loverseon - Tumblr blog

loverseon · 1 year

Text

20 DAYS BEFORE HEAVEN — l. hs

⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* — news reached your school that a boy in your class has passed away and the last thing expected was for the the reaper to show up inside your room and make a bargain with you. He gives you the chance to go back 20 days to save a boy you barely knew under one condition. the question is, would you do it despite the danger?

⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* genre(s) — highschool au, strangers to lovers, romance, angst, supernatural

⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* warning(s) — profanity, suicide, internalising disorders, bullying, sexual assault, victim blaming

⋆*✩⑅◡̈⃝* wc. : 15k+

— dont forget to reblog, like, and comment about what you thought abt the fic!! lastly, thank u so so much to our dearest best girl, sei who made this banner for me !! you will forever be remembered ♡ teaser

OCTOBER 15 ༉༊

Ever since you were a mere infant, you loved the rain. Being brought into the world in the rainy month of June, all your birthdays were greeted by a storm. When you were eight years old, you and your parents decided to go to the theme park for your birthday. However, your plans for outside fun were soon soiled when the rain started pouring the second you'd entered the premises.

Instead of being dejected, you were ecstatic. With a wide smile coated across your porcelain childlike face, you ran into the pouring rain with open arms, not giving a single fuck about your hair, clothes, or shoes getting wet nor soggy. In the background, you could hear your parents yelling at you to go back and take shelter, but you tuned them out, in love with the feeling of rain dropping against your skin.

The next day, you woke up with a boiling hot fever. Snot was dripping from your nose, reaching your lips. Being the curiosity filled child that you were, your tongue darted up to taste it, pleased to say that you weren't disgusted by the taste but never willing to admit doing the action in front of anyone. Along that was a pounding headache and a series of sneezes but you didn't regret your actions, not one bit.

Years have gone by and sure, people change. You can say that you have for sure. You've grown taller and quieter. Though, you're still you. The same girl who loved to become one with the rain.

It rarely rained on the city of Seoul but either way, whenever it would, you'd be overjoyed. They say that if the sunny day is excitement, then a cloudy day is a well-earned chance to rest your eyes and cleanse your soul. It's a chance to daydream and breathe in a calm, reflective mood. Those very words expressed how you viewed the much-hated weather.

But today, the sky seemed as if it was sobbing— an overcast day if you would. The clouds were darker, more terrifying compared to the bright and shining ones you would see every other day in the city whenever the year would soon end.

The rain pooled on the ground, creating muddy puddles as you walked towards your school building. A striking yellow umbrella in one hand, protecting you from the droplets of rain while the other hand grips your jacket tighter, trying to obtain more warmth.

Stepping inside the building, you shake your umbrella, trying to get rid of the water that clung to it. The water detaches itself from your umbrella, lightly sprinkling everywhere. After, you put it somewhere inside of your locker where you were sure none of your papers would get soaked.

For some odd reason, as you walk down the hallway towards your classroom, you can't help the heavy feeling that's weighing on your chest. You wonder, was there a possibility you missed something? Did you have homework that you forgot to bring? Was there supposed to be a quiz today and you didn't study? No, none of those could've been it. Being the honor student that you were meant you had to be ahead of every lecture, assignment, project, and anything that correlated to your academics and you did just that. You always carry with you a planner that holds all your schedules and work deadlines so that you could rest assured that you never missed anything.

Loud chatter fills your ears as you step inside your classroom. Some of your classmates sat atop of their desks while the others stood up as they huddled up with one another, gossiping, you assumed. You lay your belongings on top of your table, taking a seat beside the window so you could look out and watch as multiple students ran to enter the school gates, practically drenched by the rain with only their bags to shelter them from the pouring rain. A few more minutes pass and you finally hear the school bell ring, signaling that classes were starting.

Your classmates hurry to resume their places back into their own seats, not wanting to be caught out of place by your advisor and have an earful early in the rainy morning. The chattering and the noises stop when your homeroom advisor enters the room with a somber look. She takes her eyeglasses off with a sigh, resting her palms on either side of her desk upfront.

She's tense, you could easily tell. It makes you wonder what had happened for her to act like that as you fix your gaze onto her completely. You're used to your advisor's usually bright and bubbly expression whenever she comes skipping inside the room so for her to turn like this means that something awful must've happened for her aura to stray so far from her usually energetic personality.

"Alright, guys. Can I have your attention please?" Your adviser calls out. All eyes fixate themselves on her figure, giving her the attention she wants as they wait for her to continue. "I have some very sad news that I need to share with all of you. Your classmate, Lee Heeseung," She sighs out as if merely speaking the boy's name is hard for her. "He... He won't be with us anymore."

A moment passes in silence before one of your classmates stands to speak up. "Huh?" He wonders. "Did Heeseung transfer?" He asks, voicing out your own thoughts.

"No," She answers, shaking her head "l hope that was the case." She whispers.

This time, a boy with strikingly white hair and pale skin raises his hands before standing up. This time you were familiar with him. His name, based on your recollection, is Park Sunghoon. Like your other classmates, you've never interacted with the boy. Thus meaning that you knew little to nothing about him. The only thing you could remember about him was his face and that he belonged to the same popular friend group as the boy in question, Lee Heeseung. "Then where is he? He didn't even bother telling us where he went and hyung never does that." He says.

"H-He... Uhm," Your adviser stutters before tightly closing her eyes, gripping the edges of her table even tighter to the point where her knuckles turned white and her nails dug into the wood. You can tell she's holding her tears back as much as she can. As to why, you're still not sure and you stay seated there, waiting to find out.

With a deep exhale, she finally continues. "Lee Heeseung won't be joining us anymore. Last night, the police found his dead body inside his apartment and that they've suspected that... that," Her voice breaks when she continues, saying, "He had overdosed on sleeping pills the night prior."

Time seemed to have passed and yet, no one dared to move in their seat when those words left your advisor's mouth. Your classmates looked shocked, faces showing disbelief at the news she had just dumped on them.

"W-what?" You hear one of your classmates ask. You remember his name being Jake.

Sim Jaeyun. Member of the soccer club and Lee Heeseungs closest friend.

You had seen the two boys bond with each other all around campus. Lee Heeseung and Sim Jaeyun were in the same class as you as well as some of their other friends but you've observed that the two were the closest to each other despite the latter being a year younger. Although Lee Heeseung was older, they had managed to form an incredible friendship that you envied, so truly envied.

You're no outcast per se, you just detested the company of people and prefered to be alone, wanting to focus on getting out of this hell hole than creating connections. However, even loners yearn for some company from time to time. You've just never bothered to scout for the right people that matched well with your personality.

Resuming, the poor boy is frozen in his seat, looking as if he was about to break down. Your eyes are trained on the way he clenches his fist into a ball with overwhelming amounts of force. It wouldn't be a shock to you if you see his hand bleed due to his nails digging into it.

"I'm sorry, Jaeyun." She apologises, her expression sad as she looks at the boy. "I wish it was a lie too but it's true, he's dead."

"Th-That can't be! We were just talking about what we were going to do for his bi—" All of a sudden, he stops talking. His eyes turn wide as if something had just dawned on him and his hand comes to cover his mouth in shock. You can see the boy's whole body start to tremble and you knew he going to break down into tears any minute now. Sim Jaeyuns chair screeches back as he runs out the room and your teacher does nothing to stop him, understanding that he was Lee Heeseungs closest friend and that this whole news is even more haunting for him.

You watch as all your classmates bow their heads down, a heavy feeling looming around the room as everyone mourns Lee Heeseungs death. Some even start crying in their seats; one of them being Jay, otherwise known as Park Jongseong, another one of Lee Heeseungs friends.

"Heeseungs family will be having his funeral tomorrow and... I hope you all can come." Your teacher says. "We won't be having any lessons for the entirety of this day and you can all go home early. We just want to give you all some time to mourn such a bright student's unfortunate death. Class dismissed."

Now, you've found the reason why the air was so gloomy and why the rain didn't seem to stop no matter how long it's been pouring. It was because the sky was crying, mourning the death of Lee Heeseung.

"Y/N? God, I just heard the news."

As soon as you step inside your home, your mom is there to envelop you in a warm hug. She places your head on her shoulder as she caresses the back of your hair— something your mother has always done when consoling you.

"I wasn't even that close with the guy." You say, words coming out automated as you assumed she was talking about the suicide announcement that your advisor had made not even an hour ago. "How did you find out anyway?"

"Mrs. Lee told me." She says, frowning afterwards. "Don't tell me you didn't know the Lees are our neighbors?"

Your expression is a dead giveaway that this is new news to you. You're never one to dwell on your mother's business since you had no interest in gossiping nor did you have time to with all the studying you were doing. However, it does come out as a surprise to you that Lee Heeseung lived close to you and yet, the two of you never seemed to have bumped into each other.

"Gosh, YN. You really should stop and listen in sometimes. I know I'm your mother and I'm supposed to be happy that my child is a genius but I don't want you to waste your youth." Again, she's frowning at you.

What's so bad about wanting to focus on school? It's not like being stupid will make a difference.

"It's fine mom. I'm okay." You assure.

"Nonsense. I'll tell you what, I'll go into the kitchen and make you some soup. You can go and take that upstairs. You're looking too thin these days." Once again, her motherly nature surfaces.

"Sure, Mom. That'd be nice." She smiles at you, feeling satisfied with your answer and afterwards scurrying into the kitchen to bring you some food to eat.

You lay down on your bed, staring at the blank ceiling of your bedroom. The chicken noodle soup your mom had made for you sat cold and untouched on top of your desk, making no move to eat it.

Lee Heeseung isn't a close friend of yours nor was he an acquaintance. He was just simply a boy in your class that seemed to have his life put together. From what you knew, the boy had excellent grades, powerful friendships, and skills that exceeded everybody's expectations.

He was a boy with a smile that could rival the suns.

You remember catching sight of him while he was talking with one of his friends. The other must've said something extremely funny because that day, you were graced to see the way Lee Heeseungs eyes crinkled in happiness, his nose scrunching in glee, and his teeth on full display as he laughed; his head thrown back and his protruding adam's apple bobbing every time he gulped while doubling over with laughter.

"That's all I knew of him." You lie.

But why was his death affecting your mood this much? Maybe because he was such a nice and talented boy that you saw it as a great shame he had to go so early.

Eventually, your mind wandered around why he did what he did. Granted, you knew nothing about the boy's personal life but you could only imagine how hard it was for him to push himself into committing such a horrific act.

He took his life.

Was it because behind that bright and perfect smile was a boy bearing a shattered soul? What drove him to do something like this?

You're a quiet person and you usually stay in your own company. You don't like big crowds and you loved it whenever it rained because it made you feel at peace whenever you listened to the way it pitter-pattered, drenching everything and anything blocking its way, but today, you just wished it stopped.

The rain reminds you too much of Lee Heeseung, the boy who took his life and the rain is making you feel restless.

You hope wherever he is right now, that he's finally at peace with himself. You hope that he's happy and that he can rest. Again, you never bothered to get close with anyone, meaning you never knew Lee Heeseung personally but you wish, for once, that you could have done something, anything, to change his mind.

OCTOBER 16 ༉༊

As you open your eyes to greet a new daydream, you immediately frown. The skies are so dark and bitter that you don't even notice that it's now morning. There's no sign of the bright warm sun on top of a blue horizon nor are there any white fluffy clouds covering the sky.

A storm is brewing and it's evident it'll hit your area soon.

Tempestuous, bleak, and angry.

The heavens are angry.

It's the next day but you didn't get a wink of sleep. You supposed it was because of the never-ending thoughts that flowed inside your head.

It may have been two days since Lee Heeseung died, assuming that he killed himself at the strike of twelve on his birthday. You still can't wrap your head around it nor can you stop wondering why it's affecting you so much.

Still, you begrudgingly get up from your bed. You look around and everything is the same spot it used to be and nothing has changed. Your books are still in the same place on top of the shelves, your cabinet is still open like how you left it, heck, even the wall clock that's been there for five years is standing strong. So why is it that you feel so lost?

Fuck Lee Heeseung.

"Can you stop occupying every single space in my brain for at least five minutes?"

The boy is dead yet he's bothering you even more than when he was alive.

You groan once you hear your bitter thoughts. Immediately, you realize how cruel you were being and you mutter a silent apology to the boy in heaven before falling back onto your bed.

A soft knock on your door catches your attention as your mom's head peeks through the space. "Darling, Are you awake?"

You sigh. "Yeah. I'm up, Mom." You reply dryly, feeling the symptoms of a headache brewing inside your head.

"Great. Get ready, we're going to Heeseungs in a few minutes."

Lee Heeseungs funeral was a poor sight to witness.

Everybody at the funeral was either crying, yelling out for the dead boy to come back, or had a sad look on their face. Bouquets of pretty and colourful flowers decorated the place and you wished you got the time to bring one for him too. There's also a huge chandelier hung in the middle of the room and rows of chairs adorned the place. At the front is a huge picture of the boy, smiling brightly like how you've mentioned before; lively and perfect. If only the casket holding his dead body wasn't there, then you might have smiled too.

The room was packed with Lee Heeseungs friends, relatives, and classmates. You even spot some of your teachers in the room as they pay their respects and you're not at all shocked when you see the school principal there either.

Your school principal is a fake, to say the least. You've watched him work and you've seen the way his face falls and scrunches in disgust when a person's back is turned to him. When he doesn't get his way, he manipulates people like the bastard he is just so he can get what he wants. You scowl as you watch him look into Lee Heeseungs casket, fake tears rolling down his cheek, continuing his act to seem like he cared for his students. You choose to ignore his presence for the time being because this night isn't about him, it's about Lee Heeseung and you intend to keep it that way.

A couple dressed in white stood at the front, right beside Lee Heeseungs coffin, catching your attention.

Trailing behind your mother, you follow as she walks towards the said couple, greeting them with a sad smile, proving the hunch you had that these people were Lee Heeseungs family.

"Hello, you must be YN. " The woman says, smiling fondly at you as she reaches for your hands, holding them inside hers and although her hands were cold due to the air-conditioned room, you let her. "Heeseung told us so much about you."

At her statement, you're only able to reply with a confused smile. This confuses you because as you recall, you've never had any sort of interaction with Lee Heeseung that'll leave him wanting to tell his parents about you. You weren't close friends, nor were you ex-friends. So why does it seem like his mother already knows a lot about you?

"Mom!"

Suddenly, a boy who looked a few years older than you yelled from a few meters away, effectively catching your attention. He takes a quick jog towards you and scratches the back of his neck, awkwardly. "Hi, I'm Lee Heewon. Heeseungs older brother." He introduces, stretching his hand towards you.

"It's nice to meet you" You smile politely, grabbing his hand before releasing it. "I'm YN."

Lee Heeseungs older brother nodded, however, it seemed as if he already knew that.

He reaches to wrap his hand around his mother's waist, whispering something to her. She replies with a confused look, scrunching her brows together and eyes squinting in confusion, yet she replies with a nod either way. Lee Heeseungs brother pulls away, looking at you and then asking if you would follow him.

Although confused, you agree. "Mom I'll be right back, okay?" You tell your mother who is now sitting on one of the chairs, talking with Lee Heeseungs parents. She simply smiles at you and agrees, letting you off on your own with the boy before turning back to their conversation.

Looking back at the male, you nod as he gestures for you to follow him towards the corner of the room, where not that many people were around so the two of you could have a conversation in private.

"Hi, so uh. Listen." He starts, eyes unable to look at yours as they shift everywhere, feeling awkward. "Heeseung-ie... he told us a lot about you because— uh, y'know what, I— I don't think it's my place to tell you this."

"Huh?" You reply, stunned.

"Sorry, forget it." He dismisses. "It's just... he said he was going to do it." He finally heaves out.

By the way his hands started getting clammy and shaky, you could tell the boy was nervous to tell you something. "I'm sorry but I don't understand what you're trying to say."

He releases a hefty breath befor continuing, "Heeseung, he likes you, or at least he did." He whimpers at that, hands coming up to comb his unruly hair. "He would talk to us a lot about you and we always teased him about it because... he just couldn't confess to you." He finishes with a sad laugh. "B-but now, he's g-gone and..." His voice trails off and his face wears a sad smile as he remembers the moments he spent with his dear brother.

Upon hearing those words, you stood rooted to your spot, unable to form a coherent sentence to respond to him. Like you've said before, you and Lee Heeseung were never close so when you found out that he had that big of a crush on you, so big that he couldn't help but tell his family, you were speechless, to say the least. "He... likes me?"

The older male chuckles, incredulous. "You didn't know?"

You shake your head in response, "We weren't really close."

"Damn, if Heeseung-ie heard you say that right now, he probably would've cried himself to sleep. The guy basically only had eyes for you." He comments, shaking his head as he laughs at the possibility.

Lee Heeseung likes me.

A sudden memory from about twenty days ago flashes in your mind and you're reminded of the time when you found a cute letter that was slid inside your locker on one warm afternoon.

'Hi, Y/N! If you're free, can you please meet me on the rooftop after classes end?

- your secret admirer ♡'

The short yet adorable note made your heart flutter and your chest bubble up in excitement as you read it. No one had ever bothered to confess to you, much less become your secret admirer. With you being so focused on your studies, you never made it a task to make yourself look good to please yourself and even more for other people. Of course you never want anyone to see you at your worst but at the end of the day, you don't really care as long as you don't look at yourself in the mirror.

After reading the letter multiple times, you finally concluded that you'd spent enough time fangirling and so, you eagerly folded the note and put it in a safe place inside your locker afterwards.

You were a loner, had no friends, and were basically isolated from everyone. You did feel sad about the fact you couldn't go to someone and gush about the letter to them— with no friends or siblings to approach, to whom were you supposed to go? But as you stood there alone on top of the rooftop with the sweet letter at hand, you were glad you didn't have anyone as you were greeted by no one other than the faltering light of the sunset.

No sign of anyone and certainly no signs of your secret admirer.

So it was him.

Lee Heeseung, you fucking coward.

'Why did he not show up? Was he too embarrassed? What on earth did I even do to make him like me? Well, if he bailed on me just like that then he mustn't have liked me as much as his brother says he does.'

So many questions flew around your head that you didn't even notice that long gone was Lee Heewon, older brother of Lee Heeseung and instead, your mother stood in his place. The tapping on your shoulder is what brings you back to your consciousness, your eyes turning to look at your mother as she continues to look at you in wonder.

"Sorry, just spaced out." You apologise, blinking.

The evening goes on smoothly— as smooth as you'd expect a funeral to be. You saw his friends there; Sim Jaeyun, Park Jongseong, Park Sunghoon, and a few other juniors that you've seen around campus. Although you had so many questions in mind— so many questions to ask him, you brushed them off and prayed for his well-being up there with God instead, hoping that he was no longer suffering.

His father, along with many others, gave tribute to the boy in the form of a long and heartfelt speech. With suicide grief, they’re dealing with trauma on top of the loss. With most people who die by suicide, it’s usually violent or tragic in some way— like what happened to Lee Heeseung. So, the person grieving has to deal with the fact that a person chose to take their life and that is how they died. That changes the grief process entirely.

Death can be tragic, like a murder or a car vehicle accident. But the stigma around suicide still exists today, and so family members have to contend with that piece as well. It makes their grief different.

"... I'm sure to everyone here, you all know that Heeseung was a kind and caring son. He was also a hardworking and honest student. A fun and talented friend." He continues. Your eyes danced across the room and situated themselves on his friends that were sitting in front. All of them were crying, gripping each other closer as they hugged one another, afraid that if their grip loosened, one of them might leave the others behind— just like their fallen sibling has. "And I'm sure he was a wonderful stranger to many of you as well."

"We'll never accept his death, for our Heeseung was one of a kind. Our family will continue to carry the sadness of losing him as grief is not something we ever get over, and it doesn’t ever stop. What we'll learn to do is grow around our grief, to encompass it and incorporate it or manage it into our own life,” He says. “We walk with it.”

“Every time you turn around— there’s a reminder of him, there’s a statement, there’s a feeling, there’s an emotion— and we ask you to not look past it,” His father says. “As we walk with this grief of losing him, we also hope that you don't forget him. Even though he isn't here anymore— physically, our family hopes that you'll still carry your memories of him inside your heart. Where he'll be forever until we see him again."

It's already nine in the evening when you get home. Feeling exhausted, you step inside the darkness of your room with a sigh, carelessly tossing your bag onto your desk as you plop down on your bed, staring at the ceiling— something you've been doing so much as of recently.

"Lee Heeseung..." You say to no one in particular. "You're such a loser"

"Ouch," a voice suddenly says. Your eyes unnaturally widen in shock as you sit up from the position you previously laid in because as far as you knew, there's no one in your room besides you. Looking at the knob on your door, you see that it's locked, making it even more impossible for someone to come inside without you noticing. "That was a little harsh, dont you think?"

But finally, there, in the corner of your room, you watch as the figure of a boy suddenly appears out of thin air. He stood there with a smirk playing across his red lips. He has stunningly dark hair, a pointed nose, and cheeks that look lively and soft. You would assume he was just some normal boy who slipped into your bedroom but the intimidating dark aura that coats his figure, spreading throughout the space of your room says otherwise.

A sense of fear envelops you as you stand up, stance as if ready to fight. "Wh-who are you!?"

"Ah, that's a complicated question, y'know. I go by many names." He says. "Some call me the Grim Reaper, some call me Death but I prefer the name Sunoo the most so make sure to call me by that!"

What

the

actual

fuck

Sunwoo— or whatever his name is, smiles deviously at you. His eyes crinkle in amusement as he watches you with your mouth agape, struggling to wrap your head around the fact that an otherworldly being might actually be in your room wearing a plaid shirt and Nike sweatpants.

"Th-this can't be happening. This is all just a dream." You say, smiling freakishly as you move to pinch your arm, hoping to wake up from whatever nightmare this is, but all you do is yelp at the pain you've caused yourself. Feeling the pain you inflicted, your eyes take frantic turns looking at your reddened arm and the magical being sighing defeatedly at you.

"Listen," He calls out for your attention. Hearing the authority in his voice makes you tense up, stopping all your actions in the process. Your ears are tingling for some unknown reason but you can only guess that it's because of the overwhelming amount of panic being struck in your veins. "I'm here because I need a favour from you—"

Before he could continue with what he was saying, you cut him off "No! No, you can not have my soul!" You scream out, hugging your body tightly around your shaking arms.

His eyes widen, index finger coming up to his lips to shush you "Stop. I'm not here for your soul—"

"Good because I'm not giving it to you anyways." You humph. You're still scared of the boy as his powers and true intentions are still unknown to you. However, hearing that he isn't here to take your soul just yet is already enough for you to relax and gain some sort of fake confidence.

"Will you stop cutting me off for a goddamn minute!" He shouts in a whispering manner. "I'm starting to regret coming to you for help."

Your eyes squint. "What did you just say?"

"Okay," He says before releasing a breath. "Do you want Lee Heeseung to come back?" He asks you slowly, watching your every move as if he expected you to scream out for your mother if he's not careful.

Thankfully— or not, you don't. All you do is stand there, unmoving. In a swift move, Sunoo pushed himself off the wall he was leaning up against and made a cautious step towards you.

"Do I want to... what?"

Sunoo sighs in relief, thanking his familiars that your body hasn't frozen due to shock and that he doesn't have to collect another young body again. "Do you want Lee Heeseung to live again?"

"H-How is that even possible to begin with?"

"I can make it happen. I can send you back twenty days from now to when he was still alive and you can change his future." He explains. "Only if you are willing to."

"Why me? Why not his friends? I'm sure they'd be willing to help. "

The Grim Reaper shrugs, "I simply don't believe they can change the outcome and besides, I wouldn't have chosen you if I didn't think you could do it." He explains, smiling softly at you.

You stay in place, taking a moment to catch up with your thoughts as well as the events that are currently taking place. The reaper, who took the form of an incredibly charming looking boy, is inside your room asking if you would be willing to go back exactly twenty days so you could—

Wait, what?

"Twenty days? Why twenty days? There must be some sort of reason."

"Because it took Lee Heeseung exactly twenty days to decide whether or not he was going to kill himself or not." Hearing that, you nod.

"And what will happen if I fail?" You ask, looking him in the eye. Afraid of what the answer might be, you caress your earlobe; a habit you had developed over the years when you would get nervous. "There must be some sort of consequence for tampering with time like this."

"I'm afraid there is, yes." The Reaper answers, head bowing in defeat. "Apollyon. If he finds out that I've messed with the cycle, he's going to try and do everything he can to stop you. He might hurt you or Heeseung I’m not sure. Although he can't kill you, there’s a possibility he might hurt you if you defy him." He exhales.

"But don't worry too much about it." He composes himself and continues, "I'll try and do everything I can to stop him. If you succeed, then Lee Heeseung will come back and he'll be alive."

This creature in front of you, this conversation, it all feels surreal. Naturally, your mind jumbles through all the possible horrendous outcomes of this bizarre situation. Someone could get fatally injured— not just you but the innocent could too. Is the life of someone you barely knew really worth all the pain you might cause someone else? Is it worth it to play this dangerous game of tag with Apollyon?

Lee Heeseung is someone you barely had no connections to. Besides the fact that you share a few classes together and have interacted even fewer, you knew nothing of the boy. The only feeling you have of him is a slight distaste but even that seems like a lie.

If only you didn't know that he was such a good person. If only you didn't know that he was a volunteer tutor at the daycare. If only you didn't see how many people loved and cried for him when they heard the news. If only you didn't know that he committed suicide on the same day as his birthday. If only you didn't see the way his bullies punched him.

Maybe, just maybe, if you didn't know any of these, you would've declined. But you couldn't.

Why is it that even despite hearing the danger you'll face, you're still yearning to agree?

If you had the chance to save someone's life, wouldn't you debate on saying yes as well?

There's a risk of you getting harmed but you throw that away because there's only one thing that occupies your head.

"Don't worry too much, once you've completed your task and I'm assured of Heeseungs future, I'll take you back to the present." His smile somewhat brought a tinge of comfort in you, finding a small bit of relief at the small gesture which only further jumbled your mind.

"I... fuck— Okay."

Lee Heeseung can come out of this whole mess alive. It's damn worth a try, isn't it? There's a possibility that everyone will be able to see that endearing smile again. You can save him from his unfortunate future. And lastly, you can give his grieving family their son back.

So, with feigned bravery, you nodded before breathing out heavily, eyes locking with Sunoo's. "Let's do it."

Upon hearing your agreement, he expresses his happiness with your decision with an excited giggle. You're left once again to debate whether he was actually supposed to be what people called 'Death' as he claps his hands, finding him inconveniently cute. "Yes!" He cheers. "Tomorrow, when you wake up, it will be September twenty-five— exactly twenty days from now. Everything that happened before will be the same, except for the things you will change, of course. Remember YN, you only have one shot at this. I'll be with you along the way so don't hesitate to call me if you feel like you're being watched or just simply need help. I'm rooting for you."

Change Lee Heeseungs fate. Sounds easy enough.

The Reaper— I mean, Sunoo grabs your shoulders and you still as he pushes you gently so you could sit on the edge of your bed. You give him a weird look but say nothing in return, getting the signal that he probably wanted you to go to sleep now.

"Good luck, Y/N." You hear him whisper before your eyes close, suddenly feeling incredibly heavy as you fall into an effortless slumber. Being an insomniac meant that you didn't spend a lot of time sleeping at night. But as the moon shone, joined by the soft sound brought by the pitter-patter of the rain, you fell into one of the most comfortable slumbers you've had in a long long time.

"Y/N! Darling you're going to be late for school!"

The piercing sound of your mother's voice mixed with the relentless knocking on your door makes you jolt awake. Indeed, as you turn to look at the huge clock in your room, you're late.

You bolt up, making a beeline towards your dresser, grabbing your uniform and hurriedly putting it on, not caring to bathe or comb your unruly hair. However, when you catch sight of your calendar, you stop, limbs frozen in place as your eyes focus on the piece of paper.

September 25...

'Fuck, so that wasn't some weird dream after all.' You physically slap yourself for forgetting such crucial information, your forehead stinging because of your actions— though, you don't have the time to look if a red mark shaped like your hand is imprinted on it or not, before shrugging it off and focusing on continuing to put your clothes on. If you don't get to school today then you'll miss an important chance to find out something about the boy— and no one wants that.

After saying goodbye to your mother, you step outside, the rays of sunlight hitting you. The warmth of it makes you feel cozy in contrast to the feeling of the heavy rain you've been experiencing since a day ago— or should you say in the future? You have no idea.

"This time travel shit is messing with my head."

"Just stop thinking about it and it'll be easier." A voice says, popping out of nowhere, making you jump.

"Will you stop doing that!?" You scream out, feeling lucky that no one is in the vicinity to witness your outburst. "Seriously, you're going to give me a heart attack before I even get to Lee Heeseung."

"By the way, why do you call Heeseung 'Lee Heeseung'?" Sunoo asks. "Sounds a bit too formal for a classmate don't you think?"

"That's because we aren't close." You reply monotonously as you fish for your planner inside your bag, sighing gratefully once you've found it.

All you get is a hum from the boy before he disappears and you let out a satisfied hum of your own, happy that he's left you alone to do your own bidding.

As you step inside the establishment of your school, you go straight to the destination of your locker. After entering the right combination, it prompts open with a click and there, you see it. Your heart flutters the same way once again as you see the familiar note but this time, it makes you smile sadly, knowing what'll happen to the sweet boy who gave it to you— not to mention how he stood you up that evening either, or this evening? You still have no idea why your secret admirer, who you now knew was actually Lee Heeseung, ditched you when he was supposed to confess but you're sure as hell that you're going to find out why.

Instead of putting the letter back in your locker as you did before, you grasp it in your hands, making the sudden call to look for the boy who gave it to you, wanting to see that he was alive and well.

However, as your eyes scan over the halls, you find no traces of Lee Heeseung. A sudden feeling of nervousness consumes your chest as you look around for him but fail to spot a single trace of him or his friends. Before you get a chance to search the school grounds for him, however, the school bell rings, signaling that classes are going to start soon. Begrudgingly, you make your way inside the classroom you've been in several times before.

The looming feeling of nervousness drops, your breathing fastening when you finally catch sight of him.

Lee Heeseung is there, sitting on top of his desk, his nose wrinkling the same way his eyes are. His smile is bright and it showed his perfect teeth as he laughed at whatever conversation he and his friends were having.

You don't care about the conversation, you care about him being there, looking so real that you almost ask yourself if you were dreaming until you remember what you're here for and why you've gone twenty days back into the past.

After finding out from his family that he likes you, all of the longing gazes and the shy smiles he sends you whenever the both of you make the smallest and shortest eye contact are now so crucially visible to you it hurts that you were so dense before not to notice.

As you make your way towards your usual seat beside the window, you almost miss the way his eyes trained on you and the letter you held inside your hands.

Lee Heeseung, why is my heart hurting?

From the corner of your eye, you can see the way he bites his lip nervously as you open the letter he sent you.

Like before, nothing has changed in the letter; it's the same words, the same question, the same handwriting, and the same stupid little heart that he put at the end of the note. You smile adoringly at the letter, folding it neatly before tucking it inside your bag as if it's a treasure.

From across the room, Heeseung suppresses his grin when he catches you reading the letter he slid inside your locker. His heart bubbles up in happiness to see that you didn't gag at the sight of it, knowing that you weren't the romantic type and basically never showed any kind of interest towards male suitors. Even though you barely ever throw a glance his way, his heart seemed to have a mind of its own when it fell for you. He admired your effortless beauty and the way you were so driven to always come out on top.

The first time he saw you was years ago when you had just moved into his neighborhood. He remembers looking out of the window, annoyed at all of the noise the truck hauling your furniture was making. His scowl immediately left his face however when he caught sight of you trying to pick up a box that looked like it was twice your weight. From his window, he watched as your small, flimsy body struggled to carry just one box inside.

He could have offered some help but the thought flew way past little Heeseungs mind as he was too shy to approach you at that time. Years have passed and it seems as if nothing has changed over the years. Sure he's grown taller, and gained more confidence— he could even say he was more attractive than most. But whenever it came to you, all his ego seemed to fly out the window and he would go back to the same shy boy he used to be.

However, nearing the age of nineteen he's grown tired of it all. That's why he slid that letter inside your locker, opting to make a big change. Its purpose is to finally express to you his undying feeling of admiration. And he's determined to pull through with it.

After minutes of hearing the same lecture, the school bell eventually rings, signaling that classes are finished and that you can all go and take your breaks. Yes, this meant lunch for your growling stomach. However, this is also the time Lee Heeseung is supposed to confess to you on the rooftop but will eventually fail to do so and you ought to find out why he stood you up. So, you hurriedly gather all your things, trying to catch up to the boy so you could follow closely behind him.

Making sure none of your stuff got left behind, you dash towards the door, eager to follow the said boy when a sudden voice calls out to you. "YN, Can I talk to you for a second?"

Fuck. You forgot today is the same day your teacher asks you to stay behind in class. It's so he could talk to you about the details regarding the literary contest in Busan that the school is going to compete in in three days. As the top student in your year, you're good at many things that involve using your wit, intelligence, and logic— physical labor isn't your strongest asset, thus, you're always the top option whenever it comes to district competitions.

The conversation doesn't go the same as before— the result of your intention to leave immediately. However, it doesn't end as quickly as you'd like it to. Your English teacher is known to be a chatterbox throughout the students of your year as he's known to beat around the bush, prolong the conversation, and dwell on non-school related topics— all of which you don't appreciate at the moment, but either way, much to your distaste, the conversation goes longer than you want it too.

If this continues, you might not be able to catch Lee Heeseung at all and he'd think that you stood him up.

"Right. Great. I understand. I'll make sure to send you an email if I have any questions just like you said. Bye!" You say all in one breath, giving the man a thumbs up before sprinting out of the room, giving him no space or time to open his goddamn mouth which smelled like outdated anchovies by the way.

Frantically, you search every hallway in your building, desperate to find Lee Heeseung before it's too late. As you near the corner leading towards an exit, you hear a loud slam— as if something or someone was thrown against the lockers, followed by a thump as it hits the ground.

Peaking at the edge of the corner, careful not to be seen, you see three boys huddled around one guy who looked vulnerable amongst the others and you immediately recognise who these people are. To any outsider, they would assume that these people are your typical high school bullies who liked to pick on people for fun but no.

These people, they're dangerous.

Associating oneself with these people automatically gives you a free pass into doing whatever wrong you can imagine. With their leader being the son of the biggest investor of your school, Choi Yeonjun, meant that every teacher, staff, and even the guidance counselor you're encouraged to approach for help will turn a blind eye to their actions as they tell you to forget the events ever happened. Beside him is Choi Beomgyu, a boy with undeniable anger issues. One trigger, one wrong action or move will have you six feet underground with him waving you off.

"Yah, Heeseung." One of them squatted down beside the said boy, who stayed seated on the filthy ground. You could only assume that the third guy who's squatted down beside him is Kang Taehyun as with him, their trio would finally be complete. Your eyes go wide as the realization hits you that the boy being picked on is actually Lee Heeseung, the boy you've been searching for for the past five or so minutes.

'So this is why he couldn't meet me at the rooftop before.'

When Lee Heeseung doesn't give any sort of reply, they scoff in annoyance, throwing a harsh kick on his stomach. Although you weren't the one hit, you wince in pain as you could only imagine the torture Lee Heeseung is going through.

"Come on, Heeseung-ssi. Just do as we say and we'll stop bothering you." Kang Taehyun says, grabbing a fist full of Heeseungs hair in his hands and forcing the boy to look up. "It's that simple."

