luvzxr

[luvzxr]

waking jj up . . .

cw:bf!jj x gf!reader, new relationship, fluff, slightly shy!jj.

The sunlight sneaks through the curtains in soft golden stripes, warming the sheets and the tip of JJ’s nose. His arm is draped across your waist, heavy and warm, and his face is buried in your pillow, hair a complete disaster. He’s snoring just a little, all soft and stuffy-sounding.

This is your first morning with him. As his girlfriend. Not just crashing after a party or staying up talking until someone passed out. This is real. This is JJ Maybank in your bed, tangled up with you.

You lean in and kiss his shoulder—light as a whisper. He doesn’t stir, so you do it again, then again, trailing kisses up toward his neck, giggling quietly against his skin.

He groans into the pillow, voice scratchy and still thick with sleep. “If this is a dream, I’m gonna be so pissed when I wake up.”

You laugh. “It’s not a dream.”

He lifts his head just a little, cracking one sleepy eye open to look at you. His voice is low and adorably grumbly. “You’re bein’ all nice. First thing in the morning. That’s messed up.”

You tilt your head, grinning. “You don’t like it?”

“No, I do, that’s the problem.” He flops back onto his side, blinking at you like he still doesn’t totally believe this is happening. “You’re kissin’ me all soft, smiling at me like you want me here. It’s dangerous.”

You giggle again, tucking your hand under your chin as you lay beside him. “JJ.”

“What?”

“I do want you here.”

He grins sleepily at that, but there’s a little blush creeping in now, across his nose and the tips of his ears. You kiss the corner of his mouth and feel him freeze just slightly, like your affection surprises him. “No one’s ever done that,” he says after a pause.

You scrunch your nose at that, “Kissed you?”

“No—well—yeah, but…” He hides his face in the pillow for a second before turning his head just enough to peek at you. “No one’s ever woken me up like that. All soft. Like they… care.”

You go quiet for a beat. Then, softly add, “Well. I do.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, letting out a half-whine, half-groan. “Stop it. You’re gonna break me in half with the sweetness.”

You press a kiss to his forehead. “Good.”

JJ opens his eyes again, fully this time, and stares at you with that look—wide-eyed and boyish and a little overwhelmed. “You’re gonna ruin me for anyone else, you know that?”

You giggle. “Who said I was planning on sharing?”

That makes his cheeks go even pinker. He pulls the comforter up over his face like he’s hiding from the moment. You tug it down with a smile. “Hey. You okay?”

He nods. “Yeah. I just… I didn’t think mornings could feel like this.” He gestures vaguely between the two of you. “Warm. Soft. Like someone actually cares”

You nuzzle into his chest, your voice muffled. “I care.”

He wraps his arms around you immediately, burying his face in your hair. “Okay, well now you’re going to get me all whipped for you.”

You laugh so hard you snort, and he grins against your neck. “Noted,” you say. “I’ll make sure to do it more.”

JJ just holds you tighter, quiet for a second. Then he whispers, “Best damn morning of my life.”

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[luvzxr]

Champagne Problems

marcus baker x miller!female!reader (I just realized some of y’all may think this means that Zion’s your dad but it just means that Georgia’s your mom but you have a different dad)

flangst! ( if y’all can’t tell I really like flangst, haha)

word count: 7.1k

warnings!: mentions of pregnancy & abortion, cussing, toxic? relationship (on&off), mentions of food, anxiety, & panic attacks… i think that’s all 😅

includes: bestfriend!padma, younger!sister!ginny (15 years old), you and Marcus are 18, OC? (not really) Noah (Marcus's best friend that he lost to cancer, they never gave him a name in the show, so from now on I’ll probably just refer to him as Noah, it was the first name that came to mind) 

ALSO: before reading, I just want to preface, that it is your body and your choice. 💞

unedited!

part 2 part 3

。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

You never thought you’d be stood here, however there you were. It was as if the box full of pregnancy tests was laughing at you. You had been practically been disintegrating it with your eyes. You’d had enough, you were just gonna do it. 

As you waited for the three tests for three minutes, it was the longest three minutes of your life. You were filled with anxiety and intrusive thoughts that almost sent you spiraling. 

Your breath trembled with unevenness, your timer causing you to jolt out of your stupor. You held your breath. This was it. These pink sticks would cruelly decide your fate. 

You quickly glanced at the tests. All three tests were undoubtedly positive, each reading the word ‘positive’ on the little digital screen.

That one word ‘positive’ sent you panicking, gasping for air, as the word ran rampant in your head. Positive. They're positive. 

You couldn’t even form the words in your brain, “I’m preg-“. It was as if even acknowledging the word in your mind would make what was already your reality true. That was something you didn’t want to accept. 

Your legs gave out from under you, sending you crashing to the cold tile flooring. Goosebumps arose on your arms, unsure if they were caused by the frigid tile or the shock of the recent revelations. 

