ludwig-bullshit-blog - Tumblr blog

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

[Gently kisses a potato.] 

Okay, but what the actual fuck is potato kissing?

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

Source

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

Frankfurt am Main (Hessen)

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

“I HAD TO-” Ludwig initially snapped, before forcing himself to take a moment and breathe, before he said something regretful. Or at least saying something in a tone that was as such. He didn’t appreciate the others tone, or the way he was staring - he knew a judgemental stare when he saw one, thanks - but he wasn’t here to be...rude. There’d been enough rudeness already and anymore would feel excessive. “I had my reasons.” 

“Well then you need to take that up with the office and reserve a different time. Maybe something was changed and the email sent to inform you somehow ended up in your spam folder.” Why he isn’t just skating away and being done with it is beyond him. He’d gotten his...thing, so he could just go! Easy as pie. He followed Gilbert to the side of the rink, jock strap tucked in his pocket where it wouldn’t be left on display. “You’re going to zamboni the ice? 

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

It took everything in Ludwig not to drop Gilbert on his ass and skate away with his jockstrap triumphantly in hand. “No.” Classic Ludwig. Taking everything too seriously and looking frustrated about it. “Thank you.” 

Ludwig basically did the same, pushing himself away from Gilbert and looking him up and down, sizing him up - delayed, yes, but he still hardly knew who this person was, and who was briefly in possession of his jock strap, and who he had just fucking...dipped in the middle of a fucking hockey rink, like some...ugh. Okay. Breathe, Ludwig. Chill out. 

“Getting this.” He replied without hesitation. “Surely that much is obvious-- and the team owns this rink. We didn’t override anyone’s practice, and our schedules are posted in the reception. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. Are you authorized to be here this late?” 

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

its estimated there’s a little over 525 million dogs in the world so if you spent 5 seconds on each dog it would take a little over 84 years to pet every single dog in the world

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

[TEXT] Okay, then I’ll get rid of your actual gift and get you some coal, then. 

[TEXT] I don’t have an angry face. 

[TEXT] 😠

[text]: Here’s an unsolicited pic of some tits, because you almost died last night. *ATTACHED: A picture of two tits. The birds. Great Tits.*

*He is so excited, fo rjust a brief moment. And then….then….dashed. It’s gone. Only tits. Not Ludwig’s epic tits, or some chick’s awesome fluffy tits. No. Birds.*

[text] Bruder… i did not accept the blame for World War II and the rise of alt-right Neo Nazis for u to send me birds

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

[TEXT] It’s December 6th, not Christmas. 

[TEXT] What about a single tit? 

[TEXT] *ATTACHED* 

[text]: Here’s an unsolicited pic of some tits, because you almost died last night. *ATTACHED: A picture of two tits. The birds. Great Tits.*

*He is so excited, fo rjust a brief moment. And then….then….dashed. It’s gone. Only tits. Not Ludwig’s epic tits, or some chick’s awesome fluffy tits. No. Birds.*

[text] Bruder… i did not accept the blame for World War II and the rise of alt-right Neo Nazis for u to send me birds

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

[TEXT] Whats wrong? I thought you liked birds.

[TEXT] Is this better? 

[TEXT] *ATTACHED* 

[text]: Here’s an unsolicited pic of some tits, because you almost died last night. *ATTACHED: A picture of two tits. The birds. Great Tits.*

*He is so excited, fo rjust a brief moment. And then….then….dashed. It’s gone. Only tits. Not Ludwig’s epic tits, or some chick’s awesome fluffy tits. No. Birds.*

[text] Bruder… i did not accept the blame for World War II and the rise of alt-right Neo Nazis for u to send me birds

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

[TEXT] Google is free.

[He’s so pleased with himself.] 

[TEXT] There are lot’s more bird pictures where that came from. 

[text]: Here’s an unsolicited pic of some tits, because you almost died last night. *ATTACHED: A picture of two tits. The birds. Great Tits.*

*He is so excited, fo rjust a brief moment. And then….then….dashed. It’s gone. Only tits. Not Ludwig’s epic tits, or some chick’s awesome fluffy tits. No. Birds.*

[text] Bruder… i did not accept the blame for World War II and the rise of alt-right Neo Nazis for u to send me birds

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

“Why you little-” 

As soon as Gilbert turned away from him, Ludwig came to a halt, turning his foot to the side and braking with the side of his skate which a flurry of ice shavings against the boards that surrounded the rink. He took a second to glare into the empty bleachers when he stopped, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat until he whipped around and again started speeding towards Mr. Fucking Jock Strap Stealing McTwinkle Toes. Gilbert was obviously ahead of him, leaving Ludwig cursing his choice to take up hockey and not speed skating when he was a kid.

In a split second decision, Ludwig decided to turn across the rink and cut in front of the other guy. Something that actually worked in his favour which was incredible (and improbable considering his luck. Or lack there of). The sound of metal hitting ice rang in Ludwig’s ears, driving him forward as he used his right foot to turn and glide around in front of Gilbert, and once he was in the position to, he reached out to catch the other’s arm. As Gilbert used the pick on his skate to pivot away from Ludwig, he managed to grab the cuff of his shirt and pull back. 

Like a flash, as Ludwig tugged the cuff (and consequently the person) towards him, one of GIlbert’s skates slid out from underneath him and he fell backwards... 

A quick tangent before we continue - if this were a romantic comedy, while everything was happening in slow motion in the background, this would be the point in which Ludwig’s disembodied voice played over the footage. He would say something about how when he was learning how to skate, every time he fell on the ice his father would say things like “you’re as elegant as a sack of potatoes” and his mother would chime in with a quiet but pleasant “actually, the fall was very graceful, but the landing was a little rough.” That was probably a metaphor for something or whatever. Alright. Back to your regularly scheduled programming. 

As Gilbert toppled, Ludwig reflexes kicked in and he pushed his skates into the ice to hold himself steady, and slipped his hand under Gilbert’s back, catching him in an almost perfect dip. 

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

On the way home with a drunken brother… APH 1hr drawing

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

by 三

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

>>

[ludwig-bullshit-blog]

[Americans. Pff.] 

ludwig-bullshit:

Don’t light yourself on fire. 

[He totally lit himself on fire.]

Heh.