Now, you can see the boy's face clearly— all thanks to the asshole that was pulling his hair away from his face. Lee Heeseungs lip is bruised up and there's a stray line of blood dripping down towards his chin. There's also blood gushing out from the damaged skin of his cheekbone, undoubtedly punched. By who? You have no idea but you could only guess it's from one of them.

"Fuck you." He spats out to the boy who's gripping his hair, blood mixing in with his saliva. From his position standing up, Yeonjun only scoffs in utter disbelief, poking his tongue on the side of his cheek to show his impatience.

Kang Taehyun wipes his face slowly using his hands. You can tell he's annoyed however he doesn't show it. Only showing how his temper has been running thin, and now, even thinner because of the blood mixed with saliva running down from his eye all the way to his cheek. "You son of a bitch!" He screams out before throwing a nasty punch at Lee Heeseungs already damaged cheekbone, worsening the wound. "Why're you defending that whore anyways, huh? I thought you liked that quiet kid in your class. Did she get too boring or did she finally find out how much of a stalker you are?"

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath trying to calm yourself down but it seemed that doing so only made it worse as now, you're focused on their voices, their words, and at the way, every kick, punch, and slap is directed towards Lee Heeseung.

The three of them let out an annoyingly loud laugh and it makes your skin crawl. Tearing your eyes away from the scene, you lean against the wall, unsure of what to do. You're sure you want to help Heeseung but the question is how?

You're itching to do something, anything just to make all of it stop because you can't bear hearing his grunts every time they throw a punch his way or his small screams of pain as they kick his stomach. Lastly, you can't bear hearing their insults, the names they call him. Lee Heeseung doesn't deserve any of it but what can you do? There's only a handful of options you can think of that may benefit the both of you in the outcome. You can't just go out there to fight them. You're no boxer and you're certainly no athlete. One punch from them can easily knock you out, rendering you useless. The option of going out there and threatening them with a weapon isn't good either. It's three against two and you dont think Lee Heeseung can even stand up and fight so really, it's just you against three well-built bullies.

Running out of time and favourable solutions, you choose to run. With all the strength you could muster, you dash away from the scene, running out of the building, praying to God that you find someone, anyone who you know is willing to help you fight against them.

His friends are your first option so you scurry around trying to find at least one of them when finally, sitting there at the bottom of the stairs leading towards the rooftop, you see Sim Jaeyun with his head propped up on one hand that rested on top of his knees and the other on he's using to scroll through his phone, seeming as if he's impatiently waiting for someone.

"Sim Jaeyun!" You're out of breath but you don't stop for air as the only thing in your jumbled mind that stays coherent is your drive to relieve the boy in need from his pain. "It's Lee Heeseung! He's… They're beating him up and I—I don't know what to do. Please help him." You ask, voice desperate and pleading.

Sim Jaeyuns eyes turn wide, immediately jolting up from his seat as he gestures for you to lead the way. The boy doesn't ask questions like "What happened?", "What's wrong?", "Is he badly hurt?" as his mind is too occupied with the thought of his brother being in trouble. The boy follows you as the both of you sprint back towards the same corner you had initially found Lee Heeseung and finds that the four of them are still there.

At the sound of your heavy running footsteps, the three of them turn their heads towards the both of you, followed by Lee Heeseung whose head felt heavy due to the endless beating he's received and the amount of blood he's lost. As the man beside you takes the scene of his friend looking battered and beaten, rage fills his veins as he lunges towards the three of them, not giving a damn even if he's outnumbered. You had guessed that Sim Jaeyun is stronger than he looked with the way three of them are struggling to contain the outraged boy.

While they're preoccupied with each other, you use this as a chance to come to Lee Heeseungs aid. Running up beside him, you crouch down to his level, cautiously pushing his bangs away from his face so you could inspect his injuries. His wounds have gotten worse, bigger and bloodier. His lip is completely busted, swollen and full of cuts— even worse than when you left. His cheeks are purple and swollen and you're angered to have found a new injury directed towards his left eye. Looking at him now, you can't help but feel like shit for leaving him alone to suffer at the hands of Choi Yeonjun and his friends, feeling useless that you couldn't have taken them all at once— like his friend is doing.

"H-Heeseung?" You ask him in a whisper, cupping his swollen cheek in your hands so you could turn his head to look at you and so that he could feel you there. He winces in pain and you immediately retract your hand, afraid to hurt him even further. "I-It's me, YN." You smile nervously, shy to have been so close to him. "You're okay now. I got your friend? Sim Jaeyun, right? He's here."

Upon hearing that, he smiles dreamily, as if out of it before sighing comfortably, closing his eyes and passing out after due to exhaustion. "H-Heeseung?" You call out, stuttering as you tap his cheek. When he doesn't answer, you panic, quickly turning to Sim Jaeyun who just threw a punch at Choi Beomgyus face, knocking him to the ground. "J-Jaeyun! H-Heeseung isn't… He passed out, Jaeyun. I don't know what to do." You whimper, feeling helpless.

Endless punches, kicks, and shouts were exchanged by the four of them with Sim Jaeyun miraculously coming out on top.

"You fucking bastards!" He screams, swinging his fist at Choi Yeonjuns face. Afterwards, he grabs the boy's collar, pushing his face closer as he threatens their leader. "I thought I already told you to stay away from him?!"

"Aw come one, Jake. You act like you're so different from us." One of them manages to cough out.

The boy is fuming as he takes in the unconscious figure of his dear friend lying on the ground and your distressed figure beside him, trying to make Lee Heeseungs unconscious body as comfortable as you can. There's a line of sweat coating his forehead but that's the least of his worries. Kang Taehyun is down on the ground, writhing in pain while clutching his stomach. Choi Beomgyu is leant against the wall as he spits out the blood that pooled inside his mouth, body swaying in dizziness. The only one left standing is Choi Yeonjun but you doubt he'd last long as you're proven right as he's immediately knocked down to the ground by the other.

"I swear, if you touch Heeseung hyung again, you three are really going to pay." He seethes out as neither of them reply, too tired and beat up to do so. Afterwards, he takes quick steps towards the two of you, immediately hooking Lee Heeseungs arm around his shoulders as you help him, the three of you exiting and going towards the nurse's office.

You're flabbergasted, to say the least. This is the first time you’ve ever witnessed a fight happen first-hand and you have a feeling this won't be the last if you keep associating yourself with his friend group. This side of Sim Jaeyun is unknown to you— as any side of him is. Having only known the boy as a mere bystander through the year, you had expected the boy to be an adorable puppy— much like his face. A happy-go-lucky friend that's cheerful and always ready to bring a smile to your face, not a punch. Perhaps you've judged too quickly as not everyone is the same as their cover shows. However, what makes your mind confused the most is how there's not a single ounce of fear in your body as you stand beside the boy.

The way his body moved so naturally in that setting made you wonder whether he's done this before, fighting. It seemed as if they had a history together, based on the words Sim Jaeyun let out in anger as he defended the older.

Speaking of the boy, you wonder what the reason for Choi Yeonjun and his crew targeting Lee Heeseung is— as you know they don't just mess around with random people. This eventually takes you back to the conversation they had prior to when you called Sim Jaeyun over for help. Lee Heeseung did something they didn't like, that's for sure. What is it? You have no idea but you ought to find out.

This might be the reason Lee Heeseung chose to take his life. The beating, the constant haunting done by the trio. Whether your hunch is fact or not, you'd do whatever it takes to find out, because after all, saving him is the reason you agreed to be sent back despite the danger, right? You only have one chance, so there's no room for failure. Soon enough, the creature named Apollyon is going to find out and you know for a fact that when he does, you're going to get hurt— much like how Lee Heeseung is right now. Standing beside Lee Heeseungs unconscious body which lay peacefully across the hospital bed placed inside the nurse's office, you can't help but feel a sense of responsibility to look after the boy when the creature does come and try to hurt the both of you. You wonder, is there a possibility that he's already found out? Within a day? Was this his doing?

Your mind buzzes as questions flow endlessly and you make a point to ask the Grim Reaper or rather, Sunoo, about this later, hoping that he can spare some details about what's going to happen.

You almost forget the fact that Sim Jaeyun is standing there beside you until he speaks. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that, YN." The said puppy-dog-faced boy apologizes, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"O-Oh it's fine, really. I understand." You try to assure him but your tone seems to have betrayed you. "I'm just glad Lee Heeseung's going to be fine."

"Yeah," Sim Jaeyun agrees, rocking his feet back and forth as he nods. "The nurse says all he needs is some ice and rest and then he'll be good to go."

You nod in understanding, happy that the damage dealt was minimal. There's a moment of silence that passes between the both of you as the other is unsure of what to say next.

"Say, YN. I-I actually have a favor to ask you." He says smiling sheepishly, digging his hands inside the front pockets of his pants. You let out a hum, prodding him to continue as your eyes stay glued to the way Lee Heeseungs chest heaved every time he breathed. "If… um… Can you keep what happened earlier a secret?"

You tilt your head to the side as you tear your eyes away from Lee Heeseung to look at him. "Don't you think Choi Yeonjun and the others will tell someone before I even peep a word in?" You reason.

"They won't tell anybody about it, I'm sure." He assures you before sighing deeply, looking back and forth between you and his palms— as if he's debating on whether to tell you something. Noticing this, you give him an encouraging smile, motivating him to continue. This seemed to have worked as he finally found the courage to open up to you. "I've known those guys a while back. I— I'm not proud of my past with them. Those guys have big egos. They aren't going to admit to anyone they lost a fight with three against one."

Laughing at how convenient this all is, you ask "You used to be friends with them?"

"Yeah, I— um… used to." He answers. "We used to get into all sorts of trouble. Luckily, Heeseung hyung pulled me out and I left that life behind."

Nodding, you take the information in, failing to find the right words to reply with. Clearly, you aren't as observant as you thought you were as you had barely even noticed how Sim Jaeyun used to be in the same group as them. "It's a good thing he knocked some sense into you then." You conclude.

"He was great, really. He saw the good in me even when I didn't— when no one did, and I'm forever going to be thankful for that."

"You're a good guy, Sim Jaeyun. I'm glad Lee Heeseung has a friend like you by his side. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about what happened today, I promise." You smile at him and he smiles at you back.

After a while, he tells you that he'll be right back, informing you that he's going to go and tell the others what happened. Understanding the worry the others might have been feeling at the absence of two of their oldest, you nod, allowing him to leave you as you stay beside Lee Heeseung so you could provide him with some company when he wakes up.

"Oh, and YN— fuck. Wait, sorry. Is it okay if I call you that?" He asks and you nod, appreciating how he's asked you for your consent at the smallest thing like calling your name. He gives his own nod back, biting his lips to conceal his grin. "Great! And call me Jake, yeah? And I'm sure Heeseung hyung will appreciate it if you just called him Heeseung instead."

A few hours passed and it's already three in the afternoon. Classes are almost done and you're happy to walk into the nurse's office hearing Lee Heeseungs voice talking and laughing, his body is now well and awake. The six of them came in about thirty minutes ago and you left for a moment to provide them some privacy.

Upon your entry, his gaze locks with yours and all chattering and banter seem to stop as all heads turn to look your way. Now, all their attention is directed towards you as their expressions vary between shocked and speechless to mischievous and teasing— the latter being directed mostly towards the boy who laid in bed. It's not only theirs but his too. Lee Heeseungs eyes, you mean. You fidget with your hands from where you stood as heat pools across your cheeks, offering him a small, shy smile.

"Hi." Whispering, you wave a hand curtly towards his way. "You okay… Heeseung?" You ask, your voice faltering towards the end when you had said his name as you threw a glance at Sim Jaeyun, who you now refer to as Jake. He gives you a satisfied grin and a thumbs up, appreciating that you had accepted his previous request.

Calling him just by the name 'Heeseung' is still new to you and it sends your tongue into a frenzy every time you say his name as a rebellious surge of heat makes its way all throughout your body. Still, you love the feeling it gives you when it rolls out.

Heeseungs bambi-like eyes seem to widen, heat making its way to his bruised up cheek, seemingly forgetting your question as cheers and screams erupt around the room. Clearly, the younger ones like to tease their oldest. You're sure of this because of the way Park Sunghoon pokes Heeseungs shoulder, snickering at the older. Heeseung throws the boy a playful glare whilst telling him in a whispering manner to shut up. This doesn't seem to be the remedy for his problems however as now, everyone seems to be doing the same all at once; poking, teasing, snickering, and smirking.

You can't hide your own giggle as what you had expected to be an awkward check up on the boy had turned into pure chaos as you use the back of your hand to hide the grin on your face.

"Alright guys, that's enough." Park Jongseong is the one that finally shuts the others up, Heeseung throwing a thankful glance at the boy. "We'll leave you guys alone for a bit. I think Heeseung hyung has something to say to YN?" He inquires, casting a knowing glance towards the oldest who's now blushing an even deeper red than before.

The rest erupt into cheers, patting his shoulder as they make their way outside the door. Before they go out of sight, they give you a small wave, seemingly shy now that they're in front of someone they don't know as they sport a few small teasing grins. You bid them your own farewell, shaking your head at their nonsense, leaving Heeseung and you alone inside the nurses office.

"Um…" He starts, chewing the bottom of his lip, a nervous habit, you assume he has. "Hi, YN."

You tilt your head, smiling at him, happy that he's okay and finding the situation silly as you could only guess what's about to happen next.

He's going to confess, like he initially planned.

"Hi, Heeseung." You reply, simply. "How're you feeling?" You ask.

His eyes widen, seeming to have forgotten his current state as he realizes and takes a look at the multiple bandages covering his healing wounds. "O-Oh! These? These are nothing. I'm okay!" He assures you quickly, shaking his arms in front of him as if to show you he was well. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Don't tell me you're used to getting beaten up, Lee Heeseung. I never took you as a scuffler." You say in a teasing manner.

For the umpteenth time since seeing him in a conscious state, he widens his eyes cutely and he's quick to deny your playful accusation. "N-No! That's not what I meant! I don't get into fights, I swear!" He says, shaking his head cutely and it makes his hair sway. "I'm a good guy. You can ask Jake!"

You shake your head, finding his reactions funny. "I know, Heeseung. I'm just messing with you."

Taking a look inside Heeseungs mind, it's filled with thoughts of you; how you're talking to him right now, how he's managed to say coherent words to you, how pretty you look, how you're looking at him, how he's in the same room as you are. He's in chaos right now, trying to calm his fastening heartbeat.

He's always found you so beautiful, his adoration only growing as he grew taller. In his mind, he thinks that you probably don't pay attention to him much but still, you have all of his. He's seen the way you act around your parents, so caring and gentle. How you're so unbelievably smart, winning all the competitions and gaining the highest marks. How passionate and driven you are when you set your mind on something. Those were only some of the things he loved about you.

Out of the blue, he takes a deep sigh. "Y-YN…" He calls out and you reply by humming as you tilt your head, waiting for him to continue. "I actually have something to tell you."

His face has only grown hotter by the second, trying to gather the confidence to finally tell you what he's been dying to confess for years. In a way, you feel as if you're cheating, already knowing what he's about to do and thus, lacking the suspense you're supposed to feel. But you can only feel a tinge of guilt as you take a look at his expression, so adorable and deer-like while you wait for him to confess.

Still, you feel giddy regardless of knowing. "Yeah? What is it?"

"I— I've actually liked you… for a while now." He says, shyly, looking at your expression. "This might actually seem kinda weird— is it? Umm, I-I don't know. Sorry, this is so awkward. I'm awkward! Not you!" He rambles on.

"This is definitely not how I wanted this to go." He mutters the last part mostly to himself but still, you hear it. Giggling at his antics, you shake your head, using the back of your hand to cover the shit-eating grin that's on your mouth, not wanting to make him feel embarrassed any further as you tell him to go on. Breathing out, he clears his throat before speaking, " I-I like you, YN."

Although you already knew that, your heart still seems to be flustered, beating faster than you had expected. As you take in his confession, a surge of heat dances across your whole face, much to your protests. Truthfully, you're not sure what to reply and you have no idea where this side of you that's all shy and playful came from. Does he bring out a side of you that even you were unaware of having? Maybe. Talking to him seems so comforting, so calming that it seems to just come out naturally when you're around him— albeit, this is the first time it's happened.

Did you have any interest in Lee Heeseung before knowing what happened?

'No, no, I definitely didn't.'

Way to make it more obvious, smartass.

Okay, so maybe you did have some interest in him way back then. It was a simple crush really. He's your classmate. You found him nice to look at. You also found out that he's an incredibly nice person. Thus, just for the sake of having someone to crush on, purely for inspiration purposes, you chose him, reasoning that he's the best candidate and suited your 'ideal man'; tall, big and pretty eyes, tall nose, pouty lips, huge ears, prominent Adam's apple. You inwardly sigh whilst rolling your eyes, realizing that you've been describing how Lee Heeseung looks and him being your 'ideal man.'

Being the introvert you are, you never bothered to make a move and confess to him about it, nor did you assume that he was the secret man who left a love letter to you so he could confess.

Would you have still saved him if you were oblivious to the fact that he loved you? Yes, definitely. There were no questions asked about that. But now he's here. Sure, you admit this isn't how you expected him to confess to you; him laying on a hospital bed, all bruised up after you had just helped save him from a fight, but it's real and true and that's all you desire in a man.

"R-Remember the love letter that you got this morning? That was actually me. I'm sorry I didn't get to confess to you on the rooftop like I said I would. And I'm sorry I'm confessing to you like this." He says, apologising although it's not his fault. "But I'll take my chances and ask anyway. YN, would you… err… mind dating me?"

And now, the answer seems so simple, so clear. You like him and he likes you. What idiot are you to pass up a chance to fall in love with someone like him? Taking this mission on, you didn't expect to come out of it with a potential boyfriend. That is, if you succeed in saving him.

You're still not too confident, thinking that you aren't the best person for this as changing someone's mind about committing suicide when they're so set on doing so is harder than you it let's on to be. However, The Grim Reaper's words resonate in you, reminding you that you're the only person that can do this, and so, you'd like to think that being close to him like this will help and also because maybe acting upon your feelings doesn't seem so bad. Even if there's a chance he might leave you heartbroken in the end.

So, yes. "Yes, I'll gladly date you Heeseung. I'd be really happy to."

And now, you're really in it. You're going to save Lee Heeseung.

SEPTEMBER 26 ༉༊

After Heeseung had confessed to you in the nurse's office and being the head-over-heels man that he is, Heeseung immediately sprang up the idea of the two of you going on a date this Saturday— which is tomorrow. Grinning, you happily agreed, completely forgetting the literary contest you had to prepare for. However, as of the moment, that's the least of your worries because if things go according to how it happened before, you'll win the contest in Busan and go back home with a medal and certificate in your hands.

Leaving with each other's phone number, you bid the other goodbye, wearing the same identical grin on your faces. Leaving the room, you left with the promise of meeting each other again tomorrow lingering in the air while the last school bell rings.

That confession would've never happened if you weren't given the task to be sent back in time to save him. Although it's irrelevant, now, you hold no grudges towards your secret admirer because the reason he couldn't meet you wasn't because he stood you up, but because he was actually getting beaten up. If you didn't opt to search for the boy, the fight would've lasted longer, leaving him with an even more horrible outcome.

Currently, you're sprawled across your bed with nothing to do but think and reminisce about the events that happened and that're going to happen. You opt to think of a course of action ahead of time, trying to remember all the events that are going to take place in the next twenty days so you could maneuver around it.

Tomorrow, instead of going on a date with your highschool crush, you stayed in your room to practice for the literary contest and the same will happen tomorrow.

On Monday, you and a few other willing students who want to show their support for the school will go to Busan. This leaves you wondering if Heeseung was there because when school work is involved, you don't pay attention to anybody else but the work at hand. So it's hardly unlikely for you to remember or to even notice his presence. But in the end, like you've said, you'll win and come home happy as the rain will start pouring on your way back home. The next day, you were absent as you had played in the rain the night prior, rendering you sick and unable to go to class.

Amidst your thinking, a gust of wind suddenly made your windows fly open, curtains swaying wildly. Your heart rate slightly picks up, suddenly feeling nervous as chills run along your arms, giving you goosebumps. You sit up and kneel on top of your bed, peeking out the opened window only to see a cat walking along the roof of your neighbours house. This makes you calm down, sighing in relief as you close the windows shut. Suddenly, you hear a whip of air followed by a thud coming from behind you. The sound makes you turn quickly, eyes widening in shock to see Sunoo there, looking out of breath.

"Sunoo! For the last time, will you stop scaring me like that!?" You scream as you rush to stand up, stopping once you're in front of him as you hold a hand above your beating heart.

But all he gives you is a guilty smile. "Sorry, YN. It's fun seeing your reaction every time I scare you."

Rolling your eyes, you huff at the boy, crossing your arms at your chest. "It's not funny, you ass." Your eyes narrow, leaning your face close to his. "Where have you been anyways? I've been waiting for hours."

"Nowhere. Just trying to keep things unnoticed as much as I can." He shrugs as if it's nothing, pulling your desk chair back to sit. "Anyways, I have good news." He smiles widely, making his cheeks look plumper.

"Yeah, well that sucks because you have to answer my questions first. I assume you saw what happened today." You ask, quirking your eyebrows up, daring him to protest and you let out a satisfied hum when he only replies with a nod. "Say, what happened to Lee Heeseung before? I was busy preparing for a contest back then, I barely took notice of him." You casually ask, turning your back to him as you start walking towards the small shelf at the corner of your room.

He sighs, the cheerful and bubbly aura on his face wavering, showing remorse and pity in its place. "Heeseung went into a short coma after almost getting beaten up to death." He starts and you listen with wide eyes, shocked that you were so preoccupied to the point where you didn't know that something so life-threatening happened to one of your classmates.

As if to reminisce about the past incident, Sunoo looks outside, moonlight hitting his face as he admires it. "That day when he was supposed to meet you at the rooftop, he got stopped by those three. They started beating him up because he was a witness to something horrible they did. Heeseung wouldn't agree to turn a blind eye like they wanted him to so they beat the crap out of him. He got beaten up over and over after he woke up and was well enough to go back to school again. His family isn't that rich and they already have trouble paying their usual bills. As you know, hospital bills aren't cheap and they have to work themselves to death just to pay their debt. Heeseung could tell they were all having a hard time because of him." Picking up a random pencil on your table, he starts fidgeting with it, twisting the object between two fingers as he continues to tell you Heeseung's story.

"Heeseung changed after that day. He suddenly got more serious, more stoic and he even stopped hanging out with his friends all together. He stopped doing everything he loved and drowned himself in work. He was still getting beaten up by those three until all of it became too much to bear for a high school student. That, along with carrying the guilt of knowing… N-Nevermind. Eventually, you know… He… He killed himself."

"So if I didn't arrive there at all he would've gotten into a coma and all of this would've happened?" Sunoo nods sadly, speaking the truth. Your heart feels dejected and hurt as drops of what would usually be rain but —are now replaced with tears of your own— make their way down your face for the first time in what seemed like forever. Your thoughts are scrambled, filled to the brim with emotion, when suddenly, you remember something that doesn't quite make sense to you still. "You said he was a witness to something, what was he a witness of?"

"I-I don't know if it's my place, YN." He's hesitant to say as he tries his best to avoid eye contact with you. Already feeling the guilt of not knowing something so vile happening to someone, you're speechless when he doesn't tell you.

"Oh for goodness sake! You already brought me back here against the universal laws, I'm doing this with the fear of me and the people around me getting fucking hurt. I'm sure you can tell me what he saw." You scoff. Still, he seems conflicted about whether to tell you or not but his hesitance only annoys you so you press him on even more. "What did he see, Sunoo?" You ask, pausing in between words.

"YN… I-I really think you should ask Heeseung, instead. I won't be able to give you the full—"

"Just tell me what you know!" You scream out. "I'm so sick of this! You want me to help him yet you give me nothing to go off of. How am I supposed to save him if you won't tell me why he's getting beaten up?!"

"That's the thing! You've already saved him, YN!" He replies back enthusiastically, hoping you'd change your mind. "You're a smart kid YN. I'm sure you know what the butterfly effect theory is, don't you?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance. "Yes, I do and what about it?" You deadpan.

"You managed to save Lee Heeseung from his coma! Meaning, his family won't get flooded with debts and he won't feel guilty for being the reason for it. That's enough to lessen the pain Heeseung felt and he won't be pushed to take his life anymore." It sounds absurd but his theory pans out right. With you arriving early to the scene, Heeseung didn't get beaten to the brink of death, saving him from his coma and lessening his feeling of being a burden. It seems like a small change but the effect is massive. Just like what the butterfly effect entails.

"We can go back right now while they still don't know about it and you won't be harmed." His offer seems too good to be true but you see no signs of error with his plan.

But still, you're bothered, itching to know what Heeseung has seen. "If we continue now won't Heeseung still get beaten up by those shit heads?"

"He'll fight back this time. With you and the others by his side, his resolve is now stronger." He's not telling you the whole truth.

By the way his hands are moving and the tone of his voice, you can tell he's lying. He might be an otherworldly being but the boy doesn't know anything about being a good liar.

"And what about the thing he witnessed, are you willing to tell me now?" You ask, leaning your body weight onto on foot whilst crossing your arms over your chest.

"No." He tries to answer simply. However, you notice the way his jaw clenches along with his fists whenever you touch upon the subject. "You don't need to know about that, YN."

"And why is that? You've told me useless information before. Surely this isn't any different than those."

"It is, YN." He tries convincingly but in the end, his gaze falters as he locks eyes with your persistent ones, finally realizing that you weren't going to stop asking until he told you. So with a sigh of defeat. "Five days ago, when Heeseung was on his way back home from school, he saw a girl being assaulted by those people who beat him up. Before they could do anything to the girl, Heeseung managed to rescue her and get away. In the original timeline, Heeseung and the girl will press charges and fail. The girl… she'll continue living her life in fear of them coming back. She blamed Heeseung for not being able to do anything. She said that if he couldn't help her put them in jail then he should've left them to do what they wanted with her; that it was all his fault."

'Ungrateful bitch.'

You don't have any idea who the girl is but your blood feels like it's going to boil through your skin with your hand itching to touch a certain someone's cheek. Despite what you know she's been through, all you feel is hatred and malice towards the girl as there's not an ounce of sympathy as you're unable to wrap your head around her thought process.

"How can someone be so ungrateful!?" You scream out in shock. "He's just as much of a victim than she is and she has the fucking audacity to blame him? The person who saved her?" You don't expect a reasonable answer from the boy, more so saying it out of disbelief and anger.

Far from his usual bubbly self, Sunoo only replies with a nod, seeming to be ashamed as he bows his head down, unable to look you in the eye.

"Why did you keep this hidden from me?" You sigh in exasperation, nudging your chin towards him.

"She… She's actually my sister, sadly." He smiles both in shame for her sister's actions and sorrow for what could have almost happened to her. "I guess I was just ashamed."

Speechless, you stammer for a few moments, mouth open and closing in shock as you try to compose a more coherent sentence. "Wow, I guess we can't really choose our relatives, can we?" You sight out, smiling sadly. "I'm sorry for talking crap about her like that."

All Sunoo does is shrugs. "It's okay. She wasn't always the best sister."

"Okay then. As long as Heeseung is fine, I'm willing to go back." You breathe out, patting the sides of your thighs to ready yourself. Sunoo smiles at you, nodding in appreciation.

OCTOBER 16 ༉༊

Opening your eyes, you're met with the same frost that the rain brought you like the last time you went to bed. The only difference your half-awaken body could comprehend is the amount of pillows suddenly decorating your bed— not to mention how hard the one placed on your back feels. Gripping the blanket tighter around your body, you turn in place, humming in satisfaction when the pillow wraps its arms around your waist tighter. In your state, you snuggle deeper into its warm embrace.

You stay like that for a couple of minutes, trying to catch your dreams as you relish the comfort both your pillows and blankets were giving you when out of nowhere, a chuckle breaks its way through your ears, catching you off-guard. With wide eyes, you turn around in a quick motion and sure enough, like a male lead in a teenage romantic drama, Lee Heeseung is laid there beside you on the bed, looking at you with stars in his eyes. Seeing your expression, he giggles and it feels like he's serenading you with tooth rottingly sweet songs while his nose crinkles with glee as strands of his hair decorate his puffed up face.

In this moment, you could tear up. In fact, that's just what you do, you burst into tears the moment you lock eyes with him. Sobbing, you bury your head at the crook of his neck as your hands wrap around his waist tightly, afraid to let go because you think that if you do, you might wake up. Your own tears stain his neck but he doesn't seem to mind, more so showing concern towards your actions. He pats you in the back, asking you what's wrong, but you only reply to him with a defiant shake of your head and a hard squeeze as he tries to take a look at you.

"YN?"

He's alive and he's laying down beside you. Your heartbeat is fastened, stupefied by how you could feel his touch on your skin, how you could feel his breath on your forehead, and how you can feel the beating of his heart through the thin layer of his plain white t-shirt. He’s the only thing you can feel and you’re over the moon by it.

“H-Heeseung.” You hiccup, leaving his neck to look at his face as you cup his cheeks with both hands. “You’re here.” You breathe out, chuckling as you smile through your tear stricken face.

His eyes are filled with worry as he looks at you, hand coming to mirror your actions as he wipes the stray tears that left your eyes. “I’ve been here since yesterday, baby. What do you mean?”

Although you’re confused by how Lee Heeseung, your classmate who had just confessed to you, is in your room, sleeping beside you, you don’t question it. Wanting to indulge in the moment longer, you bury your head in his chest in a hug, overjoyed by the outcome of your crazy adventure. Truely, it's a blessing in the skies to have Heeseung beside you, living and breathing. What’s more lucky is how your relationship with him has seemed to blossom after your obscure confession, but you wouldn't have it any other way because right now, Heeseung will be right beside you, always— just where you want him to be.

“Did you have a nightmare again?” He pouts with furrowed brows. “I didn’t cheat on you in your dreams again, did I? Dream Heeseung is actually such an asshole.” He finishes by rolling his eyes in disgust.

He’s insulting himself and normally, you would be against it, voicing your distaste through your inner thoughts, however, instead of doing that, you laugh, finding his humor comforting while his body is pressed against yours.

Now, you don’t mind the thunderous rain anymore. With Heeseung beside you, you feel like you can have a positive view on everything bad that gets thrown your way. Besides, what's the worst that can happen? Him dying? No problem, you have a reaper as a friend to help you with that.

Although yours and Heeseungs relationship hasn’t been online for that long, you’ve come to the realization that in your case, time is irrelevant. Time is complex and always changing. Some may say that time goes by too fast and for some, too slow, however, there is one thing you know that will never change, and that’s Heeseung. With time, your admiration for him will only grow, turning into love and the next is what’s beyond that. As you watch the way his eyes shine every time he talks, you dive in deeper, willingly drowning yourself in him until he’s all that you can see, hear, feel, touch, and taste. With time, the both of you will grow, change, and mature, but that doesn’t scare you. You aren't frightened that he might turn into someone else and leave the highschool Heeseung behind him, no, because like time, Heeseung is ever so changing.

How you know your relationship was formed might not be what others perceive as normal, but to you, it’s perfect. No matter how many lives you live nor how many universes there are, you’ll still choose him because at the end of the day, who doesn’t want Lee Heeseung to sing them to sleep. It’s like walking around with a spotify premium wherever you go!

Nevertheless, you’ll protect him and he'll do the same for you. With this frail and useless body of yours, you’ll defend him. It doesn't matter who you're dealing with or how big the problem is because he knows that you’ll be there by his side. With that thought and your love in mind, Heeseung feels like he could conquer the world— not that he wants to anyways. All the things he wants in life are already right in front of him, in the shape of you. Sure, it’s short, messy, and can get incredibly emotional at times but that doesn’t matter because he wouldn't want you any other way than yourself.

"Belated Happy Birthday, by the way." You whisper through your tears..

From outside the water stained window of your room, two prying eyes are peeking in, looking at the loving couple sprawled across their room on a rainy day.

“Sunoo, you’re lucky this didn’t cause any trouble with the time cycle.” Apollyon says whilst sighing in defeat once he turns his head and notices that the reaper he came here with just continues to blatantly stare at the both of you with longing in his eyes. “You’re new that’s why im letting you get away with this but I'll have you know that if you do something like this again—”

“I know.” The boy simply replies.

Tired, he shakes his head at the boy in defeat. Like the other, he turns his head to look at the unknowing couple happily talking to each other. Heeseung leans his lips near your ear, whispering. You listen to him eagerly, eyes growing animatedly wide once he’s finished and a feverous red-hot blush coats your face. He leans away to look at your reaction, however before he could, you turn your head away, slapping his chest and pointing a lecturing finger at him afterwards.

“They’re good for each other.” Apollyon comments, complimenting the both of you. “You’re more suited to be cupid instead of reaper, don't you think?” He jokes which the other only shrugs in response.

“By the way, about the soul you're looking for—”

“Leave it.”

Apollyon stops and looks at the boy with disbelief written across his face. “A-Are you sure?”

“I'm sure. She deserves peace and I’m not going to be the one taking it away from her.” Sunoo says, smiling even though his heart felt like it was chipping away.

“Besides, she killed herself to get away from me, didn't she?”

TAGLIST : @mindprismus @seungstarss @heedeungie1 @lhsng @amarillyis @meowmeowhoon @wonswondrland @axartia @heesflor @caty-catts @enhacolor @artstaeh @thaliese @heestart @samanthaaaa1 @sushiriki @dimensionchaosstuff @viagumi @kuleo26 @sunshinebunbun @tobiosbbyghorl @yurazoyori @dstarsz @nichoxnoel @woonie-muffin @romanticizedme @nomy0520 @rosie-is-everywhere @kimjiho1 @ashxsmoon @ilovebokutokoutaro @cruelfever @donkeykongwetpussy @cherryjinri @jukeboxjo1nts @prodsputnik @jjongbadnae @jangyikku @seonushine @ckline35 @kyanmeai ( bold = couldn't tag)

— want to be part of my permanent taglist? check out this post !

— want to see more of my work? check out my masterlist !

3K notes · View notes

loverseon · 2 years

Text

smashing the six | nct series (M)

there’s a notorious tradition at nct university - hookup with a player from each of the six athletic programs. bonus points awarded if you get any of them to fall in love with you. but don’t forget about neonet, nctu’s infamous social media app, where rumors get passed around like candy and no one is safe from having their business aired out for all to see.

notes: do not read if you are uncomfortable with rated scenarios. this series is for adults only. each chapter contains strong language, alcohol or marijuana use, and explicit sexual content.

disclaimer: the members are just my muses. I don’t know any of them personally and would never say that they would actually act or behave in the ways portrayed in this story.

⚾ the short stop; jeno.

stats: #23; freshman; engineering major

neonet says: given that he’s new to the area and has yet to make friends, this mystery boy seems to spend most of his time either in class or practicing on the field, but he is always on his phone.

{ read here }

⚽ the center forward; yuta.

stats: #10; senior; kinesiology major

neonet says: rarely will you find this grade A fuck boy in class, but you are almost always guaranteed to find him vaping behind the library or hooking up with a cheerleader in the locker room.

{ read here }

🏐 the middle blocker; johnny.

stats: #00; senior; business major

neonet says: fresh off a very bitter breakup from a long-term relationship, you will probably find this lover boy blowing off frustration in the gym or chatting up girls at the plaza, looking for a rebound.

{ read here }

🏒 the left wing; mark.

stats: #02; sophomore; journalism major

neonet says: the mama’s boy can always be found in his natural habitat, doing exactly what he’s supposed to do and never stepping out of line, but he will follow the girl he loves into danger without hesitation.