Silent sobs fell from your lips. Tears tainted your cheeks, the pregnancy tests taunting you from the counter. You were so livid with yourself. How could you have let this happen? How could you have been so stupid!? How? Why? 

Your mother had desperately tried to protect you from this; from the pain of becoming a teenage mother. You weren’t sure how you were gonna tell her, you knew it’d break her. Would she scream at you? Throw you out? Would she simply cry? And what about your siblings, how would they react? 

And Marcus? You knew from the moment you read that word on the pregnancy test that he was the father of your unborn child. Would he even want to be in your child’s life? You knew what it was like to grow up with an absent father, and you would never want your child to have to go through that. To grow up wondering why all the other kids had dads and they didn’t. 

Having to question why they were abandoned by him as you did.

Your hands formed tight fists, your nails imprinting crescent moons on the palms of your hands due to how hard you’d been clenching them.

You threw your head back, wanting to scream but you couldn’t. You didn’t want to alert anyone of what had happened while you were in the bathroom. 

A knock on the door, caused your breath to hitch in your throat. “Y/n are you almost done? You’ve been in there for like 20 minutes now,” You heard your sister Ginny call from the opposite side of the door. 

You cleared your throat, hands sweeping away the tears that had created streams down your face. 

“Yeah, Ginny, I-I’ll be out soon.” You said trying to hide the emotion your voice held. 

Ginny knew something was up, but she figured it had something to do with your on-again-off-again relationship with Marcus. She decided she would give you your space and check on you later. Sometimes she just wanted to quite literally slap some sense into you, scream at you to drop his ass. But she knew even that wouldn’t do anything. 

Marcus had your heart in a cage. You loved him unequivocally. But she wasn’t sure he felt the same. When he wasn’t with you, and you guys were in the off stage, he was with some other girl. 

Ginny loved you with all her heart, and she and everyone around you could clearly see you deserved and were worthy of much more than Marcus could offer you. Albeit, you were too blinded by that captivating, enamoring smile of his. It pulled you back into his arms every time. His brown eyes brought you crawling back to him each time you tried to escape them.

。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

You tried your best to mask your emotions, however, you were pregnant and even more hormonal. So to say you were hiding it well, well, it was contradictory, to say the least.

You hadn’t told a single soul. As the days passed you spent them kissing Marcus and doing a lot more, taking in all of him that you could, trying to memorize every part of him. This minute voice in the back of your mind told you once you told him, you would lose him. For good. 

When you weren’t with Marcus you spent your nights hysterically crying in bed. Your hand clamped against your mouth in a feeble attempt to obscure your cries. 

One night Ginny had heard you, coming into your room to find you on the verge of a panic attack. That was when she knew something was terribly wrong.

Your chest shook, heart, beating erratically. You shook your head wanting to wake up from this nightmare. 

“Y/n/n, calm down, you’re okay, everything’s gonna be okay, alright?” Ginny attempted to calm you down. 

You only shook your head, somehow your sobbing becoming even louder at her words. She pulled you into a tight embrace. Rocking you back and forth in an attempt to soothe you. Something you had done for her numerous times when she would have panic attacks.  

You felt disgusted with yourself. You were her older sister. You were supposed to set a good example for her. You are the one whose supposed to comfort her, and be her shoulder to cry on, not the other way around. 

Ginny couldn’t seem to calm you, no matter what she did. She wasn’t quite sure how your mother hadn’t woken up or Austin. 

“Y/n/n, do you want me to call Marcus?” She asked you, she may not like him for you, but she knew he would somehow be able to instantly calm you down. 

“No,” You cried sobbing harder, at the mention of his name. 

“Okay, okay, I won’t call him,” She murmured. 

She gently rubbed your back, continuing to rock the both of you back and forth. It took a while but you eventually calmed down. Ginny stayed with you that night and cuddled you to sleep not wanting to leave you alone. A tear escaped Ginny’s eye, she hated seeing you like this. 

The following morning, Georgia burst into the room, searching for her youngest daughter. She found her in your bed, the two of you holding each other; it was something she hadn’t seen in a while and it piqued her curiosity. She could immediately tell something was up. Your eyes were swollen, cheeks splotchy, all pointing to one thing. 

You had been crying. She had a feeling it had something to do with the boy that just seemed to keep on hurting you. Often times she thought it would be best if she poisoned his food or drink while he was over but she refrained from doing so for your sake because somehow you loved that boy. She knew what it was like to be so in love with someone that just seemingly couldn’t commit to you. 

Marcus could hurt you so deeply, and send you on a rollercoaster of highs and lows. But the highs, God were they so good. You would be smiling for days, nothing able to tear you down except the only person who could paint that same smile on your face. She loved seeing you that happy, that was all she wanted for her kid's, unfaltering happiness. 

