lucky1013

[lucky1013]

As someone who has been affected by this for more than a year now I would say that it's perfectly normal to feel worried about other humans. It's human to feel empathy. It's up to you what you decide to do with this energy your worries and empathy give you

So many lovely anons in the shadows

[lucky1013]

I just wanted to show some support! It's really nice to finally find someone who doesn't feed on the drama, but mostly just wants to spread some awareness of the consequences it has. (and show appreciation for good music too lol).

I hope you have a nice day/night!

Thanks, love. 🥰 Support felt.

Is being pathologically disregulated by drama just as bad as feeding on it? ::hopes not::

[lucky1013]

Is it not... Scary? To be doing something like this? I mean I constantly question myself about whether what I'm posting is even ok or not. Especially if it's about real people. What if you become known for this?

Not /neg just. Wow. I think could never do something like this

Hi Anon.

Do you mean the video?

I admit it’s a bit scary, but only in the way that it’s always scary to put something you believe in out there in the public, knowing people will see it and laugh at it, criticize you, or just ignore it. I second guess all of it. My biggest fear is that none of it can make a difference.

It’s refreshing that you worry about whether posting something is okay. It’s always a little shocking to see the crazy things people post when they haven’t yet figured out that their future employers will Google them. I work really hard at being fair. I hide my snark an anger (and believe me, I’m angry) because I don’t want to screw up my reputation. Digital mistakes can be pretty permanent.

I won’t become known for any of this. I’ll be ignored by the antis and maybe marginally appreciated by wilburphiles. Yes, they’re real people—but I’m not spreading lies or career-ruining information. I’m just saying I’m disappointed. I’m trying to stand up against bullying. if that’s not popular, let them insult me.

The test is this: am I trying to make something better, or am i tearing someone down?

[lucky1013]

Please share this everywhere! Made by the amazing @lucky1013

[lucky1013]

abuse supporter detected 📸

spurce: comments on a post made by would-you-punt-them

No one ‘supports abuse,’ dumbass. Absolutely no one.

But please, carry on with your quest to rid the internet of critical thinking and tolerance.

[lucky1013]

Shared by a friend.

[lucky1013]

Praise publicly, criticize privately - Warren Buffett

YES.

[lucky1013]

Lucky, you're a biased simp. Don't you even care?

Ok, Anon, here's your long-form answer.

If you are as sick of my voice as I am, skip this whole post. Scroll along.

I’ve been criticized recently of being biased, caring for Will’s well-being but not for Shelby’s well-being. That’s partially valid, but like all people with an excuse, wait, wait, let me explain.

Why focus on him, when there is no version of this where he is innocent of wrongdoing (regardless of whether you accept the abuse label)? Where’s the sympathy and concern for Shelby? “You’re just biased.”

Let's take them in order.

Shelby’s Well-Being

Do I care? Yes. 

Am I concerned? Not in the least.

 When she came forward, she said silence was no longer keeping her peace, so she spoke. (Pardon my paraphrasing.) She received a deluge of support from her friends, the CC community, and the public. She expressed immense gratitude and seemed to be moved and bolstered by the unexpected outpouring. 

Is she still affected by Will’s actions? Are there scars that we can’t see? Of course. I’m a happy, married adult, but I still carry the scars of past events and relationships. I have insecurities that even still, years later, I can trace back to my college boyfriend’s behavior and the compromises I made because I believed in him. And there are others. My marriage is a work-in-progress (spoiler: they all are), and I’m still compromising and healing. That’s life. That’s womanhood. We are complicated, strong, and always learning. I don’t know her obviously, but I know myself.

No intervention is needed to save her from mistreatment. There's no imminent danger of continuing harm. This is the healing phase. There is every indication that she is thriving, caring for herself, and finding the strength and support she needs to handle the process of healing.  Her future looks pretty damn bright, she seems to be crushing it, and that‘s great.  Am I invested in her well-being? Nope. She’s got this.

Will’s Well-Being

My concern for Will's well-being is not related to his conduct in the relationship. Those events are totally over and done with. 

My concern for Will’s well-being comes from an entirely different event: Shelby’s public sharing and the protracted fallout.

My investment stems from the incineration of his reputation and the mindset of the people who have decided he’s a monster. The all-or-nothing, scorched-Earth treatment by ex-fans and the MCYT community was, and is, abhorrent. The change in his physical appearance was downright shocking. The harassment continues. The commitment to preventing Will's recovery and smothering any modicum of support is unprecedented. The harm to him is ongoing.

Can he ever be embraced again, despite his failures and faults, and entrusted with an opportunity to rise above his past?

Bias

My crusade has led me to dive in and learn everything. I am now safely tucked in an echochamber, focusing on the good in him, and immersing myself in his music with like-minded friends.  Does that result in bias--letting preference lead to unfair judgment?

I saw a good person who did some shitty things. I saw a mix of attractive and unattractive personality traits and a big heart. I saw obvious depression. I saw the warping of self-concept caused by being worshipped day and night by strangers.

Is belief in someone bias? There were turning points in my belief in him, things I watched or read that convinced me Shelby was dead wrong when she he wasn’t a good person and wasn’t capable of change.

