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loveysloveclub · 2 months
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𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣. 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬
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₊⊹ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 — secretly pining over someone is never fun—even less so when they’re your childhood best friend, and dating someone else.
₊⊹ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 —all the angst, jealousy, thoughts of inferiority, cursing, big sadness from reader over here, not proofread i got better things to do
₊⊹ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — jack hughes x fem!reader
₊⊹ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 — my valentine’s day jhughes special (albeit a day late ☹️), as promised! sorry it took me so long. couldn’t figure out how to end it. this is unapologetically self-indulgent. also not a wip, but i HAD to do it to em. i’m sorry if your name is brooke or bianca. i love you. promise. maybe we’ll make a part two, if yall like it enough!
₊⊹ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 — @dancerbailey3, @bellstwd, @kashee-h, @crazycat-ladys-blog, @brucewaynegfreal, @love4dlr, @jackhughesily, @leavethemonsteralive, @loveforaugust, @43hughes, @nathandoe, @choppedlamphandscowboy, @bunting58, @angelayse, @ru-kru, @sleepretreat, @nonsensical-nonsence, @maih23 (if your name is white, i couldn’t tag you!)
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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Everyone knows the saying you never know what you have until you lose it. Truth was, you knew exactly what you had—you’d just never imagined you’d lose it.
You never imagined you’d lose him.
A shared childhood and mothers’ who found friendship with each other had brought you and Jack Hughes together, kept you glued even as skin stretched and futures diverged—where he’d gone on to be a star hockey player, you’d quietly came into adulthood, trekking through the difficulties of college.
In your younger years, Jack had always been there. Life of the party, a mirrorball everyone gravitated to for its decadent shine—you, contrastingly, felt like a sore thumb at parties, attending them only to see the smile on Jack’s face. Differing personalities and life routes aside, Jack was your person. The first person you called whenever you were sad, or happy, or bored. The one who knew all of your test scores first, who took hours long flights just to visit you during breaks in the season.
Distance nor time had left a lasting mark on your friendship, kept together by constant phone calls and texts. Whilst you remained imbedded in the hustle of Toronto, Jack was trapped in New Jersey—a gap that you closed every summer, when mutual desire to see one another (as well as his brothers) brought you and him to Michigan for a few months.
From childhood, to high school, to now—it had always been you two. Jokes passed in the years, swirling around with assumptions of the two of you ending up together, finally realizing it after years of proclaimed friendship. For Jack, it’d never been romantic. Loving and caring, a relationship he’d never trade for the world, but the intimacy ended there. Memories of him outwardly flirting with girls in front of you at bars or parties flashed in your mind any time you figured maybe; he’d never given any indicator that you were or would ever be more to him than his best friend.
For you? It was an embarrassingly different story.
College had stolen much of your time—left none for a love life. But truthfully, that didn’t much phase you.
Hookups, flings, boyfriends—all of them paled in comparison to Jack. A childhood crush perpetuated by maturation without loss of contact, Jack had just… always been there. Always a best friend, never a lover; the hanging axe of rejection was too dire a outcome for you to ever consider telling him. Killing a friendship you’d grown with would kill you. And maybe he felt the same way, maybe the kisses he reserved for the crown of your head and the guiding hand he kept on the small of your back meant something, but you couldn’t continue existing if they didn’t.
So, a dutiful friend, you kept quiet, spared the connection and suffered in unrequited love.
And it hadn’t really changed until Jack had gotten a girlfriend. In all your years of knowing him, he’d had a few—though they rarely lasted more than a handful of months, and a selfish and bitter part of you liked that. Sometimes they overstepped, viewed themselves above you in the ranking of Jack’s life; he made painfully clear they never would be.
And it felt good, to be that cherished. But then you remembered he didn’t actually love you and it felt a whole lot less impactful.
Not Brooke.
Brooke, a box-dye blonde with a less-than-stellar reaction to your friendship with her boyfriend, was unarguably beautiful—unapproachably so, someone you’d picture whenever thinking of the girl Jack would end up with. You knew it would never be you, but you hated that it was her, hated that it was finally cemented, the coffin wheeled out.
A friendship you’d cherished for years had been weathered down by the abrasive actions of his girlfriend. It left a bitter taste in your mouth; Jack never seemed privy to Brooke’s nonverbal dislike of you, and you never made comment of it. If Jack was happy, what did it matter? If you said anything, all you’d appear to be was a child throwing a tantrum, the attention torn from them. You refused to jeopardize Jack’s happiness, even if it meant shredding your own.
Brooke tolerated you; that was the best word you could think of. There was surely no excess of love, but you didn’t think she flat out despised you, either. Passive aggressive to the point of just being aggressive, snide looks whenever she didn’t think you could see, intentionally separating you from Jack whenever the two of you were talking—it all made you hate being around her, and by extension, him.
So when he’d invited you to dinner with him—and some of his teammates, a monthly ritual at his house—the knee jerk reaction had been to decline, lie, run while you were still free from the piercing glare of Brooke; because you knew she’d be there, clung to his side, as if you had any intention of taking him away.
… Well, you’d did have the intention. Never the will, so then again maybe she was right to hate you. Feelings you’d never act on, words you’d never say—none of it mattered. She had him. Not you. Never you.
You should’ve said no.
Pouting eyes and pleading lips caved you. As soon as you’d agreed, you’d regretted it—knew in your bones it would only serve to wedge the knife in your heart deeper, solidify the loss of a what you thought would be a lifelong partnership. Your platonic soulmate, twin flame pinched out by hateful fingers.
Getting ready for the dinner felt like preparing for a cage fight, where all night you’d have do endure blow after blow—them kissing, them touching, him loving her in a way you wished he’d love you.
Night blanketed the sky by the time you’d arrived to Jack’s home, shadows slipping by the window, shapes of people telling you that you were likely late—the stone in your stomach had slowed you monumentally. The torture was self-inflicted, you knew. There would be no pity when your heart finally gave out.
She did this to herself, they’d say. Hearts can only endure so much before they break.
Voices coalesced into one as you pushed open the door, welcomed by the familiar atmosphere of friendship and loud laughter. You’d completely forgotten to text Jack that you’d gotten here—and for some reason, as you crossed the threshold into the gaping space of his living room, you felt like an outsider. Sudden eyes landed on you like bullets, and all you saw was Jack—his side taken dutifully by Brooke, always beautiful, striking in a way you didn’t think you’d ever been.
Looking at her, it made sense why she was the one Jack chose. Why you hadn’t been. A best friend. Childhood acquaintance. Faded t-shirt he’d strung along for too many years, even as the design weathered away and the fabric weakened. He’d gotten a shiny new one, the novelty still in tact, yet he hadn’t let you go.
Some part of you, deep in the caves of your wounded heart, wished Brooke would ban him from your presence. Maybe then your hurt would lessen. You knew you’d never be able to let go on your own.
Jack’s eyes caught you, stood awkwardly in the mouth of the hallway. He attempted to stand, only for Brooke to tug him down by his t-shirt—the shirt you’d bought him for his birthday last year, impressed with two hearts holding hands. She said something to him, something low and hissed between clenched teeth. Before you could see his reaction, Nico was invading your space, arms winding around you.
“There she is!” he announced, the ground leaving your feet as he lifted you playfully. “We were waiting on you to eat. Sure do like to take your time.”
Residual bitterness faded at Nico’s words—Jack may have been your best friend, but years of being attached to him introduced you to his teammates; they were always kind, if a little overbearing. A big brother that toed the line of overprotective and well-wishing.
Grateful for the attention distractor, you allowed your shoulders to relax and lungs to decompress. The first cut at seeing Jack, still happily in love with Brooke, was already dealt; you just needed to get through the dinner, and not look like a hostage while doing so.