Your mother let you and your siblings stay home that day. She woke you with your favorite breakfast and favorite drink paired with it.

“Thanks, mama.” You tried your hardest to bring a smile to your face, for her sake. But you couldn’t and it ended up being more of a grimace. Hiding this secret was taking a toll on you, it had been two weeks since you had found out the shocking news, that you were gonna be a mother in 9 months. Give or take. You were beginning to drown. 

Ginny glanced at her mother, eyes full of worry. 

“Anything for my girls,” She smiled at you. 

“How about we have a girl's day, huh, how does that sound?” She inquired.

“I really appreciate you mom, but I kind of just want to stay home today if that’s alright?” 

“Of course, babygirl.” She gave you a warm smile.

“You know, you can tell me anything, right, baby?” She pulled you into a hug. You fought back the tears that so desperately were trying to slip out. You nodded, not trusting your voice to respond. 

“Alright, well, I’ll leave y’all be.” She trailed out, closing the door behind her.

You took a small bite of your breakfast, you were beyond starving.

“Y/n? What’s wrong, please talk to me,” Ginny murmured, hurt in her voice. 

“I hate seeing you like this,” She whispered.

“It’s nothing Gin, alright, don’t worry about me. Okay, me and Marcus are just having a rough patch that’s all.” You lied to the girl, you just needed more time before you inevitably broke your family’s hearts. 

“I know that’s not true Y/n/n,” she shook her head, “this is different.” 

“Ginny, I promise you, I’m fine-“ as that last word fell from your lips, you felt an overwhelming rise of nausea fill you. You leaped up from your bed, sprinting to the bathroom. You practically vomited your intestines into the toilet. 

You wiped your mouth with some toilet paper. You rinsed your mouth, followed by brushing your teeth along with some mouthwash to get rid of the horrid taste of bile. 

As you turned to walk out, Ginny stood in the doorway, eyebrows scrunched together. 

“Something in the food must’ve been bad or undercooked,” You explained. 

“Mhm,” She nodded.

。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

You hadn’t talked to your best friend Padma, in a few days, like everyone else Padma knew you were acting odd, however, she had yet to voice her opinion. You knew being around Padma, would cause her to lure your secret out, and you couldn’t risk that. So, you had been hanging out with Marcus a lot more. 

Albeit, it caused you to feel extremely guilty for keeping it from him. It had almost been a month that you’d been harboring this secret, and you knew you’d need to tell everyone soon. However, you decided to keep on basking in the bliss of ignoring your problems.

You had decided to go over to Marcus's house, you knew he was home seeing as you were neighbors, but he hadn’t been responding to your texts. You should’ve just given him the space he clearly wanted. You walked into the house, as if it were your own, seeing as you spent a lot of time there. 

Max was nowhere to be found, so you signed hello to Ellen and Clint and made your way to Marcus’s room. You knocked on his door, before pushing it open. The boy barely glanced up at you, before returning to his sketchbook. “So, now you’re ignoring me?” You questioned him.

A sigh escaped his full lips at your remark. “Really, Marcus? You’re gonna do this again?” Shaking your head in annoyance. Your hormones were not about to put up with his shit.

“I don’t wanna talk about this right now, Y/n,”

“Well too bad, Marcus, because I’m here, and I want to talk about it. Right now. I seriously don’t feel like paying your games right now.”

He raised his eyebrows at your tone, never having heard you speak to him like that before. “I’m too tired for this, Y/n, just go.”

“No, Marcus, I’m not leaving until you tell me what the hell your problem is.”

“You, Y/n! You want to know what my problem is, there it is, Y/n! You’ve been so fucking clingy this past fucking month, I haven’t had a second to myself. God, I just wanted a little space but clearly, that’s too much to fucking ask of you.” He spat at you, brows scrunched up in anger.

His outburst caused you to purse your lips in shock before your jaw clenched with anger.

“Oh, sorry, for wanting to spend time with my boyfriend before he inevitably breaks things off at the beginning of each month, like some sort of fucking routine! So he can be with some other bitch for a few weeks, before deciding to come back to me, god, Marcus!”

“What the fuck is up with you, why are you acting like this all of a sudden?” 

“What’s wrong with me?” You questioned letting out a humorless laugh.

“What’s wrong with me is that I’m tired of your shit, Marcus. What’s wrong with me is that I’m pregnant with your fucking kid!” You exclaimed in exasperation your hands flying up in anger.

Marcus’s brown eyes widened immensely, at your words. It dawned on you, that you had just told him that you were pregnant. Your hand flew to your mouth in shock, “Oh my god,” You murmured. 

He sat in silence for a few moments, and you turned to face his door as you began to feel panic bubble up in your chest. “You’re pregnant?” He quietly questioned, as his head dropped into his hands.