{ read here }

🏈 the tight end; jaehyun.

stats: #14; junior; education major

neonet says: the golden boy is typically found in his dorm room, listening to melodramatic music and getting buzzed off wine, but occasionally he comes out of hibernation to let loose like everyone else.

{ read here }

🏀 the point guard; haechan.

stats: #66; freshman; psychology major

neonet says: this pain in the ass can usually be found hanging around the food court, because his two favorite things in life are spicy rice cakes and being up in everybody’s business.

{ read here }

hey if you enjoyed this story please consider leaving me a tip or buying me a coffee so I can keep writing. my venmo is leighwashere. thank you :)

5K notes · View notes

loverseon · 2 years

Text

wc : 0.5k. fluff. not spellchecked aaaaaaaa

note : when will it be my turn. sob

“wonu?”

headset pulled away from one ear, the noiret sneaks a glance downwards from the haze of the multicolored screen before him, gentle flashing lights reflecting in the clear lenses of his glasses. his hands still over the mouse and keyboard, and he lifts one to tug his mic out of the way as the paused screensaver flickers animatedly.

your sleepy mumbles draw his attention like a magnet—curled up in his lap as you burrow yourself as close as humanly possible. nose brushing against the skin that peeks out his hoodie, he can’t help the faint smile that adorns his lips when your eyelids flutter against the incoming lull of sleep.

wonwoo knows it’s late. knows you’ll have to get up early in the morning. work is as demanding as ever, and the both of you need as many recharge hours as you could get—but you were working late, and he couldn’t sleep without the comfort of your weight with him in your shared bed… so he turned to the next best thing.

it’s been hours since then, though. hours since you’ve stumbled home with work tousled hair and wrinkled clothes, since you’d freshened up and gotten ready for bed with a few words shared between you. hours since you dropped your bags at the front door in search of him, always, and allowing yourself to sag into his embrace.

now, your hand curls around the fabric of his hoodie, grey cotton pliant under your fingers, and his heart skips a horrid beat amongst the realization that you trust him enough to let down your walls and be vulnerable with him like this. to let him hold you at your most exhausted, and see you in ways only he can.

“wonu,” you sigh, and shift impossibly closer. his warmth becomes your shared warmth, and the sounds of his friends’ silence in his ear fades to nothingness. “‘m tired,”

“it’s late,” he agrees quietly, apologetic. “sorry.”

you shake your head, rustling against his shoulder, and the content exhale that leaves your lips spreads through his body like a warm breeze. “s’okay. you can finish your game, i know chan must be wondering what’s holding you.”

he huffs a laugh at chan’s quiet affirmative through the headset but can’t bring himself to unpause the game. wonwoo rubs your back soothingly, head resting atop yours, and contemplates going to bed. you’re home now, meaning he could go to bed and rest easy, but…

‘go.’ vernon’s voice shakes him from this thoughts, pulling him back into the present. wonwoo’s gaze falls back to your sleepy form, lashes resting upon your cheeks. ‘i’m sure you’re tired. we’ve got work tomorrow, anyways. go.’

“thanks,” is his quiet reply, mic pulled back in place but still mindful of your tired state. “goodnight, everyone.”

“night,” you add, voice airy with fatigue, and wonwoo smiles faintly at the sound of soonyoung’s complaints about still being single. removing the headset, he’s quick to log out and hoist your form into his arms and slowly pad across the room to bed.

your arms reach for him the second he lays you down in the comfort of linen sheets, drawing him closer until you curve naturally into each other like two fitted puzzle pieces clicking together. he draws miscellaneous shapes into the back of your shirt, head rested atop yours once more, and with shared murmurs of love, he finally allows himself to drift off.

complete masterlist

taglist (send an ask to be added): @candidupped @kim-jvnkyu @lovingdokyeom @wonublr

2K notes · View notes

loverseon · 2 years

Text

enchanted

genre: regency!au (with some tweaks ofc), (not so)enemies-to-lovers!au, viscount!Jaehyun (kind of slowburn, hurt/comfort elements?, angst? mutual pining, reader is an oldest daughter guys) pairing/s: Jaehyun / Reader (ft Yuta, Johnny & other ocs)

word count: 23k+ (guys. be fr its me we’re talking abt here) tw: reader and jh both have a tense rs w their parents? brief mentions of a parent’s death (not reader/jh’s), reader doesn’t exactly look after herself very well, lmk if I missed out on anything! summary: in a world where marriage is nothing more than an economic proposition, and where a person is no more than what they can offer, you and Jaehyun rediscover what it means to be with each other, in the very essence of the word

a/n: this is really funny cause… so far the fics i have for my ‘tswift for the neos’ discourse are all johnjae…. life is like that, i guess. anyway. 3rd installment! this was a LONG time coming and i rly hope u guys enjoy it! took me a while to get back into the rhythm of writing so thank u all for bearing w my radio silence HAHHA this is based off of enchanted and gold rush (and any other easter eggs you find hehe- i’d love to hear if it reminds u of other tswift songs), reblogs are VERY appreciated!! happy reading loveys~ read this on ao3

You ached for rest. Not the kind that sleep guaranteed, no. This rest you ached for felt much deeper, much further from reach. Much like a stranger you wished to know.

“Do you remember what we discussed?”

Each inhale of yours didn’t seem to satisfy the ache in your chest, feeling as though your ribs were caving in, unsure if it was anxiety or the carriage or your clothing that was making you taste your last meal, and even that seemed like it was ages ago.

“Your posture,” the whisper of your mother brought some of your awareness back to the question she’d asked.

What did you discuss?

You tried to dismiss the impending feeling of doom that grew stronger as you noticed your surroundings, the carriage all of a sudden seeming to be moving too quickly, your grip on your gloves tightening as you tried to recall what your mother was trying to remind you of.

Right.

Be obedient. The carriage rounded the corner, jolting you from the familiar bump in the road. Don’t immediately launch into literary discourses out of panic. Your mother took your gloves out of your weak grip, slipping them onto your hands with an assertiveness that shoved you further into your seat, resisting the urge to shiver at the feeling of her cold hands on your skin. Have good manners. You could now recognise the music echoing from the building, a piece you were sure you’d heard your sister play before. Mind your facial expression. Along with the sound of music, the chatter and giggles intensified. Don’t scribble funny names onto your dance card. You thought about your little sister at home, probably sitting by the window reading a book from your father’s library as she waited for you to return home. You thought about your father who was in his study doing God knows what. As if like a trigger, a wave of clarity washed over you; you’d suddenly felt unfortunately sober.

Find a marriage partner.

Keep reading

1K notes · View notes

loverseon · 2 years

Text

behind the net!┊nishimura riki

SYNOPSIS ! expecting a suspension at most after punching your friend’s bully, you found yourself being assigned as the new boys soccer team manager. not only did you know absolutely nothing about sports, but you now had to deal with nishimura riki, the team’s star winger, absolutely hating your guts. you’d never believe someone if they told you you’d soon be enjoying your new role as manager, and dating nishimura riki, all in the same month.

PAIRING ! soccerplayer!nishimura riki x manager!f!reader

WC ! 9.8k

GENRE ! e2l, high school au, fluff, slight angst

WARNINGS ! yn punches someone, you also get punched and knocked out, lmk if there’s more

a/n: hi loves! keep in mind this is my first long lengthed fic, so it may not be perfect. i still had fun with it though, so bare with me as i learn and experiment! i hope you enjoy soccer player niki as he took me lots of time and preparing <3

choi beomgyu talks too much.

you don’t know if you’d consider the puppy-faced boy a friend; the only time you get to see him is near the end of lunch break at his locker which is found right next to yours, yet somehow, he manages to tell you all the gossip around the school in those few minutes of grabbing supplies for next period. today seemed to be no different.

“—i swear i saw them making out in the boy’s bathroom, but you didn’t hear that from me. anyways, did you know that kim jisoo from the grade above us is leaving? i knew her parents were like, having some issues n’ stuff, but apparently..”

sometimes, you just have to tune choi beomgyu out. occasionally, you offer a quick ‘mhm’ or ‘wow’ to ensure him you’re absolutely enthralled by his stories, even though in reality you’d rather be sticking a kazoo up your ear.

“—so yeah, i just feel bad for her. oh,” beomgyu pauses his movements in his locker, strangely focused on something to his right. “looks like chelsea’s messing with byeol again.”

“mhm,” you add absentmindedly, shoving your binder under your arm.

wait, what did choi beomgyu just say?

you snap your head to your locker buddy, frantically walking around him to follow his gaze. “hold on, what?”

byeol has been your best friend since you both met in the school’s photography club. you always had each other’s back, it was known to everyone that the two of you were close by the way you were almost always found together at breaks. however, you couldn’t always be there for byeol. your friend has been getting harassed by this ‘chelsea’ chick for weeks, all because byeol had submitted a photo to the school newspaper where she was in the background, making a rather unattractive face.

no matter how many times byeol apologized for the mistake, chelsea refused to forgive her for ‘ruining her high status’ around school. petty insults in the halls, taking revenge pictures of her in class, pushing disguised as ‘friendly nudges’,and much more were daily occurrences you had to witness your poor friend go through.

“why can’t you just report her?” you had asked one day.

“because y/n. snitches get stitches, everyone knows that.”

well, it definitely seemed like she was going to be getting stitches, snitching or not. you could barely make out byeol’s chestnut brown hair pressed against a locker, chelsea standing menacingly in front of her. other students were slowly forming an audience around the two, some pulling out their phones and whispering to their friends. you quickly readjusted the books in your arms, speed walking over to the girls.

“oh, bye y/n!” beomgyu calls from somewhere in the background, cluelessly unaware of the fuming expression slowly creeping up your face.

by the time you reach your best friend, chelsea has her nailed to the locker, repeatedly pushing her into it. “seriously, you’re so pathetic!” she barks, “can’t even fight back, god.”

your jaw ticks, throwing your stuff to the ground to make your presence known. when byeol notices you, she gasps, frantically throwing her hands up. “y/n! i-i can explain—“ you gently move her to the side, walking up to chelsea, and before you stop to think about the consequences, throw a solid punch to her chin.

gasps and screams circulate the halls as the students watch you glare down at your classmate who has now fallen to the ground from your jab. chelsea lets out a strangled cry, hiding her face and cradling her slowly bruising chin in her hand. “what the hell, y/n! why would you do that?!” byeol yelps to your emotionless face, shaking your shoulder.

satisfied, you grab byeol’s wrist, dragging her next to you to pick up your stuff. you ignore the many recording phones following your steps, focusing on the floor tiles in front of you. “c’mon bee, we have chemistry.”

byeol nearly trips trying to keep up with your pace, gawking at your side profile in utter shock. “h-hey! don’t call me that cute name after you just punched someone! and not just anyone, y/n. that was kim chelsea, you do know that right you crazy idiot!? you might get suspended!”

you finally let out a sigh, looking at the girl blankly as you continue walking to your class as if nothing happened. “what was i supposed to do, byeol? watch my best friend let herself get walked on like every other day?”

“w-well, she had a reason this time. i forgot to buy her lunch.”

you scoff in disbelief, “nice one.”

“no, seriously, y/n! it’s my way of paying back for that awful picture in th—“

“in the newspaper,” you recite with a roll of your eyes, “from like three weeks ago! jesus, bee. nobody fucking cares anymore but her! she has no right to treat you like dogshit even when you’ve apologized a gazillion times now.”

byeol scratches her head nervously, staring down at her neatly strapped shoes. “was that really three weeks ago? aish,” she huffs.

L/N Y/N, PLEASE REPORT TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.

“oh no,” byeol mutters, suddenly reaching over and shaking both of your shoulders aggressively, “y/n you big nincompoop, look what you’ve done! if you get expelled i’m gonna be all alone in this hellhole!”

you giggle slightly, finding yourself a bit too calm even for your standards as you place your own hands on top of hers comfortingly. “don’t worry, i’m a top student, they wouldn’t do that. i’ll probably be back here in like, five minutes okay? there’s no punishment that can bother me.”

add that to the list of famous last words.

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

“i never thought i’d see you here, miss l/n.” the principal sighs, watching you settle down in the chair across from her.

“i’m sorry,” you pause for a moment before correcting yourself, “i’m sorry for disappointing you, mrs. lee.”

the woman raises an eyebrow at that, calmly lacing her ring-attired fingers on her desk. “i see. so you’re not sorry to chelsea, who is currently getting treated by the school nurses?”

“no ma’am. i would never harm anybody without a good reason.” you choose your worlds carefully, as it is not your position to be the one to tattle on chelsea, no matter how much your desires tell you to. a picture of byeol flashes through your head. your poor, naive best friend. you think any punishment would be worth helping her.

the principal seems to catch your memo quickly, nodding in understanding. “i believe you, y/n, and i can trust that you understand what you did was wrong. however, a punch is a punch, and your actions have consequences.”

“i understand too, and i’m ready to take whatever it is,” you reply confidently, nodding to the older woman in anticipation.

at your words, mrs. lee reaches next to her and opens up a yellow portfolio, holding it tightly in her hands. “very well. i decided to hold off on a suspension, as luckily enough, there was something else that desperately required someone responsible, organized, and smart like you, dear.” you curiously raise an eyebrow at that, watching as she opens up the portfolio and slides it across the desk to you. “to atone for your incident with chelsea, you will become the new boys soccer team manager.”

you freeze, unable to comprehend what was just said. you were ready to clean the bathrooms for the next few months, have detention every day for the semester, maybe clean up the mess everyday in the cafeteria. there was no way you just heard what you thought you did. in a last ditch prayer, you swallow. “i-i’m sorry, what was that?“

you swear you see the evil woman’s lips quirk a bit in some kind of amusement. “you will be the new boys soccer team manager for the year. the season starts in only three weeks, and it’d be much too difficult for mr. kwang to run the team without any help.”

did she say the year? “but- but ma’am, i don’t know anything about soccer,” you exclaim desperately, examining the papers inside the portfolio. there were all sorts of criteria and things you’d be agreeing to if you signed the contract, including missing full school days to travel with the team and attend games. just the thought of missing class to watch a bunch of sweaty, teenage boys kick balls around made you sick to your stomach. perhaps punching kim chelsea wasn’t worth it after all (sorry byeol).

“you’ll learn quickly just like you do academically, dear. and anyway, you’ll mainly be doing other things like preparing advertisements for the team, organising games and practise dates, assisting the team members, and helping mr kwang with anything else he needs,” she lists off on her fingers, gesturing to the ballpoint pen in front of you as a reminder to get signing, as you didn’t exactly have another option.

organising games? preparing advertisements? and what did assisting the team members even mean? you didn’t want to know, or even hear the words ‘boys soccer team’ ever again. yet you found yourself picking up the pen, reluctantly scribbling down your now permanently inked signature onto the dreaded contract.

what on earth did you get yourself into?

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

“you’re the new what?!” you quickly cover byeol’s mouth, hiding her lips from the apple juicebox now being choked in her grasp. the students around the cafeteria glance at the two of you suspiciously, especially curious after the whole chelsea affair.

you remove your hand to reach into your daily bag of animal crackers that you never forget to bring to school, munching away with a glare. “geez, we don’t need the whole school learning my dirty secret that fast.”

“dirty? y/n, don’t you get what this means!?” byeol inquires, looking somewhat envious as she sips her juicebox. you give her a strange look, languidly reaching for your water bottle. “for the whole school year, you get to not only watch, but hang out and talk with the hottest boys in the school! punching chelsea is the best thing you’ve ever done!”

you ponder for a moment, contemplating her words with another handful of crackers. “okay, but it’s not just hot guys, bee. i have to organise and attend every one of their dumb little ball games which also means missing whole school days.” byeol doesn’t seem phased by your response before you add the next part. “and, i probably won’t have time for photography club anymore.”

she deflates at that, reaching her hand into your bag to steal a few crackers for herself. “now that does suck. promise you’ll still try to come to some meetings?”

“no promises.”

her face suddenly brightens again comically, wiggling her eyebrows. “oh and, you have to introduce me to park sunghoon. well actually— introduce me to all of them. but especially park sunghoon!”

you sigh, lazily throwing your now empty cracker bag into the garbage, “you’re too good for those out of control jocks, bee.

byeol quirks her eyebrows to you, pushing her hair back. “we’ll see about that when you end up falling for one of those soccer boys. it’s inescapable being with those handsome faces all year.”

“i’m slightly offended that you think this lowly of me.”

your best friend stands up from the cafeteria bench, giving her juicebox one last, dramatic sip. “fine, but when you do fall in love, remember this conversation!”

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

two days after signing your life away to the soccer team would be your first day meeting them. you were to be at the school’s field right after dismissal for practise, 3:15 sharp. your backpack was all ready, prepared with absolutely anything you may need: a water bottle in case mr kwang decides to make you do any sort of physical activity, your animal crackers (obviously), a flashlight since you weren’t exactly sure how late you’d be at practise, your camera to take pictures for photography club, and much more.

this didn’t exactly mean you were ready though. you had absolutely no idea what you were supposed to do, there was no team manager training courses. and not only were you going to be inspected like a piece of meat by a bunch of attractive boys, but you also had to watch them play soccer all afternoon.

with a million thoughts going through your mind, you make your way closer to the soccer field than you’ve ever been in your life, pushing open the black gate surrounding the perimeter. for whatever reason, there were rows and rows of girls in the bleachers watching the boys practise, all giving you angry, disapproving looks as you step onto the field. the grass is fake, you realise, noticing the bits of black tires hidden in the plastic turf. you’re going to love finding those in every crevice of your poor shoes. when you look up, heat rushes to your cheeks as you meet the eyes of practically the entire soccer team on you, probably wondering why on earth some random girl with a backpack bigger than her has just walked onto their home field.

you scan your eyes over the team, finding a few familiar faces. #19 was sim jaehyun, or jake, who was known for being an absolute playboy, yet still managed to pull a new girl each week. he was quite funny though, you could appreciate his jokes even from afar in class.

when #12 turns around, you immediately recognise the handsome profile of park sunghoon. not only did he play soccer, but he was an amazing figure skater, or so you heard. byeol would probably faint at the sight of him now, dripping with sweat despite practise starting only minutes prior.

that’s definitely lee heeseung, you notice his pink hair miles away paired with his #20 jersey. he was amazing at everything, academic wise he was another top student, yet he still somehow made time to be in almost every sports team the school had to offer, also placing as one of the best players. you wouldn’t be surprised if he had a big role on this team as well.

out of the corner of your eye, you notice a pale boy with black, curly hair staring daggers into your side, soccer ball held between his fingers tightly. when you turn your gaze towards him, he stubbornly whips back around. #10, nishimura, his jersey reads.

“ah, right on time as expected, y/n!” at their coaches loud voice, the team gets even more interested, pausing their movements with the balls at their cleats.

“oh no, another chick from the nerd emporium.” you hear park jay mutter with his hands on his hips.

“i don’t mind the journal club girls. they always get flustered so easily, it’s hilarious. and look, at least she’s pretty cute,” jake shrugs back.

you hold in the urge to roll your eyes, grinning as mr. kwang shakes your hand. “it’s nice to finally meet you,” you chirped.

“no, no! the pleasure is all mine. we’re going to have such a fun year together,” he chortles, bringing you right to the middle of the field. the sudden, loud screech of a whistle makes you jump slightly, observing cautiously as the boys run over like a bunch of herded sheep. they messily form in a line, a few of them mischievously bumping each other's shoulders before they notice your presence, slowly looking you up and down. you gulp. one thing byeol was right about was that they were all hot. and very sweaty.

some of the boys offer you little waves, which you softly offer in return. a few of them smile at you or offer a quick nod when your eyes meet, crossing their arms tightly over the school’s purple jerseys. the nishimura boy from earlier though, looks at you with a bored, almost angry frown, finding the turf more interesting than anything you have to offer.

you don’t get a chance to wonder why when mr. kwang suddenly wraps a big arm around your shoulder. “boys, meet the new member of our team!”

it was silent for a moment, the team all exchanging weird looks. “coach, it’s just another journal club article, right?” a shorter boy with bright red hair and cat-like features asks.

“not quite, captain.” at the nickname, you glance at the bright yellow pad on the red haired boy’s arm. it didn’t take a genius to figure out he must be the team’s captain. “this is l/n y/n, our new team manager!”

“what?” nishimura speaks for the first time, his face finally sparking with some emotion, though he didn’t sound too pleased.

“she’s our manager?” jake points to you with an amused giggle.

mr. kwang proudly ruffles your head, promptly destroying your once tidy hairstyle. “you betcha, sim! for the rest of the year too, so get used to her being around. now, i need to get her organised. keep doing those drills!” he blows the whistle around his neck again, watching as all the boys quickly jog back to their positions. though, you can still feel most of their eyes on your back as you walk over to the bench with their coach.

“so, y/n. i know you don’t exactly want to be here.” when he sees you try to speak up in defense, he raises a hand. “it’s okay, my feelings aren’t hurt.” you both laugh, sitting and watching the boys train around the field. “it’s just, i think you might find yourself enjoying this job if you really give them a try.”

you rest your face on your hand, giving his words a thought. “maybe. it’s just, this is all a bit overwhelming, y’know?”

mr kwang pats your shoulder, “of course it is, and that’s okay. but i’m sure with a few weeks, you’ll get the hang of things and find yourself enjoying it out here on the field! just give the team a chance and make the best out of your new family, okay?” you offer a small nod, watching as he pulls a white whistle and a clipboard out of his duffel bag. “consider this my welcome gift to you,” he announces proudly, offering the items to you.

you quickly take them, looking at the man in surprise. “oh, thank you sir! what’s the whistle for?”

“anytime you need to get their attention, of course,” mr kwang winks, gesturing to the boys. “it’s pretty fun watching them run over to you like a bunch of dogs playing fetch, you’ll see for yourself shortly.” suddenly, he gets up, seemingly remembering something important. “oh, and come with me, dear!”

you swiftly get up to follow him into what seems to be the team’s locker room, throwing your new whistle around your neck in the process. it’s not very tidy; random pairs of knee pads and socks are scattered around the room carelessly, and multiple shorts and jerseys almost make a trail leading all the way to the showers nearby. not to mention it reeked of sweat, and well, teenage boys. mr. kwang quickly notices the disgusted crinkles on your face, laughing out an apology on behalf of the mess.

though your expression quickly turns to one of shock when he continues past the locker rooms and through the hall that leads to two black doors. one reading ‘coach kwang’ and the other reading ‘manager’. the inside was just as surprising, gasping as he ushers you into a neatly organised office with multiple, tidy shelves and a big desk. “what the- is this for me?” you mutter in denial, gripping your clipboard tighter.

mr. kwang smiles, offering you a key attached to a purple lanyard. “yes of course! there is going to be quite a lot of work when it comes to organising the team’s events and advertising games, so this is just a private space that can always be available if needed.”

“thank you so much, i’ll use it well!” you bow gratefully. wait until byeol hears about all this, she’s definitely going to want to see for herself.

after mr kwang led you around the rest of the building and fed you helpful advice along the way, the both of you ended up back outside where the boys seemed to be having a water break.

“there they are!” a cute blonde haired boy you recall as sunoo sings, making the rest of the team’s heads turn to see you.

heeseung is the first to walk up to you, offering his sweaty hand out politely. “it’s nice to meet you, manager,” he says smugly, smirking down at you.

you offer him a challenging tilt of your head, shaking his hand firmly. “you too, lee heeseung.” you do your best to keep up a cool exterior, even though you’re slightly freaking out on the inside from all the attention. this was completely different to the feeling of all the eyes after punching chelsea. it felt more like you were being inspected piece by piece, especially by the nishimura boy, who’s sitting cross legged on the ground with his waterbottle. you’re yet to find out his first name, but you had a feeling he had no interest in telling you by the icy glare he throws your way. what on earth have you ever done to him? you don’t think you even have a single class with the boy, not to mention speaking to him.

“manager,” sim jake calls out your new nickname cockily, pushing his hair back. “out of all of us, who’s the most attractive?”

out of pure instinct, your eyes travel to nishimura for a split second, quickly looking back to jake. damn it, y/n! what was that? out of all the boys, you choose the one that hates you? it was already too late, as the rest of the boys immediately followed your split second glance to their teammate. “niki? seriously manager, i’m way better looking than him,” sunghoon remarks disapprovingly.

you hurriedly raise your hands in defense, “wh-what? i never said i chose him!”

nishimura, or niki, seems almost repulsed by the discussion at hand, still refusing to even look at you as he gives his teammates a disgusted look.

“cute,” jay laughs along with a few others at the growing blush on your cheeks, sipping his water.

suddenly, the red headed captain lets out a sigh, reaching over to pat your shoulder. “you idiots are scaring her, shut up.” he suddenly leans closer to you, warm breath fanning your ear. “welcome to the team. i’m the captain, yang jungwon. i hope we can be friends.” he smirks slightly at the redness of your face before backing up again.

honestly, what was even happening anymore? were you in a drama? a romance webtoon? you originally insisted you were never one to fall for such charms, yet here you were, a flustered mess over a few attractive faces. “uh-“ you gulp, “it’s nice to meet you too— all of you. i’ll do my best to help the team.”

“how’d you become our manager anyway?” heeseung questions, a few of the boys nodding in agreement. at this, niki’s head raises in interest for the first time, awaiting your response carefully.

you swallow nervously, unsure if you should tell them the truth. if they were going to be your ‘family’, you might as well show some honesty. “well uh, no offense, but i’m not here because i want to be. i know nothing about soccer,” you begin.

niki scoffs at that, rolling his eyes, “of course you don’t.” he only glares coldly when jake elbows his side.

“i’m here as a punishment. for-“ you look down, feeling embarrassment about what you did for the first time all because of niki’s scrutiny. “for punching kim chelsea.” sounds of surprise circle the team at your confession, and you watch in worry as niki’s jaw clenches, his fists tightening at his sides as if he’s holding himself back.

do.. niki and chelsea know each other?

“that was you!?” jungwon gasps, nervously checking on his younger, black haired friend. he then walks over to him and whispers something into his ear, soothingly patting his back.

“no way,” jake mutters.

your eyebrows furrow, finally making eye contact with niki for the first time with a sudden urge to defend yourself, “i didn’t do it for fun! i—“

“just be quiet,” niki spits, throwing his blue hoodie and bag over his shoulder before walking off the field, away from the team without another word.

“yah, nishimura! get your ass back here and apologize!” jay barks with no result.

“there’s still twenty minutes of practise, bro!” sunghoon adds.

jungwon only sighs, looking at you pitifully. “sorry about him, it’s.. it’s a long story. i think you two should figure it out alone.”

“i only punched chelsea to defend my friend, who she’s been bullying for weeks straight,” you finish saying what niki didn’t let you, frustratedly pushing your hair back.

the boys seemed flabbergasted by this discovery, exchanging shocked glances. “yeah, you really gotta talk to him,” jake acknowledges.

day one as the soccer team manager, and you think you’d rather be dead.

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

the news of your recently gained title spread like wildfire around school by the next morning. not only were random girls asking you for information about the team members all day, but the boys themselves constantly waved or said hi to you in the halls, earning you a handful of jealous glares from said girls.

you nearly choke in confusion when you open your locker to see about twenty letters piled up in a small mountain, some decorated to grab your attention and stand out more than the rest. you cautiously look around for a moment before grabbing one of the letters, opening it up carefully.

dearest y/n (aka the manager),

i know you don’t know me, but i have handwritten this letter in search of desperate help regarding yang jungwon. what is he like with his friends? does he smell good? he’s an amazing captain to his team, right? please, i have to know what i need to do to reach his heart. shall i prepare flowers and a teddy bear? some new cleats? please send advice, i need to get him to notice me.

sincerely, min yeji.

jesus christ. was this seriously what all these letters were for? you’ve only spent a day with the team so far, and this was the result? how were you supposed to know if jungwon preferred flowers or cleats?

“y/n!” as if your morning couldn’t get worse, the biggest yapper himself, choi beomgyu appears out of thin air. “i heard you’ve been assigned the boys soccer team manager after you got in trouble with the principal for punching-“

“hi beomgyu. yep, thanks for the summary.” you cut in, smiling passive aggressively.

the brown haired boy doesn’t get the memo, smiling back enthusiastically while raising a nosy eyebrow at your letter tower. “you sure are popular now, huh? what’s with all the letters?”

none of your business, choi beomgyu. “yeah, i kinda have a fanclub now.” technically, that wasn’t a lie. in your peripheral vision, a familiar nest of black curls walks by, the same blue hoodie from practice thrown over his uniform. nishimura riki. for some strange reason, you feel a sweep of butterflies rush through you at the sight of the boy who would probably rather spend his time with a wet sock than with you.

‘remember this conversation when you fall in love!’ the teasing voice of byeol snaps you out of your trance, slamming your locker shut and rushing to catch up with him.

“bye, y/n!” beomgyu says in the background once again. his dumb voice truly sounds like deja vu, instead you might be the one getting punched this time around with the face niki makes when he sees you walking next to him.

“the hell do you think you’re doing?” he snarls, speeding up his pace in an attempt to lose you.

“listen, i don’t know why you care about chelsea so much,” shit! why did you start with mentioning her of all things? niki immediately growls in annoyance, purposely pushing through groups of people in the halls. you run to catch up to him, apologising to the students you nudge along the way. “but- but you need to let me explain.”

“get away from me. i don’t need to be seen with someone who hurt my friend out of jealousy,” he states firmly.

you freeze, looking at his expressionless side profile. “jealousy? what are you even talking about? just let me tell you my side. please, niki.”

without even considering your offer or sparing a glance, niki enters his classroom, slamming the door right on your face.

“what the fuck!” you curse furiously under your breath. making a fool out of yourself just for some dumb soccer boy’s approval? what’s your pathetic reputation come to?

no. if nishimura riki wants to try and hate you that bad, then so be it. but you’ll never be one to turn down a challenge.

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

niki hates the fact that through his whole history class, he’s too busy thinking about l/n y/n to process anything that’s being taught. he has never been so interested in a girl before, definitely not someone like you who he was supposed to hate. for some reason, he didn’t like when you laughed and high fived his teammates in the hallways. he didn’t like how you now sat next to jungwon in maths, and he had to deal with seeing you guys whisper in each others ears for the whole hour. and in the hallways just now? you looked so cute running to catch up to him, so desperate to try and get his attention.

guilt rushes through him for thinking of you in such a way. no! that is not why he’s thinking about you. you’re not cute at all.

but what did you want to explain? why you punched one of his closest friends? he already knew everything, chelsea wouldn’t lie to him, right?

he recalls rushing into the school nursing room when he heard what’d happened, wanting to check on his friend. “geez, it’s bruising bad. did you accidentally bite your lip when it happened?” he had asked worriedly, cupping chelsea’s chin as if she were a fragile vase.

she sniffles, holding his wrist in her grip tightly. “mhm, it hurts so bad, ki.”

niki frowns, biting his lip. in his opinion, his friend’s being in pain was more painful than if it was his own. anger flows through him as he continues to inspect the girl’s wound. “who did this?”

“l/n y/n,” she doesn’t hesitate even a bit, eyes turning to slits, “it-it’s cause she’s jealous of me i guess. she always hated me for my looks, i don’t know.”

and ever since that day, niki had gone on a mission to find l/n y/n.

yet the minute he saw you walk on that field with your dumb, giant backpack, he knew he would never be able to punch you back.

niki groans, ruffling his black locks with his free hand while wondering how on earth to get you out of his head.

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

two practises until the season begins and surprisingly, you were getting along with the boys well (apart from a certain someone). you’ve learned a few important things about not only the team members, but also soccer itself: heeseung usually plays a position called striker, which is the highest position on the field and the most common spot for scoring goals. niki and jake were the main left and right wingers, and are usually the ones assisting heeseung in scoring. jungwon explained to you how nobody stays on the field for too long, everyone gets breaks by subbing for each other on and off the bench. you were pretty proud of your growing knowledge of the sport considering you started from nothing, and you were even more excited to show the team what you’d been working on.

ignoring the daily glares of the female spectators on the bleachers, you trail onto the field and over to where the boys are practising. “manager!” jake waves at the sight of you, a big, goofy smile growing on his face. at your nickname, the rest of the boys look up, waving to you as well. niki simply stares at you, rolling his eyes stubbornly.

“hi, y/n!” jungwon greets, kicking the ball at his feet over to you.

you yelp, nearly stumbling over it. “yah, i’m not your teammate!” you awkwardly do your best to boot it back in his general direction, luring an amused chuckle out of the captain. anyone could tell sports were not your thing by that single interaction. “anyways, all of you c’mere.” for the fun of it, you demandingly blow your whistle along the way.

“i think we heard you just fine,” jay teases, watching you set your backpack down on the bench.

sunghoon sighs, crossing his arms. “you know how she gets with the whistle. it’s almost as scary as mr. kwang when someone forgets to turn the showers off.”

“very funny,” you pout, pulling out your clipboard along with a bag of animal crackers.

“so what’re we all here for,” heeseung inquires, “an animal cracker mukbang?” a few snickers are heard around the team as some boys decide to take a seat on the turf.

“geez, you guys are so impatient. here,” you show them the papers you’ve printed, proudly gesturing for jungwon to pass them around.

“what’s this— wait,” jungwon’s eyes widen, scanning the documents over. “y/n, is- aren’t these players from the team we’re going against for our first game?

you smirk, shoving a handful of crackers into your mouth. “yep, spent a few hours researching all about ‘em. their most probable starting lineup, goalie’s weak spots, each players positions and things to watch out for, and more. all on those papers.”

“that’s our manager!” a new voice praises. mr kwang looks pleased as he walks over, placing a hand on your shoulder happily. “very well done, y/n. this will be a big help when planning our strategy.”

“holy shit, this is insane,” jay mutters, flipping through the pages slowly. even niki has nothing to complain about, studying them over his hyung’s shoulder.

“language, and that’s enough. all of you back to your drills! let’s go!” mr. kwang barks, blowing his whistle and winking at you as all the boys practically sprint back to their spots in fear.

the next half an hour you spend writing stats about each of the boys and how they’re playing during practice. every once in a while, one of them will jog over to the bench and you’ll hand them their water bottle, all while stuffing your face with animal crackers (jake stole a few at one point, and you were not pleased).

“water,” a deep voice mumbles. you pause your writing, looking up to find niki staring down at you, all sweaty and wet. the boy looks like an angel, his skin glistening beautifully under the sun as he pushes his moist bangs away from his forehead. for a moment, you just admire him, mouth parted slightly. “geez, get a hold of yourself.” he impatiently makes his way behind you to where the water bottles are, chugging down the refreshment obnoxiously. it almost feels like he’s showing off now, purposely throwing his head back and displaying his adam’s apple as it bobs after every sip.

niki catches your spying as he finishes the drink, scoffing in amusement. “why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

you gulp, sheepishly looking back down at your clipboard. “i wasn’t looking at you.”

“mhm. you have crumbs on your lips by the way,” he comments. you lift a hand to try and wipe them off, but to no avail according to the annoyed look niki sends your way. he rolls his eyes, walking over and bending down in front of you.

oh god, this was bad, very bad. why is he so close? his moles are even more endearing up front, and you can feel his breath fan your face as he lifts a hand to your lips, slowly wiping the crumbs off with his thumb. “need me to do everything for you? i thought you’re my manager.” heat rushes to your cheeks, unable to form a reply.

and with that, niki turns around, walking away as if nothing happened.

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

the next few days flew by with little difficulty— or at least, in the nishimura riki department. you decided to not confront him about his stunt at last practise, but that wasn’t fully your choice; you’ve been discovering the hard way that trying to balance school and being a team manager was like trying to play two instruments at the same time. first you’d have your classes full of new assignments, then you stay after school to get manager work done, and then you go straight from your office to the library to study, and by the time you get home it’s already dark and dinner is left cold on the counter for you.

byeol was not happy with your newly packed schedule either, especially now that photography club was out of the question. but there was no time to worry about your friend now, practise was starting in five minutes and your precious animal crackers were nowhere to be found. the search to find the snack would be much easier if there weren’t hundreds of letters stuffed in your poor locker daily. you were seriously getting sick of throwing out notes asking what perfume park sunghoon used.