“British Boy Returns” VOD. He spends an hour just storytelling about his travels. He’s earnest, full of wonder, and grateful for his fans. He’s acutely aware of how precious his opportunity is.  He is genuinely interested in each town he visited. Her claim that all he cares about is fame and money and doesn’t care about his fans is total bullshit. Go watch it again. He is so grateful.

Response to the fan with cancer: He remembered the person specifically. His response to the fan was genuine, personal, and evident that he was truly moved. The message was not a public show for fans but a personal interaction that was shared.

Message on YouTube on “Mammalian Sighing Reflex”: “It gets better...you’ve gotta trust me.” [It guts me that he was wrong about this, that his message was encouraging and hopeful right before losing everything.] Go read the whole message. He pledged to donate proceeds to mental health charities after one year, and then quietly made good on that promise, despite everything that happened in the intervening months.

MSR: Every word of the album. Every heartbreaking word. The whole thing. He acknowledges his failures, he blames himself and takes responsibility, he describes the effect his MH issues have on others, he’s trying to pull himself out. He knows his demons and he’s fighting them. Does it make him a good guy? No. It makes him human. Mental health issues don’t excuse bad behaviour but they can sure as hell explain it.

His ”I’m moving to New York” message, a few weeks before the implosion: Just read it. Go. Again.

Countless moments in his streams. Sorry he can’t meet every person. Trying to keep tickets affordable. Worried he won’t be able to give enough back to repay all of the support his fans have given him. You get the point.

Otto. No man who greets a cat like that is a demon.

These were things all of you knew. He was never perfect and he tried to tell you that in every way that he could. There’s also a heap of evidence of the good in him. When this happened, the ex-fans claimed they had just found out he wasn’t the person they thought he was. That’s absurd. Of course he is. He’s all of it, the yin and the yang. He’s just human.

How high’s your pedestal? // Maybe he’ll be Jesus this time

Hey anon, I am not biased. I am persuaded by evidence.

[Let's see if I will shut my yap after this one. We're all so fucking sick of it. Haters, if you'll change your hearts I promise to go away.]

[lucky1013]

Giving up Twitter means no Twitter likes.

No Twitter likes being means stuck in the desert, checking Tumblr, Reddit and AO3 stats for any kind of feedback, hunting for dopamine hits like a dope fiend…

I may die of thirst but it’s still better (…?..?)

[lucky1013]

u said ur invested in wilbur soots well being but u dont say the same for shubble or alice when he abused them😭 ur not nuanced or fair ur js biased

I’ve spent several days mulling this over, because I hear u, and it’s worth honest examination.

I don’t write about Shubble’s wellbeing because my writing can’t improve it. Because the harm is not in-progress and intervention isn’t needed. Shes in the healing phase, and that healing doesn’t depend on public opinion. As far as the initial sin goes, he’s wrong, she’s right. She says she’s doing very well, and that’s a great thing.

My hyperfocus is about the public’s scorched-earth response to Wilbur. And that’s ongoing. He left MYCT and left streaming but the efforts to snuff him out persist. They harass him when they could just walk away. Even all this time later they (you?) don’t see him as human. That’s why I’m invested.

She moved on— why can’t they?

I’m writing something.

[lucky1013]

white man apologizer💔why would u ever choose to believe 1 man over 2 women

I don’t.

I believe them. And if you read all my writing you’ll see that.

I’m against the public’s response.

Believing someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with an abuse or SA label just because someone called it that. The label isn’t the factual part—it’s their conclusion. And even if you agree with their conclusion, there are levels.

Pretending this is a clear, black-and-white case in order to fall neatly on the side of righteously defending women is just plain wrong. It’s also wrong to let internal or external pressure to support victims cause you to abandon your own common sense. You get to judge for yourself. (If it sounds like a drunken dude made a pass at a girl and she shot him down, but doesn’t sound like assault— you don’t have to call it SA just because she did.)

I’m not defending a white man for mistreating women. There’s a spectrum of it from kind-of-shitty behavior all the way to criminal, and I don’t defend any of it. But I am not going to treat all things in that spectrum the same. If the public response had been proportional, you would never have heard a peep from me.

I never cared about this guy before this. But I cared a hell of a lot about fairness.

Justice requires treating victims, witnesses, and the accused with respect and an open mind. It also requires fair and appropriate punishment.

Why do i try? You won’t hear me.

[lucky1013]

Anon!

You have an interesting idea, and there’s nothing immoral or awful about thinking of it. Perhaps not something to share with general audiences, but only because it will likely bring you unwanted bullshit. It’s interesting.

Stop judging yourself! Be free! (And use your name next time if you want non-public answers.)

[lucky1013]

Dear Anon,

I’m gobsmacked. That was the kindest message. I wanted to reply directly but couldn’t figure out how to do it without posting the whole message. I thought it might feel like a breach of confidence.