“Yeah, yeah,” you laughed, shoving Nico’s shoulder as he brought you towards where the others were gathered in the living room. “Make fun of me for driving like a grandma all you want, at least I’m safe.”
Not looking at Jack took more self control than you’d care to admit. Blurring in your peripheral, a mess of colors stacked atop one another, you knew if you glanced—saw the claim Brooke was staking for all to see—it would only make you want to leave. So you didn’t.
Luke was next to greet you, offering a pity-imbued smile. Despite never mentioning your affections for his older brother, you knew he knew; saw it in the way he would look at you, the frowns offered. In times when Brooke inadvertently talked you down, it was Luke who told her off, put balm on the wound.
A side hug and a soft smile—you barely were able to muster one yourself. “How have classes been?”
You graced Luke with an exasperated groan. “Terrible, thanks for reminding me. Economics is kicking my ass.”
Luke sat. You remained standing. A loose thread peeking from your sweatshirt seemed far more intriguing than eyes you were trying desperately not to meet.
“Tough luck,” remarked Luke, conversations reviving after the novelty of your arrival wore off. You recognized a couple of faces around you—Dawson, Jesper, Alexander, and John. Faces you’d become acquainted with in your years of being Jack’s friend.
The title felt a bitter reminder of your ceiling, never surpassing Jack’s best friend. Loved and cherished, a desired presence, just not how you wanted. Who were you to complain? It was better to be his friend than nothing at all; to have a little piece of him, proof that at one point, you’d mattered enough to get it.
You just weren’t sure if you did anymore.
Where once Jack’s name was a regular occurrence, flashing on your phone screen—texts, calls, FaceTimes, they all faded once Brooke came into his life. Movie nights on his couch, reruns of old films that you could quote down to the last line, stopped. You knew Jack cared enough to extend invites, but at this point, you figured it was more out of pity and shame than actual want of your company.
Beggars really couldn’t be choosers.
Eventually, everyone made their way into the dining room. Chairs lined a large wooden table, one chosen and haphazardly assembled by you and Jack when he’d first bought this house. Scratches imbedded in the finish sent flashes of dropped hammers and clumsy feet into your mind, memories that felt too far to touch.
Mind far afield, you sat down—somewhere between Luke and Nico, far enough from Jack to be inconspicuous but close enough to feel the sharp burn of his eyes. It was petty, you knew, to have still not greeted him. Not that Brooke would’ve likely even let you. A sadistic part of you wanted him to feel even a modicum of the agony that rattled you whenever you were forced to watch him and Brooke, wanted to wonder and question why you were so cold.
Then again, maybe he didn’t care.
Body detached from your mind, the last thing you expected was to be spoken to—least of all by Brooke. But there her grating voice was, verging on overuse, but you knew that was just how she talked. Chafing and annoying and awful—
“Still no boyfriend?” A venomous smile curled her lips; friendly to the untrained eye. You knew better.
Your fingers twitched. The food in front of you spoiled, appetite evaporated. Of course she asked that—both a jab and a reassurance; if you had a boyfriend, her relationship with Jack would be safe. Not that it wasn’t, regardless.
You wished you could scream at her, leap across the table and force her to hear your words: you’d never have Jack. Want him, yes. Spend years pining over a boy who looked to you like the sister he never had, absolutely. But actually have him, feel his love in every touch and kiss? No. That wasn’t on the cards for you; you’d folded long ago.
“Nope,” you drawled. The pressure of Jack’s stare caved you—you caught his eyes, eyebrows creased, the wrinkle of his forehead that made itself prominent whenever he was annoyed.
What did he possibly have to be annoyed about?
Catching Luke’s gaze only irked you further, alit the urge to push out of your chair and flee Jack’s home. Pity swelled in his eyes, the beginnings of a frown quirking down his lips. You didn’t want pity; didn’t want to feel like the entire world was in on some inside joke you’d never understand. Everyone saw it, your love for Jack. Saw the lovestruck comedy that was your life—girl loves boy, boy isn’t even aware of it, hilarity ensues.
Everyone but Jack. And honestly, that was for the best.
You didn’t think you’d be able to handle the frown when he found out. Jack Hughes, always kind, never malignant, searching for a way to politely turn down his best friend without taking an axe to the connection. Really, there would be no bloodless way to let it die—so you lived in moments between, where nothing felt impactful or important or real.
When Jack was without Brooke, you could almost imagine he was your Jack—the one who turned down every girl so that he’d be free to go to prom with you, the one who got banned from a restaurant for life for pouring a drink over your cheating ex-boyfriend’s head. The Jack who always protected you, always cared, even when all of his friends couldn’t understand it.
That Jack who currently hand his arm around the back of Brooke’s chair, shoulders touching—a casual thing, something you’d done with countless strangers, yet it felt impactful enough to make bile swim in your throat.
“Probably for the best,” Luke interjected after the conversation—if it even was that—between you and Brooke came to an awkward stalemate. “Guys are dicks.”
A tension somehow always existed whenever you were in a room with Brooke. One you never wanted, never fed into. Like a shadow, the morning mist, it hung thick as smog. Choking you, nearly forcing you from the room.
“You’re a guy,” you laughed weakly, offering Luke a pointed look.
“No one at college, then?” Nico piped up. You felt bad for not looking at him, but he was too close to Jack and Brooke—you didn’t want to see them.
Cozy, warm in a way you thought only you’d ever be with Jack. Familiar, united. Their relationship didn’t seem as superficial as his past ones had, woven together under the pretense of good sex and no real connection. Watching Jack love his new, perfect girlfriend made you physically ill; and maybe that was dramatic, maybe it made you a backwards person with failing morals—you couldn’t care anymore.
Years of hiding your love, months of watching his own be poured into a girl that wanted you out of his life—it wore you down to your bones, dangerously close to burning to ash.
“Most of them are… strange, to say the least,” you responded with a wince. And that was true; your major seemed to just attract men whose one quality was making women uncomfortable. “Plus, having a boyfriend would just distract me. Finals are coming up and I’m already worried about how I’m going to do on them.”
Luke scoffed. “Hookups exist.”
A wince followed Luke’s words. Eyes fell to where Jessica was rubbing her hand—Jack apologized, albeit half-heartedly. Confusion overcame you; had he squeezed her hand too tightly?
In the past, you’d had boyfriends. Not that they lasted very long. Somehow, there was always something wrong with them—something only Jack could see; he’d endlessly nitpick, nag, explain why your newest boyfriend wasn’t good enough for you.
They were too old, too uptight, not nice enough. Always something. And without fail, Jack was right—scarcely did they make it past the first date before some measly excuse fell from their lips. But maybe it wasn’t them; maybe it was you. So, with an aching heart refusing to connect with any other but Jack’s, you gave up. Delved headfirst into college work and stayed below the waves, even as they began to drown you.
All you offered in response to Luke was a shrug.
Conversation picked up then, thankfully fell away from you. Limelight sufficiently dimmed, you allowed yourself to watch Jack; a habit you’d never quite shaken, even in the embarrassing moments when he caught your peering gaze.
You weren’t sure exactly when you’d fallen in love with Jack—just that you had, and now you couldn’t touch the bottom of him. Water filled your lungs, suffocated you, but if drowning meant being near him, you’d happily do it. Dying in his platonic embrace seemed better than dying all alone.
Ruffled brown hair, the sort of charm that every boy-next-door seemed to possess, and clear blue eyes that shone every emotion like a transparent window to his soul—all of it made Jack Jack, the boy you loved, would admire even in moments he didn’t think he deserved reverence.