“y/n.” that voice sounded awfully, unpleasantly familiar. you whip around from your locker, locking eyes with a frowning kim chelsea.

your eyebrows furrow, inspecting the bruise on her chin. “chelsea.”

she seems to get even angrier at your nonchalant response, eye twitching as she reaches out to shove you against your open locker, making the letters inside sprinkle to the ground. your right shoulder slams against your locker shelf, making you hiss out in pain. “seriously, you want to do this again?” you snarl, now holding your aching shoulder.

“how the hell did you become their manager?” chelsea barks, throwing punch after punch in your direction. her throwing speed clearly isn’t very promising, as it takes you no effort to dodge out of the way before every strike. “yah, tell me!” she screams, moving back as you try to grab her wrists and calm her down.

what’s with the deja vu? students have formed around the both of you again, pulling out their phones and calling their friends over. you swear you can see beomgyu’s fluffy brown hair in the crowd, but he doesn’t look very excited by the fight. he looks almost.. worried for you.

while you’re distracted, chelsea rips her hand away from your restraint, landing a solid punch to your jaw. ouch. as soon as the contact is made, the room starts spinning. it seems you’ve fallen to the ground by the blurry groups of students looking down at you. for some reason, you can’t hear their screams much, almost like you’re underwater. the lights are extra bright now, and everything just keeps twirling around like a beyblade until it all goes black. wait.. is that byeol? you recognise her chocolate hair even if it’s unclear and fuzzy. and hold on.. wasn’t that niki who was kneeling down next to you..? you’re too lightheaded to know for sure.

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

ah, so this is what kim chelsea felt like only a few days prior. your lips were dry and chapped, and you felt like you’ve slept for a week straight. there’s a screaming ache on your right shoulder, and your jaw hurts every time you open your mouth.

oh right, you were shoved. and punched. by kim chelsea.

you smack your lips, pushing yourself up from the school clinic’s bed to find byeol on her phone, kicking her feet in the air like a child next to you. she gasps when she notices your movements, rushing over to your side. “you’re awake! you were out for a whole two hours you big, stupid, idiot.”

you chuckle at her relentless insults, pulling your friend in for a much needed hug. “thanks for staying with me. and what do you mean? this time it was all chelsea.”

“i know, i know, but you always find a way to make me worried! can’t you go just one week without getting in a fight?” byeol complains, reaching down to hold your hand in hers.

“sorry, bee.” shit, realization hits you like lightning. “wait, i missed soccer practise! that was the last practise before our first game this week, and i had so much planned for training and—“

byeol squeezes your hand, laughing at your strange choice of priorities. “y/n, calm down. you literally have injuries all over you, why are you worried about the soccer team? i’m sure they’ll be fine.” byeol suddenly smirks, as if she knows something you don’t. “speaking of, this one black haired boy seemed really worried about you. after he yelled at chelsea for a bit, he piggybacked you all the way here.”

“seriously?” your eyes widen. niki helped you?

byeol nods in confirmation. “i went too, of course! i was like, the most worried about you. just for the record, i was much, much more worried than your boyfriend.” you smack the girl’s arm, making her let out a mischievous snicker. “but yeah. along the way he asked me a bit about what happened, so i told him how chelsea was well- making me buy her lunch and constantly pushing me—“

“bullying you,” you correct sternly.

“yeah,” your friend gulps. “which is why you punched her n’ all that. then he went really quiet. also, he wanted to stay with you but he had practice.”

you sigh. while you made it out with a bruising jaw and sore shoulder, at least niki knows the truth. for some reason, you find yourself beaming at the thought (then proceeding to hiss in pain at the ache in your jaw).

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

four days after chelsea (who hasn’t been seen since) punched you was the next time you saw niki. your shoulder had healed completely, while your jaw was still getting there in due time. over the four days, you’ve been putting up the advertisements you and byeol proudly made to bring in more people to the upcoming game, sticking them to the walls all around school.

“y/n!” for the first time since you’ve met him, niki says your name with an adorable smile on his face. though you were a bit confused, your heart can’t help but beat loudly at his cute expression. he jogs over to you, cheekily throwing an arm around your shoulder. “what’re you doing?”

how could this be the same boy who was so cold to you days prior? “oh, so we’re friends now?” you ask, half serious.

niki swallows, turning his gaze away from you. “look. i’m- i’m really sorry for not giving you a chance to tell your side of the story and being well, a dick. i really should’ve heard you out before treating you like that.”

you nod in approval, looking back down to tape another advertisement to the wall. “it’s okay, practises will be much less tense now without you staring holes into the back of my head.” when you don’t get a response, you open your mouth to speak before you're suddenly pushed against the wall, arms caging you on either sides of your head by the taller boy.

he has a small, cocky smirk on his face at your dumbfounded expression when he leans closer. “y/n?”

your swear your chest is going to explode, butterflies running wild at the sight of niki’s face being only inches from yours. thank god the hallway was empty, or the blush on your cheeks would only get much worse. “ye-yeah?”

he tilts his head, looking down at you with an unreadable glint. “out of curiosity, do you still think i’m the most handsome on my team?”

seriously? what kind of question is that?! you do your best to stay calm, turning your head away from him nervously. “uh, maybe,” you mumble.

niki doesn’t seem to approve of your answer, bringing a hand to pull your chin back towards him. you swear you see his eyes flicker down to your lips for a second, but they’re back to staring straight into your soul before you can act on it. “maybe?“

you know what he wants to hear. “fine. yes, i do. you happy?”

“very. i knew you had a crush on me.” he grins smugly, releasing you from the wall.

“wh- i didn’t say that!” you blush more realizing that you never denied his claim.

niki seems to catch on to this as well, snickering under his breath. “want some help with those?” he gestures to the posters.

that’s how you ended up spending another thirty minutes running around school with niki, laughing and talking as you put up his game’s advertisements.

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

niki tunes out the constant bickering of the boys circulating the changeroom, focusing on tying his cleats. it was finally game day, and he was more than ready to show off in front of you be back on the field with his teammates. it was a home game, so niki had the advantage of being able to start warming up earlier while their opponents were busy driving here. he wondered what you were thinking, probably on the way to the field now. were you excited? did you want to watch him play? were you planning to cheer for him?

suddenly, he’s been smacked on the head with something hard. “ow! what the hell, bro?” he looks down to see the weapon of choice, jake’s knee pad.

“we’ve been trying to get your attention, but you were too busy having your little main character moment.” jay sniggers with a few others, tying on his own cleats.

niki rubs the spot he was hit, cursing. “the fuck are you talking about?”

“don’t try to act all innocent,” sunghoon smirks, pulling off his t-shirt to change into his jersey. “i caught you two lovebirds putting up those posters, giggling and flirting in your own little world~”

niki feels his cheeks heat up slightly, shyly looking back down at his cleats. damn it, how the hell did he not catch sunghoon spying on the both of you? “we weren’t flirting,” he mutters defensively.

“mhm, not even when you pinned her to the wall like in some cringy kdrama?”

jungwon gawks in surprise, “our little niki did what?!”

“with his hands next to her head n’ everything. i’m so proud,” sunghoon laughs teasingly, ruffling the boy’s hair.

niki only groans, hiding his face in his hands shyly. “do you guys ever shut the fuck up?”

“you love us.”

jake wiggles his eyebrows, “true, but he loves y/n more.”

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

you cheerily skip over to the soccer field, humming to the song blasting through your earbuds. ‘it’s more than like, L 다음 또 O 다음 난 yeah! you and i, it’s more than like, what’s after like?’ only moments later you end up turning off your music, as it’s overthrown by the sound of screaming and cheering from the bleachers. there was no school today in celebration of the first soccer game of the season, explaining the rows and rows of students holding signs up and taking pictures. some have jerseys that they’ve bought from the concession, and you send a harsh glare to one girl with niki’s name on hers.

“y/n!” you know that voice anywhere, searching the crowd before finding byeol waving to you, holding a sign with your name on it. it has hearts and little stars all around it, messily colored in with shades of pink and red.

classic byeol, you snicker. “yah, what is that? i’m not the one playing!” you yell over the cheers, secretly feeling your heart burst from adoration.

she smirks proudly, blowing a kiss to you. “i know, i’m only here for you though.”

before you can reply, two arms abruptly pull you backwards into a sturdy chest, warm breath heating your earlobe. “should i be worried about her stealing you from me?”

you turn around in the embrace to find niki smirking down at you, dressed in his black shorts and purple jersey. from the bleachers behind, you hear a few surprised gasps and angry whispers. you raise an eyebrow, “and when did i give you permission to own me in the first place?”

niki grows his signature smirk again, pulling you tighter against his body. “when you admitted to having a crush on me.”

“damn, that was good,” you hear byeol say somewhere in the background.

you scoff, pushing him away (mostly because if you stayed that close to him any longer you’d inevitably explode) and dragging him back to his team, who seems to be in the middle of doing a stretch led by heeseung.

“manager!” sunghoon and jay both grin, eyes narrowing down on your hand intertwined with niki’s.

jungwon easily notices too, but doesn’t comment on it, only smiling cutely as usual. “hi y/n!”

“hey, you guys ready to win?” you grin, releasing niki’s hand to pull out your clipboard. the boy pouts at the loss of contact, reluctantly jogging over to his team to continue stretching.

“never been readier.” jake sighs, completely confident and relaxed.

“great, then let’s do attendance.” you click the back of your pen, beginning to call out the names of every player. “heeseung?”

“here,” he quickly replies as you check off his name.

thankfully, every player on the team seemed to be present as you continued down the list. “and lastly, sunoo.”

“here!”

“perfect,” you praise. something felt wrong, though. like.. something or someone was missing despite the flawless attendance.

“hey guys,” heeseung uttered, watching the opposing team make their way onto the field. “the game starts in five minutes and coach kwang still isn’t here.”

at the striker’s words, everyone frantically looks around, realisation hitting. “shit, you’re right! how did we not notice he was missing before?” jay exclaims.

niki looks at you with desperate eyes. “if we don’t have a coach, doesn’t that mean we have to..”

you gulp, nodding in confirmation. “forfeit.”

“what? it’s the first fucking game of the season, we can’t,” jake wails, ruffling his hair anxiously.

luck clearly wasn’t on your side, as the referee begins making his way over, holding his whistle sternly. “we’re ready to begin, where’s the coach?” he asks, closely scanning his eyes over your team.

the boys all look around awkwardly before jungwon steps up as captain. “uh, we’re actually still waiting for him, sir. do you think we can get an extra few minutes?”

the referee sighs, glancing at his watch. “you have five minutes.”

so you waited. one minute became two, two became four, until time was already up. mr. kwang was nowhere to be found, and you were stressed, so stressed that not even your animal crackers could calm you down. niki laid across the bench, head in your lap with his eyes closed. you massage his scalp, playing with his curly locks in an attempt to calm yourself down while the rest of the boys make themselves busy picking at the turf or lazily dribbling a ball around.

the referee starts making his way back over to you, checking his watch once again. “time’s up. do you have a coach, or are you forfeiting?”

as jungwon opens his mouth to announce the team’s surrender, niki shoots up from his spot on your lap. “we have a coach,” he states confidently. everyone whips their heads over to the boy, watching as he points to you with full determination. “she’s our coach.”

jake and sunghoon burst into laughter, while the others exchange mixed expressions. meanwhile, you’re having a mini panic attack, staring daggers into the side of the boy’s skull. niki expects you to pretend to be a coach? being manager was hard enough, you knew absolutely nothing about coaching! mr. kwang, why are you doing this to me?

“ma’am, is this true?” it was clear the referee was a bit unsure and judging you (which was fair considering you looked more like one of the boy’s nerdy little sister if anything), but there wasn’t much he could do without proof.

you glance at niki, instantly giving in when you see his puppy eyes. “y-yes, i’m their coach.”

“alright then, please send your starting lineup onto the field.”

the millisecond the referee has gained enough distance, the team lets out a synchronized sigh of relief. “i hope you guys know what you’re doing, or this is going to be a disaster,” you scold specifically niki, running a stressed hand through your hair.

“don’t worry manager, we got this under control!” jake chirps, happily running onto the field with the rest of the team following close behind.

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

you don’t know how you’re going to survive watching soccer games all year. you’re praying it isn’t because the boys are trying to figure out most of the plays and strategies without coach kwang’s guidance, but it was a close tie; 1 to 1 with only five minutes left. jungwon and sunoo were doing an amazing job on defense, but the forwards were having just as much trouble as the other team trying to get anywhere close to the net.

you ran out of animal crackers to soothe your worry, so now you were anxiously clicking the back of your pen, watching as the other team sprinted down the field with the ball. the guy chooses to go down the right side of the field and as he approaches, jungwon leers, watching his feet carefully. “c’mon won, you got this,” you mutter under your breath.

the enemy winger suddenly pretend to go right, and as jungwon swiftly plunges out to match his direction, he swerves and runs left, right towards the goal. “shit, shit!” your foot begins tapping, watching jungwon cuss under his breath in defeat. jay, the goalie, your last hope, quickly bends his knees, his gloved hands out in preparation.

sunoo desperately tries to run in and stop him, but it’s too late as the enemy already takes a shot. it was like slow motion, jungwon and sunoo running to try and block the ball with their body, jay jumping to his right and reaching out for the ball milliseconds before it finds the net. “yes!” you cheer, watching your goalie protectively hold the ball to his chest, releasing a stressed exhale.

two minutes on the clock, it was now or never. jay throws the ball towards sunoo, who then passes it on to niki up on left wing. this was probably their last chance to solve the tie before time ran out. niki sprints down the field, getting past the opponents winger before kicking it over to heeseung. the striker runs faster than ever before, speeding right past the defenseman with a focused expression. you were clicking your pen even faster now, glancing back to the clock. 1 minute and 27 seconds remaining. “heeseung!” niki shouts, raising a hand to signal that he was open for a pass. the pink haired boy obeys, kicking the ball over and giving niki the opportunity to shoot.

“please, please niki, you can do this.” you’ve now left your spot on the bench, hovering closer to the sidelines for a better view of the intense match.

just as a defenceman runs in to check him, niki slams the ball up into the air, aiming straight for the left corner. it was so precise, in fact, that not even the goalie could reach high enough to stop it. the minute the ball hit the goal, screams were heard, spectators probably crying, being much too dramatic for a school soccer game yet here you were, hollering in pure joy as niki gets jumped by his teammates with a big goofy smile on his face. and just like that, the buzzer rings loudly with perfect timing, indicating the end of the game and another symphony of happy shouting and applause surrounds the field.

you were so blissed by relief you barely noticed niki pulling away from his teammates to run over and give you a big, sweaty hug. though due to his height, he ends up lifting you off the ground a bit, shaking you around like a stuffed toy. “that- that was amazing!” you hug him back happily. “you were like, like running so fast, and then that guy tried to stop you but totally failed because you were just that good!! and that shot?! the poor goalie had no ch— mmph!” oh. before you could finish your sentence, nishimura riki was already pushing his lips onto yours. they were soft and plush, molding against your own wonderfully under his cute nose that gently brushed yours. his kisses were a bit (very) messy, but it was really just because he was so overjoyed. scoring the winning goal and kissing you in one day? double whammy if you ask him.

you’re the first to pull away, arms still around his neck as you catch your breath. before you can stop to think, the first thought that comes to your head tumbles out of your mouth. “can we do that again?” you inwardly slap yourself out of embarrassment.

the boy bursts into laughter, throwing his head back teasingly. “wow, you really like me.”

you scowl, “no shit, sherlock. but whatever, i guess i’ll go kiss jungwon instead.”

“hey, why am i a part of this lover’s quarrel?” jungwon magically appears behind you with a raised brow, the rest of the team happily following behind.

“manager,” sunghoon interjects, “rate niki’s kisses from one to ten.”

niki groans, “you guys are so annoying.”

“hmm,” you pretend to think, making niki glare at you in offense. “maybe.. a three?” you smirk.

“wh- a three?!” niki whines. the boys burst into laughter, shoving their teammate back and forth. “and i was gonna ask you out,” he pouts sadly.

you tilt your head, pondering for a moment. “if you buy me some animal crackers, maybe i’ll say yes.”

“animal crackers and bowling, then?” he compensates.

you smile, “deal.”

with that, niki fist bumps the air, screaming a victorious “let’s go!” before running to the changeroom. of course, not before kissing you one last time for the road. you chuckle at his childish antics, touching your lips in an attempt to process what’d just happened.

okay, maybe being the soccer team’s manager wouldn’t be too bad.

you’ve reached the end hurray! if you enjoyed, reblogs n’ comments are always very appreciated and motivating for me to keep writing!

perm taglist: @duolingofanaccount @strawberry-sunset-skies @scented-morker @koshinene @boowoowho @sultrybaby

4K notes · View notes

loverseon · 2 years

Text

operation: hot girl summer

PAIRING ▸ vernon chwe x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, humor, summer romance au, best friends to lovers

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, weed consumption, ft. annoying friends seungkwan and chan, vernon is also annoying but in moderation, so much sexual tension!!, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap!), high sex, thigh riding, fingering, vernon has a dog named taco bell

SUMMARY ▸ the summer you started putting more effort into your appearance also happens to be the summer where vernon chwe’s piercing gaze leaves you feeling like you’re floating high up in the clouds.

PLAYLIST ▸ i need u, in the summertime by warren hue, chasu • vintage by niki

WORD COUNT ▸ 4,890 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ hihi !! this is kind of my svtblr debut ?? i just wanted to write a short drabble bc i’m experiencing post concert depression and in my vernon feels rn <//3 LOL i thought of this spontaneously and spent four hours writing it but i hope you guys enjoy!

DURING THE SUMMER FOLLOWING YOUR FRESHMAN YEAR AT COLLEGE, YOU DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR A CHANGE.

After an entire year of wearing the same oversized sweater and denim jeans to your lecture halls and club meetings, you realized it was about time for a wardrobe upgrade. With the money you set aside from your part-time job, you spent the first week of summer buying clothing that accentuated your body type and didn’t make you look like a shapeless blob lost in a sea of fabric.

You also invested in makeup products to practice enhancing your features. Your first few attempts were downright atrocious, but many YouTube tutorials and makeup remover wipes later, you found yourself getting the hang of it.

To be honest, this was mainly spurred by your mid-finals week epiphany that you were the only one in your friend group who still looked like her high school self. Everyone had worked on their image or managed to magically glow up, but you were still stuck with the same style.

Keep reading

4K notes · View notes

loverseon · 2 years

Text

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ෆ

ෆ synopsis: kwon soonyoung loves too hard and falls in love too quickly, accidentally building a (very false!!!) fuckboy image that he can’t seem to get rid of. when his friends talk him out of proposing to a girl he went on 2 dates with, he finally realizes he has a big problem with love. signing up to appear on his university’s most popular youtube talk show to unload his baggage and fix his image? what could possibly go wrong?

ෆ pairing: college student! ksy x reader (gn)

ෆ genre: fluff, humor, romance

ෆ series warnings: anxiety/insecurities, cursing, food/drinks, ksy’s character is extremely 🥺🤧

ෆ status: completed

ෆ started: feb 1st - may 23rd, 2022

ෆ a/n: I noticed that i tend to write a lot along the lines of angst or serious/mature themes so i'm really excited to switch to something more relaxed, fluffy, and feel-good. this is 100% a comfort fic. please let me know if I missed any warnings!

wondernus main masterlist

profiles: [X], [X], [X]

chapters:

0. prologue

1. bag

2. wallet

3. keys

4. phone

5. earphones

6. water bottle

7. glasses

8. reusable straw

9. pens

10. notebook

11. planner

12. receipts

13. lip balm

14. snacks

15. trash

16. textbooks

17. hat

18. umbrella

19. reusable bag

20. watch

21. small pouch

22. vitamins

23. bandages

24. painkillers

25. perfume

26. hand sanitizer

27. hand wipes

28. tissues

29. ear plugs

30. toothpicks

31. cough drops

32. masks

33. spf

34. breath mints

35. folders

36. laptop

37. portable charger

38. calculator

39. charm

40. utensils

41. cushion

42. polaroid

43. dog treats

44. end

bonus chapters:

josh in vegas

himbos

them

3K notes · View notes

loverseon · 2 years

Text

Perfectly Imperfect

❥ pairing: park jongseong (jay) x female reader ❥ genre: one-shot, fluff, angst, romance, childhood friends to lovers, historical!au, regency era!au, high society!au ❥ idols featured: lee jeno (nct dream), lee heeseung (enhypen), lee felix (stray kids), yang jungwon (enhypen) ❥ warnings: mentions of food, kissing, historical inaccuracies (i tried my best, though), mentions of death, let me know if i am missing something ❥word count: 28.1k ❥ Part of The Writing Nook's Regency Collab 'A Season of Refreshments & Courtship'. Keep an eye out for the m.list with all the incredible fics written for this event! ❥ summary: Returning to the city after three years away was a challenge in itself. However, when you decide to join forces with your best friend's brother to help him find a suitable husband for his sister, your world is turned upside down with discoveries, confessions and a change of heart that makes you wonder whether love is enough to conquer it all. ❥ lia’s note: Hello, how are you? First of all, this one-shot is long and I know it. It's the longest one-shot I have ever written and it's even more special because it's for the first collab event of The Writing Nook. I spent the past couple of months working on it and I am so proud of the final result. I hope you enjoy reading it as well, I loved writing it. Please, like/reblog this post if you enjoyed reading it and let me know your thoughts through an ask if you feel like it! As always, happy reading!

[enhypen m.list] ● [join my taglist]

Jay hadn’t expected to be back so soon. Every wall, every room, every decor in this house remembered him of a past that wouldn’t come back and of a future he didn’t want to face. How could he, someone who always ran from responsibilities, be the one in charge of keeping everything in order now?

The past couple of months hadn’t been easy. After having to leave the city abruptly as his father fell extremely ill, Jay, his younger sister and their mother travelled back to their countryside home to keep him company as he recovered. However, and as every doctor always told him, it would be best to prepare for the worst. His health had always been frail but his father never gave up. He did his best for his family and dedicated his life to making everyone around him happy. His wife was the star of his eyes and his children the diamonds in a crown. Beautiful, precious, unmatched. Perfect.

Indeed, they were the perfect family. His mother and younger sister always wore the most beautiful of dresses, made of the most expensive and exquisite fabrics. They always threw the most lavish and talked about balls and soirées, invitations that only the most influential people in society received. They were perfect.

Were. It was in the past.

After Jay became the man of the family, he took on a burden he never intended to take, one he never expected to find. All that love, all that care, all of that giving from his father to the three of them had led them to ruin. They had many debts and Jay was having a hard time keeping track of them all.

The worst part was Jay had to pretend they were still perfect, even to his younger sister. Only he and his mother knew how bad the situation truly was. To everyone else, they should remain perfect.

Not a crack in the perfect family. Not a crack in the perfect family home. Not a crack in the family finances.

Not a crack. Only perfection.

Yet, whenever he glanced at the walls in the city residence, he noticed the cracks and the flaws. He wondered whether he was up for this season’s challenge.

As Jay sat by the desk at his father’s old study, he looked over the account books, writing down the last items he had sold and how much money they made them. Silver cutlery and an old painting. As he looked at the balance, he sighed. It wasn’t much but it would have to do for the time being. In a week’s time, they’d have to sell more items but he wasn’t sure what more he could get rid of.

The door of the study opened and he lifted his eyes to find his mother making her way inside, closing the door. She offered him a polite smile and bowed at him, walking towards the desk. He raised an eyebrow at her before lowering his eyes to the account book.

“Good morning, darling,” she said. “You are up early today.”

He didn’t answer. He grabbed a couple more papers and looked at their values. More dresses for his mother and sister. The little money that had entered their account would soon disappear if they kept buying a new dress every other day.

His mother sighed at Jay’s lack of interest in her arrival and stopped by the window, glancing at the view outside. He leaned back, upset that she had blocked the only source of light in this room.

“What is it, mother?”

“We were invited to a ball happening tonight.” She turned to face Jay. “All of us are required to attend.”

“I am not interested.” He crossed his arms. “My goal this season is for my sister to be married. I don’t think me being around while other men court her is a good idea.”

“It would do you well, darling,” his mother added, walking towards one of the seats across from Jay and sitting down. She reached her hand towards his and smiled. “It has been far too long since you’ve been to a social event, and people have started to take notice. I have run out of excuses to give. Besides, your sister would love to have you around.”

Jay couldn’t refute that. He and his sister have always been close and he knew how much she dreaded these social events, especially now that she was older and had been out into society for quite some time. At least, when they were young, they could dance together or hide together, but now they had different obligations.

She had to find a husband. He had to keep this family afloat. Still, a little entertainment wouldn’t do him any harm. He wouldn’t require any new attire and this way, he could ease his mother’s worries while also keeping an eye on the young men courting his sister. Just because he wasn’t there didn’t mean he didn’t care.

After all, Jay wanted his sister to find a good, loving husband. He wanted her to have a good life and be happy. He wanted her to have a good and stable future. That was what she deserved. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Still, for that to happen, it was important that no one would find out about their financial situation. If Jay went, he’d have to keep the appearances that everything was more than alright and that their family continued to be just as perfect as ever.

“I will consider your request. But,” he raised an eyebrow, “do not try to introduce me to any young lady tonight. I will be there to make my sister feel at ease and to keep you company. I am not there to court anyone. Are we clear about that?”

The smile on his mother’s face faded slightly. He knew her intentions were always hidden but he had to make sure she wouldn’t try to make him the centre of attention tonight.

Now that he was a Viscount, people started to take notice of him. Still, what they wanted - money, stability - Jay could no longer provide. He wasn’t even sure if he’d ever be able to love anyone. A while ago, a marriage of convenience wasn’t such a bad idea to him. But now, when he had nothing to offer but himself, such ideas were no longer viable. And love was certainly the least realistic idea of them all. No woman would marry him for love when he had nothing to give to her.

“At least, make sure you enjoy your time there.” His mother stood from the seat and bowed to him. “I will let you be now. Just make sure you don’t forget about this ball.”

“I won’t.” She would make sure of it. “Have a good day, mother.”

“You too, darling.”

He waited until his mother was out of the study to let out a deep breath and loosened the cravat around his neck. When he glanced at the task at hand, he shook his head in despair. He had so much to do, and yet, so little time. And tonight, he’d find himself in a ballroom after so long, laughing with people he couldn’t relate to, dancing with women he didn’t connect with.

It would be boring and a challenge. Still, maybe his mother was right.

Maybe it would do him well, even if Jay didn’t know exactly how.

— 🤎 —

When the carriage stopped in front of the Yang residence, you couldn’t hide your surprise. The entrance had been beautifully decorated with purple, yellow and white, flowers all cascading down in twirls on the handles of the stairs. Inside, the small orchestra played a soft melody that filled your heart with joy and it didn’t take long for a smile to return to your face.

Your first ball. After being away from the city for so long, here you were, at your first official ball as a lady out in society.

“I would close my mouth, if I were you,” Heeseung said as he looked over your shoulder, through the small window too. He chuckled. “How are those flowers still so fresh? I have to ask who their gardener is because our flowers never look this exquisite.”

“I am sure they won’t reveal their precious secrets.” You turned to face him and gulped. Your heart was jumping in your chest reaching every part of your body with excitement. “What should I expect from a ball?”

“Boring conversations, hideous headpieces and terrible dancers?” You rolled your eyes at him and he leaned back on his seat, fixing his cufflinks and cravat. “The food tends to be good and the music can be enjoyable… under the right circumstances.”

“And by that you mean…?”

“What Heeseung means,” your mother interjected the conversation, giving you a kind smile, “is that you should enjoy yourself and what the hosts have to offer. Remember to be polite and kind.”

“And if anyone makes any inappropriate comment towards our family,” Heeseung’s father added, glancing at you, “do not engage. Smile politely and ignore. You are worthy of only the greatest of things, Y/N. No one should make you feel any less than that.” He turned to face his son and smiled. “And you, too, shouldn’t expect any less than respect or kindness. If people can’t accept those, they aren’t worthy of your heart.”

“Thank you for the reminder, father.” Heeseung bowed to his father and smiled as the four of you exchanged worried looks between one another.

It had been three years since you last had been to this place. When your mother decided to marry Heeseung’s father, everyone saw that as a scandal and shunned the four of you from society. Ever since then, it was hard for you to receive any invitations to social events - no one wanted any of you around for reasons none of you could comprehend.

Still, you all knew the words you didn’t speak out loud. It was a risk to be here, to come back after three years. People could have forgotten about you but as soon as you walked through those doors, all the old gossip and rumours would resurface.

The widow that married again for love. The family that wanted to be seen as perfect but was already too broken, to begin with. It was exhausting but you knew this was only the beginning. You just didn’t know how they would paint you this time.

Would you be desperate, naive? Or would you be lovely, assertive? The truth was, you couldn’t guide yourself through what others thought of you. You had to carve your own path, you had to become your own person. And all of that started tonight, at this ball.

“Are you certain about this, mother?” You asked. “If you aren’t-”

“My burden is not yours to carry, my love,” she said calmly, resting her hand on her husband’s leg. She smiled fondly at him before turning her attention back to you and Heeseung. “You should both enjoy yourselves tonight. Remember you can keep each other company if no one seems interesting enough to dance with or chat with. We will be back to pick you up later. Do not worry about us both. Embrace tonight as a new start for you both.”

“We will,” Heeseung answered, offering her a polite smile. “And we will share with you both the incredible gossip we will find out tonight. That will certainly keep us busy throughout breakfast tomorrow, won’t it?”

You rolled your eyes at Heeseung’s remark but it relaxed the atmosphere. Thankfully, you’d have him by your side to help and guide you through tonight. Of the two of you, he was the one with more experience in these sorts of events.

“Well,” Heeseung’s father banged on the ceiling of the carriage, “off you go.”

It didn’t take long before the two of you were out of the carriage, face to face with the grandiosity of the Yang’s residency. You shivered slightly - maybe because of the soft breeze running or your fear - and glanced at Heeseung, looking for a reassuring smile. Instead, you found him admiring the building with happy eyes and a charming smile. He nodded proudly at the flowers, still amazed by their freshness.

“This is what I call a phenomenal entrance. It tells you everything you need to know about tonight. Incredible.”

He rubbed both of his hands together, a satisfied grin taking shape on his face. You raised an eyebrow and glanced between him and the flowers on the stairs, wondering what your now brother saw.

“It’s only flowers, Heeseung,” you said, confused. “What could they possibly tell us?”

“That they care.” He fixed the cravat on his neck and extended his arm to you and you intertwined yours in his. “Appearances are important to them, what we think matters. And that means they will go above and beyond to surpass our expectations.”

“I see.” You nodded and the two of you started to climb the stairs carefully. It was hard to ignore the soft scent of the flowers or the music that already played inside.

The closer you got to the front door, the more your heart pounded in your chest. Suddenly, you were too small in front of this residence. Your dress wasn’t appropriate; you should have dressed up better. Even all of your training didn’t feel like enough. What if you messed up tonight? You couldn’t afford that. The rest of the season was at stake here.

“You will do well, Y/N,” Heeseung said, offering you a reassuring smile. “You are charming, kind and polite. All you have to do tonight is be yourself.”

“We both know I am not all of those things.” You let out a soft laugh and glanced at the residence’s front once more and took a deep breath. “But I’ll try to be them all tonight. Charming. Kind. Polite.” You nodded, invoking all of the confidence you had lost merely seconds ago. “I can certainly do this.”

“Of course, you can. Now, more than ever. Besides,” he moved closer to you and whispered, “we can always dance together and ignore everyone else. Or eat.”

You let out a soft laugh and smiled at Heeseung who guided you closer to the front door. You swiftly fixed your posture, as the servants bowed to you, a gesture you reciprocated. After checking your invitation, they opened the large doors to the two of you and you stepped inside, walking at a pace comfortable to the two of you.

Soon enough, you were drowned in the muffled conversations, suppressed giggles and curious looks. Heeseung scanned his surroundings as you kept your posture, smiling at the people who glanced at you, lowering your head softly as a way to greet them, never breaking eye contact.

They all turned their back on you, whispering amongst themselves, throwing doubtful looks your way. Heeseung chuckled and sighed, apparently unbothered by what was happening.

“I am certain they are already creating our story,” he said, frowning afterwards. “They will all be very wrong about it, I’m sure. Oh, I can’t wait to read tomorrow’s gazette. The gossip will be highly amusing.”

You chuckled, glancing at the tall, bold chandeliers. The precious stones reflected the light from the lit candles, their flames dancing swiftly at the rhythm of the music. At the centre of the ballroom, couples danced together, spinning and changing partners, while chatting amongst themselves and the musicians at the back of the room played exciting and fun melodies. To your left, tall windows gave a view of a garden you couldn’t quite see the end of, but you suspected was just as big as this house. The night view made it sombre and mysterious, but you wanted to get a closer look to admire its beauty in the moonlight.

“The hosts are approaching,” Heeseung whispered in your ear. “Prepare the compliments for me, please.”

Heeseung may have a charming smile and a delightful humour, but his vocabulary was lacking in regards to making people feel grand and admired. He knew how to compliment people - he did it often to you - but to strangers was a different story. His words carried meaning, he never used them vaguely. He prided himself in that.

“Just to refrain your memory,” he said in between his teeth, as the hosts approached, “Lord Yang has a son, Jungwon. His wife is very polite, but she will read you like a book. If she approves of you, she will insist you dance with her son. If she does not, she will suggest that you explore the ballroom and greet other people.”

“What about you?” You asked, curiously. “And which option should I look forward to?”

Your answer never came. Heeseung’s polite smile returned and he bowed to the three people approaching, all of them wearing exquisite garments. The woman, in particular, wore an ostentatious necklace on her chest, with red rubies to match her dress.

“Lord Heeseung. Lady Y/N.” The old man bowed to both of you, resting a hand over his heart. “I am very happy to see you here.”

“Likewise, Lord Yang.” Heeseung bowed and you curtsied, keeping your head down for a while. “We were very pleased to receive an invitation to attend this ball.”

“It is a beautiful location,” you said, smiling at the woman in front of you. “We were amazed by the flowers outside. The atmosphere here is quite lovely.”

“I am glad, Lady Y/N.” The woman said, keeping her gaze narrowed on you as her eyes went from the bottom of your dress to your eyes. She smiled coldly. “How is your mother doing? Will she not be in attendance tonight?”

“She is not, I’m afraid.” You gulped, glancing at Heeseung. You knew these questions would be common tonight, but you would never get used to them. “Travelling from the countryside to the city has left her tremendously tired.”

“They do hope to come at a later date after everything has settled.”

“I’m sure.” The woman nodded, the smile never fading from her lips. However, she didn’t feel warm or kind. All of this only made you want to leave. “There is certainly a lot to settle now, isn’t there?”

You let out a soft chuckle and nodded, unsure of what to say anymore. Her words carried such disdain, you wondered if she had wanted you here in the first place. Her husband, however, was delighted to be reunited with Heeseung as was his son who shook Heeseung’s hand excitedly, already making plans for the horse races happening soon and inviting him to join him at the local gentlemen’s club.

Heeseung quickly got immersed in the conversation with Jungwon, ignoring everyone around him. The Yang couple excused themselves and, after a while, you too tried to find an excuse to leave this conversation. As much as you enjoyed Heeseung and his company, whenever he started to talk about his hobbies, you simply couldn’t keep up.

