bethany // 20 // Viciously Femme Dyke // esmé squalor deserves her sugar bowl
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Classic lit + Onion-style headlines = the mashup you never knew you always wanted. Click here to see all 14!
brought to you by our resident genius, @roonil-freakin-wazlib
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I cannot imagine Esme and Olaf doing anything on Valentine’s Day that isn’t getting absolutely smashed beyond belief, setting an orphan shack on fire and fucking in the ashes. If anything mushy happens it would be Olaf bringing her flowers the next day out of the realisation that he found his person.
well isn’t this just the goddamn sweetest thing i’ve ever read anon i’m uwu
although i’m not too sure about the flowers bc olaf would be too plastered to even get out of bed the next day so i imagine they’d just go at it again in the morning and then order takeout and watch the news on tv about an orphan shack that mysteriously burned to a crisp the previous night.. y’know.. romance
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excerpt from “queer today, gone tomorrow” by emma healey in diva magazine, c. 1990s
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Oh if you’re gonna combine my two faves (portal and asoue), might I suggest that almost every glados quote gives me bitter-sugar-bowl-hunting esme vibes

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endless esmé appreciation [2/?]
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which episode of asoue is this from
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this whole scene emits a very specific vfd-esque chaotic energy
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If I may gush like an open wound, I’m not just a vice principal…
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i’m in bed with the flu and casually watching some asoue and i had a galaxy brain revelation ie they never locked the penthouse doors bc esmé doesn’t fuckin know how to use keys as presented in picture B thank you
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tell me why i’m having a near breakdown over people saying esme is homophobic lol hahahaha
#its so fucking dumb that it bothers me so much#it just gives me an uneasy feeling#like it makes my stomach all tense n horrid#being a wlw who takes such comfort in esme as a character it feels like a personal attack which i know is DUMB but ya know#hell brain and such
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NEW ASK GAME
write what you think my bio/description should say
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