You’d seen it all: the self-deprecation after his failure of a rookie year, dwindling confidence, tears imbued with hurt and disappointment, frustration of someone who knew they were better. It was you who’d been by his side, proved an anchor to a person you couldn’t live without.
Yet he’d still chosen Brooke.
For most people, that would be the last step off the cliff, boneless body breaking against the canyon. Not you—so full of hope and dreams, undeterred by every sign the universe gave you. You weren’t his only, but at least you were one.
Jack’s lips parted into a smile, one you could tell was real—his kissed Brooke’s temple, pinched her on the side. An intimate moment in a crowded room. You felt almost as if you were trespassing, a stranger watching two people in love. Part of you didn’t even associate that boy as Jack, because you couldn’t understand how he could love someone so averse to you, so… mean. But then again, it wasn’t about you.
It was about him. Accommodations had been made for years—leaving parties early because you were uncomfortable, blowing off his guy friends to comfort you after a bad date, scrapping his wants and his plans because of something to do with you.
He was probably sick of it. Sick of you, dictating what he could and couldn’t do. Who he could and couldn’t date. Because who cared if Brooke hated you; Jack loved her, despite it all. And that was what made dread swirl into a storm in your heart, ribs nearly cracking under the rate it was thundering at.
Abruptly, you stood. Felt the chair nearly topple. Eyes came to you—Jack’s friends. Yours, yes, but Jack’s foremost. You were just intruding, butting into a life that no longer fit you. Time had passed, the wishful minds of children grown into adulthood. He didn’t owe you anything anymore, especially when all you were was a storm cloud over his parade.
Just as soon as you had, Jack stood, concern clear in his gaze. “What’s wrong?”
Your tongue felt like lead. “Nothing—nothing, sorry. I’m—I need to use the restroom.”
You didn’t wait much longer before leaving the room.
Air felt scarce, lungs punctured and deflating quicker than you could patch the holes. Clumsily, you pushed open the door to the bathroom, steadied your shaking hands on the edge of the sink. Looking at yourself, reflection marred by the onset of tears, all you could do was compare—compare to Brooke, to every girl Jack had ever wanted, ever liked, ever loved.
Was it their features, doughy lips that worshipped him in a way you didn’t? Was it their bodies, womanly and free in a way you didn’t like to be? Or was it deeper, were their souls crafted from the same light, in a way you’d always thought your own had been with Jack’s?
Idiot, fool, dreamer—you were all of it. Like a lap dog, bird in its teeth, you always returned, remained dutifully at Jack’s side for the moment he might open the screen door and finally let you in.
Brooke had every right to hate you. Perceptive in a way Jack wasn’t, she saw what everyone else did—the lovesick eyes, foolish faith chaining you to him, an unrealized desire that would never be acted on. Had you been in Brooke’s place, you would’ve hated yourself as well.
Water poured from the faucet, gathered in your cupped palms. Attempting to desecrate any evidence of tears, you gently splashed the water in your face—went to dry it when you heard the sound of the front door creaking open.
“Oh, thank God you’re here, Bee.”
Cold crept up your spine. Eavesdropping was wrong—you knew that, yet still found yourself leaning against the bathroom door to catch Brooke’s words.
“What’s going on?” came the response, likely the voice of Bianca, Brooke’s best friend. You’d met her once at a game (met was a loose word; she’d given you a snide look and taken to ignoring you the entire time).
Brooke’s voice lowered to the point where you were forced to strain to hear her speak. “You know Jack’s little pet?”
A lapse. Your heart seized, taken by some concoction of shame and surprise.
“No.”
“Yes!” responded Brooke. “She’s fucking everywhere. I asked Jack not to invite her tonight, and lo and behold—”
“Wait, I thought you talked to Jack?”
“I did.” Vexation laced every letter. “I told him it made me uncomfortable how close they were, how she was always around, blah blah. He got defensive, but he said he’d talk to her.”
“Clearly not,” Bianca muttered. “Look, I wouldn’t worry about it. They’re childhood friends, yeah? He probably feels like he has to stay her friend, or something. I mean, Jack’s a good guy, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone; if he dropped her, he’d look like a douche. I’m sure she’ll get the hint eventually.”
Footsteps began, voices fading along with them. “I fucking hope. It’s honestly pathetic.”
Blood roared in your ears, drowned out the sound of your beating heart—if it was even beating anymore. Something bitter and hot invaded your airways, lashed like whips against your flesh. It was no secret Brooke disliked you, disliked the closeness of you and Jack, but to hear it, the vicious way it fell from her lips—it made your gut twist and constrict, pushing bile towards your throat.
Pathetic. They thought you were pathetic, hopelessly waiting, like a dead plant praying for flowers that would never come. Lovelorn, seeking affection that only came by way of friendship and never more; they were right, and it became evident with a strike of lightning to your body.
Is that truly how Jack felt? Was he waiting for you to give up, so to spare you the hurt of being let down? Had you become baggage? Chained to him, the memory of childhood the only thing keeping you relevant, when times were less impactful and his life didn’t center around being a professional athlete. The stain of youth, remaining only for its joyful memory; that’s all you were now—a memory.
Just like your love, it seemed everyone saw Jack’s hints but you. Rose-colored lenses blurred everything but what you wished to see; of course you missed them, ignored them so your narrative remained intact.
God, you were an idiot. A fucking idiot.
Head pounding, the squeeze of an oncoming migraine rattling your brain, you opened the bathroom door. Felt like a trapped bird all the way back to the table—you just had to get through dinner, only an hour or two, so as to not raise any suspicion, and then you could fade from Jack’s life.
Not that he’d notice. He hadn’t even spoken to you tonight, though no fault of his own; Brooke kept her claws deep, and it was clear he didn’t want to risk an argument. Not that you could blame him—she was his girlfriend. Her. Not you. He didn’t owe you anything.
Conversations filled your ears, ostracized you—every time you had opened your mouth before, it had felt wrong, the scratch on a vinyl everyone skipped over. You saw him first—noticeably tense, chair a bit further away from Brooke that it had been earlier. Tensed forehead, hands balled on the table; you longed to ask what was wrong, as you were used to doing. But you imagined talking to him, and it somehow felt wrong, a peasant addressing a king.
Then, your eyes fell to your seat.
No longer empty, occupied now by Bianca, who was talking casually with Brooke, as if her actions hadn’t changed your entire perception of the situation. There were no more seats. No more room. The metaphor wasn’t lost on you, hit with the same sting of antiseptic on a wound—there wasn’t any more room for you at the table, just as there was no room for you in Jack’s life.
Maybe this was always meant to happen. Childhood didn’t remain forever, and it seemed, neither was your friendship. You’d always wondered why Jack had chosen you, someone so dissimilar to himself and his friends. Eventually, you made peace with it. His friendship was a balm to everything negative. Now… here you were again, more ostracized than ever.
What were you supposed to do? The long haul wasn’t meant to have an end.
Everyone was looking at you now. Stage fright, you lost your speech, thousands of eyes from a crowd looking at you, spotlight centered on your face, and you couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t—
Blue eyes found you, stood stonily at the entrance of the dining room. Jack’s eyebrows knitted, confused as to why you were still stood. When he saw Bianca, his lip curled. Frustration sparked, bemusement painted over. Once more that protective streak flared, something you were so used to—it had once felt the greatest trophy, proof that the Jack Hughes cared enough to stand up for you. It felt a sore consolation now, a reminder that, as always, you’d be the meek girl from his childhood he was forced to drag along, defend, shield from his new life that he fit into perfectly, that you spilled out from.
“Get up.”
Then, the attention went to him.
Brooke glanced at her boyfriend, annoyance flashing on her face. Their conversation paused. “What?”