“I will explore the room a bit,” you announced to Heeseung who nodded at you. When you glanced at Jungwon, you offered him your best smile. “It was wonderful to make your acquaintance, Lord Jungwon.”

Slowly, you started to walk away from Heeseung towards the unknown. You glanced at the middle of the room, slowing down to admire the pairs as they danced with each other with swift movements. Everyone knew the routine by heart, always chatting mindlessly while moving carelessly through the ballroom.

This was something you were looking forward to doing: to be able to dance with someone other than Heeseung. You were looking forward to getting to know some new people and you always found it easy when you did it while dancing.

The music came to a halt and the guests stopped on their feet, bowing to one another before parting ways to mingle at the sides of the room with their acquaintances. You were sure some of them went to boast about who they had danced with while others did the opposite, ready to avoid them for the rest of the evening and perhaps, the rest of the season.

As the new pairs got ready for the next dance, you glanced at the dance card near your wrist and sighed, trying not to let your smile fade away. Maybe, you shouldn’t have picked it up at the entrance. You were certain no one would invite you to dance tonight. After all, for the ones who didn’t know you, you weren’t important enough. And for the ones who remembered you, you were someone they should avoid.

It didn’t take long for the music to start again, a similar melody in tone and energy, but different enough for the routine in the centre to change slightly. You started to walk again, keeping your hands in front of your dress, glancing over your shoulder to find Heeseung laughing happily with a drink already in his hand, surrounded by people who you did not recognise but you knew were very happy to see him.

For a moment, you wondered if Heeseung had been away from the city at all these past social seasons. No one avoided greeting him, shaking his hand or even chatting with him. You, on the other hand, whenever you offered someone a smile or attempted to introduce yourself were shunned and ignored, kept out of every conversation. All you could do at this ball was remain near a wall, watching as everyone else had fun but you, despite your best wishes to enjoy your time here.

“This is such a boring party, mama.” Someone said near you, walking away from the centre of the room after the music stopped again. “Could we leave now? I already danced with three gentlemen as you requested.”

“We should stay for a while longer, darling. Your dance card isn’t full yet. Perhaps some more gentlemen would like to join you for a dance?”

“If they do, I will refuse.” The young lady sighed, using her gloved hand as a fan, her eyes pleading desperately. “If I stay any longer I may fall ill, mama.”

“If you stay longer, you might find the man you will marry.” The woman offered her daughter a kind smile and caressed her cheek softly. “We will leave in a bit, after a couple more dances.”

The young lady sighed and crossed her arms, a pout forming on her lips. You kept an amusing smile to yourself, your memories taking you back to your best friend - with whom you had lost contact once your mother married Heeseung’s father - who always sulked whenever she didn’t have it her way. You missed her dearly and you hoped she and her older brother were doing well.

“If I have to dance, then my brother should have to dance as well, mama. He is not even talking with other gentlemen. He is just… here. Aren’t you bored too?” Her last words sounded like a challenge.

You glanced slightly at the trio next to you, trying to read the expression of the brother as he pondered his sister’s words. His lips parted slightly as he glanced between his sister and his mother, pursing his lips afterwards. You narrowed your eyes on him, certain you had seen him somewhere. His eyes, why were they so engraved in your memory?

“I feel very fulfilled just being here, sister.” He fixed his cravat and offered his sister a smile. “Two more dances and we’ll leave.”

His voice was deep and rich, but the softness it carried brought you back to your childhood days. And his smile, that, you hadn’t forgotten.

Your eyes widened as you stared at him, unsure of what to do. You considered leaving towards the table of refreshments at the back, but your feet prevented you from doing so. When you finally regained your composure and got ready to walk away, someone placed a hand on your shoulder and pulled you towards them.

“If I have to dance, then you will dance with her too.”

You glanced in between the young lady holding you and the person who she was staring at, her brother. A soft sigh escaped your lips as you tried to regain your composure, but she didn’t let go of you. Your heart jumped in your chest, your cheeks grew warmer, and you knew whatever would happen next wouldn’t be pleasant.

He kept an amused smile on his lips, challenging his sister with his stare. The old woman was still in shock, unsure of what to do. Everyone around the four of you ignored the scene and you were thankful for that. This was not how you intended your evening to go.

“Have you asked the young lady if she wishes to dance with me?” He took a deep breath, shaking his head slightly. “Isn’t this a bit too childish on your part?”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself, brother?” His sister scoffed, glancing at you. She offered you a smile. “Please, say yes to him. I am sure you are a delightful lady but give him a hard time, please? We must stick together, after all.”

You nodded shyly, returning a small smile to her. When you turned to face the man you should say yes to, he rolled his eyes and when his gaze fell on you, the amused smile faded and the shock and confusion took over his expression. Did he remember you?

“Lady Y/N?” He whispered as he narrowed his eyes on you. “Is it you?”

“Y/N?” His sister repeated, taking a look at you and rolling her eyes. “She’s not- Y/N…?”

Her hand left your shoulder as she covered her mouth to suppress a slight gasp, her eyes wide as she looked at you. Was she happy you were back? Was she glad to see you here? Was she cursing your name in her mind for leaving her without a proper goodbye? Questions you’d probably have no answers to. At least, not right now.

You cleared your throat and bowed to the three of them, regaining your composure as you glanced at the marble floor under your feet. When you saw their expressions again, you smiled, your eyes jumping from Jay to his sister and to their mother who by now knew exactly who you were.

“It’s me, yes,” you said and your best friend sustained her breath, fanning herself too fast. You gulped. “It’s wonderful to see you all again after all these years.”

— 🤎 —

As much as Jay tried to keep his eyes away from you, he couldn’t. He was thankful for his sister who excitedly asked you questions, keeping you distracted from his attention on you.

He still couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening. After all these years, you were back. After all these years, you were now out into society, and you had certainly flourished. The most surprising flower at this ball, Jay allowed himself to think. Not for long, though. He wasn’t looking for a woman to marry at this ball.

“Ah, I am so happy you are back, Y/N.” His sister held your hands gleefully, keeping a bright smile on her features. “Finally, I’ll have someone to chat with at these events who truly understands me.”

She glanced at Jay and he cleared his throat, lowering his eyes to the ground as you glanced back at him. When he lifted his eyes to meet you again, you chuckled and shrugged slightly.

“I’m uncertain if I’ll be able to join you at such events. This was the first time we were invited and we are very honoured to be here.”

He wondered how long you had been in the city before your paths crossed here tonight. Maybe people didn’t know you were back, like him. Or maybe, you didn’t want them to know you were back. But if that was the case, why were you here?

“I hope people start to invite you, Y/N.” His sister continued, wrapping her arm in yours, ready to depart the conversation. “We should get some refreshments so we can continue our conversation.”

The music on the dance floor came to a stop and the people stopped dancing, saying their goodbyes once more. You glanced at the centre of the room, a bittersweet smile on your lips as your fingers traced your dance card, looking down at it.

Jay gulped and cleared his throat, his hands always behind his back. When he looked at his mother, her observant eyes had been on him all of this time. She raised an eyebrow at him and gestured to you with her head discreetly while mouthing the words “ask her”. He wanted to shake his head and refuse his mother’s suggestion but when he returned to his senses, he was taking a few steps toward you.

“Perhaps you’d like to join me for a dance, Lady Y/N?”

His sister scoffed. You, on the other hand, smiled at him.

“Can’t you see that I am trying to have a conversation with my best friend, brother? You could ask any other lady to join you for a dance, why are you choosing her?”

“I can join you for refreshments, dear,” Jay’s mother said, keeping a polite smile. “Y/N can always visit us some other day for tea or even lunch so the two of you can catch up on all the time you’ve been apart.”

“But I want to have a chat with Y/N now, mama.” His sister pouted and crossed her arms. “Who am I supposed to whine about all these terrible gentlemen? You? My brother?”

Seeing everyone get ready on the dance floor, Jay didn’t think twice and extended a hand your way, matching the smile you reciprocated him.

“Would you like to join me for a dance, Lady Y/N?”

Your eyes jumped between Jay’s hand and his eyes several times, his heart jumping in his chest. He had remained this entire evening without asking any Lady to join him for a dance, refusing to do so even after all of his mother’s requests. And now that he had asked someone to join him, he couldn’t ignore the fear of rejection and embarrassment slowly pulsing through him.

“I’d be delighted, my Lord.”

As your gloved hand found Jay’s, you bowed at him and he lowered his head, guiding you to the centre of the room. You turned to face him and rested your other hand on his shoulder, and he shyly placed his hand on your back, pulling you slightly closer to him.

While the two of you waited for the song to start playing, your eyes traced Jay’s features and he couldn’t avoid doing the same to you. Much had changed since the last time he had seen you and now that he was this close to you, he could see those changes more clearly. Still, your beauty and soothing aura hadn’t faded at all. If anything, he found you prettier now.

“You’ve grown taller,” you said, smiling at him. “How have you been, my Lord?”

The music started, a similar rhythm to the previous songs the musicians had played, and the two of you started to dance. Jay guided you through the room effortlessly, spinning you every once in a while, only to retrieve you back in his arms for a while longer. Whenever you were close, he took the opportunity to chat with you, trying his best to remember the steps while avoiding getting lost in the thoughts that kept bothering him.

“I have been doing mostly well. Ever since I became a Viscount everything has been harder than I expected…”

“I’ve heard about your father’s passing.” Your smile faded slightly and he couldn’t bear the pain your eyes carried. “My deepest condolences, my Lord.”

He gulped and nodded slightly, avoiding looking at you. It was time for another spin so he let go of you briefly, your hand returning to his shoulder after a while. When Jay glanced at the room around him, he noticed people staring at the two of you, whispering to themselves. Had they done something wrong?

“How have you been?” He asked, focusing his attention on you. He chuckled. “I must admit I am not great at keeping conversations going.”

“I have been well. Returning to the city after all of this time has been… strange. I thought I would have been forgotten but apparently, I was not. And yet, no one seems to want to have anything to do with me.”

He knew what you were referring to. When you left, you didn’t say a proper goodbye to anyone and, for a while, he wasn’t sure as to why. Then, he started to pick up on the rumours until he eventually confronted his mother about it. That was when his parents told him the truth and he had wondered about your well-being ever since.

You spun one last time before the melody stopped and the two of you stayed in your places, curtsying to one another.

“Thank you for inviting me to dance, my Lord,” you said with a bright smile. “It was an honour and it was wonderful to be in your company.”

“Likewise, Lady Y/N. Perhaps-”

Jay didn’t finish. Before he could, someone was calling you from the side of the room, shaking their arm in the air with a bright smile and gesturing you to join them.

“Heeseung…” You said under your breath, turning to face Jay one more time with an apologetic look. “I wish I could join you for another dance but someone awaits me. Perhaps we could dance together some other time if the opportunity arises?”

“Of course.” He let go of your hand and rested it over his heart, lowering his head to you. “I look forward to our next encounter, Lady Y/N.”

“Likewise, my Lord.”

You started to walk away from Jay towards the person who had called you and he sighed, making his way back to his mother and sister who both had very different expressions to greet him.

“Was it such a terrible thing to have to dance with someone?” His mother asked but Jay knew this was a trick question. If he said no, she would request him to dance some more. If he said yes, he’d be lying too. After all, he had enjoyed dancing. However, that was because he had the honour to dance with you.

“I am not particularly fond of dancing,” Jay said, offering his mother a happy smile. “But Lady Y/N allowed it to be not terrible.”

“Y/N makes everything better. Too bad I can’t talk to her now because she is chatting with some gentlemen.” His sister frowned and glared at Jay. “I hope you are happy, brother.”

“About what?”

His sister stormed off towards the refreshments table and Jay stayed behind, next to his mother, glancing your way. You chatted with two gentlemen, one who smiled charmingly at you and made you laugh and another one who tried to charm his way into your life, leaving you slightly flustered by planting a kiss on your hand.

“Your sister isn’t the only one who could get married this season.”

“My sister’s marriage is my priority this season.” Jay turned to face his mother with a serious expression. “I am not looking for marriage, mother.”

“You have made that very clear. But all of those wishes and promises were made before tonight, weren’t they? What if they changed?”

Once again, Jay’s mother was leading him down a road he was afraid he’d never return from. Tonight, you being back, him dancing with you, that didn’t change his priorities for his season. He wouldn’t get any richer and his sister needed to find a husband to ensure she’d continue to have the quality of life she was accustomed to. Nothing about tonight changed that.

However, tonight might change the way Jay went about all of this. After all, his sister trusted you and Jay trusted your judgement. If there was someone who had always been a good judge of character, it had been you. Maybe, you could assist him in finding a good husband for his sister.

He smiled, making his way towards the refreshments table, pleased with his plan. Tonight hadn’t been a waste of time, after all. Besides, Jay saw himself enjoying these kinds of events in the future, if he could spend his time with someone like you.

— 🤎 —

The atmosphere was lively as you stepped outside of your city residence glancing at the clear blue sky. Despite how busy your last night had been, today you woke up fully recharged.

At breakfast, Heeseung was quick to share everything that had happened at the ball with your parents, from the people he met to the people he introduced you to - which included a potential suitor, Lee Jeno -, to the gossip he overheard. However, the highlight to Heeseung hadn’t been his personal accomplishment but rather yours.

“Y/N danced with a gentleman last night.”

This prompted a series of questions that you answered calmly, trying to keep their growing excitement at bay. The person you had danced with wasn’t a stranger, it was Jay, your best friend’s brother. He didn’t seem particularly fond of courting you but he did agree to join you for another dance if the moment arose. And yes, he had grown into a very handsome gentleman but you knew very little about him. Even when you spent most of your time at their residence, Jay always remained a somewhat mysterious figure to you.

“Well, he certainly sees in Y/N someone special,” Heeseung continued, placing some more fruit on his plate. “Lord Jungwon told me he spent the entire evening rejecting other Ladies’ offers which didn’t happen with my sister.”

“I believe you are reading too much into what happened.” You wiped your mouth, receiving expectant glances from everyone at the table. You lowered your napkin and sighed, offering them a small smile. “I believe Lord Jay was simply being polite after he recognised me.”

However, you knew exactly why Jay had invited you to dance. He had been forced to. First, by his sister and then, by his mother. Besides, you were very excited about the idea of dancing at a ball so when he asked you, you weren’t able to say no. You ended up having such a pleasant time dancing with him that you were looking forward to repeating it again.

After breakfast was done, you agreed to go and visit your best friend to catch up on all the time the two of you had been apart. You knew spending the morning with her wouldn’t be enough so, after your mother’s suggestion, you would ask her if she’d like to join you for a walk in the park or maybe dinner at your place before a night at the opera. You knew she wouldn’t be pleased about a night at the opera but you were almost certain she wouldn’t say no to dinner with you.

As you walked down the street, you glanced at the different houses around, trying to understand who were your new neighbours. Now that your mother had married Heeseung’s father, you had moved residences and were now in a much richer part of the city where carriages strolled down the streets often and people greeted one another with polite smiles and a small bow.

“Are you certain you do not wish to take a carriage instead, my Lady?” Your maid asked as you left the gates of your residence, making your way towards the city centre. You’d find your way to your best friend’s house from there. “You will be walking for a long time, I’m afraid.”

“I understand you are looking out for my well-being.” You stopped and turned around to glance at her, offering her a polite smile. “I will be fine. Walking is what I do best, you see? One step in front of the other at a regular place to get to whatever place I wish to head to. Besides,” you raised your arms to what was happening around you, “I get to enjoy the sun and these marvellous streets while walking there. It’s been a while and I want to see what has changed.”

“Of course, my Lady,” she said, regretful, and looked at her feet. “I apologise for intruding in your decisions.”

“You are more than fine.” You patted her shoulder and offered her a smile. “I truly appreciate you looking out for me. Who would I be if I didn’t have such a kind maid like you? Let’s get going now, shall we?”

Without waiting for a reply, you fixed your gloves and started to walk towards the town centre at a steady pace. Your maid followed behind, keeping her distance as you moved through the stone-paved streets at a steady pace, glancing at the limestone buildings around you, sometimes slowing down to admire their architecture or some feature you found pleasant. It didn’t take long for all of them to start to look the same to you and so, you focused on the task ahead.

When you got to the town centre, you were taken aback by how lovely it was. Here, people didn’t walk at a fast pace, they chatted with one another. Errand boys ran around, selling the day’s gazette and you considered buying one for Heeseung. He was always one to love the latest gossip so he’d probably have it by now.

Since the weather was warm, a couple of street vendors were selling their precious goods, shouting to try to get people’s attention. Most of the people who greeted them were maids, making their purchases for the households they were managing. Most of the high society that walked along these streets entered one of the nearby stores, the modiste.

You slowed down your pace, glancing at the different stalls, looking for the ones who always got your attention. After a few steps, you reached a stall with several quills and rolls of paper and you smiled, glancing at the different feather patterns, trying to choose which one you’d take with you. Eventually, a white quill called your name and you bought it, wishing the vendor a wonderful day.

A few more steps and another stall caught your attention. This one had simple jewellery, not one made of precious stones but equally carved with love and care.

“These are beautiful,” you said, pointing to one of the rings and smiling at the vendor. “May I have a closer look?”

“Of course, my Lady.” He tipped his hat off to you and you grabbed the ring, turning around to face your maid.

Her eyes softened as she glanced at the ring and she nodded, offering you a smile.

“It’s a beautiful ring…” She gulped. “Perhaps too simple for you, my Lady?”

“Not at all,” you said. “I consider it to be rather magnificent, don’t you think?”

“Yes.” Your maid nodded, not fully convinced. “But a Lady like yourself should wear the most exquisite jewellery with the most beautiful precious stones. This ring is simply too dull for your beauty and social status, I’m afraid.”

“I couldn’t agree more. A simple ring like that would never match such beauty as yours.”

When you lifted your eyes to glance at who had spoken, you couldn’t help but smile. You had met him last night and Heeseung introduced him as an old friend of his, someone who he had in great esteem. Lee Jeno was his name.

“Lord Jeno.” You curtseyed to him and he tipped his head off to you. “It is a pleasant surprise to find you here.”

“Likewise, Lady Y/N.” He smiled. “Out for a stroll?”

“Not entirely.” You placed the ring back on the stall, focusing your attention back on him. “I was on my way to meet a friend and decided to stop at the different stalls here. It has been a while since I’ve had a chance to explore them.”

He nodded and glanced at the different stalls around the two of you. You thanked the vendor and started to move again, Jeno keeping a steady pace next to you. His eyes quickly found you again and you smiled, stopping at another stall, this one filled with the most precious of flowers in various shapes, sizes, and colours.

“Aren’t these lovely?” You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, taking in their sweet and earthy scent. You turned to your maid. “Should we take a few to decorate the house?”

She shook her head. “We already bought flowers this morning, my Lady. We do not need more.”

“Oh,” you said, slightly disappointed. You looked back at them and sighed. “Maybe some other morning, then.”

As you were about to keep moving, you almost bumped into Jeno. He glanced at the flowers and then back at you.

“How much for a small bouquet?” He asked the vendor as he gestured to a couple of bouquets on display, keeping a serious expression. The vendor glanced at you and back at him.

“Five quid, my Lord.”

Jeno nodded and turned to face you with a smile. “Choose your favourite. Consider it a gift from me.”

“Oh.” Your eyes widened and you turned to face your maid who was just as surprised as you. When you turned to face Jeno, he looked somewhat amused and proud. You bowed to him, slightly flustered. “I appreciate the gesture, my Lord.”

“It only makes sense to get a beautiful lady some beautiful flowers.”

At this point, you didn’t know what else to say. You grabbed a small bouquet from the stall and thanked the vendor, offering them a polite smile before starting to walk again, keeping the flowers close to you. You admired their bright colours and charming scents, happy that this bouquet would look lovely in your bedroom.

“So,” Jeno continued as the three of you moved away from the town centre, “who is this friend of yours you are visiting?”

“She’s an old friend.” You chuckled and briefly glanced his way before focusing on the path in front of you. “We haven’t seen each other in a while so I am looking forward to our meeting.”

He hummed, keeping his hands behind his back and his posture straight. Whenever you glanced his way, he had his eyes on you not shying away from admiring you. You, on the other hand, couldn’t keep your eyes on him for long. He was a very breathtaking man and you were afraid you’d get lost in his beauty. You wouldn’t allow yourself to be enamoured by him without knowing if he was trustworthy first.

After walking for a while, you finally reached your best friend’s residence. You stopped and Jeno did the same, glancing at the building behind you. He nodded.

“I assume this is your destination?”

“You assume correctly.” You bowed to him and smiled. “Thank you for your company, my Lord. And for the flowers as well.” You shook the bouquet slightly. “These are wonderful.”

“Anytime, my Lady.” He tipped his hat off to you and stopped in his movements. His smile widened and he took one step closer to you. “Perhaps… you’d like to join me for a walk at the park later this week? I am certain it would be more pleasant than these crowded streets.”

“I do enjoy crowded streets, my Lord.” You reciprocated the tone in his voice, not pleased with it, but keeping your smile. “If they are crowded it simply means they are alive. Aren’t we all slightly crowded within our hearts?”

He let out a nervous chuckle and raised an eyebrow at you.

“I assume your answer is a no?”

“You are certainly wrong, my Lord.” His expression grew somewhat confused. “Just because I like crowded places doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the quietness of the park. Besides,” you continued looking into his eyes, “I would be very much pleased with your company. Consider my answer a yes.”

“A yes?” You nodded. “Very well, then. I shall bid you a good day. Expect a visit from me at your residence soon so we can arrange our walk at the park.”

Jeno bowed to you and smiled, slowly starting to walk away from you. When he turned around at the end of the street, you waved at him and he nodded, disappearing in the corner. You sighed and turned to your maid, biting your lower lip.

“Maybe I should have been kinder?”

She shook her head and offered you a consoling smile. “You were kind and polite. A gentleman should never assume anything about a Lady. He should always observe and when in doubt, ask. You did the right thing, my Lady.” She gestured to the house behind you. “Shall we pay your best friend a visit now?”

“Of course!” Your spirits were automatically high at the thought of catching up with your best friend. “Hopefully, she is home. I’m afraid I am showing up too late.”

However, you had no way of knowing about it without knocking and asking whether she was inside or not. So, you crossed the gates of her residence, climbed the white stone stairs and knocked on the door, hoping to find your best friend inside.

— 🤎 —

The morning light entered briskly through the only window in Jay’s study as he scribbled some more notes on his books. The black ink was thick and his handwriting wasn’t as pretty as it could be, but he had long ago fought his desire to make all of this pleasing to the eye. As long as he could understand what he had written down, he wasn’t too worried about it.

His days were all the same now. He finished breakfast, read the daily newspaper, and made his way to the small study where he stayed until some servant reminded him he had to join his sister and his mother for a meal. Whenever he was done, he made his way back here, only for his routine to repeat until it was nighttime and a new day was approaching.

Jay couldn’t quite make sense of the expenses he had to deal with. Whenever he thought he was close to being done, a new receipt appeared at the table, a new purchase happened without his knowledge and someone asked him to return money his father had loaned. This was infuriating, especially when his mother didn’t understand Jay’s request to stop spending money on superfluous items. She had plenty of jewellery and new dresses, but to her, that wasn’t enough.

He sighed and reclined back on his cushioned chair, glancing at the book in front of him. Another day of summing up all of the expenses and another day he had to decide what else he’d sell this time. This afternoon, he’d spent it exploring the different rooms in this residence, trying to decide what he could get rid of. He wasn’t considering asking his mother for an opinion. If he did so, nothing would ever leave this house and their debt would be astronomical by now.

As he was about to pick up his quill again to add some minor expenses to the book, someone knocked on the study’s door. He lifted his eyes to the door, an eyebrow raised, and let whoever was outside know they could open it. Soon enough, the house governess appeared and she bowed to Jay, closing the door behind her.

“Is everything alright?” He asked. “Have my mother and sister returned from the modiste?”

“Not yet, my Lord.” She shook her head. “You have a guest outside.”

“A guest?” His heart jumped from his chest. “Who is it?”

He feared the answer. As much as he tried to keep his family’s money issues a secret from everyone, Jay knew it was a matter of time before people found out about it and started to shun his family from social events. He couldn’t afford that, not when his sister’s future was on the line.

“It’s Lady Y/N, my Lord.”

“Oh.” He stood up from his chair, fixing his cravat. “Is she here to see me?”

“Not quite.” The governess took a step closer, avoiding looking Jay in the eyes. “She came to visit your sister. Should I… tell her to come back later? Or should she wait until your sister returns from the modiste?”

“Will they take long?”

“I’m afraid I cannot answer that question for you, my Lord.”

Jay nodded, knowing very well she was right. Sometimes, his mother and sister took very little time at the modiste while in others they barely made it in time for lunch. Still, he could certainly keep you company while you waited. Jay would use any and every excuse to get out of this study.

“I’ll greet her,” he said, making his way around the table and towards the door, smiling at the governess. “Why don’t you prepare us some tea in the meantime? I’ll keep Lady Y/N company while my sister doesn’t get home.”

“Of course, my Lord.”

The governess bowed to Jay and exited the study swiftly, closing the door behind her. He took a deep breath and fixed his hair and cravat, making sure his outfit wasn’t wrinkled and that he was as dashing as possible.

He left his study and walked the dark corridor, the sunlight entering from the window behind him, casting soft shadows in front of him. At the end of the corridor, Jay reached the entrance hall of his residence where you stood, eyes glancing at the tall painted ceiling and the empty walls.

When Jay approached, he slowed down his steps and cleared his throat, your eyes meeting him with delight.

“Lord Jay.” You bowed to him and he reciprocated the gesture.

“Lady Y/N.”

This was the first time Jay was receiving a guest so he wasn’t certain of what he should do. The two of you stood there, Jay with his hands behind his back and you looking at him expectantly, while he tried to come up with what to say. Uncertainty seemed to reign whenever you were around him.

“I heard you came to visit my sister.” You nodded and he pursed his lips. “She is not home at the moment.”

“Oh.” You sounded disappointed. You turned back to face your maid, who held a small bouquet, and she shrugged. You faced Jay again. “Maybe we should come back at some other time?”

“I can keep you some company while you wait.” He gestured to a small room to your left, smiling at you. “Would you like to join me for some tea in the meantime?”

You glanced back at your maid who nodded and you turned to face Jay again, a polite smile on your lips.

“I’d be delighted, my Lord.”

Jay nodded and the two of you made your way to the small room to your left. You sighed as you glanced at the different walls, stopping in front of the two massive windows, allowing the sunlight to greet your face. He remained near the door with his hands behind his back, admiring you from afar.

“So much has changed,” you said, lowering your eyes to your gloved hands. They matched your light purple gown, Jay noticed. “I was surprised you still remembered me after… well, everything.”

“You’re a very dear friend,” he stated, taking a few steps closer to you. “Besides, our fathers have always known one another. It would be hard to forget you when we spent so much of our childhood together.”

You hummed softly, pursing your lips as you played with your gloves, lost in thought. If Jay could, he would’ve captured this moment in a painting. The slight nostalgic layer to your gaze, the way the light played with your features. It was worthy of admiring, of remembering.

“How have you been holding up, my Lord?” You turned to face him. “I’m sure it’s not easy to carry the title your father has left you. I hope it isn’t too burdensome, though.”

That took Jay by surprise. He didn’t expect anyone to ask him how he was doing. People offered him their condolences and moved on with their lives, rarely asking him how he was doing. You, on the other hand, wanted to know how he was feeling. You were always thoughtful and kind.

“I’ve been managing.” He lied to you. “Returning has… certainly been tough but it must be done. We cannot run away from our responsibilities forever, can we?”

You let out a soft chuckle and sat on the nearest couch, fixing your gown as you did so. The servants started to set a small table with teacups and small plates with baked goods and Jay made his way towards the couch across from you and sat down, fixing his jacket.

“How has your sister been? Is she still a rebel at heart?”

He nodded and leaned back on the couch, amused by your statement. Some things had changed but his sister’s approach to life was not one of them. She was always a free spirit, never worried about what people thought of her or her decisions. She certainly didn’t need anyone to tell her what to do.

“I believe my sister will always be a rebel.” You nodded and smiled at him. Jay gulped. “It will pose some issues to her, I’m certain.”

“In what regard?”

“Marriage.”

You pursed your lips and took a deep breath, leaning back as you pondered Jay’s words. He knew where this conversation would lead but he was afraid of how you’d react. Would you accept his request to help him find a suitable husband for his sister?

“I see.” You looked Jay in the eyes. “She doesn’t want to get married, does she?”

“Not this season, no.” He shook his head. “I am certain she doesn’t want to get married ever.”

Your eyes lingered on Jay’s for what felt like an eternity. He wanted to look away, check if the table had finally been set for the two of you to have tea, but he couldn’t. If anything, he was certain you could see straight into his soul, you could read every single one of his current thoughts.

“You have different wishes for your sister, don’t you, my Lord?”

He wasn’t sure if that was a question or a challenge.

“I want her to find a loving husband as soon as possible, yes. I want her to be happy.” Jay massaged his temples, knowing that if he opened the game now, he wouldn’t be able to take it back. “She is a challenge. She refuses to dance at balls and other gentlemen simply refuse to court her. She is too high-spirited for them, I’m told. And she couldn’t care less about marriage.”

“I see.” You nodded softly. Then, you smiled mischievously at Jay. “You wish for me to help you, don’t you, my Lord?”

By now, Jay was fully convinced you could see through him.

“Is it obvious that I cannot handle this matter by myself?”

“It is certainly obvious you do not know anything about your sister nor do you know what love is.” You smiled. “I happen to know about both. Very well if I say so myself.”

Three years ago and all Jay was able to steal from you were mere glances and shy smiles. Very few words, very few conversations. Right now, however, that had changed. You weren’t as shy anymore. You weren’t afraid either. You were confident and slightly bold in your word choice. Jay found it endearing.

“Would you be willing to help me, then, Lady Y/N?”

This time, it was Jay’s turn to challenge you with a light question. He held your gaze for a bit while you pondered his words and then you glanced over at the table that had been set for your morning tea together. He waited patiently for your answer, his heart was about to burst from his chest. Suddenly, the room was too hot, his cravat too tight, the air too frail. Nothing could’ve prepared Jay for this. Waiting for your answer seemed to last a lifetime.

“I cannot force your sister to marry anyone,” you said, adjusting yourself on the small couch. “You also cannot force any gentlemen to marry her, either.”

“Why would I?” His tone was serious but not harsh.

“Think of love as a blooming flower. First, you plant the seed, an encounter. Then, you nurture it by watering it, taking out the weeds. Think of it as… courting, if you will.” You turned to face him. “And if nurturing is enough, if the effort was worthy, a flower shall bloom.” You smiled softly at him. “Like love.”

“Like… love?”

You hummed as you nodded at him, a proud smile on your lips. Jay didn’t understand what you were saying to him. He didn’t know much about gardening, let alone love. All he knew was that his sister had to be married by the end of this season to someone she was, hopefully, in love with.

“Love comes unexpectedly even to those who do not seek it. Under the right conditions, any flower can bloom.” You cleared your throat, studying Jay’s expression for a while. “You do understand what I am saying, right, my Lord?”

He gulped and shook his head, somewhat defeated.

“I’m afraid not,” he admitted. “I’m not very fond of gardening, or love, or anything that requires particular devotion or… dedication. Shall we have tea, then?”

Jay cleared his throat and stood up from his couch, fixing his cravat and the jacket he was wearing. He walked towards the now fully set table, well-aware that your eyes remained on him as you tried to make sense of the words he had just said to you. You got up from the couch and adjusted your dress before walking toward the table.

For a while, the atmosphere was quiet as the servants poured you tea before leaving the room leaving the two of you to enjoy the warm beverage in privacy.

Once again, you didn’t avoid staring at Jay. He, on the other hand, was embarrassed to even face you. After all, how could he be so honest and state his most true intentions as well as flaws? Shouldn’t a gentleman be perfect? Shouldn’t he be perfect? What if everything he had spent a lifetime achieving crumbled here and now, in front of him, because of you?

“Family,” you said as you placed your teacup down, patting your lips softly afterwards with a napkin. “I’m sure you know they can be complicated.”

“Yes.” He chuckled as a plethora of thoughts crossed his mind about his family. “They certainly can be.”

“Would you trade them for anything, my Lord?”

“Never.” Jay shook his head, confused and somewhat offended by your question. “My family is everything to me. I wouldn’t trade my family for anything.”

He meant that. Despite their flaws, his family was everything Jay had. If he woke up every morning and sat at the study for hours on end only getting out to eat or sleep, it was because he was willing to give his family the best despite what they were going through.

If he was so worried about finding his sister a loving husband, who would give her a great and wonderful life, it was because he cared about her, because she only deserved the best.

“You choose to stay with your family despite their flaws, my Lord.” You took a sip of your tea and glanced at Jay. “And yet, you are not fond of things who require devotion or dedication?” You let out a small chuckle. “That, in itself, is a form of love, my Lord. Which is why,” Jay’s eyes met yours in an instant and you smiled at him, “I am willing to help you. We do have a lot of work ahead of us, still. I hope you are up for the challenge?”

“Of course,” he answered right away, grabbing his teacup. “How should we go about this deal of ours, then?”

— 🤎 —

The ballroom was crowded with everyone from high society. Most older gentlemen and their wives stood near the walls where they chatted with one another happily, occasionally glancing at the people in the middle dancing with one another.

You kept your hand resting on Jeno’s shoulder as he guided you through the room, confidently but not smoothly. He was too heavy in his steps and you had to concentrate on the music’s rhythm to make sure you wouldn’t step on his feet while the two of you were dancing. Despite everything, Jeno kept a happy smile on his face, one that you reciprocated out of politeness.

Jeno was a wonderful man. Ever since your first walk at the park, he sent gifts to your house almost every day. Sometimes it was flowers, others invitations for you to join him at events. It was clear to you that he was courting you - something that delighted your mother and Heeseung a bit too much - and you didn’t mind it. He was pleasant to be around, a bit loud at times, but polite nonetheless. Besides, he had a title and some properties in the countryside. This didn’t matter to you in the slightest, but Heeseung’s father considered it very important and, whenever he had the chance, he asked Jeno about it and his plans for the future.

“I want to marry the one I truly love,” he would answer, his smile never fading as his eyes landed on you. “I want to start a family of my own too.”

Despite Jeno sharing the same goals and aspirations as you, part of you still felt like you didn’t know him. He said the right words and he always did the right thing, but you were only together whenever there was a chance for you to be seen by others. Even the gifts he sent, you couldn’t be sure it had been him to select them. They always felt too generic, you weren’t sure he was even bothered in getting to know you.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he was the right one for you. He might appear perfect, but was perfection what you were looking for in a husband?

“You look beautiful tonight,” Jeno said and you blinked, focusing your attention on him briefly. He smiled and glanced at a large and heavy necklace on your neck. “You always do, my Lady. But tonight you look… particularly exquisite.”

“Thank you, my Lord.” You smiled at him, unable to say anything else. If you lost count of the song, you’d step on his foot and that would be shameful on your part.

“Do you like the necklace? It is a fine piece of jewellery, isn’t it?”

You cleared your throat, becoming aware of the value you carried around your neck and of how heavy it was. After this dance, you’d have to rest for a while to regain your composure. You were convinced your neck wasn’t made for this kind of expensive jewellery.

“It is, indeed, my Lord,” you said and he let go of you, allowing you to spin. When you returned to him, your hand found his shoulder and you smiled, finding him staring at the necklace proudly.

You gulped and glanced around the room to try and find a familiar face. It didn’t take long for you to find Jay near a corner of the room, next to his mother, taking a sip of his drink. His eyes immediately found yours and he smiled at you briefly before focusing his attention elsewhere.