I’ve thought about writing more about Tommy. Like many people I am just really bummed. I don’t believe for the second that the friendship we saw wasn’t real. Not for a second. It’s so evident that something else happened between them and I’m dying to understand it. As disappointed as I have been with Tommy’s little comments, I give him credit for keeping the details of their falling out private. I’ve often wondered if Will lashed out at his friends right when the allegations came out and did or said something he couldn’t walk back. I could imagine him freaking out and losing it the day his world blew up. Regardless. It kills me that Tommy won’t speak up for him, even in a very qualified way. If Tommy something meaning “good people can do shitty things,” any thing to acknowledge that he deserves to be viewed humanely, the whole internet sentiment could change.

You said so many other things. I don’t have the poetry in my head tonight to do any of it justice. But just know that I appreciate your thoughts and words.

Yes— that’s what love is. And I lose hope too. We just have to keep showing that it’s okay to love people despite their faults. Accepting someone else is never shameful. I would give anything to convince struggling fans of this.

Many thanks.

[lucky1013]

Here’s a worthwhile take on Tommy’s namedrop stunt

From @i_will_scream_ on Twitter

https://x.com/i_will_scream_/status/1901365811241169197?s=46

It’s worth a read. 😎♥️♥️😎

[lucky1013]

@jdbeckmanwriting, that feminism post you reblogged is soooo true. Been thinking about women alot lately (surprise surprise).

prompts

So many different angles…perhaps prompts for future writing:

- As women, what are the current goals for social progress? To be heard and considered? Respected? Understood? When clear barriers existed the goals were clear: votes, equal pay (yeah, not there yet), opportunity to lead, control, choice. (As American political winds dial back past progress, these are/will be relevant again, but that’s a different post.) What is it now?

-Empowering yourself: having agency, power over your outcomes, and ownership in success and failure - in the context of headwinds. How do you advocate for yourself?

- what does it mean to support women? What is our responsibility to each other?

- How does personal responsibility fit into the picture? How do we avoid self-shame and blame but still take on and accept an appropriate level of responsibility?

- Genders matter more than ever and less than ever at the same time. Gender identity is thoroughly considered now. (What labels fit me? How can I be categorized? Who am I really? Accept me for who I really am.) But yet different treatment by society based on the gender is at least disrespectful and at worst discriminatory. We ask each other to be gender attuned and gender blind simultaneously. Fascinating time to be a gender studies major.

[lucky1013]

Fire Followers:

Lovejoy’s Impending Bloom

“2024’s been a dumpster fire.” We’ve all said it, we’ve all heard it. Fire metaphors are hard to avoid. But is ‘dumpster fire’ the right one? Gritty, dirty, contained: burning trash that’s already been tossed. THIS was a wildfire.

Wildfires are born from a confluence of conditions. Excess fuel (invasive grasses and overgrowth), the right climate conditions, and ignition.

Lovejoy was born with legions of fans before they took their first steps. They happened to be swimming in talent, as luck would have it. But they didn’t have to build from nothing, make their bones, chew through the leather straps. (Didn’t have to, or didn’t get to? A point for discussion.) These fans would have followed Will anywhere. Will has an affect on people. It’s undeniable. The jury is still out on whether it’s a blessing or a curse.

Were they real fans? Good fans? The right kind? Who’s to say? We’re all real fans. They were, though, indigenous to social media and the Internet and they were brought to the music scene as hitchhikers. They were zebra mussels stuck to the bottom of a boat. They were ornamental grasses, beautiful enough, but an invasive species taking control of the hillside. Overgrowth.

There’s a Mexican-American painter in Chicago named Elsa Munoz. My friend and I went to her studio in Chicago for a discussion-with-the-artist event. She studies wildfires, of all things, in a gorgeous series called Controlled Burns. She paints beauty in the devastation. Her pieces show the flames and smoke consuming landscapes, and they evoke this interesting mix of sadness, peace, and optimism. It’s hard to explain. It’s about burning for the purpose of keeping the lands healthy. It’s about the rebirth, the fresh start, the opportunity for native plants to re-emerge and thrive.

The Lovejoy fire wasn’t a controlled burn, set with intention in the traditions of native peoples to restore a delicate balance. This was a wildfire. The result of excess fuel, climate conditions, and ignition.

But there may be a healthier hillside going forward. After it and because of it.

There’s an ecological phenomenon in California, where native wildflowers emerge in the months after a wildfire. Seeds from certain species lay dormant in the earth until exposed to extreme heat. The seeds germinate when fire-shocked, and the result is a breathtaking bloom of wildflowers in the wake of devastation. They call them fire followers.

The Fire Followers are beginning to bloom. Optimistic, balanced, welcome, native, gorgeous. A superbloom is coming.

[lucky1013]

Are you okay with really reallllyyyy long asks? Like nearly 3000 words really long asks? I meant to make a short message talking about some of the points you and commenters have made lately, but I got a little carried away… it’s not even really a ���question” im “asking”, more just my thoughts I’d like to share because I think your blog is a great collection of a perspective I find way more agreeable than others

Can I convince you to make your own blog? (C’mon in, the water is fine!)

Then you can just reference it in an Ask.

But sure, go nuts! Can’t promise to reply but always interested to read.

I kinda want a separate ask blog… Anyone have advice on how to organize ask responses without burying your other posts? I’d like to be able to sort my own stuff (posts vs. ask responses) .