Jack nodded towards Bianca. “She took her seat,” he explained in a clipped voice. “Get up.”
Brooke rolled her eyes. “Jack, it’s not a big—”
“It is,” he interrupted. Tension sparked in the air like a misfired firework. “She needs to sit and Bianca took her place, so—”
“It’s fine!” The words spilled out before you could second guess them. They came out raw and pained and everything you didn’t want to appear as; pity pooled from everyone, that sort of second-hand pity you saw on strangers faces when you’d lose your footing and fall.
It was too much. Pins dug into your skin, all of a sudden too tight. You needed to leave. Now, before your bones crumbled and heart gave out and finally everything burst.
“I—um, I should probably get going, anyway,” you said, nodding as if trying to be convincing. “With finals comin’ up I should get in as much studying as I can.”
Determination was something you’d always admired about Jack; it only irked you now. He stood, shrugged off Brooke’s outstretched hand and came to stand before you, and God—it was a disservice to not admire him, even as annoyance creased his eyes and drew inwards his lips. Beauty, in such a raw form, it startled you. Growing up, he’d always been the center of everyones attention. The hockey prodigy, the first overall draft pick, the franchise player for the Devils.
You? You’d been nothing special. Yet he’d still chosen you. And here he was, apparently doing it again—but why? Why when he had a beautiful girlfriend and a perfect life and fun friends did he always come back, when clearly you were no more than a burden?
You tried not to seem spiteful. You did. But it was so hard to hide your wounds and ignore their pain. He may not have seen them, but they were unfortunately still there. And it seemed they always would be.
“You can’t,” he said, searched your gaze—he’d always been able to see straight through you, with such simplicity it frightened you. You tried to shuttered your expression, hide your pain. It wasn’t a conversation you wanted to have. “Dinner’s just started—”
“Really, J, it’s fine.” Heat bored into your face where you knew Brooke was staring, daring you to express any deeper connection with Jack past the sheltered friendliness you were currently forcing.
You weren’t going to budge. Jack saw that, and so he sighed and glanced out the window. “I’ll drive you home.”
Oh, God. Nothing was ever easy. Pushing and pushing and pushing until you weren’t sure you even wanted to get up anymore, to even try. Every time you did, right back down you went, encapsulated by everything Jack.
Freedom felt a forgotten thing. You couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t love Jack, when he wasn’t at the forefront of your mind, main star of the play.
And honestly, you were tired. Tired of wishing for something that would never happen. Tired of being viewed as the shackle around Jack’s wrist. Just tired.
“No need,” you muttered noncommittally, saw the way Jack’s face twisted with concern and confusion and everything you didn’t want to see. “It’s your dinner, J. With my grandma driving, I’ll get home safe.”
The attempt at a joke didn’t land. Smile didn’t even begin to twitch his lips. “It’s dark outside,” he stated, an obvious fact that held no weight for anyone but you and him. “I always drive you when it’s dark.”
That was true enough; your inability to see properly at night meant Jack became your chauffeur, not that he ever complained—even still, it was another thing he did for you, time sacrificed to accommodate you. Prepared to leave his own dinner, his own girlfriend, just to make sure you didn’t have to do something you were uncomfortable with. Conceptually, it was sweet, a sort of gesture that would’ve normally made your heart soar. Now? It made you feel like a burden, an incapable little girl still hiding in the shadow of her protector, afraid of the sting of daylight.
No more.
“I’m going to be fine,” you reassured. Jack didn’t appear convinced—he never was satisfied when it came to you, to your safety, unless he was directly involved. “Stay and have fun.”
“What if—”
“Let her go, babe.”
Brooke’s voice proved the nail in the coffin; a part of you heard the undertone of excitement shot through her words, the possibility of your leave alleviating any annoyance your presence had brought. Without you, Jack’s attention would be fully on her. Without you, he wouldn’t have to concern himself on whether you were having fun and if you were okay.
You. You. You.
You’d considered yourself Jack’s anchor, the grounding of his mind—unfortunately, you’d forgotten an anchor also keeps a thing in place, forcing inactivity.
Let her go.
It rang like a death knell, struck sharp as a poisoned dart, invisible but so unmistakably fatal.
Gathering what remained of your dignity, you grabbed your purse off of your—Bianca’s—chair, caught the commiseration shining in Luke’s eyes like a tarnished trophy. It only stung, reminded you that you needed pity.
Before you could flee the room like a scolded dog, Jack caught your wrist. Heat bloomed, a fever rushing to your head—his simple touch made you sick with want and need and something deeper that would never be realized or fostered. Something you had to let die.
“Text me when you’re home,” he said softly. Fingers gently squeezed your wrist. Where once you’d feel comforted, you just felt trapped. “Please.”
Not trusting your words, all you did was nod.
Honestly, you’d expected some dark cloud to cover you when finally you decided to move on. A procession of funeral goers flocking like crows, unable to understand why you’d abandoned a years-long friendship over something insignificant. Over words spewed from hateful lips.
But it wasn’t what you’d overheard. Deeper, a more sharp knowledge that even if Jack loved you, held you closer than anyone in his circle of friends, he’d never want you in the way you desired. And for a while, that was okay. Because he existed separate of everything—and then came Brooke, and it all crumbled.
You could handle him not loving you. You couldn’t, however, handle him loving someone else so openly.
Street lights blurred behind tears, a mess of streaky lights like a watercolor canvas. Flashes of nights when Jack would drive you home, insisting on taking the wheel so that you didn’t have to toe out of your comfort zone, they haunted you like a inescapable film reel on repeat in your mind. Memories fogged by lost youth, angry words from Jack’s lips as he’d stand up for you—never a party person, denounced for draining the fun. Jack never let those insults slip lip before he was barking at whoever said it.
A responsibility. A burden. The lines had become blurred in recent years.
The latter seemed more fitting.
Through a barrier of tears, you were able to send Jack a text as your car rolled to a stop in the parking lot.
me
at my dorm
j :)
ok good. u ok? u seemed off @ dinner
Fingers hovered over your screen. Make movements to draft a text. Nothing seemed sufficient.
You let the text stale. Sit stagnant on your phone. Jack would likely worry, eventually call—you just wanted to fall into a void and never return. Not after the mess you’d made of dinner.
The mess you’d made of your life.
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Making a ghost of yourself was far more difficult than you’d thought it would be.
Incessantly, Jack had texted you, called you—you didn’t answer any of them. Silence felt a balm to your shame. Selfish, you knew, to just ghost Jack without offering any explanation, but nothing would be sufficient, not without souring the connection you were hoping would die without pain.
Cowardice, craven, pathetic—you knew you were all of it. To you, you were giving Jack a chance to pull back, to fizzle the friendship of his own accord. Maybe then it would’ve stung less, if the desire of its end was reciprocated, mutual. As it were, it was not.
Even with your withdrawal, Jack still tried. Shot texts, called and punctuated them with voicemails, sent you TikToks and Snaps and everything he would normally do if everything was fine; but it wasn’t. And you knew he knew, could sense the urgency in his attempts at communication.
You felt dirty, filthy with shame and guilt.
Despite your best efforts, you didn’t appear as unaffected as you hoped. While your insides were shredding themselves, you tried valiantly to paint over your visage with the normal happy-go-lucky smile you always wore. Most people, if they noticed, didn’t comment on it.
Unfortunately, Kaylen did notice.
Since your freshman year of college, Kaylen had been your roommate—low maintenance, intelligent to the point of making you stupid without even trying. As such, she was far more perceptive than you gave her credit for.
There’d been times you confided in her about your feeling for Jack, sought out advice that never seemed good enough. Because no one but yourself could fix the valley that had split between Jack and you. You could seek outward help all you wanted, but nothing would change unless you did something—and, really, you weren’t sure that was even a good idea anymore.
