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They made having blue hair and pronouns illegal in piltover

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Lillia: "Oh this coven is incredibly queer"

Billy, who's still trying to figure out how old she really is: "...as in like, strange?"

Lillia, deadpan stare: "You're a twink, Agatha and Rio just went off to hate fuck in the woods and I'm pretty sure that Alice has accidentally proposed to Jen at least three times, so you tell me what I mean, Teenager"

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Earthly and Divine

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Agatha *5 mins after Billy tried to kill her*: Credit where credit is due that was a total slay. Never let anyone tell you murder is wrong, Kid. Now come with auntie Agnes, we’re getting Toby back.

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Agathario actually started the mistletoe tradition 💋

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Agatha: "Admit it, you prefer me-"

Rio: "Horizontal?"

The Directors: "AUBREY! YOUR LINE WAS "DEAD" NOT "IN BED"

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#Two kinds of lesbian couples (insp)

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Agatha: Admit it, you prefer me-

Rio: Horizontal

Well, damn, if y'all weren't giving sapphic already, you most certainly are now!

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River, after she randomly encountered Tardis during one of her many adventures, walks in to discover 15th and Rogue kissing in the control room: "ooh, saucy. So which one of you pretty lover boys is my husband?"

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My favourite things

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There is an unexplored time period in shield where maria, bobbi, may, natasha, isabel hartley, sharon carter, clint and coulson all worked simultaneously at shield and its a crime that we havent seen anything set in it. that literally sounds like the best thing ever.

like, may has nat in her contacts (season 2 i think). come on.

just imagine the snark.

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Avengers reactions to being called straight:

Carol: The fuck, no I'm not.

Maria Hill: Excuse the hell out of you?

Valkyrie: Ding dong, you are wrong!

Wanda: Who told you that? And why did they lie?

Kate: Rude.

Natasha: *punches the person*

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Wade: Wait… You’re a lesbian?! How?!

Carol: It started off as a seven day free trial, but I forgot to cancel, so here we are.

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Carol Danvers + lesbian tropes

1. She’s a “crazy cat lady” and all crazy cat ladies are lesbians. That’s just a fact. Come on, she literally lives alone with a cat (and probably a ton more cats by the end of the movie).

2. She’s in a marriage of convenience with a man, and historically many lesbians have been in marriages of convenience with men for reasons of safety, survival, and so forth.

3. She wears Crocs, and unfortunately many lesbians are obsessed (for reasons completely unknown to me. 🤢) with that particular type of footwear.

4. She helped raise a child with her “best friend” (*cue “historians think they were really good friends” quote here*) and keeps pictures of said woman and her child literally everywhere.

5. She gives basically every woman she ever encounters that deep, almost pained look of lesbian longing.

6. She can work the hell out of a tank top.

Please feel free to add more! 🤣

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Since we know Kamala writes fanfic about Carol, after her adventure with Carol and Monica, she’s def gonna write something…

Fury: Danvers, you have to see this

Carol: Ugh Fury, it’s my day off and—

Fury: Did you know that Kamala just published a slow burn fluff piece of you and Valkyrie?

Carol: What?

Fury: Yeah, she just published the first chapter and the tags say it’s a jealousy fic, a fake marriage, fluff and angst with a happy ending.

Carol: …

Fury: It’s good but I prefer the series she wrote about you and Maria. Those made me cry and I never cry.

Carol: She what? How did she know about Maria and I?

Fury: Let’s just say an anonymous source told her all about it.

Carol: …

Fury: It’s a good series, she wrote Monica’s character perfectly and even included your stubbornness. You should give it a read.

Carol: No thanks.

Fury: She has you kicking ass in every chapter

Carol: Did she write me punching my dad?

Fury: Yep

Carol: send me the link

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I'm obsessed with Carol Danvers. She's socially awkward. She's a war criminal. She's a cat mom. She's a Disney princess. She hates everything. She could beat the shit out of everyone. She's 60. She's half alien. She's a comedian. She's in a glass closet. She's a girlboss. She's a girlfail. She's everything to me.

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kamala khan would have the most horrendous ao3 author's notes known to man

"hey guys sorry the update is late i switched places with an avenger (ajdgrhsh literally crying) and a really cool space scientist lady and then got into a fight and some alien dudes wrecked my house and then I met Nick fury and I was literal space it was crazy and I had to help save the universe and saw said scientist lady give up her life to save all of us... anyways hope you like the new fic, branching out with an arranged marriage au for this one!!!"