lost-wanderer-2

[lost-wanderer-2]

They're always messing around

[lost-wanderer-2]

[lost-wanderer-2]

You say you love me but you do not know what you want?

You wanted us for five years!

Then one spouse shopping wench says they did not try hard enough when you were hurting, lonely, and alone. Oh right, NOT THERE for you.

No, that was ME! I was there!

But you cannot decide who you love! We have a family, not just a relationship!

And with one phone call ...

If not for our kids I would tell you to fuck off and never look back.

I am worth more than this. Our family is worth more than this. I hate this!

[lost-wanderer-2]

[lost-wanderer-2]

I wish my eyes would stop betraying my emotions. When will this stop? I want it to be done, to be numb, to be behind me.

No, I want to go back and NEVER put myself in this mess to begin with!

Why did I leap?

Why did I trust you?

What the zarla is wrong with me?

This pain is my fault. I let myself love you. I am a fool. Love always ends in pain. What was I thinking?

[lost-wanderer-2]

Zarla, I loved you ...

[lost-wanderer-2]

I do not know how to feel. I do not know what to do. If I turn it off, if I flip the switch, that is it. It is over.

Should it be?

Logic says yes. Society says yes.

My heart says no.

I am foolish. I am worth more than this.

But there is love, vows ...

I am fool to stay, I know that.

I hate this, I hate all of this!

My world was good, we were happy! Now... Now!!!

Now it hurts to breathe.

[lost-wanderer-2]

Sometimes you realise it much later that it wasn't you who wasn't enough, they just needed something entirely different in life.

[lost-wanderer-2]

[lost-wanderer-2]

I never wanted the world, I just wanted you.

[lost-wanderer-2]

You misjudged me.

You thought with a few hurtful words you could poison my feelings and get me to let go and walk away.

But I will not let you break your vows that easily.

You want to walk away? You have to let go. You have to accept that you are turning your back on us for no real reason except your own curiosity.

You will not be met with fights, screaming matches, or I hate yous. You will only find kindness, understanding and support.

Why?

Simple. I meant it when I said I love you and even if your choices force us into different paths in life, that love will not die.

I hold no I'll will. I only expect the truth, even when the truth simply needs more than I can give.

I love you. Today, tomorrow, always.

P.S. I love me most, and if you choose to leave then realize you miss us, you will find the path back to me is overgrown with thorns and is impassable.

[lost-wanderer-2]

[lost-wanderer-2]

You have to train your mind to be stronger than your feelings.

[lost-wanderer-2]

Don't come running back to me when you realize no one got you like i did.

[lost-wanderer-2]

i don’t understand why you had to do me like that. that shit replays in my head every single night. my heart aches thinking about the shit you did regarding how i would feel abt that. you knew it would hurt me but you did it anyway. i just can’t forget that.

[lost-wanderer-2]

[lost-wanderer-2]

Today is a difficult day.