You couldn’t bring yourself to form the words, simply nodding your head, as your eyes burned holes into his wooden flooring. “This can’t be happening, Y/n, we’re only 18, I mean we haven’t even graduated high school yet!” 

You took deep breaths trying to calm yourself, “Don’t you think I know that, Marcus?” You hissed at him.

“What the hell, Y/n, you- you said you were on the pill!”

“I was, Marcus, it’s not 100% effective, and don’t you dare try to fucking blame this on me okay?” You turned to him with nothing but irateness smeared across your face.

“I can’t deal with this shit right now,” He quietly muttered, however, you still heard him.

“How the fuck do I even know that it’s really mine?” He questioned, now standing up.

“You’re fucking with me right, Marcus?” Fury burning in your eyes.

His face remained stoic, “Unlike you Marcus, you’re the only person I’ve ever been with,” You said through clenched teeth.

You couldn’t control your anger anymore, and the next thing you knew you were slapping him. “You’re a fucking asshole.” You said, before leaving his room, tears beginning to cloud your vision. 

You attempted to rid yourself of the tears, but you couldn’t. They streamed down your face like a rapid, as your breath began to quicken. You reached for your phone calling Padma.

You sat in her SUV, as she shushed you, caressing your hair.

“Everything’s gonna work out in the end, Y/n/n, I promise.”

“It’s not Lo,” You managed to say through your crying and whimpers, “I fucked up so bad,” You whaled. 

(*A/N: Padma means Lotus in another language, I don’t remember what language… but Lo is short for Lotus, I don’t know, I thought it was a cute nickname, rather than using ‘Pad’.)

“I’m here for you, Y/n/n, and I always will be okay, you know that, right?”

You gave a nod in response, sniffling.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you, I’m a terrible friend.” You cried.

“It’s okay, bub, I know you’ve been struggling this past month, I don’t hold it against you for needing some time.”

“You should, I have no excuse,” You whimpered.

“But I don’t, okay? Do you think you’re ready to tell me what’s wrong?” She gently asked. You nodded, staying in her warm, comforting embrace as you explained why you had been so distant, due to the fact that you would be a teen mom in less than 9 months. You told her about the fight with Marcus, how you hadn’t meant to just blurt the words out, and how he had the audacity to question if your child was his.

“Oh my god, Y/n/n, he’s a complete dick!”

“I know, and what’s worse is that, after everything that we’ve been through, I still love him. Does that make me crazy?” Your eyes welled up with more tears, and a dry laugh slipped from your lips.

“Very much so, but that’s what love does. Anyone who says they're in love and doesn’t feel crazy, well they’re not really in love.”

“Can I ask you something?” She voiced.

You nodded, “Why didn’t you feel like you could talk to me about this? We’ve been friends forever Y/n/n, you know I’d never judge you…” She gently probed.

“I know Lo, I just didn’t know how to and I didn’t wanna burden you with this secret,”

“You wouldn’t have bub, I promise you,” She said her hands clasping yours.

“Does anyone else know?”

“No,” You responded, “I have no idea how I’m gonna tell my mom, or Ginny…”

Tears began to leak from your eyes once again, “Mom is gonna be so disappointed in me,” You cried, “I mean she was a teen mom, and this is literally what she has tried to prevent from happening,” 

“I’m a terrible daughter, and I’ll probably be a terrible mother too, I mean I’m only eighteen, and- and this kid is gonna have to grow up without a Dad, just like I did. They're gonna wonder why they weren’t good enough, and I-I’m gonna have to raise them by m-myself,” Your breath hitched, as you continued to cry and ramble.

“You’re gonna be a great mom, Y/n/n, if there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that. And yeah, maybe it’s not exactly what your mom wanted but, I’m sure she’ll be supportive, especially because she knows exactly what it’s like to be a teen mom. And Ginny and Austin will probably be so excited to have a niece or nephew. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

You nodded your head, trying to believe her words.

“When are you gonna tell them?”

“I have no idea…”

��ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

Marcus hadn’t talked to you since last week when you had accidentally told him you were pregnant. You hadn’t tried to reach out to him either, unsure of how to feel anymore. 

You glanced up at your mother’s dark brown eyes which were filled with shock as she tried to keep her face neutral. Your younger brother Austin was giddy with excitement, a wide grin playing on his face, Ginny’s face furrowed in worry.

You nervously played with the ring Marcus had given you when you first began dating at 15. A ring filled with false promises, empty words, and happiness that no longer remained. “I tried, I tried so hard… to prevent this, so you wouldn’t have to go through what I did,” She muttered, her tone holding a wave of slight anger to it.

 “How could you be so fucking stupid Y/n?! I mean, truly, I-I cannot believe this...” Your mother suddenly burst out.

Your mouth was agape, you were speechless. You had hoped she would’ve reacted better, but you knew better. Your bottom lip trembled, eyes shimmering with tears. “Mom!” Ginny snapped at her.

