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[luckychanmd]

Review: Through The Darkness

Finished watching "Through The Darkness" (2022 Korean drama), and I cannot recommend this series enough. There's a lot I love about this show, and these things, for me, make it stand out from other similar series about profilers.

This is based on the autobiography of South Korea's first criminal profiler, and you can see that the series does pay attention to details, and it's very realistic this way. It takes years for the crimes to be solved, and there's a lot of pushback when new methods are introduced.

It did start out a little slow, and if you're looking for a murder mystery, this show isn't about that, since the audience does know who the killer is before any of the police do.

I do like that it's less about the killers, and does not glorify or justify their actions. The show is more focused not just on the police, but also on the victims and their bereaved loved ones. This is an important theme that is explored throughout the series, and ultimately led to the resolution of the final conflict of the main character, Song Ha-young.

Speaking of Song Ha-young, I love him so much, huhu. Sometimes main characters in shows like this tend to be cold and emotionally withdrawn, and that is not the case with him. He's so full of empathy and kindness, and it is this which makes him a great profiler.

(Also Kim Nam-gil was so good in this! I should watch more of his shows, haha. I've only watched bits and pieces of "Live Up To Your Name" before, but I did like what I saw of him there.)

I also love the other characters (especially Chief Kook Young-soo), and their growth throughout the series, even those who were not very likable in the beginning. It's nice to see healthy friendships and team dynamics like this.

I'm a bit sad that it's only twelve episodes long. 😢 The last episode is my favorite because here, you can see they all trust each other now, and together they're able to outsmart the killer they're trying to catch. Hope there will be a second season so we can see more of this.

[luckychanmd]

why dont you look at pictures of baby wolf pups howling and maybe you'll calm down

[luckychanmd]

Review: The Reconciliation Dinner (Play)

I watched "The Reconciliation Dinner" today, and I'm in this play and I don't like it.

Just kidding, I loved it.

The story was relatable in so many ways, that even when I knew what the play would be about, many scenes still hit quite hard. This was everything I had been through since 2016, right there on the stage. All the hurt and disappointment; the friends who you thought you knew but ended up questioning if you ever really did, after all; the brief but life-changing hope we had during the campaign. The play also ends where we are now, with the decisions we still have to make ourselves.

The writing was excellent; it was amazing how so much was told in a single act. I loved the cast, too. Each portrayal felt so real: some characters felt like people we knew personally, and some characters WERE us.

Unfortunately, today is the last day of the show's run, but I do hope there will be more! I think many people I know will be able to relate to this too. It helps to remember all that we went through, to know that we are not alone, and that we can still keep fighting together.

[luckychanmd]

Hello, Again

Hello! Yes, I revived my Tumblr again after all these years. I admit it was because of the looming possibility of the shutdown of a social media site I've been mostly using before, but it was also because I realized recently that I missed writing longer posts. There's often some nuance that is lost when you have a word limit, and some people don't often read an entire Twitter thread before reacting.

I haven't decided yet what this revived account will contain, but for now, maybe you'll be seeing book/movie/series/comics/theater reviews. And longer posts on my thoughts on things.

Let's see how this goes!

[luckychanmd]

Happier Alone

Happier Alone

 I wish I can be happy

alone

like you.

I wish I didn’t worry

if you made it to your flight

 if you were eating right

if you were sleeping well

and not staying up some nights

wishing there were more

to the life you’ve always known.

I wish I didn’t yearn

to put my arms around you

to rest my head on your chest

and feel your heart

heavier with each beat

I wish I could

bear a little bit of its weight

for you.

I wish I didn’t wonder

if you were truly happier

alone

always alone

when we could be happier

alone

together.

[luckychanmd]

Bukas Ulit

Bago tayo nagkakilala Gusto ko na sanang sumuko Sa paghihintay na dumating ang bukas. Paulit-ulit na lang kasi nilang sinasabi na Bukas, mawawala rin ang lahat ng pait, Bukas, malalaman mo rin ang katuturan ng lahat ng sakit, Bukas, makikita mo rin ang liwanag. Lagi na lang bukas. Bukas pa.

Pero gusto ko nang maging masaya ngayon. Gusto ko nang mahagkan ng mahigpit ngayon At gumising sa liwanag ng araw sa tabi ng taong Sasamahan ako sa pagtulog at maging sa paggising At hindi ako pakakawalan Kahit sa gitna ng unos ng paghihirap at pangangamba Ngayon, at kailanman. Ngunit hindi pa rin daw ngayon ang panahon. Bukas pa raw. Maghintay lang daw ako.

Ayoko na, sabi ko. Kasi napagod na akong Umasa nang paulit-ulit Sa pangako ng bukas Na parati namang sarado lahat ng pintong gustong tuluyan, Na palagi na lang pinagkakait ang kaligayahang inaasam, Na kailanman wala naman akong naging kasiguruhan.