Two days of moping resulted in Kaylen’s intervention.
“Get up.”
Sunlight bled through your shut eyes, forced a wince. Hands rolled you onto your back, the somewhat stiff mattress of your bed providing a measly cushion. Sleep intruded on, your hands extended, attempted to push away the figure you knew what trying to rile you.
“Go away,” you grunted, throat thickened by sleep and other terrible emotions.
“No,” Kaylen hissed. When finally you opened your eyes, her squinted expression invaded your vision. “Look, I’ve let you be miserable for two days, but it’s getting ridiculous. What the hell happened with you and loverboy?”
A jolt nearly paused your heart mid-beat. Thinking about Jack stung in a way you didn’t like to admit, mainly due to the fact that it was painfully embarrassing that he had such a control over you.
“Don’t call him that,” you muttered, bit your tongue to stop anything else from spilling out.
Kaylen’s eyebrows quirked. “So it is about him?”
Nails scraped your lungs. “No—yes—fuck,” you moaned, sitting up and balancing your forehead on bent knees. “It’s… all fucked up, K. I don’t know what to do.”
A sigh left her lips. You felt the bed dip as she climbed beside you. “I can help if you tell me.”
And so you did, started at the beginning of dinner to the end, as you left like a dog defeating in a cage match, heart crying blood. Comforting circles were rubbed into your thigh, but all they did was remind you how Jack used to trace shapes onto your leg, or arm, or back—how he touched you, just to know you were there, with him. He said it placated him.
It was shameful, how bile teased your throat even imagining it.
Rationally, you knew everything was your doing. Loving Jack, torturing yourself by being in his presence whilst he focused his attention on his girlfriend. Expecting any semblance of affection or intimacy even as another held his heart, branded her name over your own. It was always going to happen—knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less.
When finally you finished, the conclusion of your mournful, self-pitying tale followed by the sting of unwanted tears, Kaylen’s thoughtful silence waned. Her lips pursed, fingers twitching. You expected her to berate you; what had you expected, stupid girl? He has a girlfriend!
Instead, Kaylen hugged you. “Shit, babe, I’m sorry,” she murmured, pulled back with that pitiful smile you’d seen one too many times—one you’d be fine with if you never saw again. “He cares about you—”
“Not how I care about him, though,” you finished, and Kaylen gave a weak nod.
“I mean, if you told him what Brooke and her little bitch of a friend said, I’m sure he’d leave her. He’s done more for less.” That much was true. Regardless of whose lips it came from, Jack didn’t tolerate disrespect towards you—cut long time friends off for assuming they had any authority to speak poorly of you.
And you knew—knew with the same certainty that you knew your own name—that Jack would break up with Brooke if he knew how she’d spoken of you.
That should’ve made you giddy. Bursted bright light in your chest at the prospect of having Jack to yourself once more. Instead, it made you feel heavy, sand packed into your bones. Who were you to invade his happiness? If he’d chosen Brooke, so be it.
Sure, she’d disparaged you, but Jack’s life wasn’t yours to dictate anymore. If he wanted Brooke, he’d have her, until he decided to leave—not because you decided for him.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Eyelids heavy, the residue of late-night tears remaining on the skin, you felt the fight leave you. Kaylen frowned. “I just want it all to be over.”
She didn’t look convinced. “Seriously? You’re giving up on an eight year friendship because of something some dickface said about you? I thought Jack meant more to you than that.”
Kaylen’s words stung. Made you defensive, because she was right—you were giving up and you did care about Jack, but the pain had become too much. “It’s not—it’s harder to explain than that. He’s outgrown me, K. Everyone can see it but him. I’m an obligation, a burden, and yeah, maybe he loves me as a friend and maybe he wants me around, but his friends never have—his fucking girlfriend doesn’t. And at this point, I just want it to end, I want him to be happy without the conditions of making me happy.”
Silence followed. Contemplation showed clear on Kaylen’s face. You could tell, even without her words, that she didn’t agree—but, she didn’t comment on that. Rather, she placed a hand on your leg and squeezed.
Just like Jack always did.
“It’s your life, babe,” she conceded. “And if you want to do this, I’m not going to stop you—but you have to be content with it.” She gestured to you, the nest of blankets and red-rimmed eyes. “Because this? This isn’t happiness over a good choice. You’re miserable without him, and it’s been barely two days. Think about what you’re doing before it’s irreversible.”
With that, Kaylen got up and went to her own bed, and neither of you made comment of it for the rest of the day.
Her words came again and again like a fractured turntable. Of course you were miserable—Jack had been a constant in your life for eight years, consistently preserving your peace, including you when you’d never felt more like an outsider. Happiness was synonymous with Jack, his smile, his presence, him.
Did you regret your decision? Yes, and no. You regretted the way you’d gone about it. The petty silence, ignoring a person who’d made your younger years bearable. Your friendship deserved a better death than that, a reason rather than just… fading from existence, as if it never mattered in the first place.
That wasn’t the message you wanted conveyed, and so with fingers unsteadied by aftershocks, you texted Jack.
You weren’t sure how you’d explain, if you could tiptoe around the actual reason. Maybe you couldn’t, and maybe that was okay.
me
i’m so sorry for everything. i’ll explain in person. can we meet up?
Your response came half a second later. As if he were waiting. That selfish part of you prayed he had been.
j :)
ofc. my place tn?
me
yeah. that’s good. brooke won’t be upset?
Asking after her made you want to puke, but you knew it was necessary—she didn’t like Jack even breathing near you, having an entire sit down conversation with him was certainly out of the question.
Thrice, the little text bubble appeared and disappeared on your phone screen. You could sense the apprehension without any background knowledge.
j :)
not a problem. we broke up.
It was shameful, the backwards type of pleasure that brought you.
Maybe you were a terrible person. A terrible friend. You tried to reason that it wasn’t wrong to love someone, to wish they were yours.
me
shit j. i’m sorry
j :)
i’m not. i’ll see u tn. 7:30 work? have dinner w the guys.
me
yeah, that’s fine. see you soon, j.
j :)
be safe. i’ll text you when i’m home.
The hard part wasn’t even over, and your heart was already breaking in two.
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Sweat beaded at your palms, the cold claws of apprehension raking down your spine. Countless times you’d been stood here, facing the lifeless beige of Jack’s apartment door. This time, however, you stood here knowing it was the last time. A silent farewell to familiarity, the ties finally cut. Jack would fight, you would cry, and maybe he’d be able to change your mind—it seemed such an unlikely outcome that it calcified every inhale in your throat.
Shaking hands rapped the wooden door, where behind would come the execution of a friendship you’d held like a crutch for years upon years. Your childhood had died, and maybe it would’ve been better had it been left there as well, so as to spare you this heart-rending pain.
Even still, you wouldn’t have traded those years for the world—everything they taught you, through pain and happiness. It made you who you were, brought you to his doorstep with melancholy eyes and a failing heart.
Footsteps echoed on the other side of the door, urgent in a way that picked up your heart rate. The next moments you imagined with brutal clarity—Jack’s hopeful gaze, blue in a way no one else’s ever had been, the soft slope of his nose you teased him for, scrunched whenever he was particularly concerned. How he’d usher you in, hear your words, plead for a moment to explain, and then admit his love for you.
That was how you dreamt it. Unsurprisingly, it was not how it went.
Instead of the door opening to reveal the man you’d love for a lifetime, the squealing hinges were followed by a face that nearly knocked you backwards. Previous indifference smeared into flat-out disdain as Brooke’s eyes caught your figure, engulfed in one of Jack’s faded hoodies and likely disheveled in a way she’d never experienced herself.
