep I'll cry. I miss my friends. I hate you. No I don't. Where's our parents. I hate my parents. I'm yearning again.

[lorisystem]

Actually my coworker/ally kept saying she thinks my therapist is bad but i should get a new one. N i saw the psychologist of the work health thing (i work at a hospital so thats a thing i have access to) n i said to her i dont wanna be hospitalized bc im scared of hospitals (a propos of somth else) n she said aw why. N i said we both work at a hospital we know what goes on. N she said i worked in hospitals for 20 years and have met almost only caring, dedicated caretakers. Ok bitch idk what to tell you. My caretakers have yelled at me and strapped me down n invalidtaed me etc my whole life but I Am the common denominator. Also. In this hospital i have witnessed 2 separate cases of malpractice on two times i was in the hospital proper which must have happened like 10-15 times tops since ibeen working here. N another one time case of a doctor being rude and invalidating/uncaring to me once while i was the one being hospitalized. Im crazy im making this all up. Supposed to trust therapists how exactly? Whatever. (This was only at the hospital i work at while i had a normal routine operation and not a 'crazy in the head' hospitalization occurrence).

Also i broke up w my therapist n i tried telling her that what she said last time (that she considered killing a gay man although she was being hyperbolic) gave me a hard time n it was a mistake n i wont be seeing her again. So she apologized and started self blaming so im like im not blaming you i just think psychotherapys not for me n its nobodys fault just how it is but also im done blaming myself for the systems failings. She said ok but actually are you sure you didnt interpret what i said to which i said actually i dont wanna be having this conversation so heres the check and goodbye. N shes like this is so difficult for me i feel like i have failed. To which im like im not sure what to tell you. My goal wasnt to make you feel bad. But i have nothing else to say so im leaving so anyway. AITA

[lorisystem]

Also i broke up w my therapist n i tried telling her that what she said last time (that she considered killing a gay man although she was being hyperbolic) gave me a hard time n it was a mistake n i wont be seeing her again. So she apologized and started self blaming so im like im not blaming you i just think psychotherapys not for me n its nobodys fault just how it is but also im done blaming myself for the systems failings. She said ok but actually are you sure you didnt interpret what i said to which i said actually i dont wanna be having this conversation so heres the check and goodbye. N shes like this is so difficult for me i feel like i have failed. To which im like im not sure what to tell you. My goal wasnt to make you feel bad. But i have nothing else to say so im leaving so anyway. AITA

[lorisystem]

Undiagnosing but not chilling, actually a secret third thing. ^_^ i diagnose everyone else. I am everybodys problem. This societys the one fucked in the head n me along with the other sickos, we are reacting perfectly rationally given all that was and IS done to us right now. I am diagnosing this country (the one i have expertise on) and several others, with terminally fucked bitch disease, n its incurable, n the remedy is destroy all forms of government. Take ur fuckin prescription luv ^_^

[lorisystem]

She's just like me fr. When he made this song. They were so right. Mood mood mood

[lorisystem]

Love this. For us it was system to fictionkin pipeline lmfao

raise your hand if you were a part of the classic fictionkin to system pipeline

*raises hand*

[lorisystem]

I wanna have the prozac again so it makes me hypereuphoric again cuz at least im less of an active risk. At least thats how it went on it. I hate hypereuphoria but i hate it less than whatever this is

[lorisystem]

Dont wanna get an emergency appt w my doctor cuz shell have me institutionalized for sure. She said last time if it gets bad again shell have to do that. N i dont wanna. I will kill or injure while trying to escape so its for everyones greater good that i remain free. On the plus side the work medical department has a spot for this afternoon so i will tell it to a psychologist instead and hopefully ill act normal so she wont send me to psychiatric ER

[lorisystem]

Cant wait to be diagnosed with bipolar (or whatever else the hell) so i can tell i have bipolar psychosis (or whatever the hell) and have it used against me whenever i say something with that Newfound Lucidity

[lorisystem]

was going through some of my health records and some doctor put “dresses oddly” next to my psychotic symptoms. hey fuck you too man

[lorisystem]

so I wanted to articulate my thoughts with the whole system accountability thing and why headmate accountability works better for my system personally, but I'm experiencing art block so I'm bringing back 2011 to make a pmd sprite comic

[lorisystem]

Like i really hate cyclothymia n being unstable and cringe and alternating between zero inhibition and complete restriction n i hate hating and loving ppl turn by turn n i hate the duality of how i feel about everyone n holding grudges while not caring n i hate how stupid i look no matter which mood i am in n i hate never being able to make plans bc i never know if ill be able to pull through or not. Or having to deal with impulses i had while hypereuphoric. But also im reluctant to be put on mood stabilizers because its my personality. I actually love the way i am. I think i am quirky and cute and hot and based based based. It is the society that is wrong. I think also its so hot of my being cyclothymic n i wouldnt be suffering if everybodys didnt make it my problem all the time. I think its wrong and fucked up to medicalize my cyclothymia as if it needs to be cured but also if noone helps me i will enact divine vengeance on the world. So i will still go to my appointments..

[lorisystem]

people trip me out when they say shit like “oh i miss being 10 years old and not having problems” like the fuck you mean you didn’t have problems

[lorisystem]

sorry for expressing emotions incorrectly. having feelings was considered "acting out" when i was a kid

[lorisystem]

Is rlly so insulting when ppl praise my masking actually

[lorisystem]

Ppl are really always like awww i love u so much cuz ur so polite n so nice n so thoughtful n never express a need n always put others first. Like i wanna be a good person so thats hard when i realize ppl consider this a form of deception when is just my masking cuz i have to do this to receive care. (Like when the doctor told me u rlly dont wanna bother anyone huh when i was masking n it kinda perplexed me like. I have to be sincere about it too?? I literally couldnt care less if it bothers somebody i am doing this bc if i dont i dont get care).