You quickly got up, making your way to your room. You were too busy trying to drown the feeling of an oncoming panic attack that you didn’t notice Marcus sat on your bed. Your breathing became more erratic, your panic causing you to not hear Marcus as he questioned if you were okay. 

“I should just get rid of it,” You sniffed, the words being filled with bitterness as they left your mouth.

“Princess?” 

You looked up, eyes now meeting Marcus’s. Your eyes widened, “What-what are you doing here?”

“You were planning on aborting our baby? Without telling me?” He accused you with belligerence.

“Marcus, I-”

“I can’t believe you, Y/n,”

“Marcus, please, let me-”

“I’m out of here,” He shook his head, leaving the way he came.

“You’re not the one who’s carrying this baby, okay, Marcus!” You called out to him, as he was midway through climbing out of your window.

He turned toward you, “Yeah, soon neither will you.” He snapped at you, slamming your window shut.

(A/N: Damn, double homicide. LMAO please tell me y’all have seen those tiktoks, if not just ignore this… 😅)

You gasped for a breath and stood frozen in place for a moment. In a fit of anger, you began flinging things across the room. A picture frame of you and Marcus went flying at your window, the force causing it to shatter. You let out a scream of frustration, as you sat on the floor, sobbing loudly, your heart physically paining you. 

Your fists met the floor, pounding on the wood, not knowing how to handle all the anger, sadness, and frustration that filled you.

When Marcus reached his room, he slammed his door in frustration and anger. Anger at himself, you, and the world. His eyes held unshed tears, his face in a scowl. He abruptly began punching his bedroom wall. Not stopping until he felt a force holding his fists back. He hadn’t realized he had been crying until he felt his tears now hitting his fists. His head fell against the wall, as Maxine pulled him into a hug, “What’s wrong Mark?” She spoke up after a few silent moments.

(A/N: I’m never using that nickname again, I’m sorry but that made me physically cringe…haha)

“Everything.” He breathed out.

Marcus had decided to confide in his twin, something he hadn’t done in a while.

“I- I haven’t been able to say it but, I-I love her, Max. I know I don’t deserve her, I’ve been treating her like crap for the past year. Our relationship has brought her nothing but pain, and I try and try to let her go. But I can’t each time I try to break it off, I end up going back to her because I can’t fucking breathe without her. I’m such a fucking asshole.” He shook his head in frustration. 

“She’s- she’s fucking pregnant, Max, I don’t- I can’t be a dad. I can barely fucking take care of myself,” He whispered, exasperation in his voice. 

“I thought for a second that maybe we could figure things out, so I went over there, and she’s fucking talking about getting rid of our baby, Max.” 

“I think- I think you need to figure out what you want, Marcus, and once you do, you need to tell Y/n alright? Because this is something big, that you both need to discuss, and you need to stop being an idiot and tell her how you really feel, instead of getting scared and running away from your feelings,” She told her brother, trying to contain her thoughts, she wanted him to come to his own decision, albeit she really excited at the thought of possibly having a niece or nephew. Preferably a niece.

。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

After Ginny and Austin had told their mom off for shouting at their hormonal, pregnant sister, Ginny texted Padma hoping she’d be able to cheer you up. Padma had shown up at your house to whisk you away for a little. Before you left you tightly hugged Ginny and Austin who had showered you with love before you left, showing they supported you in whatever you would decide to do. Their kind words brought tears to your eyes, but you blinked them away not wanting to cry anymore. As for your mom, you assumed she was hiding in her room, an attempt at hiding you from her disappointment in you.

Padma came from the even wealthier side of Wellsbury, so money was something she didn’t lack. She had taken you out for some ice cream, ordering your favorite. Once you both had finished your ice creams, she decided you both needed a mani-pedi. 

Padma had definitely helped relax you with her impromptu girl’s day. Once you guys finished at the salon, you begged Padma to let you stay the night at her house, not wanting to return to your own and possibly run into Marcus or your mother.

You were grateful when she said yes, and it was a good thing seeing as Marcus had shown up at your house, looking for you.

Ginny stood with her arms crossed, her full eyebrows raised in umbrage. Marcus nervously swallowed at your little sister’s seeming repulsiveness toward him. Before he could even utter a letter she began, “She’s not here. And even if she were, she most definitely wouldn’t want to see you.” She told him, her words filled with nothing but loathing for the boy. 

“Ginny, I-”

“You know I really don’t understand what she sees in you. You have treated her like some disposable toy for I don’t even know how long, yet somehow she still loves you.” She bit her lip in anger, “You don’t deserve her, she deserves someone way better than you, someone who actually loves her, cares about-”

“Ginny, you can say whatever you want about me, but don’t say that I don’t care about or love your sister, because I do.” He interrupted her, with anguish.