Arrows punctured your lungs, sole your breath and defaulted your barely beating heart. Brooke was here. At Jack’s apartment. After they’d supposedly broken up. Had he lied? Was he tricking you, making you the fool? He never would, you knew that, but your wounded mind spun falsities to perpetuate your pain, as if punishment for trusting him in the first place.
“What do you want?” Brooke grunted, leant against the doorframe. Lips twitched into a smirk, the smile of the victorious.
You’d never considered yourself a violent person, but the urge to punch her in the teeth itched your fists. “Is Jack here?”
Her face fell. Something dark flashed in her face—she hesitated a moment, tossed a look over her shoulder. “Yes.”
The curt response was better than nothing, you supposed. “Right, well, can you tell—”
Brooke ran a hand through her hair. Adjusted the clasp of her necklace. “We were kind of in the middle of something. Come back later?”
The axe struck down.
Gravel filled your throat. Suffocated you. If Brooke knew the affect of her words, for once it didn’t show on her face. Years of life had taught you many things, drug you through agonies you wouldn’t relive for anything, yet somehow, this was the worst pain.
To be betrayed, trust snapped by a single action, it stung. Wormed venom in your veins and contaminated your bloodstream, poisoning your heart. Realistically, Jack hadn’t actually done anything wrong. He was allowed to hook up with other girls, to love them—he had, for years.
That wasn’t the issue.
No, it was the fact that he’d set a time, invited you over, and somehow forgot? Or had he set it all up, just to rub it in your face, get his lick-back for your prolonged silence towards him? Either way, it hurt, hurt like a bitch.
Made stone, all you did for a moment was blink at Brooke before a voice called from the background, “Who is it?”
Jack.
Fright found you then, broke away your shell of stone. You couldn’t let him see you, the dog wishing once more to come in from the cold. If he’d planned it, and saw you, he knew he’d won. If he hadn’t planned it, then he realized that—irrecoverably—he fucked up. Both choices felt like a criminal trial you didn’t want any part of.
“I—um—have a good night,” you rushed out, feet stumbling over themselves as you practically ran away from Jack’s door.
So much for closure.
So much for being broken up.
Maybe this was your sign. The one you needed to finally pull away.
Because Jack Hughes didn’t love you. Not past platonic soulmates—a relationship stained with past memories, ones that made both of you incapable of letting go, even as you outgrew it.
You were done being second best. Done trying to squeeze into a place you didn’t fit anymore.
If Brooke was Jack’s choice, so be it. You didn’t want any part of it anymore.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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snowflakes sparks fly au
✭ — summary: sofia's finally admits her feelings for rutger
✭ — warnings: angst
✭ — a/n: …sorry lol. also i don’t know if i like this soz
✭ — word count: 0.85k
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Sofia was struck with nerves, sitting at the café table. Her knee was bouncing and she felt her palms slick with sweat. She honestly couldn't believe she was doing this.
Based on Rutgers text, Sofia had about 3 minutes to perfect her speech. Maybe she should steer away from a speech. More of a declaration. Of feelings.
Sofia wasn't entirely sure where this burst of confidence came from. Over the past few weeks, she'd worked up the nerve to tell Rutger about her feelings. He had agreed to meet for coffee, under the guise that Sofia wanted to bounce some ideas off him for their upcoming final essay. In actuality, Sofia was going to tell Rutger how she truly felt about him. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to practically ambush him, but Sofia didn't know how else to do it.
His latest behaviour, with Rutger constantly cancelling and barely talking to her in class, was maybe a sign she shouldn’t do this. Because what if he doesn’t like her back? What if Sofia ruins a friendship that she felt so comfortable in? 
These thoughts are immediately gone from her mind as she spots him walking on the sidewalk, approaching the cafe doors. He sits down, his brown hair covered in little snowflakes, slowly melting from the warmth of the café. The sight of him brings a sense of ease.
The new season entering Ann Arbor brought joy to Sofia. She loves the winter season, seeing the snow-coated ground and the surrounding houses beginning to be decorated with lights for the approaching holiday. 
"Hey." He smiles.
"Hi." Sofia replies softly.
It's silent for a few moments as Sofia simply looks at the boy across from her. His cheeks were tinged with a light pink hue from the bite of the wind.
"So you wanted to go over the essay?' Rutger probes.
"Oh, uh, I lied." Sofia says. Her heartbeat picks up as she realizes what she is about to say. Rutgers brows furrow as leans on the table in front of him. "I asked you here because I kind of wanted to talk to you about something."
Rutger stays silent allowing Sofia to continue. Any previous plan or words Sofia had thought of went out the window. Her mind was blank with any way to ease into her confession. It was out of her mouth before she knew it.
"I like you." Sofia says.
The words hang in the air as both Sofia and Rutger process what was just said. 
Rutgers' thoughts were going a million miles a minute. While Rutger was over the moon that the girl he'd been infatuated with did return his feelings, the fact that she was Luca and Adam's sister was weighing on him. If Rutger and Sofia were to ever date and God forbid something happened and Sofia was left heartbroken, the two Fantilli brothers would never forgive him. He would lose three people he cared about in one fell swoop.
“I like you as…as in more than a friend. I would say I have a crush on you but that feels a little juvenile and I don’t want it to come across as just that I think you’re cute, and don’t get me wrong I do think you’re cute cause, like, wow you are, but I also just really like being around you and—”
Sofia is suddenly very aware of the fact that she has been rambling and shuts her mouth promptly. “I’m sorry, I should let you speak.”
“Sofia…we can’t have feelings for each other.”
Sofia’s caught off guard by his response. “I…I’m sorry?”
“I mean…Sofia come on.” Rutger says. “You’re Adam and Luca’s sister.”
Sofia furrows her brows. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Well, it would be weird if I dated their sister. I mean I’m best friends with them, they’re practically my brothers.”
“What, it feels like I’m a sister to you?” Sofia asked.
“I guess so.” Rutger says.
Sofia can’t help but let her jaw go slack at his answer. Sofia knew that it would maybe be a bit weird for her to date her brother's friend, but not a complete deal breaker. Sofia nods, suddenly feeling stupid and embarrassed. She was so sure he liked her back. 
“I’m going to go.” Sofia says, standing up, the chair scraping against the floor. The tears she knew were inevitable began to brim in her eyes.
“Sofia… Rutger says, reaching for her but she’s just too far.
“No, it’s okay.” She says, wiping away a tear immediately as it escapes. “Good luck at your game tomorrow.”
Sofia leaves, stepping out into the falling snow, flakes delicately landing in her hair and melting on contact. Despite the freezing temperature outside, her body felt like it was on fire. Sweating under her jacket, she walked down the sidewalk at a rapid pace, just wanting to be in her dorm.
Rutgers' response to Sofia confessing her feelings was much more than just rejection. He made her feel small, like a little girl.
She finally reaches her building, collapsing into sobs when she was safely alone inside her dorm. Sofia couldn’t help but feel utterly stupid, having embarrassed herself completely. Crawling under her covers she allowed her emotions to overflow, crying into exhaustion as she replayed the scene in the coffee shop.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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THE MAN! UMICH AU chapter v. game day
in which, molly's first hockey game goes worse than expected.
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molly wasn't usually nervous for hockey games. in fact, she looked forward to having fun on the ice. but that was back home, with the boys she grew up alongside and not halfway across the world with a bunch of boys who had made it clear that they wanted nothing to do with her.
despite her anxiety, molly did a good job as shoving it all in. after all, there was a high possibility that her coach would decide not to play her. majority of the freshmen wouldn't be on the ice tonight.
entering the children of yost arena, molly was taken aback but the sheer amount of people that bustled around her. college kids were taking photos in their university of michigan merch, parents were here to support their children with their numbers on their backs and little kids carried signs around, hoping to get a puck.
sure, there was always a small crowd back home when she played. but the energy in the arena was electric.