Once the music came to a stop, you let go of Jeno and stepped back, curtseying to him.

“Thank you for this wonderful dance, my Lord.”

“It was my honour to have you joining me, Lady Y/N.” He bowed and lifted his eyes, studying your expression. “Perhaps you could join me again for another dance, later tonight?”

“May-”

You didn’t finish. Someone grabbed your arm and huffed, pushing you away from the centre of the room. You shrugged lightly and offered Jeno a consoling smile as your best friend pulled you away from the big crowd of people and towards the balcony outside.

“I will never dance with any gentleman ever again,” she said, upset.

“What’s the matter?” You asked as you looked over your shoulder, making sure no one had followed the two of you. You were alone so you unwrapped her gloved hand from your arm, studying her features lightly. “Would you like to talk about it?”

She shook her head and started to pace around, massaging her temples. She muttered a few words under her breath but you did not understand them due to the loud music playing inside the ballroom, drowning you in your thoughts.

“I know you said it would be a good idea for me to meet… gentlemen. Try to, at least, get to know them. I did all of that because I trust your judgement.” She sighed and leaned on the stone balcony behind her. “But what if that’s not enough? What if I am not enough? They… talk of marriage as if it’s an exchange as if I’m some sort of conquest for them to pride around.”

You nodded and slowly joined her on the stone balcony and she leaned her head on your shoulder. You patted her head lightly, afraid you’d ruin her hairstyle.

“What happened this time?”

After agreeing to help Jay find a husband for his sister, you hadn’t wasted any time. Whenever you were at these events, you made sure you introduced her to every gentleman and spoke highly of her to everyone you knew. It wasn’t hard to make your best friend sound wonderful because she was a wonderful person. Still, her reluctance to accept others’ attention and affection made this quite the challenge but her effort was slowly paying off.

“He was… not… terrible…?” A small smile crept up on your face. “He listened to me. We engaged in quite a pleasant conversation. I even laughed at one of his jokes because it was funny. And then,” she lifted her head and faced her gloved hands, pouting slightly, “I did as you suggested. I asked if he’d like to join me for another dance so we could continue our conversation. He said he wasn’t interested and left.”

Your heart broke slightly in your chest as you glanced at your best friend. She played with her gloves, pulling them from her fingers just to put them back after a while. You didn’t say anything - you didn’t know what to say to her right now.

It was hard for your best friend to open up, to do all of this. This time, she had given her all and that had led her to an embarrassing moment that would probably haunt her for a while. Still, you couldn’t let her give up. A lot was on the line and a bad moment should not dictate how she should go about the rest of the season.

“Why don’t you tell me more about this gentleman?”

“What for?” She leaned away from the balcony and started to pace around slowly. “So I can drown more in my sorrow?”

“What did you like about this gentleman?” You asked, ignoring her last statement.

“He was charming, polite.” She nodded softly, glancing at the stars briefly. “I liked that he struck up a conversation before asking me to join him for a dance.” She sighed. “He is handsome too. Deep voice. Beautiful eyes. But it was his presence I felt the most drawn to. Not that it matters anymore. I’m sure I’m not interesting enough.”

“I’m sure he had his reasons for declining your offer that extend beyond you not being interesting enough.”

You leaned away from the balcony and walked toward your friend, placing both of your hands on her shoulders. She slowly lifted her eyes to look at you and you offered her a polite smile.

“You are one of the bravest women I have ever met,” you continued. “You are fierce and strong. And not every gentleman will appreciate that. It does not mean you aren’t interesting, it does not mean you have to change. It simply means they don’t appreciate your value but you certainly know your worth.”

She stayed with your words for a while, slowly coming to terms with them. Despite the layer of sadness not fading entirely from her features, you were happy to see a small glimmer of hope return to her eyes as a shy smile crept up on her features.

“I know my worth,” she whispered, nodding slightly. She cleared her throat, fixing her posture. “Which is why I should not let this affect me. It was a small victory. I can, indeed, have meaningful conversations with other people besides you and my brother!”

You nodded and let go of her shoulders glancing at the inside of the room through the windows. Inside, Jay was glancing at the outside as he sipped on his beverage, keeping a conversation with a couple of gentlemen around him. He laughed, occasionally, but his focus was on you now.

As your best friend went on a small tangent on her plans for the rest of the evening, you simply nodded at Jay, knowing very well what would happen next in yours.

After the two of you stepped inside the room, you made your way towards the back wall opposite to Jay where you stayed alone for a while, trying to locate Heeseung or even Jeno. You found them near the refreshments table chatting with one another happily, exchanging stories that all of the other gentlemen around paid attention to and reacted to.

Your best friend went to join her mother and from the expression on her face, she was probably talking about the gentleman she had danced with earlier. As you glanced around the room, you tried to find him based on the description she had given you and what you remembered from when he invited her to join him for a dance. However, very little came to your memory, but you were certain Jay would probably know more.

It didn’t take long for him to join you in the room. Step by step, he got closer, always keeping his eyes on the centre of the room, occasionally glancing your way to greet you with a soft smile. In these moments, the room’s noise faded and only your heartbeat seemed to remain strong and certain, slightly faster than usual.

Only when Jay looked away did you return to your senses and glanced around the room, wondering if anyone had noticed the small exchange. After all, ever since you made this arrangement and you decided to help him find a husband for his sister, you found a way into each other’s arms every ball and soirée to exchange information and plan your next moves on the matter. You were certain someone had noticed it by now. Everyone wanted to have Jay’s attention. And yet, his attention seemed to always be on you.

When he was finally next to you, he bowed and you reciprocated the gesture, taking a step closer to him so the two of you could hear one another better over the loud chatter and music.

“I saw you chatting with my sister outside,” he said, glancing at the pairs dancing and twirling in front of the two of you. “Is everything alright?”

From the tone in his voice, you knew he had noticed a lot of what happened outside between you and your best friend. You fixed your gloves, making sure they were stretched to your elbows and that every finger was properly tucked in its little place.

“She had a pleasant time with the gentleman she danced with earlier tonight.”

“But…?”

“But,” you sighed and turned to face him, “said gentleman does not take any particular interest in your sister, according to her recount of events.”

Jay hummed, guiding the glass to his lips one last time. He walked away from you for a while and you lost him in a crowd near the refreshments table before he emerged again empty-handed and with a bright smile.

“Shall we discuss this matter as we dance, Lady Y/N?” He asked, extending a hand to you.

“Of course, my Lord.” You placed your hand on top of his and smiled. “I’d be delighted.”

Dancing with Jay was a very different experience. You felt safe in his arms and looking at his features wasn’t daunting nor did it feel wrong. It was easy to allow him to guide you through the room as you danced together, knowing he wouldn’t miss his steps.

After making sure no one was staring at the two of you too bluntly, you cleared your throat and fixed your hand on his shoulder, leaning slightly closer to him. This wasn’t proper - you knew an outsider looking at the two of you would create a scandalous story - but this way you could both hear one another and speak in a lower tone. Jay never seemed to mind. If anything, his attention on you only grew as his eyes wandered all over your features, lingering on your lips before meeting your eyes, rarely looking away.

For the first few seconds of the song, you were quick to fill Jay in on what had happened. You kept a couple of details out, only letting him know that his sister had enjoyed dancing with this gentleman and was looking forward to continuing to get to know him, but that he didn’t accept her request which left her somewhat devastated.

He listened to your words carefully, humming and nodding every once in a while to let you know he wasn’t ignoring you as he glanced over your shoulder or guided you through the room.

“I assume you have an idea of what we should do next,” Jay said before spinning you around, carefully placing his hand on your back as you returned to him.

“I certainly do, my Lord.” You nodded, eager to share with him the plan you had come up with while you waited for his invitation to join him for a dance. “I believe you should chat with this gentleman and try to persuade him to give your sister another chance.”

For a moment, Jay slowed down his steps, forcing you to take the lead as he pondered your words. He gulped and the smile on his features faded, replaced with a slight layer of panic.

“How should I go about it?” He asked, throwing you off guard. “I cannot simply state my wishes, can I? I should be subtle, slightly charming, perhaps…”

“You are certainly charming, my Lord,” you said, getting Jay’s full attention immediately. You offered him a reassuring smile. “Would you like my advice on it?”

“Always.” He cleared his throat. “Your advice is always valuable, my Lady.”

“I believe you should get to know this gentleman, try to see if any particular activity excites him, one where your sister can also participate. From there, try to convince him to invite her. You can be persuasive without being harsh.”

He nodded slowly, raising an eyebrow at you while a charming smirk greeted his lips.

“You always find ways to flatter me, Lady Y/N. Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

It wasn’t hard to find wonderful things about Jay. He was kind and caring towards everyone he spoke with, even if at first, he appeared a bit rude and closed-off. He loved his family too and always made sure they were ok. You could easily tell how he put his sister’s future ahead of his - not once had he looked at any other lady in these ballrooms, always focused on getting information from you to make sure his plan could come to fruition.

Of course, he was very handsome too. Whenever you got the chance to dance with him, you could easily get lost in his eyes or how his touch was comforting. Being with him made you feel at peace. You didn’t have to overthink it. It was simple and you enjoyed it.

You enjoyed the friendship you were building with Jay.

“I’m sure my sister will let you know if I succeed or not.” You let out a small laugh at his attempted joke and let go of his shoulder, allowing him to twirl you once more.

“I have the utmost confidence you will succeed, my Lord.”

He nodded and as the music started to reach its outro, the two of you slowed down your movements. When the band stopped playing, you and Jay stopped, remaining in your place for a little longer as his eyes glanced at your features carefully in search of something that he didn’t find.

Your hand left his shoulder as he took a step back, bowing deeply at you before leaving you and disappearing into the crowd again for you to not lay eyes on him for the rest of the night.

This was the part you least enjoyed: the sudden goodbye. You realised it had happened after he was already gone and you found yourself wishing for him to be back so you could dance again under the guise of two people merely chatting and getting to know one another better when, in fact, you were exchanging so much more than you would allow yourself to admit right now.

— 🤎 —

The night was rather long but that didn’t stop anyone from enjoying themselves at this social event. Most ladies had opted for wearing expensive dresses and jewellery - you included - trying to get the attention of possible suitors by the end of the season.

Jay was growing tired of these balls as nothing particularly interesting happened in here. People danced and chatted. Every conversation he had joined was around the same topics: money, marriage, property, gossip, politics. Not topics Jay was particularly interested in, but he made an effort to blend in if it proved useful for his sister to find suitors.

So far, Jay’s plan to find his sister a husband was going smoothly. Thanks to your help, the task became less burdensome as he knew he could always rely on you whenever he was struggling with what to do next. It was pleasant and the more time he spent with you, the more he looked forward to it.

Tonight his time with you had ended and it was growing shorter as the season went on. Now that Lee Jeno was courting you, you spent most of your time with him, either by his side, chatting, or dancing. In the way Jeno glanced at you and talked about you to other gentlemen, one thing was certain: he was courting you and wanted to marry you by the end of the season.

On one hand, Jay was very glad you had found someone who wanted to marry you this season. On the other hand, Jay’s heart broke every time he thought about you with someone else and the possibility of never seeing you again. He had grown fond of you, perhaps too much, that he wondered if what the two of you shared was a mere friendship or if it was something more.

He tried to convince himself it didn’t matter. Jay tried to tell him that your flattering words for him were mere politeness, that your concern and worry were because you were kind to everyone. He tried to convince himself that the glances you exchanged every time you saw one another were meaningless gestures, signals to let him know he could approach you.

What to Jay mattered this season was for his sister to find a loving husband who could give her a good life. Their financial situation wasn’t getting any better and he knew no one would dare to be close to him after they found out he was ruined. After that, no lady would take interest in him and so, Jay knew he wouldn’t get married. He had to act fast to make sure his sister still had a good life before someone decided to expose the truth to everyone.

He took a deep breath and shook these thoughts away, focusing on the night sky outside of the tall windows, as he made his way toward a small group of gentlemen. They all chatted happily, whispering occasionally only to burst into laughter after a while.

When Jay approached, they opened their circle slightly and bowed at him, gesturing for him to join the conversation.

“Ah, if it isn’t Lord Jay!” One of them patted him on the shoulder, offering him a big smile. “Have you been dodging dancing like the rest of us?”

“Good evening, gentlemen.” He tried to ignore the question but when all eyes were on him, he smiled. “I’ve been avoiding it, yes. Occasionally.”

“Not fond of dancing?” Another gentleman asked, and Jay immediately recognised him from his freckled cheeks and warm-hearted smile. He had been the gentleman his sister had danced with earlier, the one he should try to persuade.

“He’s only fond of dancing if it is with the right person…” Jay glanced at who had spoken and his smile faded slightly. “Even if that person is already betrothed to someone else.”

Jay fixed his posture and focused his attention on Heeseung, trying to show mere indifference towards his statement.

“I wasn’t aware there had been a proposal.”

“Not yet,” Heeseung said, raising an eyebrow at him. “But there will be, I am certain. Lady Y/N and Lord Jeno were made for each other. Just look at them.”

Heeseung turned and gestured towards the opposite side of the room with a bright smile on his face. At first, Jay resisted his curiosity, focusing his eyes on the tall windows outside as he drowned his thoughts in the soft melody playing. It didn’t last long.

After a few minutes, he turned around and faced the crowd in the middle, and in between the dancing couples moving in unison, he found you on the other side right next to Jeno.

The two of you chatted with one another, a happy smile on your lips as you listened to Jeno talk excitedly under your kind gaze. Whenever he glanced your way, his eyes softened and his smile widened, a gesture you noticed and reciprocated too in your shy matter.

Heeseung was right, you were made for each other. The way you glanced at him, the way your hand found his arm whenever he made you laugh, the way he looked fondly at you and paid attention to every word you spoke to him, Jay was convinced he was witnessing love between the two of you.

He gulped and fixed his gravat, shaking his thoughts away. In his deepest desires, in his hidden dreams, he was the one making you laugh. He was the one you looked fondly at, the one you thought about when the sky was dark and no one else was around. And yet, Jay knew that would never happen. He could never make you truly happy. He could never provide for you. He could never buy you beautiful jewellery to express how much you meant to him. He only had his heart, something he was more than willing to give to you, but that wasn’t enough and he knew it.

“They do make a beautiful couple,” he said, offering Heeseung a polite smile. “I hope they’re very happy together.”

Heeseung nodded and turned around, joining the conversation with the other gentlemen. Jay gulped and focused his attention back on you and Jeno, trying his best to get this image engraved in his mind as a reminder of what he would never have with you or anyone else.

From the other side of the room, your eyes found Jay’s and his heart jumped in his chest, its pace increasing furiously. He smiled softly at you, unable to hide the happiness a simple stare from you brought him, and you reciprocated the gesture gladly, oblivious to the turmoil growing inside of him.

What should have been a quick glance lasted for much longer. One, two, three seconds in and you hadn’t looked away and neither could he. That was your power, he could never ignore you. Whether it was your smile, your voice, or your mere poise, his attention was always on you whenever you were in the room. You were beautiful and you were kind. In other words, Jay found you the embodiment of perfection if such ever existed.

As the room grew quieter after the end of another dance, Jay returned to his senses as you and Jeno took the dancefloor, turning to join the rest of the gentlemen in their conversation. To his surprise, he was left alone except for Heeseung and sir Lee Felix.

Jay knew about this gentleman. He wasn’t very rich, nor did he have a title, but he had made a name for himself with his business and with every passing year, his business grew richer and more powerful, a fact he kept hidden from most. He didn’t like to flaunt his wealth and Jay commended him for that.

As he glanced at Felix, he wondered what he might have in common with his sister. They both shared the same confident poise and slight mischievous eyes. Felix was just as opinionated as his sister and he knew how to tell a good joke, something Jay knew his sister appreciated. You were right, he had to convince him to give his sister another chance.

It was time for Jay to succeed at his part of the plan for tonight.

He cleared his throat and Felix glanced briefly at him sideways, taking a sip of his drink, keeping his eyes at a point in the distance. When he didn’t say anything back to Jay, he took a deep breath and moved closer to him.

“Is there anything you’d like to say to me, Lord Jay?”

Felix’s tone wasn’t confrontational. If anything, he was amused by Jay’s struggle to come up with words to get to the point of what he truly wanted to ask.

Jay shrugged and smiled at him, gesturing vaguely to the centre of the room.

“I saw you dancing with my sister earlier,” he said. “You’re not… dancing anymore tonight?”

Felix sighed and gave Jay a curious look, turning to fully face him. He kept his eyes on him, occasionally opening his mouth but closing it again, shaking his head slightly. He waited since he wasn’t sure what else to say. Jay found it improper to question a man he barely knew or flatter his sister to appeal to him.

“I didn’t have any plans to dance again tonight, no. Unless,” Felix raised an eyebrow at him, “you’d like to join me? Is that what you’re trying to ask me, Lord Jay?”

In the midst of the shock caused by Felix’s question, Jay couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous it was. He tried to calm himself down but the thought of him attempting to dance with sir Felix made him laugh. It would certainly be fun, but they would fail trying. Thankfully, when Felix started to laugh as well, Jay was convinced he saw the same ridiculousness he did.

“We could certainly try,” Jay eventually said and extended a hand to Felix. “I just wanted to properly introduce myself to you after I saw you dancing with my sister. I’m Lord Park Jay.”

“I figured you’d do that.” Felix shook Jay’s hand and offered him a smile. “I’m Sir Lee Felix. It’s nice to make your official acquaintance, Lord Jay.”

“Likewise.”

The two of them continued to chat in a much more relaxed tone than before, as they got to know one another. Felix confirmed what Jay already knew about him: he had a small printing company responsible for printing a couple of small gazettes occasionally and he was looking into venturing into other types of print to expand his business.

Jay was quite fascinated by the man in front of him and he could understand why his sister would be too. He was well-travelled but very humble - after all, he was just a mere servant when he inherited the printing company from his employer - and very easy to talk to. Whenever he could, Jay made sure to mention his sister, either by praising her or by mentioning how much they both had in common.

“Your sister is quite lovely, indeed. I thoroughly enjoyed dancing with her. She is fun and delightful to be around. I didn’t expect to find someone like her amongst this crowd. Everyone is so uptight and quite judgemental. Not her, though.”

That pleased Jay. The way Felix spoke of his sister was exactly what he wanted and expected a potential suitor to say of her to him. Still, one conversation wasn’t representative of Felix’s intentions. He could be saying all of this to be polite and not because he had any interest in marriage or his sister for that matter.

“She is quite the free spirit. I’m sure being around someone like you would do her well.” Jay sighed and gulped. “She’s not very fond of these events.”

“Neither am I, if I am being honest.” Felix laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “She asked me to join her for another dance but I declined. I was afraid my… skills were not worthy of someone like her.”

For the first time since they started talking, Felix lowered his head and kept to himself for a while, a small shade of sadness creeping over his features. Jay waited, unsure of what to say. Still, he sympathised with him. Feeling unworthy of someone was a feeling he, too, was becoming familiar with.

“Perhaps you could invite her for something more pleasant for the both of you,” Jay said, trying to lighten up the mood. He smiled at Felix. “How about a… walk at the park?”

Felix glanced at Jay, somewhat confused by his words.

“Isn’t that… too simple?” Felix cleared his throat, and focused on Jay, raising an eyebrow at him. “Are you trying to ruin my chances with your sister?”

“Quite the opposite,” Jay answered, nonchalantly. “I am certain she’d be delighted if you presented her this offer.”

“What offer?”

As Jay looked over his shoulder, he recognised the gentleman joining the conversation with a bright and charming smile. When he first saw him this season, he hadn’t thought much of him - he was like any other Lord in this place: tall, handsome, rich and young. Now, whenever he saw him, Jay’s thoughts went to you and how he would be the one you were going to marry and be happy with.

“Ah, Lord Jay was giving me some… suggestions for pleasant afternoons with a Lady I wish to… court.”

“Oh.” Jeno gave Jay a cold glance, but his smile never faded. “Do tell, Lord Jay. What are some of your suggestions?”

This wasn’t a duel but Jay felt particularly uncomfortable with the tone in Jeno’s voice. Whether he was challenging him, he didn’t know. However, Jay brushed it off and pretended to ignore the obvious signs of disdain from Jeno. What started as a pleasant conversation was quickly turning into something sour.

“I was suggesting to Sir Felix a walk in the park. It is simple, but it allows for a pleasant conversation away from the crowdedness and noise of a ballroom.” He bit the inside of his cheek but that didn’t last long. “Some women prefer that than to being flaunted around by the ones who wish to marry them.”

“I’m sure.” Now, it was Jeno’s turn to ignore Jay’s obvious disdain towards him. He turned to Felix and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Who were you thinking of inviting, then?”

Before answering the question, Felix glanced at Jay who nodded, and afterwards, shared the name with Jeno excitedly. By the way Jeno’s eyes roamed through Felix’s outfit and his features in a harsh manner, Jay knew he was not paying attention to any of the words he was saying.

Still, Jay was listening and he was very pleased about how highly Jay spoke of his sister. She was certainly a challenge but she had met someone who seemed to genuinely appreciate her for who she was.

“Why don’t I join you?” Jeno asked, surprising both Felix and Jay. He chuckled. “I would invite Lady Y/N to join me, but the four of us could walk together at the park. I’m certain both of them would be pleased with our arrangement since they are acquaintances.”

Jay wondered how much Jeno knew about you. After all, you and his sister were more than acquaintances, you were the best of friends ever since you were little and that hadn’t changed. Even after three years the two of you remained close.

“Well, I’ll let you know if this… walk stands.” Felix patted Jeno’s shoulder and turned to face Jay, offering him a kind smile. “Thank you for the evening, Lord Jay. I appreciate your advice and encouraging words. Now, I shall see if they are useful to me.”

“I’m sure they will be.” Jay shook Felix’s hand. “Best of luck to you, my friend.”

Felix bowed politely to the two gentlemen and started to make his way towards Jay’s sister who was on the opposite side of the room next to his mother and you. He kept a steady pace while he studied his surroundings, shaking his head occasionally while muttering under his breath. He was nervous, but he had no reason to be. If you were right, his sister was just as pleased about the idea of an afternoon spent in Felix’s company as he was.

“Will you join us as well, Lord Jay?” Jeno asked, studying Jay’s expression with a smug smile. “I’m sure there is a Lady in this room who wouldn’t mind joining you at the park.”

“I’m not interested.” He answered right away. “I am not courting anyone this season nor do I wish to. I am simply here to keep my sister and my mother company whenever needed.”

Jay gulped, knowing very well Jeno wasn’t believing any of his words. Still, they were true. Jay wasn’t courting anyone and he wouldn’t do it this season nor the ones to come. If anything, this would be the last time he’d set foot in these sorts of events. After his sister was married, all of this was useless to him.

“Well, if you do choose to court anyone,” Jeno started, narrowing his eyes on Jay, “make sure no one else is courting them. We have to keep a sense of… respect towards each other, isn’t that right, Lord Jay?”

Jay recognised this as a threat. Jeno didn’t have to say anything else because he could read between the lines. He was talking about you. Still, this wasn’t enough for Jay to step away or stop talking with you. After all, you were mere friends and he knew he wasn’t going to marry you. Your heart probably belonged to Jeno and Jeno’s heart was probably yours by now.

“More than respect towards each other,” Jay said, taking a step towards Jeno, looking him in the eyes, “we should respect the ladies we are courting.”

“Of course.” Jeno nodded. “I respect Lady Y/N. So much so that I do not wish for any lies to exist between us once we get married.” He took one step closer to Jay, his eyes growing colder as he whispered, “I know a lot about you, Lord Jay. One wrong step and the world will know why you are so desperate to marry that little sister of yours.”

Jay’s eyes widened as Jeno patted his shoulder and walked away, leaving him to deal with the sudden realisation of what had just happened. He knew. Jeno knew about his family situation. He knew they were ruined. He knew Jay had very little left. And worst of all, Jeno would use this information to his advantage.

As he glanced at where his sister was, Jay’s heart sank in his chest. She was happy while chatting with Felix and you. She would be fine. But when Jay’s eyes landed on you once again, he wondered if he’d be fine. Wouldn’t it pain him to see you with someone else? Or worse, what would you think of him after finding out that he was financially ruined? Would he still be worthy of your friendship?

Would Jay ever be worthy of your love, despite the circumstances he was in?

— 🤎 —

The local parkwas a lovely place and one you always enjoyed spending your mornings and afternoons in whenever you had the chance. It was quieter than a ballroom and less lonely than your house. Here, the sunlight greeted your skin and a soft breeze kept the temperature cool, allowing everyone to enjoy the day outside.

Today was hotter than usual. Most people sat by wooden or stone benches around the park taking advantage of the tree’s shades, chatting or reading pleasantly in each other’s company. Very few dared to walk the stone paths at this time of day. Still, you and your company had somewhere to be and the hot weather wouldn’t slow any of you down.

Next to you, your best friend walked with a bright smile on her face. You noticed she had opted to wear a light blue dress, its fabric soft and fresh for the weather of the afternoon. As usual, she had no jewellery on; she wasn’t very fond of it. Still, the hairdo that peaked from under her hat had some small decorations that matched the shade of her dress. She had certainly put in the work for this walk at the park.

“I have made a list of all the questions I wish to ask sir Felix,” she said as the two of you walked, her smile the brightest it had ever been this season. “I wish to get to know him naturally but I want to be prepared as well. I don’t want our time at the pleasure boats to be… terrible.”

“I’m sure it won’t be.” You offered her a smile, fixing the lace umbrella to cover you from the sun better. “Aren’t you both excited about this afternoon? What did he say in the last letter you exchanged?”

She let out a small laugh and held your wrist, forcing the two of you to stop. You turned to face her as she looked over your shoulder, finding Jay a few steps behind with his hands behind his back. When your eyes landed on him, he looked away and gulped, closing the distance between the three of you.

“Take a few steps back, brother.” Your best friend started to hush Jay away. “I wish to speak with Y/N privately.” When he didn’t budge, she rolled her eyes and pushed him back slightly. “Stay there. I shall tell you when you can move again.”

Jay didn’t say anything and, for the remainder of the time your eyes were on him, he didn’t reciprocate your gesture. You sighed, feeling your heart sink slightly in your chest, wondering what he was going through. He tended to have a closed-off expression but this was different. It reminded you of sadness.

“So,” you turned to face your best friend who happily fixed her hat, “you wish to know what sir Felix said in the letters he sent to me?”

“Not everything,” you said, discreetly glancing back at Jay. “Just what you consider of most importance.”

“Everything is important in regards to sir Felix, Y/N.” She let out a dramatic sigh, guiding one of your hands to rest over her heart. “This is how this gentleman makes me feel, Y/N. Just the mere thought of him and I could burst into flames. I wish to get to know him better, yes, but I believe I have found my match. I am certain he is the one for me.”

You nodded, feeling the fast heartbeat of your best friend’s heart under your gloved hand. It was a strange feeling, one you weren’t sure you felt when you thought of the one you were probably going to marry. Your heart didn’t jump in your chest when you thought of Jeno. You wouldn’t burst into flames at the mere thought of him. However, someone occupied most of your thoughts. Someone consumed most of your desires. But that person wasn’t Lee Jeno.

“I am sure sir Felix feels the same way in regards to you.” You offered her a smile and lowered your hand, glancing back at Jay. This time, your eyes met briefly but he quickly focused his attention elsewhere. “Shall we continue our walk?”

“Of course!” Your best friend turned around and waved at her brother. “We’re moving again. Feel free to join us, brother.”

For the rest of your walk, your best friend spoke excitedly about the plans she had for the rest of the season. You mostly listened to her, occasionally nodding and laughing whenever she made a simple joke.

Eventually, the three of you found yourselves near the small pier by the lake at the park. On it, a couple of small wooden rowboats were docked, swaying slightly.

Near one of the boats, Felix was chatting with one of the workers in a casual manner, nodding as the elder man spoke to him with a bright smile and big arm movements. When Felix noticed you approaching, he said his goodbyes to the old man and got closer, his eyes always on your best friend as if nothing else mattered.

“Good afternoon,” he bowed and the three of you did the same, “how are you all today?”

“We’re fine,” Jay answered, shaking Felix’s hand and moving to stand next to you. “How are you?”

“I’m fine as well.” His smile widened and he extended a hand to your best friend. “I am looking forward to our afternoon together.”

“So am I.” She turned to face you and Jay and waved goodbye. “I shall meet you here afterwards.” She raised an eyebrow and scanned her surroundings. “Where’s Lord Jeno? Shouldn’t he be here by now?”

“Perhaps, he’s late,” you answered, offering her a reassuring smile. “You should go. I am sure,” you glanced at Jay, “Lord Jay will be here for you once you are back. You won’t go home alone.”

“I could also take her home,” Felix said, focusing his attention on Jay, “if you would be fine with that, my Lord.”

Instead of answering, Jay cleared his throat and smiled at his sister fondly, and the seriousness of her expression faded slightly.

“I feel this is a question you should answer, sister,” Jay said and turned to face you. “I’ll keep Lady Y/N company while she waits for Lord Jeno. If after you are back you’d like sir Felix to walk you home, simply let me know. I would be fine either way.”

“Thank you, brother.”

They started to move away and walk towards the wooden pier where the old man was already preparing a boat for the two of them. Felix stepped in first and helped her in after him and once they were both sitting on the boat, Felix started to paddle them away. The two of them drifted on the boat, already chatting with one another and laughing at whatever joke Felix was telling.

You smiled, satisfied with the result. Felix and your best friend certainly looked well together and the love they shared for one another was wonderful to witness. Of course, all of this had happened because you and Jay had joined forces.

“We make a great team,” you said, smiling at Jay. “Thank you for trusting me to help you find a suitor for your sister.”

“Thank you for helping me on that task, Lady Y/N.” He bowed. “I will forever be indebted to you.”

“There are no debts between us and there never will be, my Lord.”

Between us, there is only love.

You shook your head, trying to send this intrusive thought away. This wasn’t the time to think of Jay that way. You should never think of him in this light. The two of you were just friends and nothing more. After all, he had shown no interest in courting you this season.

Jay cleared his throat and glanced at his pocket watch, putting it back almost immediately. The two of you remained next to each other, glancing at one another in silence, looking away whenever your eyes met. You eventually shifted your focus to the lake, allowing the stillness of the water to bring you to a state of relaxation.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there without moving but as more people joined the other boats docked nearby to spend some time at the lake, you convinced yourself that Jeno wasn’t going to come. When you asked Jay how long it had been since you had arrived, he checked his pocket watch again and glanced at you.

“It’s been about thirty minutes. Are you sure Lord Jeno is coming?”

“I’m certain he isn’t coming.” Jeno was never this late, he was always punctual. You offered Jay a smile and started to walk towards the stone path where you had come from. “I’ll head home. There is no need for me to stay.” A sad chuckle escaped your lips. “I’m afraid staying any longer will make me more miserable than I already am.”

“Perhaps you’d like to join me on one of the boats?” You stopped but didn’t turn around. “Or I could take you home. Whatever makes you feel less… miserable.”

You gulped, slapping yourself mentally for the statement you had said out loud. He wasn’t supposed to have heard it, no one was.

Slowly, you turned around and glanced at the lake in front of you. Jay’s invitation sounded particularly wonderful, especially under today’s weather. Besides, you’d have him as your company and you always found yourself at ease whenever you were near him.

“I do not wish to bother you.” You bit your lip and took a few steps towards him. When you glanced his way, it appeared to you he was just as nervous as you were. “I understand you are simply being polite-”

“-I’m not just being polite-”

“-but if you wouldn’t mind, I’d be very pleased if you’d allow me to join in one of these boats.”

“Oh,” Jay said more to himself than to you. His eyes studied your expression and this time, you didn’t look away. Strangely, you liked it when he looked at you, when his eyes admired your features. It made you feel special.

It also set your heart on fire.

“I would like nothing more, my Lady.”

After a shy exchange of smiles, the two of you walked towards the wooden pier, Jay carefully leading you with your gloved hand in his. After speaking with the older man and paying a small fee, Jay stepped onto one of the wooden boats - that now appeared much smaller and more dangerous than before - and extended a hand your way.

“Are you certain I won’t fall?” You asked, nervously glancing between the shaking boat and Jay’s eyes. “I don’t know how to swim, my Lord.”

“I won’t let you fall.” He had an amused smile on his lips. “Just place one foot first and then the other. I will be holding your hand the whole time.”

Trusting Jay and his words, you moved closer to the edge of the pier and lowered one of your legs onto the wooden boat, feeling it shake as soon as you shifted some of your weight into it. Jay tightened his grip on your hand and his other hand found your waist where he softly pressed it. You glanced straight at him and your breathing grew somewhat frail.

“I’m just making sure you don’t fall,” he whispered and glanced at the pier with an amused smile. “The other leg, my Lady.”

“Of course.”

Supporting most of your weight on Jay, you moved your leg to the inside of the boat, feeling it shake once again under you. Jay’s grip around your waist tightened slightly as he tried to lower you onto one of the seating areas of the boat.

“It’ll be easier when you are seated.”

You nodded and lowered yourself, fixing your dress as you sat down, opening your lace umbrella once again, fanning yourself with your free hand. Here, was certainly hotter.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to be away from the pier and onto the quietness and charm of the lake. Your eyes focused on the birds flying happily towards the trees, on the water sparkling in the distance while being kissed by the sun. Even the greenery swayed at the rhythm of the wind, a soft dance that made you take a deep breath and relax for the first time since you entered this boat.

When you glanced back at Jay, he too was glancing at the view around him. However, instead of peace, his eyes carried sorrow and worry.

You cleared your throat, trying to get his attention. He didn’t budge. You did it again, this time louder, and after a quick glance your way, Jay turned to face you.

“I can tell you are distressed, my Lord. I could lend you an ear if you’d like.”

He chuckled and for a while, kept to himself.

“I was thinking about what will happen after my sister marries. Life will change and my duty to my family will have been fulfilled. I won’t have any other reason to return to the city.”

“Is that so?” You couldn’t help but be disappointed. In your chest, your heart shrunk slightly. “What about you, my Lord? Do you not wish to marry, to find love?”

His eyes lingered on yours for a bit too long before he looked away into a point in the distance. There it was again, that layer of sadness. He shook his head and lowered his eyes, pursing his lips.

“I wasn’t sure, at first. When this season started, I had no interest in marrying. Part of me still doesn’t. But… there is another that grows every day, that longs for love.” Jay shrugged, defeated. “It has become increasingly harder to ignore it, and yet, I cannot act upon it.”

“Why not?” You couldn’t help but ask.

Jay gulped and licked his lips, pondering your words. When he spoke, he didn’t look in your direction.

“Not only is the woman I love about to be betrothed to another man, but I also have nothing else left to my name to give her in marriage. I am a ruined man, after all. And I will die one too. Alone.” He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, still not looking your way. “I am deeply sorry I did not tell you the real reason why I asked for your help in regards to my sister. Still, I could not risk it.”

You nodded, unsure of what words to say to him. Nothing could have prepared you for what he was sharing with you. It completely tore your insides apart and the worst part was that you could not do anything to comfort him or ease his mind. Right now, his pain was your pain and you couldn’t help but get teary-eyed as well.

For a man who did not know of love, he certainly had a lot of it to give.

“Does your sister know?”

He shook his head. “Only my mother and I are aware of the situation. And now you. I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Of course.” You nodded. “You can trust me, my Lord.”

For a while, the two of you didn’t say anything else. You closed your lace umbrella and removed your gloves, dipping your hand in the water, the cold temperature refreshing your skin. You tried to process what he had told you but something else was haunting your mind.

