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[lovelmos]

Hi sweetheart

It’s me again

Thinking of you

Missing you

Hurts when I’m with you

Hurts when I’m without you

I dunno which is worse…

I only know I want you…

Can I come over please

I miss your smell

Your touch

Your kisses

I keep asking for one more

But I know there’s no end to my one more

I’ll always want one more

My love

[lovelmos]

Can I still call you baby😢

Just trying to catch you online, hoping that you’re thinking of me too

Still no luck

One more time

I can do this all day 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh baby…. Why does my heart beat for you so…

[lovelmos]

What would I give to hear you whisper I love you to me again…

[lovelmos]

Hi sweetheart…. I miss you

I want to feel your lips on my back, your arms wrapped around me and cupping my breasts…

To feel your heartbeat because you’re so close to me I can feel all the warmth….

But I know you don’t even look, you won’t let yourself

Because it was only me

And I still wonder why wasn’t I enough…. Even though I loved you so much…

[lovelmos]

I miss you

Do you miss me

Do you want me back

[lovelmos]

I miss you baby

Willing you to come back and fight for me

But I know you won’t

Cos you didn’t the first time

There’s no reason you will this time

[lovelmos]

Hi baby, I’m still missing you

Actually I don’t think I want to ever stop missing you

I wonder if you already started missing me less

[lovelmos]

I miss you sweetheart…

My heart hurts…

Are you getting ready to go off?

What’s the latest in trump news 🤣🤣

Enjoy your dinner baby

Although I know that you call all your dears baby, I also accept that now I’m the only baby

I wish you’d send me something

But I dunno what would come of it

Do you think that you could change and we could be happy together again?

[lovelmos]

This is the time of the day where I wouldn’t hear from you until 6.30 or so… so I guess we can say that afternoons are easier to bear for now

Thank God for small mercies

[lovelmos]

Soon you’ll forget about me and only think of me when our song comes on

And somehow that thought is so immensely sad that I feel a sharp pain my knee heart

[lovelmos]

12 July

I am just teetering back and forth and I’m so lost …

Am I doing the right thing or not!!!!!!

I miss you baby

I hope you are arranging a poker game with the boys.

I’m super selfish I know, but I wonder if you miss me too…

Thinking if you …

I cried all morning though…

My heart hurts so bad

I just want to call you, to hear your voice, to feel your arms around me again

I cannot understand why things have to be this way

Does the universe not know how much I love you? Why couldn’t things just work out.

And you’ll be happy and I’ll be happy

And we can hold hands when we’re old and wrinkly 🤣🤣

Ok ok better delete this before I send it off to you again…

Always in my heart, my baby…

My love

[lovelmos]

Finally I want to tell you I’m really upset that I now cannot listen to Madness without thinking of you. I love when you kiss me and I realised you just shaved for me. Every time you do the dishes I feel your love. I am going to miss thinking about what to cook for you. Your smile lights up my heart every time, especially when I’m feeling down. Every shower I think of you because of the smell of the shower foam.

[lovelmos]

Hurt feelings take time to heal. You want to fix things and move on. I understand your style and I also accept your fixes. We sorted the minor issues that you explained to me when we talked. I am so happy we managed to discuss and resolve those points. I accept and thank you and love you for taking the time to do that.

Believe me when I say I have tried to do it your way, after the hurt, and for one month I really tried. But I’m not you. I’m me. And I needed to handle this issue my way. I’m not trying to pick a fight with you, I am not digging up the past to use against you. What I need is to understand, an acknowledgment of the hurt I had been through, so that I can move on. Because I don’t understand why things happened the way they did, I keep thinking of so many reasons that most likely are not what’s happening.

So I reached out to you again. But you still didn’t understand what I was trying to do. When I tried again to talk to you, you became condescending, and you got upset and you told me to do whatever I like, and it hurt even more.

I love you so much and I miss you terribly. But you think that without your acknowledgment, my feelings should be settled because you said the line I wanted you to say, and only after I had to ask for it so many times. How I wish I could wave a wand and help you see what I am trying to show you and how to get through this hump. I just need to understand and the way to do it is to talk it out. When we talk, the more clarity I will get. But you are not me, so I have to accept that you don’t understand. I am trying so hard and I can see that it’s just as hard for you to understand me too.

I’m not angry, I’m so immensely sad. You feel hurt by me too, I know. I tried to explain to you that I wanted to heal but I also cannot understand why you are unable give me the way and time to heal. Wished so hard you would, and I am still wishing… I miss you so so much… every time the phone lights up I keep thinking it’s you.

[lovelmos]

Today is a sad day again. Going over and over but we couldn’t find a compromise

In the end he asked me why am I leaving him

Because I told him what I needed but he couldn’t give it to me

One last hug, one last kiss, one last time laying beside him. We did it all.

[lovelmos]

The same event. My birthday. One year later it’s so different from the year before. It’s the end of the end… the time has come

I have not slept well for a month since I came across it. And when I asked for reassurance, do you still miss her, I got so much more that I didn’t ask for, confirming your love for her and a berating.

I even apologised to you… because I love you and I didn’t want you to be upset. But I was upset and you said nothing to make me feel better. Not one word of the reassurance I sought. Everything swept under the carpet? I don’t function that way.

I thought about it every night for a month.

I will not share your heart

I do not want parallel lives

I communicate too differently from you

The end of the end

Today I cried all day… I have not cried since Ah Hock that was 11 years ago

[lovelmos]

Someday I’ll know why Samson loved Delilah

[lovelmos]

Asked for an updated picture and he wanted to include the dinner he cooked for me 🤣🤣

4 April 2021 it’s almost a year since we connected on the app