"you good, maxxy?" the girl spun on her heel to find her new friend, dylan duke. he watched the girls big eyes with a humorous expression. "i've never seen so many people in the same place to watch a hockey game."
"ah," dylan breathed out, "so young, so naive."
molly couldn't even get out a word of retaliation before he was skipping off down the hallway in search of his locker room, where him and the rest of the boys on the team would be getting ready for the very first game of the season.
the blonde decided, that in order to not be late, she would have to do the same.
walking down the corridors of the arena she had become familiar with, molly couldn't help but look at her new life under a different light.
sure, college wasn't exactly living up to her expectations and she didn't have many friends, but it seemed that the girl had forgotten what she was here to do under all the stress of trying to fit in.
with a new sense of excitement, the girl skipped passed down the hallway, only to halt in her steps at the sound of a few of her fellow teammates. more specifically, her captain that had made is abundantly clear that she did not belong on his team.
"i told you, bro. coach benched her this game, which means she's mediocre, at best, and she's only here to get us some publicity before she's shipped off to wherever she came from."
and just like that, all the excitement was slapped right out of her body and was replaced by an oncoming wave of doubts. sure, she knew she would most likely be benched, but harry's repeated words of publicity stunt and mediocrity brought an onslaught of new self consciousness molly had never possessed before.
harry was right about something though, molly was benched the entire game. she expected this. freshmen almost never play the first game of the season. she just hoped that she would get some game time in the next up and coming weeks.
after the game, molly stood up against a wall of the centre, texting her friends from back home about what harry had said before the game. she watched as her teammates all celebrated with their families, all going out for dinners together. she frowned at the sight. not only was her mother on the other side of the world, but she wasn't very supportive of her moving all the way to america to pursue a dream she said "was never going to work out."
and don't even get molly started on her deadbeat dad that left her when she was five.
"oh my goodness, you must be molly!" glancing up from her phone, molly was bombarded by a hug by an older blonde lady, whose smile was contagious as molly's face broke out into a huge grin. "i'm ellen, luke's mom!"
glancing around ellen, molly caught sight of luke hughes, with his head in his hands. molly almost laughed at the boy's clear embarrassment of what his mother was doing.
"it's nice to meet you."
"you did so well tonight!" ellen complimented the girl. "i sat on the bench all night?" molly's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but ellen merely shook her head. "but you looked so pretty."
molly laughed shyly, red covering her cheeks at the compliment.
"why don't you join us for dinner?" ellen asked, gesturing behind her to luke and an older man which molly assumed was her husband.
"no, that's okay. i don't want to intrude." molly appreciated the invitation. but her and luke weren't necessarily friends, and she didn't want to impose on his quality time with his parents.
"luckily i'm not taking no for an answer." and with that, ellen was dragging molly to her car which they would ride in to the restaurant, meeting luke and jim there.
next chapter previous chapter
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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everything you write is SO SO good!! can’t wait to read more🥰
omg!!!! thank you so much xoxoxoxo
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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invisible - trevor zegras
previous part
in which, trevor deals with the consequences of telling lola how he felt too late.
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trevor zegras had never felt more invisible in his life than he did right now. summer was coming to an end soon, and lola hughes had barely paid him an ounce of attention all summer. she had been too busy with her new found friend, mark estapa.
even though the boy had come to the lake house with luke, he had spent the entire summer taking up lola’s time.
whether they were sneaking off to sit on the dock alone together or making a mess in the kitchen baking cookies that they would later hide from everyone.
and none of her brothers seemed to care about this new blossoming romance between lola and one of their friends.
trevor had no idea why it bothered him so much. and he had never realised that not having lola always around would be something that would keep him up at night.
and he hadn’t been the only person to realise. which is why hayley was currently scolding him as she packed all her stuff up one week before she was meant to leave.
“i can’t believe you.” she huffed as she zipped up her suitcase. “i don’t even know why you’re mad at me.” trevor rebutted, throwing his hands out. the girl in front of him scoffed and crossed her arms.
“really? you don’t know why i’m mad? you brought me on this trip just to string me along the whole summer.”
“what do you mean?” trevor exclaimed.
“please, trevor. i’m not dumb. i see the way you look at her. the same girl you told me was just a friend, a sister even. the same girl who you told me just liked to follow you around. you told me i had nothing to worry about.”
“who? lola?” trevor’s face dropped and his eyebrows creased in confusion. “who else?” hayley scoffed, picking her suitcase up so it would stand upright.
“i don’t know what you think you saw-“
“no, trevor! it’s obvious you’re in love with her and i stand no chance against her. everytime you mention the lake house, she’s all you talk about. god, i’m so stupid.” hayley scoffed, crossing her arms as she looked at him expectantly.
trevor stood their speechless. he was usually good at lying, but even he couldn’t muster up the lie to tell the girl in front of him that he wasn’t in love with the girl that had made him feel invisible all summer.
“see, you can’t even try and deny it! not to mention the fact that she clearly loves you back-“
“what?”
“god, even you can’t be that stupid trevor. that girl looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars.” hayley wrapped up her argument, turning around and beginning to drag her suitcase towards the door of the room they had been sharing all summer. “my ubers here, call me when you get your shit together.”
trevor couldn’t even muster up a goodbye as he stood deep in his thoughts. he replayed every single interaction between him and the hughes girl. cursing himself for missing the signs, each stuttered word and every blushed cheek.
the clearing of a throat snapped him out of his trance as he looked towards the door to see two of his best friends, alex and cole, standing there.
“how much of that did you hear?” he asked nervously. “enough to know that you are so fucked, my guy.” alex responded, a shit eating grin on his face before both boys turned and left him to his own thoughts once more.
nearing the end of each summer, the hughes brothers always threw an end of summer party. usually, lola was either banished to her bedroom or forced to go home early. but things were different this year, and she was allowed to participate.
quinn had given the order to everyone to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn’t get approached by any creepy men or get too drunk. cause everyone knew, the only person dealing with a drunk lola would be quinn.
but lola didn’t care as she spent the majority of the night clinging onto mark’s arm as they participated in drinking games or danced together or sat in a corner and laughed amongst themselves.
trevor doesn’t think he’s moved all night. he had turned down any invitation to play beer pong with his friends or dance with a hot girl as he watched lola from across the room.
“when my brother said keep an eye on lola, i don’t think he meant all night.” jack laughed as he approached the boy, stumbling over his feet due to his drunkenness. he wasn’t allowed to drink during the season, so he always made it his mission to be the drunkest in the room when he was allowed to drink.
trevor briefly took his eyes off lola to pour himself another shot and quickly down it. jacks drunken smile faded at the sight of his friend, who seemed to be getting drunk quicker than anybody in the room. “you good bro? i know you and hayley broke up-“
“it’s not that.” trevor was quick to interfere with the boys conspiring. jack opened his mouth to question the boy, but couldn’t get a word in before trevor was talking again. “why don’t you care that mark and lola are dating?”