“Then act like it, Marcus!” She shouted at him, “Because you say one thing, but you do the complete opposite! You need to get your shit together before it’s too late, and she leaves you. For good. It seems like she’s this close to dropping your ass,” She gestured with her hand. 

Marcus clenched his jaw, his eyes glazing over with tears as he gave a small nod at the young girl who was grilling him, “I’m trying, Ginny.” He softly spoke.

“Well try harder, Marcus, for my sister, for your unborn child. I mean, don’t you want to be in their life?”

“I don’t know if they’re gonna have a life”

“Well, that’s something you guys need to talk about, and Marcus, please, stop hurting her,” Ginny begged.

“I promise,” He murmured his voice breaking slightly.

。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

You returned home the next day and were full-on expecting to come home and be met with an angry mom, and a torn-up room. Albeit, it was the opposite. Your eyes held a sadness in them, feeling completely lost and overwhelmed. You were surprised when you swung your door open, your mother sat on your bed in your somehow tidy room. 

She gave you a soft smile, tears in her eyes. You weren’t sure what to do, so you simply stood there, feeling shame, waiting for her to practically throw you out. You attempted to blink your tears away, hugging yourself in an attempt to comfort yourself.

“Baby… I’m- I’m so sorry for what I said yesterday.”

Your eyes were turned downward, your gaze on the floor. Suddenly you saw her feet appear in front of your own before you felt her wrap her arms around you, causing your tears to silently fall. “I should have never called you stupid, because my sweet girl you are anything but, and I am so proud of you, okay?” She said her voice full of emotion, her hand soothingly rubbing your back. 

You silently nodded, sniffles and soft whimpers leaving you. “I’m gonna be here with you baby girl, every step of the way, alright? I support you no matter what, darling, I love you so much.” She whispered as you continued to keep your head buried in the crook of her neck.

“I’m so mad at myself for what I said to you baby, please forgive me, I know what it’s like to be in your position and I really should have comforted you instead of making you feel worse.” She cradled your head in her hands, before pulling back from you, wiping your tears, and placing a kiss on your forehead.

You sat on your bed, cuddled up with your mom, being in her arms brought you the utmost comfort. Your head once again, found its place in the crook of her neck with your eyes closed. They felt so sore from all the crying you had done in the past month and a half. 

“Have you and Marcus talked about what you’re gonna do?” Your mother softly asked you.

You wordlessly shook your head ‘no’. “I think he thinks I want an abortion,” You gently voiced. “Oh, and may I ask why he thinks that?” 

“It was after I told you guys about my pregnancy, and I came up here, and I was really upset, and I said that maybe I should just abort it. I didn’t know Marcu was here and he heard me, I haven’t talked to him since.” She quietly nodded, processing your words.

“And is that what you want, baby?”

“I don’t know mama, a part of me wants to try and raise this baby but I don’t wanna do it without him, but I think I’m gonna have to.” Your voice cracked at your last words.

“If he’s in your baby’s life, is up to him. But honey, you won’t have to raise your baby alone, you’re gonna have me, Ginny, Lo, we're all gonna be here to help you and support you if you decide you want to keep this baby.”

You nodded, her words bringing some comfort to you. Your mom let out a small sigh but before she could say anything else you spoke up. “Mom, how did you decide you wanted to keep me?” You questioned her. “Honestly, honey, I just knew. I mean from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I couldn’t wait for you. I was so happy to finally be able to love someone so dearly, who’d love me just as much as I loved them. I guess in a way… it was for my own selfish reasons of wanting to feel loved, but I try not to think about that too much, and just focus on being grateful for you, and to my younger self for making the only decision that I felt was right.”

“I think, I think I wanna keep them.” You said, gently placing your palm against your tummy that’d soon grow to carry your baby.

You stayed in your mother’s loving embrace for a while longer before she moved, explaining to you she had some things she had to take care of. She sent Ginny and Austin up to cuddle you, before making her way towards the Baker’s house.

It was pure luck that Marcus happened to be walking out of his house, just as she had begun walking toward their front door. “Marcus, just the boy-soon-to-be-father, I wanted to talk to.” She smiled, a calculating smile, at the boy.

“Mrs. Miller, uh, I don’t know what to say…” He murmured.

“Well, I just wanted to come over here and congratulate you, of course. As well as to remind you that you will help raise this child and if you continue to string my daughter along, and treat her like your little plaything, you won’t get to see your child grow, let alone the light of day, okey-dokey?” Her serious expression abruptly disappeared as she once again smiled at him and patted his shoulder.

“I think this chat went splendidly, but I best get going,” She said before walking off.

Marcus was left speechless, mouth slightly ajar. He had yet to tell his parents, and he hadn’t thought you would’ve already told Georgia. His talk with Max had made him realize he needed to tell you how he felt about you and your unborn child.

