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unlike tammy, i cant stand my man

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just came across this picture... somebody sedate me i'm so serious

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i just know he whimpers

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wifey come home the kids miss you </3

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Officer Reynolds

Dennis Reynolds x Reader

~★~❤︎~✦~

“Where did you get that?”, after all these years you would think nothing would surprise you anymore, and yet almost everyday there's something new. Today's newest thing is Dennis dressed in a cop uniform, holding a grey cat. 

“Frank got it” he did a twirl letting you take in his appearance fully, and you have to admit he looked good. “Sprang for all the bells and whistles.” he lifts up the baton hanging off his hip spinning it in his hand before pocketing it once more. 

“Why?” 

“We got a cop car and we can’t go driving it around in civilian clothes”

“Ah, I see” you had more questions, like why on earth did you guys buy a cop car but you keep your mouth shut. Knowing that the answer would only raise more questions. “If you bought a cop car shouldn’t you be riding it it and not here” 

“Maybe I just wanted to see you”, now it’s all starting to make sense. 

“Is Officer Reynolds hoping for a quickie?” Dennis smirks at the nickname immediately making his way over to you. 

“When I said Frank sprang for the bells and whistles that includes handcuffs” He suggestively twirls the silver cuffs around his finger. 

“Well hurry up and read me my rights before the others come back.” The two of you quickly head to the back office. Dennis gives agent Bower a pet on his head before setting him on a bar stool. 

“Stay here agent bower, this is a solo mission”

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requests are open for dennis reynolds imagines, blurbs, smuts idc. just give me some ideas 🙈🙈

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hypothetically, if i wrote a dennis reynolds smut… hypothetically would y’all fw that?

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he's soooooooooooooooooooooo

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if i wrote a kodiak (yellowjackets) smut… hypothetically would y’all fw that? 🙈����

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your post about fireman patrick got me thinking…like i can imagine if you two are in a pre-established relationship he would get home and strip straight away after a shift and not give a fuck about how he smells and would just want you straight away. or if you two are strangers, maybe he would ask for a ‘gift’ for saving your cat or something😋

feeling embarrassed because your smoke alarm won’t stop going off and you can’t quite reach it so you call the fire department. you don’t expect a firefighter in full uniform to trudge up your stairs and you don’t expect him to have such a gorgeous face. it makes your face flush and you feel so bad for having him come out for your stupid problem.

“i’m sorry, this is so stupid.”

he sets his ladder against the wall and shrugs his jacket off. he’s built, wearing a navy blue t shirt that’s tight in all the right places.

“‘s okay hon, i’m just glad your place isn’t on fire.” he throws you a little wink as he climbs up to turn the alarm off and you feel like a shy little school girl.

it’s hard to listen to him when he tells you how to fix it yourself, and that he may have a backup detector in the truck if you’ll give him a second.

you just agree with everything he’s saying, looking up at him with big doe eyes as his biceps bulge while he pops the old batteries out of the old detector.

the air feels muggy and thick with tension as he replaces it for you and you feel humiliated that you’re sad he has to go. but he finds a sharpie on your desk and pops the cap off with his teeth, jotting down his personal phone number on a receipt on your counter.

“if you have any more problems, call me. or even if you don’t.”

and a week later your smoke alarm does the same thing. it’s late at night and you call him, frazzled and upset.

he makes it better, with new batteries and his calloused fingers rubbing your clit as he fucks into prone bone, his other hand firm on your headboard.

“did you put the old batteries in so you’d have an excuse to call me?” he asks you as he pushes deeper into you, making you lose your breath.

you whimper and nod, unable to lie because your head is tilted to look at him and his pretty green eyes are so close.

“y—yes.”

he smirks. “could’ve just asked me to come fuck you and i woulda brought flowers or something.”

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JOEL MCHALE Yellowjackets 3.07 "Croak"

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hai thinking about tai’s long hair ok bai:3

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───clark can't sleep

notes: 18+, smut, nipple sucking

clark mouths at your nipple slowly and lazily, as if he's not in a rush to do anything except this, with his breath feels warm against your skin. he hums a low, satisfied hum as you move, your fingers in his hair, and then he drags his tongue over the top once again.

“clark,” you murmur, half a warning, half a sigh.

“mm?” he doesn’t stop, just flicks his tongue again, lips closing around you with a soft, wet pull.

“this is supposed to help you sleep.”

he exhales a quiet laugh, lips grazing sensitive skin. “it is.” another slow, deliberate suck, his fingers tracing the shape of your ribs. “this is the best way, actually. scientifically proven.”

you roll your eyes, but it’s hard to sound exasperated when he licks you like that, slow and warm. “is that so?”

“mhmm.” he nuzzles against you, breath steady. “calms me down. makes me feel good.” his voice is rough, softer than the dark pressing in around you. “makes you feel good too, doesn’t it?”

you don’t answer right away, and his teeth graze lightly in response, just enough to make you jolt. “thought so,” he murmurs, before sucking again, slower, deeper.

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aaand im soaked