“This Lady that you have fallen in love with,” you started, focusing your attention on him, “do I know her? What is she like?”

Your cheeks grew warmer and it wasn’t because of the sun. You weren’t sure why you were so afraid of the answer or why you even had questioned it. After all, who were you to ask about a Lord’s personal life? Just because you were helping him and because he trusted you, it didn’t mean you had the right to know.

“I dance with her often at the social events of the city,” he said, looking into your eyes. Despite their bittersweet aura, the warmth and kindness you felt coming from them were enough to put your heart at ease. “She is… everything. Not only is she beautiful and graceful, but she is also funny and brave too. I trust her. I love her. But sometimes, love is not enough. Why would she want to marry a ruined man when she can marry someone who can give her everything she desires and deserves?”

You quickly went over all the social events of the season so far, trying to picture Jay at all of them. Whenever you saw him, he was always near a wall, mostly alone or with his family, and it was rare for him to dance. The only time he ever danced was with you. Everyone else he rejected.

Your eyes widened and you had to prevent yourself from gasping out loud.

Jay was talking about you. You were the one he was in love with. You were the one he wanted to marry. You were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

And yet, he couldn’t. Because he was a ruined man. Because someone else wanted to marry you.

“Love is like a blooming flower,” he said, smiling at you. “And you have certainly made me bloom, Y/N.”

— 🤎 —

For the past couple of days, your mind was elsewhere. Whenever you were in a room, people’s voices were muffled in the distance while your thoughts were loud and persistent. No matter how often you tried to get rid of them, you couldn’t.

Your last conversation with Jay played on loop and it didn’t slow down, it didn’t stop. After his revelation to you, you weren’t sure what to say to him. He had admitted he was in love with you. He also revealed someone was going to ask you in marriage. Not only that, but his first revelation was what was making you lose sleep at night: he was a ruined man. After this season, he would have nothing to his name if he wanted to survive.

It was bad. For the remainder of your time in the pleasure boats, Jay confided in you what was truly going on and how he had reached the point where he had to start to sell valuable family heirlooms to make ends meet. This was why he was so desperate to get his sister married. Right now, you were even more relieved that your best friend had found Felix and that everything was going smoothly between them. After your afternoon together, they were already making plans for another meet-up, this one exclusively between the two of them.

Your mood didn’t recover. For the remainder of your day, you thought of Jay and his feelings for you, you thought of your feelings for him, and you thought of his situation and how cruel life was to him.

Sometimes, love isn’t enough. And unfortunately, this was one of those times. As powerful as love was, as deeply rooted as it was within the both of you, love didn’t solve your problems. It only made them worse and you more conflicted. What were you supposed to do now?

A few weeks ago, the answer was clear: you would marry Jeno. But now, that answer was murkier, hidden deep within yourself. You knew what you wanted to do and yet, you couldn’t. Not until you had the certainty that your future would be financially stable like your life had been up until this point.

Love wasn’t enough but it was something. And right now, you were going to hold onto it because nothing else was bright enough to light up the darkness haunting you.

You sighed and exited your bedroom and glanced at both sides of the corridor before walking left toward the stairs. Slowly, you climbed them down, greeting the several servants that walked in the opposite direction with a polite smile and a small nod and entered one of the nearby rooms where you found Heeseung.

“Have you seen my mother?” You asked.

He sighed and shrugged, closing the gazette he was reading and placing it on the couch next to him.

“I believe she is in the study with my father.” He gestured vaguely in your direction. “They are probably discussing what they’ll do in regards to Lord’s Jeno invitation.”

Your heart jumped in your chest.

“What invitation?”

You walked closer to Heeseung and sat next to him with full attention. He opened his mouth and closed it before he shook his head and grabbed his gazette again, ignoring the urgency in your eyes. You snapped the piece of paper from his hands.

“You will speak if you wish to continue reading your morning gossip.” You lifted a finger and moved the gazette out of his reach. “Speak, Heeseung.”

“Someone woke up rather riled up today…” When you didn’t budge, he crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch. “Lord Jeno invited all of us to attend a soirée at his residence this weekend. Rumour has it,” he gestured to the gazette you were holding, “he plans on proposing to you.”

“Me?” You couldn’t hide your shock. “Are you certain of that?”

He nodded, narrowing his eyes on you. You stood up from the couch and started to pace around the room, trying to calm yourself down. This proposal was too soon, everything was happening too fast. It gave you very little time to come to terms with your feelings, let alone fulfil the plan you had been developing in your head for the past couple of days. If Jeno proposed to you, you weren’t sure you’d be able to say no. Or worse, you were afraid you’d regret saying yes to him.

“Why aren’t you pleased about this?”

“Isn’t it awfully soon?”

“Isn’t time meaningless when you’re enamoured by someone?” He raised an eyebrow at you. “You are acting strangely today, Y/N.”

“Well…” You stopped walking as your words trailed off. You turned to face Heeseung and gulped, aware you could not elaborate any further. “You have certainly shared some… intense news with me. I am a bit surprised by it.”

“You seem burdened by it.” He stood up from the couch and fixed his jacket, taking a few steps towards you. “Is everything alright? You’ve been strange ever since the afternoon at the park.” Heeseung sighed. “Is this because I forgot to relay Jeno’s message to you? I have already apologised for that. Please, do not punish him for a mistake I made.”

This was why you couldn’t tell Heeseung what was going on with you. He was heavily protective of Jeno - they were great friends. Ever since this season started, he hadn’t hidden how eager he was for you to meet Jeno, and when he started courting you, Heeseung was so excited by the possibility of something happening between the two of you. For a while, you were too, but right now, you didn’t feel that way anymore. Whatever excitement you had faded.

Heeseung was right, you were burdened by this revelation. And yet, you couldn’t be honest with him about it.

“It was unfortunate that I had to go to the park and not meet with Lord Jeno. But the past is in the past. I have forgiven you as I have forgiven him.” You sighed and smiled at him, quickly coming up with an excuse. “I am not used to this fast pace so I have been somewhat exhausted. Being away for three years is certainly catching up to me. Maybe a night at home will allow me to rest so I can stop acting awfully strange to you and everyone else.”

You were well aware Heeseung could see right through you. Still, you were hoping this was enough for him to stop asking questions.

“Here is your gazette.” You returned it to him and started to walk away, towards the door. “I shall get going now.”

Once you were outside of the room, you took a deep breath and leaned on the wall, allowing its cold surface to calm you down. It was early in the morning but you were already too exhausted; maybe your statement to Heeseung hadn’t been such a farfetched lie after all.

You fixed your dress and leaned away from the wall, making sure you were presentable to greet your mother and Heeseung’s father. Hopefully, she would be available to listen to your concerns and support the ideas and wishes you’d share with her today.

Swiftly, you crossed the corridor with a view to the back of the house, making your way towards the study. Through the windows, you spotted dark clouds in the sky and the tree branches shaking with the wind. It wasn’t particularly nice weather, but you were hoping it wouldn’t last long. The last thing you wanted was for it to rain on the day you’d have to make one of the biggest decisions of your life. That would only bring your mood down.

As soon as you got to the study, you softly knocked on the wooden door, leaning closer to it. The conversation inside stopped and after a while, the door opened to reveal your mother inside, curiously looking at you.

“Y/N? Is everything alright?”

“Is it ok if I have a word with you?” You went straight to the point. “It is… rather urgent. Very urgent.”

“Is this related to Lord Jeno’s invitation?” You shook your head, lowering your eyes. “What is it about, then?”

Over your mother’s shoulder, you noticed Heeseung’s father glancing your way with narrowed eyes, listening carefully to your conversation. When his eyes found yours, he cleared his throat and grabbed a quill and some receipts, reading through them. You knew he was listening to this conversation, though.

“I would like to speak to you privately.” You moved closer to your mother and whispered, “I’m afraid I cannot tell you what it is about here.”

You gulped as your mother studied your expression with an unreadable expression. She pursed her lips and glanced at your hands gripping your dress tightly. She sighed and shook her head, opening the door to study and gesturing inside.

“Come on in,” she said. At your reluctance, she added, “whatever it is, he should be aware of it as well. No secrets should exist between us, darling. We are a family, after all.”

You nodded and after a deep breath, you stepped inside of the office, greeting Heeseung’s father with a curtsy. He stood up from his chair and offered you a charming smile, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of him.

“Please, have a seat. It is wonderful to see you so early in the morning.” He glanced at your mother and after she sat down, he did the same. “What brings you here?”

You pondered your words. Truth was, you weren’t exactly sure how to tackle this situation or how to bring it up. All you knew was that you wanted to keep Jay’s name out of this. For all it was worth, this was a decision you were making on your own.

“I have an odd question,” you said, sitting down on the chair. “And an odd request as well…”

“What is it, Y/N?” Despite the softness in your mother’s voice, you could tell she was growing impatient.

“In regards to our old properties,” you turned to your mother, “our… city residence and countryside home, will they be sold?”

“That is the plan, yes.” Your mother glanced at her husband. “Do you have any news of how it is going?”

“We haven’t placed them on the market yet. There are some interested buyers but we’ll wait until the end of the season to officially announce that we want to sell them. It seems like the most astute option as of right now.” He turned to face you. “Why do you ask, though?”

“I…”

You pursed your lips as your heart jumped in your chest, closing your throat. You knew this was a long shot - a very odd request - but you had to, at least, try it. You cleared your throat and fixed your posture, glancing between your mother and Heeseung’s father.

“What if I became the owner of said properties?” You chuckled, well aware of their confused expressions on you. “I believe they should not be sold. I would like them to stay in the family. With me.”

“With you?” Your mother was surprised. “Since when did you have this change of heart?”

“How do you plan to keep these properties, Y/N?” Heeseung’s father asked. “You know how to manage a household but to keep a property in order… that’s an entirely different world.”

“I’m well aware of that.” You nodded, smiling at them. “I would rely on my future husband to help me. I am sure he will be far more qualified to deal with finances and property management than I am. I could always learn, of course.”

“Your future husband will have properties of his own, darling.” Your mother narrowed her eyes at you. She reached for your hand and grabbed it, offering you a small smile. “I know how much sentimental value our old home holds to you but whoever you will marry will have a place for you to live in.”

“We might choose to sell his properties.” You turned to face Heeseung’s father, looking for support. “I know it is uncommon but it could be done, right?”

“It could be done, yes.” He leaned back on his chair, pondering your words. “It is rare, and it will certainly raise a commotion amongst the social class but it is a decision you must make together. Your future is yours alone but whatever you choose, know that your mother and I will be here to support you no matter what.”

“Thank you.” You sighed in relief and glanced between them before standing up from your chair. “I would like for this to be done as quickly as possible. I want to enter my marriage with the properties in my name already if that’s possible.”

“Of course.” Heeseung’s father offered you a comforting smile. “I will update you on every and all developments. I shall work on this right away!”

After saying your goodbyes, your mother guided you to the corridor and stepped outside of the study with you, closing the door behind her. She glanced at the corridor, and when she was sure the two of you were alone, she focused her attention on you.

“I hope you trust me enough someday to tell me the full scope of this decision of yours.”

“I will, mother. In due time, I will.”

But first, you needed to have those properties in your name. And then, you’d have to speak to Jay about it. Share with him the plan you had come up with. Only then, you would tell her the full story.

For now, all people needed to know was that this was a decision you were taking on your own. Maybe later down the line, you’d let people know the truth: you were doing it to stay with the man you loved and who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

— 🤎 —

The room was too crowded for your personal taste. People walked and chatted softly with one another, occasionally raising their voices to laugh or to greet someone new joining the circle. At first, you thought the night would be easy. All you had to do was be here, smile and be polite while keeping to yourself.

The night started light but when Jeno asked you to greet his guests alongside him, the burden you carried started to weigh more than usual. The comments about how the two of you made a beautiful couple, the questions about your relationship, the assumptions about what was to come. You didn’t know how to react to any of that so you allowed him to take the lead, only smiling and thanking people for their presence on such an important evening to Jeno.

The worst part of the night came when you had to greet Jay and his family. You thought the world was playing a cruel joke on you by making this the first time you’d see him again after his confession at the pleasure boats. Still, whether he had moved on or knew how to play a role too well, Jay kept it cordial with you, even if his eyes carried more than his words ever could.

For the rest of the night, you kept to yourself and avoided everyone as much as you could. You stayed near the walls and entertained yourself with your thoughts and lack of news in regards to your request about your family properties. So far, everything was the same. You had been hoping you’d receive good news tonight but that wasn’t the case. Tonight was dreadful and your hope diminished by the minute.

After the room got too loud and hot, you excused yourself towards the small garden to cool off. Outside, the gentle music that played inside was still perceptible but the voices were heavily muffled by the distance. You took a deep breath and leaned on the stone balcony in front of you, admiring the dark cloudy sky while the harsh breeze cooled you down. The weather wasn’t pleasant but it was better than being inside and having every conversation be about the topic of marriage.

Thankfully, no one was outside so you allowed yourself to relax briefly. You removed your gloves and held them in your hand, playing with the fabric in between your fingers, trying to distract yourself from the question daunting you.

What were you going to do?

You were sure Jeno was going to propose to you tonight in front of all of these people. It was his style - he liked the grand gestures that swooned everyone and made them wish this was happening to them. However, you couldn’t say yes to him. But you didn’t feel capable of saying no either. Maybe you could delay the inevitable for a little while but you’d have to come to a decision.

It would either be your heart or your mind that would win, not both.

Behind you, the door creaked and you turned around to face who was stepping outside. As soon as your eyes landed on him, the two of you got incredibly flustered, glancing at everything but one another.

“I can come back later,” Jay said, rubbing the back of his head. He turned around to open the door again.

“I was about to leave, actually.” He stopped but didn’t turn around. You took one step closer, unsure of how close you could get to him before your body demanded you close the space between the two of you. “How are you? Is everything alright between your sister and Felix?”

“I am… well. And everything is well with them.” Jay gulped and turned his head to face you. He scanned your features before glancing at the necklace on your chest and the gloves on your hands. Jay chuckled and smiled, meeting your eyes fondly. “You’re beautiful. And you look even more beautiful tonight.”

This wasn’t like the previous banter the two of you had exchanged. This one was heavy, it cut through you like a knife. How many times had you laughed and thanked him for complimenting you, unaware of the meaning it carried? How many times had you done the same, oblivious to the effect of your words on him? You shook your head.

“You cannot tell me those things, my Lord.” Your voice was failing you. “Please, don’t make it harder for the both of us. I beg of you. Please.”

He nodded, clenching his jaw and looking away from you. You lowered your eyes and clutched your gloves harder in your hands, slowly walking towards the door. When you passed by Jay, you glanced his way and sighed.

He was everything. And yet, somehow you made yourself believe he wasn’t enough. He, too, believed he wasn’t enough for you. Jay was kind, caring, loving. He was respectful, he listened. He made you laugh and just being this close to him, you felt safe. Was love truly not enough?

“I wish this was all different,” he said, unable to hide the pain in his eyes or the shakiness in his voice. “I’m sorry.”

Jay shook his head and walked away from you towards the stone balcony, staring down at his hands. You gulped, and took a deep breath, trying to recompose yourself before stepping inside.

You weren’t sure what he was apologising for, but you couldn’t help but feel sorry too. Maybe you were sorry because you were a coward. Maybe you were sorry because you hadn’t done enough. Maybe you were sorry because the two of you couldn’t be together. Whatever it was, you didn’t know. Still, it was a feeling that wouldn’t go away now and you were afraid it would never dissipate, no matter how much time passed.

You made your way back to the main room where everyone was enjoying themselves with refreshments and light conversations. You walk towards one of the walls and kept close to it, trying to locate your best friend in the dimmed room, wondering if you should join her or not.

It didn’t take long for you to find her sitting on the main couch in the centre of the room, next to her mother. Felix stood in front of her, unwrapping a piece of paper nervously. He chuckled and mumbled under his breath something to your best friend, and she replied to him causing his smile to widen and his trembling hands to calm down.

After clearing his throat, Felix focused his attention on the crowd in the room and it didn’t take long for him to have everyone’s attention.

“Good evening,” he greeted, bowing slightly to those present. “I hope you don’t mind me disrupting your conversations but this won’t take much of your time.” He gestured to the piece of paper he was holding. “I decided to write some poetry to read to you all tonight. I did consult Lord Jeno who told me it was fine for me to do so. I hope it will be pleasant for all of you.”

Murmurs grew across the room but were briefly disrupted when someone asked everyone to calm down. Your eyes jumped from your best friend and Felix’s soft eyes on her. It was easy to tell who he had written this poem about, and who was his muse. Love hadn’t faded from their expressions, it had only sunk deeper into their lines.

As soon as Felix started to declaim his poem, everyone listened. Word by word, he painted a picture of light colours and bold feelings, hidden emotions and known actions. Soon enough, he allowed himself to feel the words he had written, to be consumed by what they carried. It wasn’t poetry anymore. It was a declaration of eternal love.

When Felix finished, the whole room cheered and clapped excitedly. Gentleman exchanged knowing looks, aware that he had just raised the bar for what a love declaration should be. Several women around you were commenting how lucky your best friend was and you couldn’t agree more. You were so happy she had found someone who loved her deeply for everything that she was.

As soon as Jeno walked to shake Felix’s hand and pat him on the shoulder, you gulped. Your heart picked up the pace in your chest and you felt the need to escape again, to remain hidden or to melt into the walls. However, your wishes didn’t come to fruition because as soon as his eyes landed on you, he gestured for you to join him.

Slowly, you took steady steps towards him, trying to keep a soft smile on your face, greeting everyone who said kind words to you with a small nod. When you reached Jeno’s side, he placed a hand at the end of your back and you jumped slightly, startled by the gesture.

“Is everything alright?” He whispered in your ear. “You look distressed this evening.”

“I am fine, my Lord.” You lied and turned to face him. “I am not used to being surrounded by so many people in a small space, that’s all.”

Jeno nodded and focused his attention on the crowd, moving closer to you. Part of you knew he was doing this to make you feel comfortable but it only made you tense up.

Your eyes jumped across the room trying to find familiar faces. Near the left wall, you found your mother with Heeseung and his father, the three of them offering you reassuring smiles you couldn’t reciprocate.

On the couch in front of you, your best friend sat in between her mother and Felix, completely oblivious to what was happening. Her focus was solely on Felix who was more than pleased to give her his full attention.

“Good evening, everyone. I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves.”

Several people in the room lifted their glasses to Jeno and he smiled, trying to calm the light banter people threw his way. You scanned the room once more, trying to find the person you wanted to see the most, to no avail.

“I thank you all deeply for coming to tonight’s soirée. I am very pleased to have you all here on such a special and important night to me.”

Now that everyone had their eyes on the two of you, you focused your attention on Jeno and concealed your real emotions to the best of your abilities. It was time to put into practice everything you had been raised to do. Always be kind and polite, but not overly cheerful.

“I want us all to celebrate something tonight,” Jeno said and a servant approached you with a small tray. He grabbed the two glasses on it and extended one your way. “I’d like us all to toast and celebrate love.”

“To love.”

When you glanced back at the crowd, everyone had their champagne glasses in the air, glancing at those who they were in love with. Some were shy glances while others were intense stares. Everyone had someone they wanted to give love to.

“To you,” you turned to glance at Jeno and he smiled, “my love.”

He extended his glass your way and you clinked yours against it, taking a sip of the beverage. It was dry on your throat and not the most pleasant taste but you concealed it either way. You had other worries right now.

Jeno had just called you his love. It was the first time he made his feelings so blunt to you which could only mean one thing: his proposal was happening soon. You scanned the room once more getting the same result. Truth was, you weren’t sure why you were looking for Jay but you couldn’t help it. Sometimes, seeing him was enough to know everything would be ok. Right now, however, everything was going sour.

“A while ago, I met someone very dear to me. What started as small but pleasant conversations turned into so much more.” Jeno kept his eyes on you, smiling fondly. “I’m no poet like Sir Felix, but I do know my heart carries an infinite amount of love for this woman. I wish nothing more than to make her my wife and to be with her until the very end of my life.”

For the first time since you had joined Jeno here, his hand left the end of your back. He reached for the inside of his pocket and looked for something, the room growing in chaos and murmurs. You couldn’t fully understand what people were saying but a few words stuck to you: marriage, finally, it is what is right.

When you glanced at your best friend on the couch, she had her eyes on you, but the excitement on her face faded when you allowed yourself to crumble down in front of her for mere seconds. This wasn’t what you wanted.

This wasn’t right.

“Lady Y/N,” Jeno said again, getting down on one knee next to you, “will you marry me?”

You froze in place, unable to speak. The words were stuck in your throat, but you couldn’t let them out. No matter how many times you opened and closed your mouth, nothing came out of it.

The room had grown silent as people waited for an answer from you, expectant of what the outcome would be. However, by now, you couldn’t hide that you didn’t feel the same way towards Jeno. Your heart wasn’t his, it probably had never been his. It belonged to someone else now.

When you glanced at the back of the room, there he was. The man that you loved. The man that you wanted to get married to, to spend the rest of your life with.

Your heart belonged with Jay, not Jeno. And you couldn’t deny that to yourself anymore. No matter the consequences, you could not betray your true feeling now. Not when he loved you and you loved him back. Not when you were fighting to have a future with him. Despite all the uncertainties, you chose to believe that, right now, the love you had for Jay was enough.

“I…” You turned to face Jeno and shook your head. “I cannot marry you, my Lord.”

Murmurs quickly spread like a wildfire. Everyone was commenting on what was happening, telling those who hadn’t listened what you had told Jeno.

You weren’t asking him for more time to think, to ponder his question. You were telling him you wouldn’t marry him. Slowly, your words started to take shape in Jeno’s mind. At first, he was hit with confusion, then denial. The softness and kindness of his features melted when he encountered rejection and finally, betrayal.

When he looked at you, his eyes weren’t loving anymore. They were cold and harsh. He clenched his jaw and closed the ring box, clutching it in his hand.

“You’re a fool.” His tone was stern. He let out a nervous laugh. “It’s him, isn’t he? What did he promise you? A life filled with wealth and everything you ever wished? What did he promise you?”

“Maybe we should take this conversation elsewhere, my Lord.” You tried to grab his arm but he moved it away, shaking his head.

“I won’t leave,” he said in between his teeth. “This is my home. You should be the one leaving. After everything I have done for you, this is how you repay me? Leave. I hope our paths never cross again.”

You weren’t sure what else to tell him. Apologising didn’t seem right under these circumstances. After all, what would you be apologising for? For breaking his heart, for not loving him back? For leading him on? It was all so foolish and lacklustre.

“As you wish, my Lord.”

You curtsied to Jeno and took a deep breath, your vision growing blurry. As you walked away from him, you kept your chin high and avoided looking at everyone else. Your target was a small dot on the wallpaper, a simple motif repeated throughout.

People whispered as you crossed the room, wondering why you had rejected Jeno, wondering who was the person causing you to say no to him. Everyone said how he was perfect and how you were the fool of the situation. He was the one people were rooting for, siding with. You were the one people shamed, snarked at, and threw judgemental looks at.

They were right, Jeno was perfect. He just wasn’t perfect for you.

When you reached the back of the room, you glanced at Jay. You couldn’t get a read of his expression, he didn’t give anything away. His eyes lingered on you for a bit longer, softening the longer you stared at him. You hoped he could read your expression because you weren’t sure words were enough for you to express how you felt.

“I hope you both find happiness in the poverty and disgrace that awaits you.” You turned to face Jeno, shocked. He chuckled, pleased with the result of your reaction. “Oh, he did not inform you of his financial status, my Lady? He is just as poor as a shoemaker or a newspaper seller. Lord Park Jay is a ruined man.”

This time, people weren’t murmuring. They were gasping and subtly pointing fingers at Jay, absolutely stunned by Jeno’s revelation. How did he know all of this?

“Is this true?” You turned to face your best friend who approached, eyes wide open. “Are we truly ruined, brother?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he just clutched his hands and stared at his feet for a while, your heart breaking for him. Out of all the ways for his sister to find out, this had to be the worst of them all.

“This is a conversation you should have at home, perhaps,” you said, giving Jay some time to recover. “A lot of eyes are on you tonight. Privacy would be best suited for this type of conversation.”

“A lot of eyes are on us tonight?” Your best friend turned to face you, upset. Before she could add anything else, Felix placed a hand on her shoulder and offered her a small smile, gesturing at you.

“Lady Y/N is right. This is a conversation you should have at home with your family, not here. There, you can be as loud as you want.” He turned to face Jay. “Would it be fine if I was present as well?”

Jay didn’t reply. He shook his head and walked out of the room, leaving everyone alone. Glancing through the archway, you spotted him on the corridor pacing around while messing his hair and cursing under his breath.

You glanced around the room. Heeseung was talking with Jeno who was just as upset as before. When you found your mother and your eyes met, you gulped, unsure of what you should do. She gulped and patted Heeseung’s father on the shoulder before starting to walk towards you while her husband went to call Heeseung.

When she arrived, she pulled you out of the room and into the well-lit corridor where Jay remained. As soon as his eyes met your mother, he curtsied for longer than necessary and she offered him a consoling smile.

“I am well aware that you are both tired from tonight’s events but we should discuss what has just happened privately as soon as possible.”

“I agree.” You all turned around to find Jay’s mother exiting the room, followed by Jay’s sister and Felix. Her harsh eyes found Jay and he lowered them, defeated. “You have a lot of explaining to do, son. I thought I could trust you with our family’s legacy but perhaps I was wrong all along.”

“Perhaps we should continue this discussion at our residence.” Heeseung’s father emerged from the inside of the room, slightly distressed. “There are a lot of questions we all want answers to and we’d be more comfortable elsewhere. Please, let me escort you out.”

They all started to walk towards the entrance where a couple of servants waited but you remained behind with your mother, waiting for all of them to leave. She kept a hand on your shoulder, her eyes softly studying your expression, an act of fondness more than anything else.

“Your request was because of him, wasn’t it?” She didn’t have to say his name as you didn’t even bother to try and hide it anymore. You nodded softly, not taking the eyes from the small crowd in front of you. “You could’ve trusted me with it, darling.”

“I couldn’t risk it. I was afraid you’d talk me out of it.” You let out a soft chuckle. “It is unusual for a Lady to be the provider of the family. Besides, we’ve been through so much already. First, it was papa’s death, then it was you finding love again,” you turned to face her, your vision getting blurry again. “I was afraid everything would happen again. The rejection, the humiliation, the fear. And yet, I led us right into it, didn’t I?”

She sighed and wiped the tears from your face.

“You make love sound like a terrible thing. It is complicated, yes. It is hard at times, too. If people ever make it sound too easy and magical they are certainly lying or neglecting too much of the truth.”

The two of you started to walk and once you were close to the entrance door, she stopped you and moved to stand in front of you. She caressed your cheek, meeting your eyes slowly, unable to conceal the emotions towering over her as well.

“The hardest choices to make are often those that others do not understand, but that free us deep within our heart and soul. And you are free now, darling. Free from everyone else’s expectations but your own. So love him dearly. You have not made all of these choices and sacrifices just to let him go. I am sure he will love you just as deeply.” She smiled. “His eyes never lied whenever they were on you.”

Your mother kept walking towards the opened front door and bowed to each of the servants nearby, praising them for the wonderful job they had for the evening. You did the same after a while, receiving mixed reactions from them.

As soon as you stepped outside, the faint raindrops greeted your skin and you steadied your steps towards the carriage. You knew this was going to be a long night considering everything that had to be discussed. Still, part of you was somewhat relieved with this outcome.

Now that the truth was out there for everyone to know, you didn’t have to hide your true feelings anymore.

— 🤎 —

The rain fell outside of your bedroom window intensely as you tried to fall asleep in your bed. You tried to focus on the raindrops falling and the wind brushing against the trees outside to distract you from tonight’s events.

It had been a tough, complicated, and very long evening. In between yells of frustration, slight cries of despair and words meant to remain unspoken, all of you tried your best to make sense of the situation.

After your return home, you stayed with your best friend, Felix and Heeseung in the living room while everyone else gathered in the study to chat privately. As much as you tried to insist you’d like to join them, your mother stated it wouldn’t be a good idea and that she would have your best interests at heart.

You decided to trust her this time and for the rest of your evening, you answered your best friend’s questions under Heeseung’s very curious gaze. Occasionally, she would glance at Felix who never left her side and always clutched his hand on top of hers. Despite everything, he did not leave her side and that was admirable. She was the light of his eyes now and your heart was relieved to know that, at least, they would have their happy ending together.

Still, the four of you hung on one question no one seemed to have an answer to. How had Lord Jeno acquired this information?

“Did he ever mention anything to you?” You had asked Heeseung who, until now, had remained a listener.

He fixed his posture on his seat and narrowed his eyes at a point in the distance while patting his lower lip.

“He might’ve mentioned it in passing.” He glanced your way. “Said Lord Jay had no possibilities of courting you due to… limitations. I didn’t read too much into it, but now I know what those limitations are.”

“We all do,” your best friend had said, glancing at Felix. “Do you have any idea how he could’ve found this out?”

“He has the money and influence, love.” He caressed her cheek and smiled. “If your brother was selling items or trying to keep everything under wraps, someone might have tipped him off. There are a lot of possibilities but not enough certainties.”

The rest of your time was spent in silence while waiting for their meeting at the study to end. The servants served some late-night tea and announced that, because of how late it was, Heeseung’s father had offered them to stay the night due to the storm outside.

They all agreed and it didn’t take long for them to prepare to go to bed while you remained alone in the living room, the candlelight flickering and casting shadows all around you, drowning the place in a strange but light sorrow.

When their gathering finally ended, you walked from the living room to the corridor, waiting for answers, to no avail.

“We’ll talk properly in the morning,” your mother had said, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “It is late, you should rest.”

Against your own will, you headed to your bedroom and got ready to head to bed where you were, but you hadn’t been able to rest yet. Your mind ran through all of the answered questions and all the possibilities they could have discussed at the meeting. Had your mother informed Jay of your wishes? If so, what would have been his reaction?

After turning too many times on your bed, you pulled back the sheets and got up, lighting a candle and taking a deep breath. You walked near your changing area and grabbed the light robe and put it on, yawning in the process. Just because you couldn’t sleep, didn’t mean you were tired.

Before heading out of your bedroom, you grabbed your candleholder and peeked at the corridor, lighting out the dark space with it. You glanced at both sides and, when the coast was clear, you exited the room and carefully closed the door behind you. Tiptoeing, you made your way down the hallway as your candle flickered and cast shadows on the walls, the rain falling outside and echoing all around you.

Careful not to fall, you climbed down the stairs and passed the entrance hall and the living room, and made your way down another flight of stairs, these ones less elegant and darker too.

Once you were on the lowest of floors, you turned right and headed towards the kitchen, sighing in relief when you spotted your destination. As soon as you approached the door, you sustained your breath when your eyes found someone sitting on a wooden bench, their back turned on you as their arms leaned on the table behind them, eyes focused on the wall in front of them.

You gulped louder than you intended and he turned around, just as surprised to see you here as you were. Jay got up from the bench and stood there. You tightened the grip around your candleholder, afraid it would fall at any moment.

His eyes slowly traced you from your head to your toes and back to your eyes. You did the same, admiring how his eyes still sparkled under this low light, how the clothing he was wearing wasn’t definitely his, but how he made them look fashionable either way. He was handsome, even dressed in mere sleeping clothes.

“I could return later,” you whispered, afraid of waking up the servants that were sleeping down the hall. “I just came to have some water.”

He hummed and studied your expression again, smiling softly.

“Can’t sleep?”

“One could say that, yes.” You nodded and smiled at him. “Is it the same for you?”

“Yes.” He took a deep breath. “I have a lot to think about. A lot has happened in the past couple of hours that I never anticipated.”

You nodded and started to make your way towards a container on the opposite side of the kitchen where the water was typically stored. After finding yourself a glass and placing your candlelight at a nearby stone counter, you poured yourself a glass of water and took a sip, feeling immediately refreshed.

When you turned around, Jay was still on the other side of the table, ruffling his hair, lips slightly parted. A button of his sleeping shirt let loose and you glanced at his chest before catching yourself and feeling your cheeks getting warmer.

“Do you mind if I ask what you discussed all together in the study? Or are you not allowed to tell me?”

At your question, Jay froze in place, his eyes darting to meet yours. He glanced between them and your lips, smiling softly at whatever thought crossed his mind.

“I was asked about how big my family’s current debt is and I informed them of such. They asked if I could pay it off by selling my family’s current properties - which did not delight my mother in the slightest - but I told them it could be done. I’d probably have some money to spare,” he chuckled, “but no house to live in. Until,” his eyes met yours again, “I was informed of your proposal.”

“What have they told you about that?”

He shook his head and started to walk around the table, avoiding glancing at you.

“Your mother didn’t say much. Only that you had come to them with a proposal that could possibly benefit us all.” He pursed his lips. “I have been thinking about what it could be ever since the end of our meeting…”

You nodded, feeling your heart jump in your chest at a fast pace as you noticed Jay getting closer to you.

“Is that why you couldn’t sleep?”

“Amongst other things,” he said, smiling to himself again. When he noticed the confusion in your expression, he let out a nervous chuckle. “Whenever I close my eyes now, you’re the one I always meet in my dreams.”

When Jay was a few steps away from you, your breathing started to get frail. Everything in your body demanded you to close the distance, to pull him closer to you and simply give in to the feeling that had grown between the two of you and that was now impossible to ignore.

“Am I not pleasant to dream about?” You asked, leaning away from the counter. You placed your hand over his heart, its heartbeat quick under your touch. Slowly, you moved your hand up his chest towards his shoulder.

“You’re the most pleasant to dream about.” He leaned closer to you and his hand found the end of your back. “But tonight I fear what those dreams would be about.” His other hand met your cheek and he caressed it softly, his eyes glancing fondly into yours. “Would you mind telling me about that proposal of yours?”

“I have requested that my father’s old properties stay under my name and responsibility.” You gulped, glancing at your hand resting on Jay’s shoulder. “I did so because I wish to marry you. Not out of pity,” you looked into his eyes, “but because I love you. It is you I love dearly.”

Jay sighed, his eyes jumping between your eyes and your lips, a smile creeping up on his features. You waited, unsure of what to say after such a raw and honest confession. Perhaps, Jay needed to come to terms with what you were telling him the same way you had needed all of that time after he expressed his feelings for you.

His answer didn’t come in the shape of words, rather it came as an action.

He pulled you closer to him, bringing your bodies together at an awfully close distance. His hand travelled from your cheek to the back of your neck and he leaned in closer, your eyes closing as his breath brushed against your neck, causing a sigh to escape your lips. Slowly, his lips brushed against yours, a dance you were both masters at, but doomed to fail in the end.

You allowed yourself to crash against him.

When your lips first met his, a shy curiosity took over, uncertain of what you should or if you should move at all. Your senses quickly took over, deepening the kiss while your body moved closer to his, your hands towards the back of his neck, his soft hair in between your fingers.

This was euphoric, a growing feeling you could no longer tame. The more you held him this close, the more you wanted him closer. You wanted to kiss him whenever you desired, be his today and always. Everything in you burned for him, everything in you wanted him.

After parting ways, the two of you were out of breath. You smiled to yourself, leaning your forehead against Jay’s, trying to collect your thoughts as his nose softly brushed against yours.

“I want nothing more than to be your husband,” Jay whispered, kissing your cheek. “And your friend. Your confidant. Your lover.”

“My everything.” You glanced at him and the biggest grin appeared on his face.

“Your everything. I want nothing more than to love you for as long as you allow me to.”

You nodded. It was comforting to hear Jay say that to you, to know he truly meant it. Still, as much as you both loved one another, as much as you were willing to be by each other’s eyes for the rest of your lives, the hardest part was yet to come.