You, Ginny, and Austin had just settled into a comfortable position on your queen size bed, which was oh-so-comfortable. A knock interrupted your laughter at the movie that had been playing. It caused the three of you to glance at each other before Ginny decided to go and answer it. You followed her, not wanting her to answer the door by herself. Of course, that prompted Austin to go as well.

“Ginny, wait, for-”

You were interrupted by Ginny pulling the door wide open, Marcus stood on your porch, your favorite flowers in hand and a stuffed teddy bear. He looked up as the door opened, making eye contact with Ginny, his eyes held remorse, he was ready to plead with Ginny to speak with you, however as his lips moved to form the words, his eyes caught you, as you stood a little ways behind her. 

“Y/n?” He questioned in a soft tone.

Ginny raised her full brows at the boy, unimpressed, “Y/n do you want me to-” she began but you cut her off. “It’s okay Ginny, why don’t you and Austin go watch the movie, I’ll be up soon.” You smiled at the two.

Ginny stood there for a moment before you shooed her away. Austin left after he had turned to Marcus and said, “If you hurt my sister, I’ll hurt you. Trust me, I’ve stabbed someone with a pencil before.” in a serious tone.

“I promise I won’t, not anymore.” He said with a nod of his head.

You turned back to face Marcus, you attempted to keep your guard up, arms crossed as you raised your brows expectantly at the boy, waiting for him to speak. Marcus held out the teddy bear that was half your size and the chocolates, you silently accepted them, gesturing for him to follow you to the living room. Once you had both gotten seated comfortably on the couch he spoke up.

“Bub, I am so sorry for the way I’ve been treating you and our relationship recently. I know nothing I say will excuse my actions- not that I want it to, I just, want you to know that I’m so sorry for the way I’ve acted recently. And  I-I,” He clasped his hands together before he closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at his struggle to say whatever he was trying to say. 

Marcus opened his eyes glancing at the ceiling before returning to meet your own eyes, his brown eyes slightly glazed over. “Y/n, I love you.” Those three words were not what you were expecting Marcus to say, after all, he hadn’t said them in over a year. You tried to remain stoic, however, Marcus knew you, and he could see the tears that had welled up in your beautiful eyes. You turned away from him to wipe a stray tear that had cascaded down your cheek, you hated how hormonal your pregnancy made you. You faced Marcus once again, his eyes practically begging for you, your touch, your love. 

You gave in as you practically jumped into his arms, your head buried in his chest. He embraced you in his arms, as your eyes watered. “I’m sorry I haven’t told you I love you in so long. I just, I guess… since- Noah, I was… I don’t know, scared of losing you, and I- I tried to push you away. I could never commit though, I love you too much to ever truly let you go.” His arms tightened around you as he said those last few words. 

You sniffled you can’t believe you had never realized that maybe Marcus had been acting this way due to losing Noah, you were mad at yourself. “I’m sorry too. Sorry for not realizing, god how could I have been so insensitive, all this time…” You whimpered. 

“Princess, you have nothing to be sorry for, you were there for me through all of that, and I’m so grateful for you and so sorry I never showed you how much I appreciated it. I don’t know how I’m gonna make up all of this to you, but I will, I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy.” He said, one of his hands cradling your head in his palm. 

“And I-, if you decide that you want to keep the baby, I will try my hardest to be the best dad to them that I can.” He gently murmured. His words caused you to slightly pull away so you could meet his eyes. 

“Marcus, that day you were in my room, I-I never meant what I said,” Your voice cracked, “I was just so upset because I had told everyone about the baby and my mom didn’t really react that well… and she called me stupid, I- I overreacted and I wish I could take back what I said. I never once thought about aborting the baby, our baby.” You sniffed, as more tears fell from your eyes, prompting Marcus to wipe them. 

“I’m sorry you had to tell your family by yourself. I wanted to be there with you, and support you. I never should’ve acted like such a fucking asshole when you told me, I was just scared…and just a fucking dipshit, god. I never should have said what I said to you Y/n, and I will never ever act like that ever again. I know I’m the only person you’ve been with and I should have never questioned if the baby was mine, I was being a complete dick. I know you think I’ve been with others but I haven’t. You were my first, and only.” He said, which slightly shocked you.

“What? How did I not know that…”

“I wanted you to think I was cool and I don’t know somewhat experienced, I was dumb and immature.” He responded. You simply nodded, he was.

Marcus cleared his throat, “Y/n, I-I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore and you want to co-parent our baby. I mean- I’ve hurt you so, so much and I wish I could take back all that I did to hurt you, and all the pain that I’ve caused you. So, I-I won’t like it, but I’ll understand.”

You looked at Marcus, his eyes full of remorse, and love. “I love you so much Marcus, with all my heart. And after everything that we’ve been through, I love you just as much as the day I first met you. I still want to be with you, and raise our baby.” You smiled, your eyes scintillating with tears. “But, if you ever, ever treat me or speak to me the way you have been, I will not hesitate to end things. Because as much as I love you, I will not allow anyone to treat me like that again, let alone the father of my child.” You said, trying to keep your voice even, so he couldn’t hear the hurt. 