“because she got quinn to have a go at me for meddling in her relationships. and she’s happy, not much to care about. plus, i think they’re just friends who like to flirt.” jack shrugged, pouring himself another drink.
the subtle comment on how she was happy with mark was like a punch to the gut. one that could apparently only be healed by two more shots of random hard liquor that was lying on the bench untouched. jack eyed trevor carefully before shrugging and patting his friend on the back, “i’d invite you to play beer pong but you’re just gonna say no and continue stalking my sister all night. don’t ruin tonight for her, z. cause at the rate she’s going, i don’t think quinn’s ever letting her drink again.”
trevor didn’t even watch jack go as his eyes locked on lola once more. her and mark were awfully close as she stood on her tippy toes to whisper something in his ear. mark laughed at whatever she had said before shaking his head.
trevor, tired of taking shots, turned his back against the happy couple to mix something up for himself. however, his drink was quickly forgotten when he turned back around and saw lola and mark making out.
he was lucky that his drink was in a plastic cup because he was sure it would have shattered if it were glass by the way he slammed it on the table. he knew jack had one simple request of him to not ruin his sisters night, but his drunken state made it impossible to resist the urge.
so, the hockey player sauntered across the room. upon reaching the two, he grabbed lola and dragged her outside.
outside was empty, but he couldn’t risk anyone hearing what he was about to say so he took her all the way down onto the lawn. lola tried everything to get the boy to stop, digging her heels into the ground or trying to yank her arm away, but it was no use.
“trevor!” she finally yelled, the loudness of her voice startling the boy as he dropped her arm and moved to stand in her way so she couldn’t turn and leave.
“dude, what the fuck are you doing?” she exclaimed. “dude? really?” he shot back.
lola was left speechless as she looked up at the angry boy. she had no idea why he was angry, but she didn’t allow herself to care as she scoffed and tried to move passed him. “i’m going back to mark.”
“i can’t let you do that.” he moved back in front of her, blocking her way inside.
“why not?” lola yelled at the boy, shoving him slightly to get him to move, but it was no use. “cause you can’t be with him.”
“you don’t get to decide that. you’re not my keeper and you’re sure as hell not my brother.” she was at a loss for words by the sheer audacity the boy held. he didn’t get to decide what she could and couldn’t do. “am i not allowed to be happy?”
“no, you’re not allowed to be happy. not with him.” trevor knew he wasn’t making any sense, he just hoped she would catch up to what he was trying to say. but by the way her cheeks flared with anger, he knew she wasn’t. “what’s wrong with mark?”
“he’s not me.”
silence consumed the two as lola looked up at the boy, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “no.” she shook her head.
“don’t be with him.”
“no, no, trevor you’re being mean.” lola shook her head, looking everywhere but trevor as tears clouded her vision. he moved forward to cup her face, but the girl pushed him off her. “you don’t get to do this. not now. not after i’ve spent my entire life loving you.”
“lola.” trevor began, but she shook her head to cut him off. “lola, please. please, look at me.” his hands found their way to cup her cheeks again, and he was prepared for her to shove him off her once more when her own hands travelled up to hold his wrists. but she didn’t, she kept her hands there as she looked up at him.
“i’m sorry i didn’t realise it before. but i know it now. i love you lola, i always have.”
lola couldn’t believe it. he was actually saying the words, putting out the feelings she has felt towards him since she was 15.
“you don’t mean that. you’re drunk, and you’ll wake up tomorrow and realise you’ve made the mistake of telling me you love me. and i don’t know why you’re tormenting me like this trevor, but i can’t keep doing this.”
trevor shook his head. he didn’t know what else he could say to make her believe that he was telling the truth. “please.” he whispered.
“i don’t believe you.” she said once more, finally pushing his hands away.
she turned to leave, and trevor realised his window was closing. grabbing her once more by the wrist, he spun her into his chest before smashing his lips onto hers.
lola stilled for a moment before melting into the kiss. she grabbed the back of his head, subconsciously fiddling with the end of his hair.
she didn’t even dwell on the fact that he might wake up tomorrow morning and pretend this never happened, that he might think of it all as a mistake. she had waited years for this moment, and she’d be damned if she was the one to stop it.
trevor finally broke away. lola waited a moment before opening her eyes, only to find trevor already looking at her. his thumbs wiped the tears from under her eyes, the touch soothing and sobering. “i promise i mean it. and i will spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”
“you’re not gonna get sick of me? and dump me like hayley?”
“hayley dumped me.” trevor revealed, rolling his eyes playfully at the shocked expression that coated lola’s face. “she knew that she wasn’t the one i was in love with. and as for your question, i could never get sick of you.”
lola smiled shyly at the boy, nodding her head. “we should go back inside.”
“five more minutes.” trevor smiled childishly before lowering his lips back onto hers. smiling into the kiss, lola allowed herself to get lost in the world that was trevor zegras.
“what the fuck is going on here?” the sudden voice of quinn caused the two to snap apart, moving to stand away from each other. lola looked up at her eldest brother, who wasn’t even looking at her but rather glaring at trevor.
quinn moved in the boys direction, which caused lola to move in between the two. “move, lolly.”
“no.” she shot back. quinn tried to hide the surprise that coated his features. sure, she said no to luke and jack all the time, but never him. “quinn, please.”
the girl looked up at her older brother, who studied her face before nodding and turning back to the zegras boy.
“you hurt her, you insult her, you even forget to make her breakfast one morning, i will kill you.” trevor nodded his head nervously.
lola smiled up at her older brother, who rolled his eyes at her excitement, before wrapping his arms around his neck in a hug. quinn returned the hug, but his glare never left the zegras boy who stood there awkwardly.
“now, let’s go. you’ve got some explaining to do.” quinn told lolly, guiding her back inside.
lola looked over her shoulder, waving shyly at the boy who stood back as she was all but dragged back into the lake house.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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hello hello lovely!!! I was wondering if you had plans to write more on “untouchables” with TZ and Lola?? It’s such a good one!!
omg!!! thank you so much!! i do have some plans, but we'll see where that goes. but their story isn't over just yet!
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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THE MAN! UMICH AU
THE MAN AU
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CHAPTERS chapter i (new opportunities arise) chapter ii (move in day) chapter iii (training) chapter iv (exclusion) chapter v (game day)
BLURBS
PARTY TIME in which, what was supposed to be a fun night takes a dramatic turn.
MEETING THE FRESHMEN in which, mark and ethan ruin molly's chance of making a good first impression with the new freshmen.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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RUTGER MCGROARTY
YOU ARE IN LOVE in which, it's the moment when you realise you are in love and the moment rutger realises he is in love.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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ETHAN EDWARDS
HALLOWEEN in which, you take halloween festivities too far.
A PERFECTLY GOOD HEART in which, isla should have never gotten involved with a hockey player who made it clear he was only after a fling.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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LUCA FANTILLI
DRESS in which, you’ve always been in love with your best friend, but he’s never felt the same.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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MARK ESTAPA
I WISH YOU WOULD in which, you mess up your relationship and spend your days wishing for it to go back to normal.
EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED in which, mark has had a crush on tatum prescott for as long as he could remember. but she had never noticed him, not until that fateful day.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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JAMIE DRYSDALE
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS in which, here’s to my baby, he ain’t reading what they call me lately
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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TREVOR ZEGRAS
THE WAY I LOVED YOU in which, seeing your ex while out brings back memories.
UNTOUCHABLE pt.1 pt.2 in which, lola hughes could never date her big brothers best friend. he was untouchable in every sense of the word.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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QUINN HUGHES
CLEAN in which, phoebe delaware has no idea why it is suddenly so hard to get over quinn hughes.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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JACK HUGHES
MARY'S SONG in which, you had always loved the boy next door.
EVERMORE in which, raven baltimore and jack hughes were meant to be high school sweethearts. but after jack was drafted, the two didn’t work out.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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LUKE HUGHES
SWEET LIKE SUGAR in which, luke’s girlfriend is too nice for her own good.
FOREVER AND ALWAYS in which, it is ally and luke's first and last moments together.
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loveysloveclub · 3 months
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PHILIDELPHIA FLYERS
JAMIE DRYSDALE
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