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lu-sn · 2 days
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The devil keywords – temptation, corruption, your shadow self
The devil is one of the 22 Major arcana cards. The one in the Rider-Waite deck has an image of the devil sitting on a throne with a man and a woman chained at his feet. It looks like a dark version of the lovers (and the two are connected thematically and numerologically since the lovers is card no.6 and the devil no.15 – 1+5=6). To put it simply, the devil represents the obsessive pursuit of material goods/physical pleasure which, in the end, leads to the corruption of your spirit. It’s associated with the sign of Capricorn whose dark side can manifest as an obsession with money, social status and power (also fun fact - according to the novel Vegas’ birthday is December 31st which makes him a Capricorn sun according to western astrology). So, what does any of this have to do with the lovers and VP? The devil is also associated with dark sexuality and everything taboo. Also, as I mentioned above, it represents your shadow self aka everything you feel ashamed of and try your best to repress. In VP’s case on one hand, we have Vegas who uses his sexuality as a weapon, is interested in BDSM and enjoys torturing people. On the other hand, we have Pete, probably the most repressed character on the show, who suddenly has to come to terms with the fact that he is a person with desires and that those desires are pretty dark and unconventional. And all of this happens while he’s being held captive by Vegas in the safe house sex dungeon. Vegas, who tortured him almost to death and is now trying to seduce him with his little monologue and a lot of chin grabbing. Do you see where I’m going with this one? We can interpret Vegas as the devil figure from the card – he’s the one trying to make Pete take off the mask he wears around everyone else and stop hiding his dark side. Vegas has seen glimpses of Pete’s true self after all – first in ep. 7 and later in ep. 10 and 11, and is fascinated by it. He wants to see more of it and uses one of his preferred methods – sex, to achieve his goal (and probably starts to regret that decision after he sees Pete’s smile in ep.12 – is Pete truly someone he can handle? But that’s a discussion for another time.) Pete is one of the chained figures and he’s there because he chose so himself by forsaking his personhood and letting himself be seen as nothing more than a weapon by the main family, someone who fades into the background the moment he isn’t needed (is he real if no one can see him?). If you look carefully at the Rider-Waite card you can see that the chains are loose enough that the two figures can free themselves at any time if they wish so. Vegas is trying to make Pete do just that – drop the act and live his life as his authentic self, without shame. He’s also trying to set Pete free so he can put a chain on him himself. And we all saw how that plan backfired on him.
There's also another reason I chose this scene – when the devil shows up in a love reading (surrounded by positive cards) it can mean that the people involved have amazing sexual chemistry. And there are literally chained people drawn on the card. And we all know what happened 30 seconds later in the episode.
*I decided to retouch my old devil card a little to fit my new template instead of drawing a new one :))
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lu-sn · 3 days
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Some hospital thoughts, grace of @lu-sn lu bringing up how Vegas’s face would be all bruised up and swollen from Pete’s fist for the first couple weeks in the hospital.
Pete is too often alone with his thoughts, while Vegas is lying comatose in that hospital bed.
He is not numb, for the most part. Numbness would be simpler. Numbness has often offered Pete a certain synthetic solace, discomforts and desires left to slumber.
Now a radiant, sharp-tasting rage burns steady at the back of his throat; need courses helpless through his bruised knuckles. He did not experience this kind of regret, before Vegas. He did not know before Vegas that despair could live in a person instead of dying and leaving its weighty corpse in the chest.
(It eats at him, this despair. If this is the creature that lives in Vegas’s mind, then it is no wonder he’s dying.)
The contact between his fist and Vegas’s face had felt good. Not the pursuit of retribution--that pursuit has always been a fruitless one. But the punches themselves, the familiar physical outlet laying bare all his fury and desperation and being met with acceptance--Pete regrets how gut-churningly good that part was. He regrets the swollen mess he made, deeper than any mark Vegas’s father laid in his skin.
He cannot bring himself to regret the way Vegas looked up at him when he did it.
It is easiest when he kneels at Vegas’s bedside and dares to grasp Vegas’s wrist--positioning awkward around all the tubes and wires and tape. In those moments, Pete’s hand is a cuff tethering Vegas to this life. Here is the one who owns him. And Pete presses his forehead to Vegas’s limp hand, and knows that he can exist no other way.
It is hardest afterwards, when the ramifications of being owned curdle in his empty stomach. Sometimes he is nauseous with his own choices. Sometimes he stares at the monstrous purples and greens and yellows beaten into Vegas’s face and he loathes both Vegas and himself, loathes his own violent insistence on their living, loathes the violence Vegas worked in him and the voice that met that violence with I love you.
Loving might be miserable. It might be a pattern of bruises that never fades, old wounds hewn ever deeper in the skin. If they let it be, Pete thinks that loving will become a tender tumble backwards into the familiar embrace of abuse.
Perhaps--maybe even likely--that is the life Vegas will give him, and they will both be as their fathers were.
As long as he lives, Pete thinks.
(And if not, let them both be hungry ghosts.)
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lu-sn · 6 days
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Vegaspete + textposts (pt 7/?)