Pero ngayon, Nang sinabi mo sa akin, “Bukas ulit,” Nang may ngiti sa iyong mga labi at pag-asa sa iyong mga mata, Gusto ko nang maniwala ulit sa bukas. Dahil bukas, Makikita kang muli. Bukas ulit, At sa lahat ng susunod na bukas.

[luckychanmd]

Spring Cleaning

In a box containing long-forgotten things, I found a piece of torn paper with words I had written, a long time ago. I wrote of a boy I must have once loved, and the pain his constant presence and the absence of his love used to bring me. I no longer remember who that boy was. I can’t even see his face in my mind anymore, much less remember his name. 

That brings me comfort, because someday, hearing your name will no longer bring me pain. I will look back on our time together, and wonder who you were, and why I felt this much for you. You will be nothing but a distant ache in my heart, an image from a dream I had eventually woken up from.

[luckychanmd]

Tala

Ang sabi mo sa akin, “Ikaw ang star ng buhay ko.” Nakalimutan ko Na marami nga palang tala sa langit, Hindi lang ako ang nagbibigay liwanag sa iyong gabi.

At hindi ako isang bituin. Ako ang buwan, Nag-iisa lang sa aking langit. At ikaw ang araw, Dahil sa iyong paglisan, Nawala na rin ang aking liwanag.

[luckychanmd]

“Takotsubo”

Note: Takotsubo cardiomyopathy is an unusual condition in which a part of the heart suddenly becomes less contractile, causing it to balloon (hence the name, which is Japanese for “octopus pot”, which it resembles), causing acute heart failure and sudden death. Many cases have been associated with emotional stress, which is why this condition has also been called the “broken heart syndrome”. This poem was read during the open mic session of “Single Bells” (Ampalaya Monologues) last December 13, 2015, at the Pink Panda, Makati City, Philippines. (Nobody booed me off the stage or something, which was pretty good, considering it was my first time to do a live reading on stage.) “Takotsubo cardiomyopathy.” Noong una mong narinig iyon, Ang sabi mo pa, “Ano yan? Takot sumubo? Kaya pala heartbroken.” Naaala ko pa ang tawa mo, Kasing lakas ng hagupit ng isang bagyo, Kasing sakit ng isang sampal. Nakitawa na lang din ako, Kasi hindi ko alam Kung maiintindihan mo kung ano talaga ang sakit na iyan— Kung maiintindihan mo ako. Ganito na lang: Buksan mo ang aking dibdib, At tingnan mo ang puso ko, Punong-puno ng pagmamahal, Ngunit walang mapagbigyan nito, Walang mapag-iwanan ng lahat ng pag-ibig na dinadala, Kasi ayaw mong tanggapin ito. Kaya palaki lang nang palaki ang pusong ito, Pabigat nang pabigat.Sana nakita mo ang pusong ito, Noong gabing sinabi mo na: “Wala na tayo. Hindi na tayo.” --Hindi. Mali. Kulang. Hindi nga lang pala yun ang sinabi mo. Ang sinabi mo: “Wala naman tayo. Hindi naman tayo.” Na parang wala namang nawala sa akin sa iyong paglisan, Na parang lahat ng ginawa ko para sa yo ay walang naging katuturan, Na parang lahat ng alaalang binuo ko kasama ka ay puede kong burahin sa isang salita mo lamang, Na parang ang nag-iisang salitang iyon—TAYO— Yun lang ang makakapagbigay permiso sa puso ko na magpadama ng sakit.

Hindi eh. Mali ka, Kasi noong sinabi mo iyon, Halos pumulupot na ako sa sakit, Sa sobrang sakit, Akala ko sasabog na ang puso ko, Aagos ang dugo, aagos nang aagos, Hanggang ako ay tuluyan nang matuyuan. Nang hindi nangyari iyon, akala ko, Hindi na lang kakayanin ng puso ko ang bigat na pinapasan, At titigil na lang bigla “Ayoko na,” sasabihin nito. “Ayoko na. Tama na. Pagod na ako.”

Pero…

Hindi nangyari iyon. At hindi ako makapaniwala dahil (Napag-aralan ko na ito, maniwala ka!) Puedeng-puede ko nga talaga ikinamatay Ang sakit ng iyong pag-alis— Pero hindi eh. Buhay pa rin ako. Hanggang ngayon, Patuloy pa rin ang puso ko, Nagpupumilit pa rin, Sa kabila ng pagod at paghihinagpis, Tumitibok, Umaasa, Na balang araw may darating Na tatanggapin ang ibibigay ko, Nang buong puso. At habang hindi pa dumarating ang araw na yon, Patuloy ko pa ring dadalhin Ang lahat ng pagmamahal na iyon sa puso kong ito. Dahil mas malakas pala ang puso kong ito kesa aking akala, Mas malakas pa sa pagod na nararamdaman, Mas malakas pa sa sakit na iniwan mo. Kaya pala ng puso kong ito. Kaya ko rin pala. Kakayanin ko.