lostandfem

[lostandfem]

TRAs listen to a TIF (that is visibly seen as hyperfeminine) with he/him in her tiktok bio as a ‘trans voice’ but will shut down detrans women who went through years of hormones and surgery because ‘they were never trans’ isnt it funny! how convenient! how a girl who hasn’t even touched hormones and surgery to be able to talk about the experience is prioritized as the transgender spokesperson! but a woman who actually has gone through it all and identified as trans for years is brushed off!! seems a bit off

[lostandfem]

One of the things that peaked me was the fact that whenever I searched the internet for physical exercises for trans "men" ("how to get broader back & chest ftm" "boxy silhouette exercises for female body"), the results were always like "just inject testosterone " or "book this surgery and that procedure", "ab implants, liposuction, injections", "don't bother exercising, it's impossible to achieve with a female body anyway. just take T bro". Any and all advice was centered around purchasable goods and procedures and fashion choices focused on hiding body.

Then, I got into lesbian fitness and realized that well over half the butches there were able to carve their bodies to look exactly the way that trans sites told me was impossible without testosterone injections. This was when I began to suspect that the tranny websites were bullshitting me.

[lostandfem]

Out of all the radfem/terf takes, the idea that trans women “hate women” is kinda the silliest.

Like “I hate women so much, I’m gonna become one, and destroy them from the inside! Muhuhaha!!!!”.

It’s like something out of a kids show lol

[lostandfem]

If genders are a social construct (and if that’s bad) why are we constructing more of them?

[lostandfem]

Hi, white women. This is a message for us!

We cannot keep using Black women’s pain as a teaching moment, or expecting them to carry the emotional weight of every “learning opportunity.

So this is your call-in:

Stop tone-policing Black women.

Stop centering your discomfort when racism is named.

Stop showing up only when you get credit.

And stop acting like solidarity is a badge and not a duty.

💡 Understand the Difference Between Allyship and Saviorism

Allyship is solidarity based on shared values and political goals, even if lived experiences differ.

White saviorism centers yourself and makes the oppressed group a backdrop for your own virtue.

🖤 1. Uplift, Don’t Override

Radical Black feminists aren’t new to the movement they are the movement. So:

Share Black radfem work directly: quote them, link to them, let them lead the thought.

If you're asked to speak, ask yourself: “Am I the right voice here?”

Example: Instead of “let me explain this issue Black women face,” say “here’s what [name] said, and she says it best.”

🤐 2. Sit With Being Uncomfortable

White feminists are often taught to center feelings over truth which leads to defensiveness when criticized:

Instead of “but I didn’t mean to,” try “you’re right, I didn’t see that, and I’ll reflect.”

Don’t interpret critique as attack. Interpret it as careful redirection.

Being called in is a gift. Saviorism reacts emotionally. Allyship listens and adjusts.

🧹 3. Do the Work in White Spaces

One of the most important things you can do is clean your own house:

Call out racist language, assumptions, or tokenization among other white feminists.

Don’t wait for Black women to “educate” step in and educate your peers.

Allyship isn’t just in mixed spaces it’s in all-white rooms, especially.

🤝 4. Follow, Don’t Lead

You’re not the protagonist. You’re the comrade. That means:

Let Black radfems define the priorities, the tone, the pace.

If you’re asked to help, say yes but ask how, don’t assume.

Do the tedious stuff too. Organizing, boosting, support roles not just the podium work.

🕊 5. Remember Your Role Is Temporary, Their Liberation Is Not

If your allyship disappears when it’s inconvenient? That was just performative.

Keep showing up when it’s boring, thankless, or not trendy.

Accept that you won’t always be seen as “one of the good ones” and that’s okay.

Liberation isn’t about you feeling good it’s about them being free.

TL;DR Version: Listen, uplift, de-center yourself, do the work in your own community, and stick around when no one’s watching.

If your allyship is just a pre-loaded “I’m not racist” get-out-of-jail-free card, then it’s not allyship at all it’s image maintenance. It’s:

🙃 Performance over substance

🤢 Guilt cosplay

😐 Weaponizing proximity to marginalized people as social capital

That kind of behavior isn’t neutral, it’s harmful. It makes genuine solidarity impossible, because it turns justice into a selfish defense mechanism.

We are not above this conversation. We are the reason it keeps needing to happen.

[lostandfem]

still up on his instagram too...

[lostandfem]

also genuinely why does that apply to cis women but not trans women? why can trans women talk about trans misogyny without people being like "wow it sounds like youre defining your womanhood with pain. are you sure youre not just a cis man who has a hard time accepting himself?"

a lot of TERFs sound a lot like trans/nonbinary people who have a hard time accepting themselves

[lostandfem]

hi everyone this is a side account I made on a whim. I thought that we do a lot of discourse on this side of Tumblr, and kinda in a similar vein to the radfemgoodnews acct, I thought id make a blog just about women made content or content about women. not always about feminism directly but something lighthearted for people to enjoy

im also taking icon recommendations I didnt know what to put lol

[lostandfem]

i

well I think that means I'd die

so im good

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[lostandfem]

😭😭

[lostandfem]

there was also discussion about pansexual being "hearts not parts", where you didnt really care about the sex of your partner, you just loved them for their personality. which... looking back might've been a precursor for the whole "genital fetish" idea. as if people attracted to someones sexed body cant love who the person is. also p biphobic considering that it sounds similar to the stereotype that bi people are promiscuous-- in this case implying that theyre fetishizers

Hey, I’m not a troll, I swear! I’m honestly just super confused about the difference between pansexual and bisexual. I’ve never seen a clear-cut definition that separates the two. Can someone help me out? Trying to understand, not argue.

[lostandfem]

i personally have only very rarely ever used tampons due to personal preference but I remember how friends used to tell me about how they felt it was making their cramps and overall period worse and i heard women talk about starting to use reusable cloth-pads and other alternatives and how much better it got for them - how their flow got weaker, their overall period got shorter and the pain was less

this is literally insane

[lostandfem]

Mother and child training longsword in Chile, at the Centro Esgrima Histórica

[lostandfem]

i simply do not respect 'non binary' people. You worked out that gender stereotypes are bullshit but all you took from it is 'i am a special interesting third thing, unlike all you boring peasants'

[lostandfem]

’Nobody is saying that sex isn’t real’

[lostandfem]

I think we as a society don't hate ads enough. We can always hate them more you know.

[lostandfem]

pharmaceutical companies after transpeople started saying that becoming a lifelong medical patient is the only way they can become their true selves