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lu-sn · 6 days
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lu-sn · 6 days
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our hearts are the same.
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lu-sn · 6 days
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lu-sn · 6 days
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POV: The Ball’s briefcase
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lu-sn · 6 days
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PORN WRITERS OF AO3
the #author wants to hear about dead batteries tag has always kinda bugged me, in part because i suspect porn writers who don't want comments about readers getting off to their porn are a small minority of porn writers, which would mean that the norm should be it's cool to comment "do you know how much i masturbate to this", and authors who don't want those comments can have their own tag instead.
but i am speculating wildly, so please reblog and give me some data!
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lu-sn · 7 days
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MDZS CHARACTERS + SVSSS QUOTES
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lu-sn · 7 days
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does anyone else feel weird & not good or is it just me
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lu-sn · 7 days
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i don't usually revisit old drawings but i really wanted to try my hand at a more painterly version of this one and i'm overall happy with how it turned out! the brush i used was kinda finicky -- i think it had tilt enabled by default and my tablet doesn't support tilt mechanics -- but i got it to cooperate, somewhat.
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lu-sn · 7 days
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for darling @kissporsche
Pete Saengtham + text posts (pt. 46/52)
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lu-sn · 7 days
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I am once again thinking about how Pete was supposed to die for the Main Family and he did not, and how Vegas was supposed to die for the Minor Family and he did not. Almost two years later it still unhinges me.
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lu-sn · 7 days
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Head, chest or the heart?
3 of swords keywords - heartbreak, grief, suffering
I think this is one of the most well-known cards - the heart pierced by 3 swords with storm clouds in the background. It's one of the worst cards to pop up in your reading as it indicates that you're dealing with some pretty heavy emotional pain. Unless the cards surrounding it are positive or (sometimes) it comes out in reverse, there aren't many cases in which you can interpret it in a positive way.
Vegas' line popped up in my head while I was trying to figure out which my next Pete-centric card should be and there you have it.
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lu-sn · 7 days
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pete is an early riser. this irks vegas to no end, especially since he's needed twice the amount of sleep after getting shot and he's not very keen on doing that in a cold, desolate, pete-less bed. but pete is a creature of habit, accustomed to training at the crack of dawn from a young age, and he refuses to budge. "i need to stay in shape," he'll say apologetically as he tugs his wrist away from a clingy, cranky vegas. "i'm not about to let you get shot again."
vegas has many problems with this statement, starting with "i got myself shot, idiot," and ending with "you're not my bodyguard, so stop fucking acting like it," but somewhere in between he always ends up twisting the knife too deep, and pete will smile that strained, empty smile that vegas never wants to see again. so vegas has learned, with great difficulty, to let this fight lie.
besides, vegas has discovered a silver lining in all of this: post-workout pete is hungry.
he's sweaty and disheveled, too, if vegas can manage to lure pete to the kitchen before he wanders off to shower, and vegas has always liked him like that. so when vegas has the energy, he'll make tom luad muu from scratch with all of the trappings, slicing up pork blood and intestine and liver in the early light of dawn, leaving them to simmer and burble pleasantly on the stove. he'll pull out strips of chicken he left to marinate overnight (he loves feeding pete meat, he loves it), grill them over open flame, and the enticing scent of it will fill up the kitchen and the hallways beyond. it works like a charm; pete will stumble in nose-first, and the look of awe of his face will settle like contentment into vegas's bones.
and then vegas gets to watch pete steadily work his way through a ridiculous amount of food, humming with satisfaction and moaning in pleasure as he slurps up soup and tears through chunks of meat, licking traces of grease off the corners of his mouth, and something warm and heady will curl in the pit of vegas's stomach -- and he'll get hard. sometimes he'll do something about it, leaning over to taste the salty sweat on pete's neck and the lingering spice on pete's mouth; but most times he finds himself doing nothing but sitting in the intensity of his own love for pete, basking in the warmth of pete's delight, and thinking to himself, this must be what happiness feels like.
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inspired partially by a convo with @fleet-off about vegas's passive horniness and partially by this bingqiu fic about making obscene sounds while eating. hehe
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lu-sn · 11 days
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thinkin about the chosen one story told from the pov of the person standing next to them again. thinkin about the one who has to stand by and watch the chosen one become a weapon, a sacrifice, an offering to the machinations of plot and can do nothing but make sure they’re fed and rested and soothe them when they wake up screaming from nightmares. thinkin about the fierce devotion that has to exist to follow someone to the end of the world just so they don’t have to die alone. thinkin about the terror they’d feel every step of the journey knowing it’s not their place to change how the story plays out. thinkin thinkin thinkin.
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lu-sn · 11 days
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All's Fair | Kinnporsche
Summary:
Vegas has killed a fair number of people. Vegas gets in a spot of trouble with someone upset about one of them.
Notes:
I thought this was for a Whumptober prompt some time ago, but perhaps not - I guess this one just emerged from my brain on its own. Thank you very much to the usual suspect (@ameliarating) for her hard beta-ing work, and to Vegas and Pete for continuing to make me insane about them both.
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