“Are you certain about it?” You asked, wary. “I know it isn’t common for a Lady to be the one with the properties and such, but this would be the case. And people would probably shun us from society for a while. Other gentlemen could potentially treat you differently now. I want you to be aware of all of it. I know you believe that love isn’t enough, but I believe it is.” You smiled and reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “It isn’t everything but it is enough.”

He hummed, pulling your hands together towards his lips and kissing lightly the top of your hand once, twice, thrice, so many times you lost count. You let out a soft laugh, unable to deny to yourself the happiness splattered all over your and Jay’s features. In this low light, you were sure he shined differently.

“I want nothing more than to be perfectly imperfect with you.” Jay admired your features again. “We’ll get married. You’ll be the owner of your family’s properties and I’ll sell my family’s properties. With that money,” he caressed your cheek, “I’ll pay my father’s debts and, if you’d agree to it, I’d invest in sir Felix’s printing business. How do you feel about it?”

“Relieved,” you admitted. “And happy. Very happy.”

Jay pulled you into his embrace and the two of you stayed like that for a while, relaxing in each other’s presence. You found yourself drifting into sleep as you stayed this close to him and he chuckled, kissing your cheek slightly.

“Perhaps we should head upstairs and meet in the morning? It is late and we both need to rest. It has been quite an eventful day.”

You hummed, keeping your arms around his waist for as long as you could, enjoying this moment while it lasted. After all, it would take a while before the two of you could be this close to each other again. A lot had to be done before then.

But after you got married, you’d be his and he would be yours. And this wouldn’t be all that you’d share. You’d share a home, you’d share a life. You’d share a family too.

And you were looking forward to that. Just like Jay, you were looking forward to being perfectly imperfect with him.

Taglist (join here): @clarakyunisageek @hannie-squirrel00 @misah0e @soobin-chois @acciomylove @jaywonlix @bambisgirl @cutiejoshi @late-minhours @restlessmaknae @gwynsapphire @squiishymeow @shawkneecaps @kpoplover718 @dstarsz Unable to tag: @lolalee24

Please, like/reblog this if you enjoy reading it and let me know your thoughts through an ask if you feel like it; I am always appreciative of your feedback! ©mxxndreams 2022 All rights reserved. Copying, reposting, translating and/or modifications of my work are strictly prohibited. Moodboard images from Pinterest. I do not own the rights to any of them, credit goes to rightful owners. If any of the images featured is yours and you’d want for it to be credited/removed, message me.

483 notes · View notes

loverseon · 2 years

Text

˗ˋˏ YUCK! ˎˊ˗ | 18+ Only (Part One)

synopsis: how can you remain friends with benefits with someone who turns his plushies around during sex, pouts when you don't kiss him goodbye, and spends his time occupying your mind?

pairing: lsm x yn (gn afab)

genre: fluff, romance | pwp, smut

tags: food, character is drunk in a flashback, cursing, domesticity, fwb, sexual innuendos, university au | car sex, degradation/dumbification, dirty talk, exhibitionism, fingering, games, pet names, switch dk/reader, spitting, pnv, unprotected sex

wc: 7.62k

a/n: some grumpy x sunshine dynamics inspired by my favorite song off charli's crash album. deciding to drop this fic in 2 parts instead of one bc the length of this vs my old laptop is e***** my a**. I literally had to delete the sims 😔 kind of excited and scared bc this is my first fic on this blog so comments are deeply appreciated -nu ♡

yuck! - part two

lipglossjun's masterlist

Bare legs intertwined and arms wrapped around each other, DK brings his head closer to yours so that your noses are only a few centimeters apart. He whispers good morning and gently kisses you on the forehead. However, instead of greeting him back, you decide to ruin an otherwise sweet and heartfelt moment by reaching above your head for the closest thing you can find and slamming it onto his body.

“Stop being cheesy. You can’t ‘Good Morning’ me after sex,” you grumble, turning your body away from his.

DK’s large and deformed bumblebee plush he frequently uses as a backrest bounces off his body and plops onto the cold tiled floor where it joins a menagerie of different plushies and discarded clothing items. DK doesn’t do anything in retaliation and only snuggles into your back, wraps his arm around your side, and pulls you closer to him.

“Fuck aftercare. I’m still horny,” he mumbles into your neck while leaving warm kisses on your shoulder. He moves his right arm to your hips and massages your waist with his thumb, pressing deeply and drawing circles into your skin.

The action is enough to make you think about going another round with him, but the scattered sounds of metal doors opening and closing in the distance tell you that it’s almost time for your morning class. You reach to the side to grab your phone from his nightstand to double-check the time. There’s a text from your friend who lets you know he has your lab coat. There’s a follow-up text from him telling you to stop fucking DK so that you don’t get a grade docked for missing lab. As much as you want to laze in bed with DK, you detangle yourself from him and sit up. He whines at the lack of warmth, but you ignore him and make your way to his private bathroom where your overnight bag hangs on one of the metal door hooks.

You can still hear him whining about his horniness as your hand reaches for the toilet paper roll beside you. Not wanting him to continue complaining, you tell him very loudly that you are peeing. You hope it’s enough to get him to leave you alone. At the same time, you hope your voice doesn’t travel through the bathroom vent duct to the other dormitory restrooms.

His whining stops.

You think he’s starting his usual clean-up routine, plugging in his white shell-shaped socket air freshener – the same linen scented one he bought once and then over and over again simply because you complimented it once in passing. He would pick up all of the fallen stuffed animals he’s collected over the years, probably apologizing to them one by one for dropping them and for having sex in front of them. It’s just who he is, and you never understood how you became friends with someone like him in the first place.

You’re blunt, a no-bullshit kind of person. If Eeyore and Squidward had a baby, that baby would be you. So, usually, people like Dokyeom would piss you off. Dokyeom is the type of person who wakes up as refreshed as the type of people in those instant coffee commercials after they have had their morning cup of dark roast. He’s bright and bubbly and too kind for his own good. He’s stopped many roommate disputes simply by tearing up while listening to his “children” – as he likes to refer to them – argue in front of him. He can’t walk to class without waving at or bumping into somebody he knows. Hanging out with people like DK sucks the energy out of you, but DK's miraculously somehow your friend.

Also, part of you knows you lucked out when you became friends with benefits with a dormitory resident advisor a few months ago. It’s convenient for the both of you – because of his single bed and bath suite, you always have a place to stay if you are still on campus late at night. Both of you two never need to worry about being too loud because his room is basically soundproof. However, that luck also meant having a partner who doesn’t understand his boundaries, has an overtly positive mindset, and treats and takes care of you like you are one of his Freshman residents.

“I swear if I get a UTI…” you mumble to yourself while you lock your phone and place it on the sink counter before you wipe. You make a mental note that you still have a few minutes before you have to head to your morning class or else you would be way too late.

When you leave his bathroom, you see he’s making his bed. The resident advisor is fully dressed and happily fluffs his pillows as if you didn’t use them to stifle his moans while riding him just a few minutes ago – not because he was too loud, but because it was seven in the morning and all you wanted to do was fuck. As you predicted, his stuffed animals are all back in place, including the ones that toppled onto his floor. The air freshener is plugged into the socket with its intensity on the highest setting. His curtains are pulled open, and the calm morning breeze gently brushes against the bright green string of pearls plant sitting on his windowsill. In his trashcan under his desk is the tied and disposed of used condom tastefully covered by empty snack wrappers and dirty lint roller sheets. It’s like he lives a double life – one that only you know and one that only his residents know.

You find a small water bottle and a granola bar on your backpack that you left on his desk chair when you arrived last night. Confused, you point at the items and turn to the man sitting on his bed. There is a big dumb smile plastered on his face despite you looking at him with a blank expression.

“What’s this?” you move the water and snack onto his desk so you can swing your backpack over your shoulder. You lean over his wooden desk to double-check and fix your hair in his table mirror.

“Some snacks,” he sings while reaching over to pull a stuffed animal onto his lap. It’s the one he often hugs when he sleeps alone. “You didn’t eat this morning,” he pouts.

“What did I say about not needing to be taken care of?” You frown while grabbing the water bottle and hesitate while looking at the bar you put on his tidy desk. “I hate granola,” you grumble, but you decide to pocket the bar before leaving.

He grabs the paw of the large brown bear he’s cuddling and uses it to wave goodbye, “Study hard.”

You flip him off before closing his large metal dormitory door behind you. His keypad whirs and clicks its automatic lock into place, and you make your way to the hallway elevators.

With each navy blue carpeted step you take towards the dormitory elevator, the wrapped granola bar crinkles annoyingly in your sweats pocket. The more you’re aware of the crinkling, the louder it rings in your ear – and it’s driving you insane. You hate the awful bright green dormitory doors, the sound of the foil wrapper, and the way DK tries to take care of you when all you want is sex. Sure, you can’t say you’re not attracted to him. You’re not the type to be friends with benefits with somebody you don’t have an emotional connection with. Yet, the man doesn’t even have a car. How can he take care of you if he can’t even drive on the freeway? To you, friends with benefits is like a drive-thru – you enter, you exchange for goods, and you exit. For a man without a car, the concept of his drive-thru just seems abstruse.

Even more annoying is DK’s stupid laminated smiling face stapled onto his large classroom bulletin board. DK’s face stares you down front and center while you wait for the elevator to stop on your floor. Below his face are hand-cut expensive cardstock letters shaped in a wavy curve spelling out A Baa-ginner’s Guide to Sleep. Under the title are several large sheep with sleeping facts glued to their centers that leap across a fence in a green pasture. You doubt anybody really pays attention to his bulletin board, but you quickly read through the facts on each sheep to pass the time while you wait for the elevator to arrive on your floor.

On the right side of the bulletin board is a tiny suggestion box nailed to the wall with a washable marker attached to the side of the box. You decide to uncap the black marker and quickly draw facial hair on DK’s face. You think he wouldn’t mind the hair – it’s nothing compared to the number of phallic pictures he had to erase on the whiteboard on his door the first month of school. If anything, he could wipe it off whenever he wanted. You cap the marker and look at his fresh goatee. The corner of your lips turns upwards and then quickly falls back to its resting position.

Your phone in your other pocket coincidentally buzzes when the elevator dings. You pull out your phone while stepping into the empty elevator and press the elevator button for the first floor. You see it’s a text from DK. He sent you a selfie of him and the same brown bear plush he was cuddling earlier. He wants you to know he’s still horny, but he misses you. A lot.

You sigh and unhook your backpack from your shoulder so you can access the front pocket of your backpack. The elevator stops at the floor below you, and you make your way to the side to let other students onto the elevator.

The weather is finally nice outside after a week of consistent fog and overcast skies, so you thought it would be a great idea to study together under the sun. However, about half an hour into studying, Jun is about twenty chapters into a webcomic on his phone, Chan is busy flicking stray ants off the thin bedsheet, and you are about to resort to using ideas from your 2014 costume party Pinterest board you archived into the depths of hell a few years ago.

“It’s giving either pick me or middle school boy whose entire personality is him being a class clown,” Chan says while laying back down on the makeshift picnic blanket you made from an old yellow bedsheet you pulled from your closet. He crosses his arms under his head for support.

Jun grabs the laptop from Chan’s lap and clicks through the options you’ve opened in your different tabs. He squints his eyes at the screen and winces at every single one while he drags his finger across your touchpad, wishing he never saw your options. He shakes his head and pushes your laptop back to you, immediately going back to scrolling on his phone.

You take back your laptop from Jun and frown while clicking on your different open tabs to peruse your options again. You thought it would be funny if you wore the themed costume you were currently going for, but your friends think it’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever come up with – and you’ve come up with a ton of stupid ideas in the past. But you couldn’t see how this simple costume gives off a “pick me” vibe.

“I just think it’d be funny,” you grumble while closing your current tabs to look for more options.

You’ve noticed that you’ve been hanging out with DK more than usual. Sometimes it wasn’t even to hook up with him. You would stay at his place to study for midterms, and the two of you would often end up having dinner or breakfast together. You’ve been in the dorms for so long that his residents often mistake you for another resident. But it’s true, DK is only a friend – albeit one who’s starting to grow on you – but he’s only a friend. What’s the use in trying to find a costume that he would laugh at anyway?

“What did I tell you? You can’t just be friends with benefits with somebody like DK. People like him want long relationships. They like holding hands while walking. They like sending goodnight texts with a cute moving sticker from a sticker pack they paid for attached to it. They consider taking you home to their parents as a date,” Chan quickly sits up to try to see your laptop screen, but immediately lays back down when his vision gets blurry. He uses it as an excuse to skip the gym today.

“You, on the other hand,” Chan turns to his side so he can see you more clearly, “just want his dick in you.”

The other friend tries to stifle his laughter after hearing the word “dick.” You groan and push Chan’s chest, causing him to fall flat on his back again. Although you have to admit, you don’t disagree with him. Getting dicked down by your friend after meeting up with him to try new dessert places he found on Instagram is an amazing experience. You could taste the remnants of his frozen yogurt flavor on his tongue while he kisses you after eating you out. Visiting new places and hooking up afterward? It’s like an extended BOGO deal that doesn’t seem to have an expiry date.

“You say that like wanting dick is a bad thing,” the other friend, Jun, who swapped his phone for your backpack, opens the front pocket to look for something fun to play with or eat that would better interest him.

He pulls out the granola bar you shoved in your backpack that sat untouched since DK gave it to you. He quickly reads the label to look at the flavor and decides to pocket the bar.

“No,” you tell him when you hear the familiar crinkle of the foil wrapper. You reach over to snatch your backpack and your granola bar back from your friend. “It’s mine,” you emphasized.

“You don’t even like those,” Jun grumbles while leaning his elbow on his knee. He huffs very loudly, making it very obvious he is sad he wasn’t able to take the snack for himself.

You roll your eyes and launch the granola bar straight at his chest. It hits him with a hollow-sounding thunk and lands on his lap. Bullseye.

“Jesus,” Chan exclaims, now sitting up. He points at the poor boy who is rubbing the sore spot on his chest with a smile on his face, “What’s with you and chests?”

You shrug, your face void of any expression. You were more of an arm person.

“But going back to Yn and DK, I honestly don’t see anything wrong with them. They’re just friends who hook up,” Jun, who is completely fine, tears the corner of the foil wrapper and pulls it downwards. He moves the remaining end that covers the sticky bar to the side, revealing the snack that lost its original shape after being tumbled and bumped in your backpack. “My last friends with benefits hated my guts. We had absolutely nothing in common too. I literally had to fuck in silence because if we talked, we would only fight. But it only lasted a while because they were only visiting the area, but damn, I definitely wouldn’t do it again.”

He takes a bite of his granola bar.

“Hate fucking can make you grow stress acne,” he casually adds while his mouth is full.

The two of you turn to him in surprise, never knowing about his revelation despite years of being friends. Jun shrugs, unbothered by your expressions, and continues to snack.

“What? I like getting my dick sucked,” he nonchalantly tells the two of you. A tiny piece of oat flies out of his mouth and onto the blanket. You flick it away before the ants can get to it, but Jun doesn’t seem to notice and continues to talk, “You gotta do what you gotta do.”

Crumbs fall out of his mouth while he speaks with his mouth full. Only after he finishes his sentence does he take time to swallow his mouthful and shove the remainder of the bar into his mouth. He swats the crumbs off the blanket and his clothes and crumples the wrapper, looking around for the nearest trashcan.

His eyes land on a group of people moving carts and setting up for an event in the distance. He could recognize the outfits anywhere from the navy blue polo with the university crest embroidered on the left chest to the regulated sand-colored khakis every worker has to wear. He’s seen someone wear that uniform more often than he would have liked. Every time he complains about how ugly the polyester polos look, his friend who regularly wears the uniform only laughs at him and waves goodbye.

Why would RA’s need to wear sports wick fabric? Jun thinks to himself. Do they get sweaty from doing dormitory checks at midnight?

You notice Jun silently frowning at something in the distance instead of getting up to throw away his trash. You turn your body to look at who he’s frowning at, and you see a bunch of students setting up for some university event later in the afternoon. Your eyes land on a familiar silhouette who carries a clipboard in his left hand while pointing at different places to tell his coworkers where to place the different banners and tables. You know it’s him from the crisp khaki pants he refuses to stain to the way he carries himself – the bounce in his step and the way his open hand always falls onto the shoulder of the person next to him to use as support while he’s laughing.

He’s the same person who’s too kind for his own good. You think about the time you went shopping at the mall with him and how he couldn’t bring himself to decline the offer of getting a free scrub from the skincare kiosk. You had to stare down the man into applying the product on the back of DK’s arm, but even then, DK spent the next week rubbing medical-grade hydrocortisone cream on his rash without complaining. DK still wonders about where the man is every time he visits the mall to this day. On the other hand, you would never admit to secretly taking matters into your own hand by writing angrily worded reviews on their Google page under Chan’s abandoned elementary school email he uses to sign up for free trials.

“You’re drooling for a man in khakis,” Chan suddenly disrupts your thoughts. “Check yourself.”

You blink your eyes and look around you. Jun is already long gone, Jun's trash tossed in a trashcan. Now, he’s leaning against a tree while chatting up a poor girl who wanted to read her novel in peace. The funny thing is, he seems to be doing pretty well.

Chan, who doesn’t want both you and Jun to go to the party with a date, excuses himself so he could leave to annoy and embarrass Jun. He thinks if he has to go to the party alone, then he’s dragging one of you down with him. In this case, it’s Jun.

Your mind wanders back to the costume party. You can’t do a couple’s costume because one, you and DK are not a couple; and two, DK always shows up as a slutty fireman. It was his thing. He would show up to parties already a little tipsy from pregaming. He would hug a liter bottle of chase in one arm and have a coiled prop hose hanging from his shoulder on the opposite side. His firefighter costume would hang from his waist while DK walks around dapping up his friends in a white sleeveless cotton tank with streaks of grey ash. And the drunker he gets, the more lopsided his firefighter helmet sits on his head, eventually falling off when he crashes on the couch.

To Jun, dressing up as a firefighter is probably one of the sluttiest things DK could ever do. The first is respecting women. You’re number six on Jun’s list.

Someone comes up behind you from where you’re sitting and holds a cold water bottle in front of your face. He turns it upside down and quickly flicks it upright so the water inside the bottle whirls around in a whirlpool.

“Water tornado,” DK laughs while twisting open the white cap and handing the plastic bottle to you.

His lame party trick makes you snort. Instead of complaining about already having your own iced water, you gladly accept his water. You put the cap back on and put it on top of your backpack knowing very well that his booth would be selling refreshments for triple its wholesale value.

He sits next to you on the bedsheet that’s slightly damp from touching the grass. He stretches his legs across the blanket and makes himself comfortable by laying on his back. He asks you where Chan and Jun are, and you point at the two of them pushing each other in front of the girl. You stare at them in defeat.

“Poor girl,” he tsks.

He moves his head onto your lap and you hover your hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun. He quietly stares at you while you use your other hand to open your university login page on your laptop, not really paying attention to him.

Just then, someone calls for DK from the event area. DK immediately sits up but accidentally slams his forehead into your palm. You let out a soft laugh, and he playfully glares at you.

How dumb.

“Just saying ‘hi’ to a friend,” he yells back.

A friend.

“Give me a kiss before I leave?”

“No,” you frown at him while looking away. You were trying to get him to go back to work. It also wasn’t like you called him over. Albeit there is a part of you that is the tiniest bit of upset after hearing DK call you his friend so easily. How dumb of you.

He pouts but gently squeezes your shoulder before he jogs back to where he was setting up.

In the distance, Jun and Chan sigh while they pull out their phones to transfer money into the hammock girl’s bank account. Hammock girl bet that he wouldn’t kiss you even if nobody was near the two of you. She was right. Although, the three of them could agree that a shoulder squeeze is just sad.

He giggles when he sees your face contort in disgust after he holds the body wash under your nose, squeezing it gently so you can smell the scent. He takes it back and flips the cap closed before putting it back on the store shelf. He takes the bottle from your hand when it’s your turn to pass him your pick, but he quickly passes it back to you after he smells the scent. He shakes his head “no.”

“You don’t like this one?” you cap the bottle and place it back where it belongs. You thought the scent was fine with you.

“It’s too sweet,” DK reads the label on another product, “I feel like it would attract ants.” He shudders at the idea of a line of ants trailing in his bathroom but continues to swing his shopping basket by his side while he browses the bath products aisle.

You don’t know how DK managed to convince you to drive him to the retail store and help him with his next bulletin board design. You think it’s because he knows you drew the mustache on his face, but he suggested you shop with him for a body wash that you would also prefer using because you’ve been staying over at his place more often. You were going to decline his suggestion, but you remembered you were almost out of trash bags and condoms for your place. Because there were only so many times you could visit the health center free condom bowl without becoming one of their regulars, you agreed to his request.

Yet here you are, trailing closely behind DK under the bright fluorescent store lights where the first bottle on mostly every shelf is just a little crooked. The two of you have spent the last few minutes trying to find a scent that works for both of you. To be honest, you couldn’t care less about the fragrance he chooses, but he insists on finding the perfect one – stressing the “t” in “perfect” to the point where it came out of his mouth in a clicking sound. You were more or less focused on how his bicep bulges the heavier his basket gets – practically drooling when his rolled shirt sleeve pushes up just a little whenever his arm automatically flexes every time he adds an item to his basket. You hope he thinks you’re staying quiet because your nose is congested from smelling all of the products and not because you’ve been staring at his arms the entire time.

He taps you on your shoulder when you’re skimming the ingredient list of a 3-in-1, and you look over to see him smiling widely at you as he holds a slim opaque bottle in his hand.

When you smell the body wash he holds under your nose, you give him a tiny nod in agreement. He immediately caps the bottle, drops it in his basket, and heads toward his next destination. The bottle rolls over in the red basket, and you briefly see the scent name while you trail behind its future owner. Its scent fits the man humming in front of you perfectly, and you can’t deny that you’re quite fond of it yourself. You decide to grab one for your place before catching up to him.

About half an hour later, you’re still staring at his arms while he reaches up the grab the hood of your car trunk to slam it shut after helping load the shopping bags. He seems to notice you staring as he wastes time by looking into his tote bag, pretending to look for something.

You hate him, that little minx. Of course, he knows you’re staring at him. He knows exactly how you’re feeling. He didn’t purposely press against you while reaching up for items on higher shelves for nothing. The t-shirt he’s wearing? It’s a size too small, but by god do you think it fits so tightly and so well around his body.

Between stressing about midterms and working on top of taking classes with a full-time course load, your sex drive has been out of sync with how it used to be. You and DK haven’t had proper sex in a while, and you’ve been caught thinking about sex during geology lab (out of all places). Jun was pretty sure you were harder than all of the rocks on the lab table. If one more sex scenario came into your mind, you were pretty sure a diamond would fall out of you the next time you open your legs.

DK knows how to push your buttons and rile you up – subtly and in multiplicities. But in your favorite retail store? Where you go to de-stress and bask in the free air conditioning? The same one that welcomes you with the scent of fresh buttery popcorn when you walk through its large revolving doors? Leave it to DK to ruin the one good thing you had going for you, but if you’re going to fuck DK in your car, then you are going to make him pay for it in the process.

When you shut your car door, the hanging pine tree shaped air freshener clacks with the acrylic figurine keychain Chan brought back for you when he visited Japan during the winter. DK is sitting in the middle seat in the backseat of your manual, already visibly hard and palming himself. He grabs your hand while you move towards him to straddle his lap. Your knees sink into the cushions on the sides of his thighs, and you grind yourself on his arousal, feeling him grow harder and harder under you – days of pent up stress immediately leaving your body. He places his hands on your hips, guiding your movements, groaning when you find your pace – feeling the pool of arousal between your legs leak onto his crotch.

You grab his chin, thumb stroking the stubble along his jaw. He looks back at you with his big dark eyes, and your head dips so your lips can meet his. Your lips are hard and impatient as yours collides against his over and over – mouths working in tandem as he matches your pace and fervor as you continue to grind against him, digging your hips deeper into him when your back arches. You can’t help but smile against his lips and he moans in response, against your mouth. You fill the tiny opening by taking his bottom lip between your teeth, tugging and running your tongue against his lip.

However, he pulls back to catch his breath. His hands have traveled to your ass, and he asks you in the most innocent tone while kneading them between his fingers, “But what about the cars waiting for us?”

You roll your eyes and verbally scoff at him. You point his chin upwards so he’s looking up at you. He gulps while you stare at him, your eyes burning holes into his eyes. He knows you’re mad. But his dick twitches in excitement just thinking about how you’re going to punish him.

“Don’t play dumb with me fucking slut,” the way you jeer at him sends shivers down his spine. He looks up at you with glassy eyes, staying silent while you continue to berate him. “What? Purposely riling me up and then playing innocent when you think about a car waiting for us?”

He continues to stay silent while his breathing gets harder. He can feel his pre-cum leaking out of his dick, wanting desperately for you to sink down on him.

You tilt his chin to the side so you can whisper in his ear, “I’m going to make them watch you fall apart under me until they forget why they’re waiting for us in the first place. You understand?”

He nods his head quickly, thinking about how hot you look at that moment. You reach down to stroke his arousal with your other hand still secured around his chin. He whimpers at the feeling of your hand around him, eager to do anything you tell him to.

“What was the theme that you came up with for your bulletin board?” you pout at him, faking innocence. Of course you knew his theme. It’s all he’s been talking about since you picked him up from school. The concept is a little abstract, but you don’t push him because it’s not your board in the first place. You remove your hand from his chin and slowly trace it down his chest while looking at him with playful eyes.

“S-Simon says,” he hiccups as you unbutton his pants. He bites his lip when you reach his hard-on.

You see he’s red, hard, and throbbing in the palm of your hand. There’s enough pre-cum to drip down the sides of your fingers. You languidly stroke him, relieving some of the tension built up in his stomach. He hisses in response, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the headrest.

“Simon says to tell me what you’re thinking.”

DK draws in an unsteady breath and groans while you continue stroking him up and down, slowly adding speed. “I’ve been so horny,” he breathes. “I think about you at night. How you’ll kneel in front of me, naked, and in between my legs. How you’ll slowly kiss up my thighs, leaving wet kisses the way I like them while spreading my thighs apart because you always treat me s-so well no matter how b-bad I’ve been,” he babbles while gripping onto your shoulders, anything that he can grip onto his vicinity.

You rub your thumb over his smooth head while he spreads his thighs a little wider in his seat. You feel your core begin to throb when you hear him shamelessly groan, the sound alone stimulating you further. However, you try to keep your composure while he’s literally in the palm of your hand.

“And…” he trails off for a bit, turning his head and not meeting your eyes. You see the tips of his ears glow bright red as he tries to avoid your stare. “I had wet dreams about you spitting in my mouth,” he mumbles while trying to hide from you despite the fact that you’re still sitting on his lap.

The mere thought of spitting into Dokyeom’s mouth continues to feed the flame burning inside of you, so you decide to continue your game with him.

“What was that hmm?” you dip your head so that you’re hovering right above his lips. He has nowhere to turn except to face you. And when he does, you can tell his eyes are frantically darting between your eyes and your lips. You’re close enough to him to feel his breath on your lips, how his breath hitches as you continue to build his high. “What did you want me to do to you?”

He quickly shakes his head and looks up at you as if to tell you he’s being a good boy by playing the game by the rules. You didn’t say “Simon Says” before your last question. You smile and nod at him while slowly pulling your shorts and panties down, placing yourself on top of his dick. He whimpers upon contact.

You trace him along the inside of your soaked folds, and he immediately bucks under your lap. He’s sweating and very close to becoming overstimulated at this point, but he’s surprisingly enjoying it.

“Simon Says to tell you what you want Simon to do to you,” you taunt him calmly. You align him at your entrance while keeping eye contact with him.

“Please...” he mewls, so desperate that he can’t even properly tell you what he wants. It’s frustrating, and he’s frustrated. He throws a mini fit by huffing after pleading.

“Please what?” you kiss along his jawline while he tries rutting up into you. “Did my dumb slut forget how to speak?”

You frown at his action and lift yourself higher so he can’t reach you. You cock an eyebrow at him, trying to get him to tell you want he wants you to do to him. Because, fuck, even you were getting desperate at this point (even though it is mostly your fault for prolonging it for so long).

He finally fesses, “P-Please fuck me so hard that your car ah–”

So caught up with everything, you forget about his size, and loudly moan while you bottom out on him, immediately clinging onto him while you bury your face in his neck. He doesn’t even get to finish his sentence, but he lets out a choked scream as he feels you take all of him so well and so quickly. He feels so tight, so full in you. It reminds you about how much you needed him in you these past few days. He curses under his breath, automatically pulling you into him. He kisses you with so much ardor, running his tongue around yours, that you temporarily forget that you’re only friends.

His large hands find their way to your ass again, sizing you up and guiding it up and down over and over again, making you bounce up and down on him. He groans out loud while he drowns in the feeling of him stretching you open and you clenching tightly around him, hearing the sounds of your ass slapping against his thighs. You feel so good around him, a lot tighter than usual that he has to stop himself from coming immediately. His lips temporarily leave yours with a thin line of saliva still webbed between your mouths when he breaks your kiss. You take the chance to tell him to open his mouth wide, and he quickly obeys. You grab a fistful of his hair and pull it backward. His eyes roll to the back of his head, and you spit on his extended tongue, watching the transparent liquid slowly slide down his tongue. He swallows it and sticks his tongue out again, begging for more.

“Aww,” you coo at him while he tugs on your shirt, a little habit of his when he’s needy but too fucked out to verbally beg. “Dumb baby. Did you forget you’re still being punished?”

You lift yourself from him so that only his tip remains in you. He tries angling his hips so he can be in you again, but you only shake your head at him while trapping his waist between your knees. At this point, he can only whine your name. Your name escapes his mouth in a high-pitched rasp, slowly removing one of his hands from your ass to knead himself. He slowly rolls his balls between his fingers, tugging and releasing the prettiest moans while you watch him slowly get off by himself.

“Fine. Go ahead,” you remove yourself from his lap when you realize what he’s doing. You sit on the seat beside him while you watch him touch himself despite your pussy aching without his touch. “I was going to ask you to choose between me spitting in my dumb whore’s mouth again or ride him to completion, but it seems like he doesn’t need me anymore.”

He pauses what he’s doing to look at you with big glossy eyes. His face is hot and flushed, and you can still smell his musky scent from where you’re sitting. You almost cave when you see him look at you, your heart fluttering a little. No matter how much you love playing with DK, you will have to admit that you have such a soft spot for him. He reaches over to tug your shirt sleeve, but you only shake him off. You can’t allow yourself to swallow your pride no matter how much you want to baby him.

You think he’s going to beg for you to forgive him, but he does the complete opposite. He takes matters into his own hands by leaning over you despite the cramped space. He spreads your legs while he leans in between them.

“What are you doing?” you gulp.

He hovers his hand over your core and looks at you. You immediately nod, and he rubs your nub with his thumb, slowly inserting his ring finger in your cunt. He hooks it at the right spot, immediately making you buck against his hand in response.

“A- Ah. Baby please,” you mewl at him, begging for him to pump his finger. When he only stares at you, enjoying watching you beg underneath him as you fuck yourself on his finger repeatedly, your pride thrown out the window.

“I’m not even moving my finger and I can feel you creaming around it,” he smirks while tapping the inside of you by hooking and unhooking his finger, causing the coil in you to snap as you wail his name while riding out your orgasm.

Now it’s his turn to cock his head in amusement while he watches you desperately cling onto his arm as you continue to come on his single finger. Your eyes are squeezed shut, and your mouth can’t help but hang open while he inserts another long finger into you while you’re trembling under his touch. He continues to rub your nub in figure eights while he slowly scissors your aching and swollen cunt, knowing you’re about to cum again based on how tightly you’re clenched around his fingers, calling out and mindlessly babbling his name over and over again like it’s the only word in your vocabulary.

He feels your juices leak onto his fingers and he pulls them out of you just before your climax hits, holding it up to the large rearview window to see them well-coated with your slick and glistening in the sun. He brings the same fingers into his mouth and licks them clean when he sees a customer walking past the car. He shoves them into your mouth before you can complain, and you close your lips around his fingers, sucking on them and running your tongue around each digit.

“I’m fine with playing Simon Says,” he sighs at you while you continue sucking on his fingers while looking into his eyes. “But if you say you want to fuck me so hard that other people will see, then fucking do it right Yn,” he sneers.

He realigns himself at your entrance, slowly pushing into you. His new angle allows him to drive himself so deep into your cunt that you wail out a choked sob. There are no agonizingly slow strokes as he repeatedly pounds into you, hard, giving you no time to adjust. He ruts himself into you like you’re his toy and grunts while allowing the nastiest words to come out of his mouth, making up for all the time you lost between studying up until that moment. He’s so deep in you that you can feel him in your throat so that you can’t even utter a word, incoherent, as the springs of your car squeak to the rhythm of him relentlessly pounding in you. You’re so cock-drunk that you don’t even notice you’ve came again, this time sopping wet and onto your leather seats. You wail while struggling to keep your lips around his fingers. But they slip out of your mouth with a trail of your saliva and latch around your throat. He’s intoxicating, and you can't seem get him out of your mind.

“Was that too much?” you ask DK while you trace a heart around a plastic stencil he borrowed from the RA from the floor below his.

The two of you are sitting on the white tiled floor of his dormitory room, tracing letters and shapes on the construction paper he picked up at the store. Pop music plays from his laptop speakers, and he has his Pinterest board pulled up on his phone. After much brainstorming and a much-needed shower, the two of you finally came up with a new bulletin theme after scrapping the last one.

“It was the first time you called me ‘baby,’” there is a certain playfulness to his voice.

He proudly holds up the four-leaf clover he made by tracing four hearts on his green construction paper for you to see.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize to him.

Your hand accidentally slips while tracing the figure when DK crawls over to your side to look at your progress, creating a jagged line around the stencil.

“Did that cross the line?” your voice soft yet uneasy. You’re not sure if DK enjoyed the experience in the car. Maybe it was too much, you think to yourself. Maybe, it would’ve been better if you waited until the two of you got to his dorm.

“No…” he sits down on the space next to you and hugs his knees loosely. He thinks about it for a while. “It wasn’t what I expected, but don’t think I hated it,” he confesses while looking at you.

He takes a stray pencil on the floor and fixes the uneven line of the heart that you stenciled. You lean over to pick up his finished clover to compare it to yours. You frown at your crooked stenciled heart, but DK pats your head and reassures you that it’s fine the way it looks. Still, you think you should’ve volunteered to help him type his bulletin board information instead of volunteering to help him do something artistic like stenciling.

“Thanks for helping me with my board today,” he tilts his head to his side while beaming at you. You can smell his new body wash on his skin and the ocean-scented laundry softener beads he uses for his clothes.

It’s your turn to bow your head to avoid his eyes. “I told you I’d help you today,” you mumble while tracing another heart. “And I kind of ruined your original plan.”

“Yn, it’s okay. It didn’t make sense anyway,” he leans over to quickly peck your cheek. He smiles at you and lightly pinches your nose between his thumb and index finger. “Did I ever tell you that you make me the happiest?”

Someone knocks on his door, and he immediately gets up from his spot to greet his resident. You’re left sitting cross-legged on his floor, trying not to make yourself known as the resident advisor talks to the freshman with his door open. You don’t even know why you try to hide yourself. You keep reminding yourself that you’re only his friend and that there’s no shame in being his friend.

But feeling of his lips against your skin lingers a little longer than it should. It’s just a simple peck on your cheek, but it feels like your skin is burning. And for the first time in your life, you don’t complain about his kiss.

3K notes · View notes