Marcus nodded, “Thank you, for giving me a second chance.” He said cradling your face in his hands. He began to lean in closer toward you, and you followed along, closing the distance between the two of you. As your lips met, you felt tears fall from both his and your eyes as you both poured all of your heart and love into the kiss. Your hands wrapped around his neck, one moving up into his hair and running your hands through his silky strands of hair, as you tried to pull him impossibly closer to you. Marcus was just as eager to be as close to you as possible, pulling you in his lap. 

Your lips continually met, kissing until you had to pull away to breathe.

“We're having a baby,” He said as tears of joy fell from both of your guy's eyes. You nodded, your grin matching his own. His eyes widened for a second, “What?” You questioned him.

“We still have to tell my parents.”

“Crap, and Max.” You whined.

“I already told her…”

“Oh, okay. What’d she say?” You said slightly relieved and slightly nervous.

“She didn’t really say how she felt just slapped some sense into me, but I can tell she wanted us to keep the baby..” He smiled.

“Well, I’m glad, remind me to thank her.” You returned a smile to him. He nodded, pulling you into him, once again hugging you, which you gladly accepted. You stayed like that for a couple moments. 

“Let’s go and watch the movie with Gin and Austin?” 

Marcus nodded with a smile, pulling you to stand with him. Once you both made it to your room, you smiled at the sight of your siblings cuddled together on your bed, waiting for you.

“Make some room for us?” You questioned them.

They both turned to you, raised eyebrows of curiosity. 

“We’re keeping the baby, so we’re gonna need all the help we can get.” You grinned, hand in Marcus’s own. 

Ginny and Austin had smiles plastered on their faces, as they jumped off your bed and ran towards you and Marcus, pulling both of you into a hug. This caused you and Marcus to laugh. You both had a feeling that everything would be okay. As long as you had each other and your families, you’d be able to overcome anything. 

。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ

A/N: I hope this was good and I hope it made y’all cry because once my writing has brought tears to someone's eyes, I’ll know my writing is at least okay, haha. Anyways I kinda wanna write a follow-up to this like about y’all going to the first doctor appointment, and stuff like that! 

ALSO, a lot happened in this. I LOVED miller!reader,  little!sister!Ginny & BFF!Padma, but how do y’all feel about it? 🤨

don't ask about the fic name i feel like it was kinda related to the fic but also not... I was just listening to champagne problems by taylor swift & was like that’ll do 🥲

& this idea just randomly popped in my head and I had to write it and if the ending feels rushed it’s because it kinda was because I wanted to post this for y’all! 💞 

[luvzxr]

Sun kissed skin

The pogues had all spent the entire day out surfing, mostly everyone ending up sunburnt and completely exhausted, including you and JJ. The two of you had showered, and while you were messing with your hair, JJ went out to the screened in porch to lay on the couch.

Once you were done, you walked out to find him there, the whole length of the couch covered by JJ’s body.

“Tired?” You asked with a slight tilt of your head and a small smile.

He hummed into the couch, that being the only form of response he gave you. You took the opportunity and walked over and plopped yourself down right on top of his back.

He grunted in response. “Hi, baby.”

You smiled at his mumbled words, sliding the length of your arms under his shirt so you could feel his warm skin. It was like he was putting off heat.

“Hi.” You spoke just as softly as he had, snuggling into his back. “You’re warm.” “I’m burnt.” He huffed out a small laugh in response he turned his head a bit to be able to look at you.

You pressed a small kiss to his cheek before cuddling back into him, trying to soak in the warmth from his skin. “Still, warm is comfortable.” JJ had a small smile on his face as he slowly let his eyes start to close, his body succumbing to sleep after such a long day.  

[luvzxr]

Little Pougie

Chapter 9

Erm so longer than I thought when I made my last update regarding Little Pougie lol. I am so very sorry about that. Life happened and I just didn't have much time to write and also update at the same time. Anyways I will try to be consistent again with posting this story and soon I will be posting another one to wattpad again so yay! Anyways I'll stop yappin.

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Summery; in which fem!reader is the little sister of John B Routledge. Sweet, gentle and innocent. The complete opposite of JJ Maybank but e finds himself falling for her and he can’t stop himself from doing so.

Pairings; Fem!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count; 2,907

Warnings; Throughout this series there are talks of abuse, drug and alcohol use, trauma, talks of self doubt and wanting to be unalived. Possible smut in the future as well so read at your own risk!

09. Screw Up

JJ woke up the next morning in a bed that wasn't his and a throbbing headache that only he could blame himself for.

Of course, he had experienced this before. This wasn't the first time he considered himself immobile due to the raging hangover he was currently enduring. But JJ wasn't focused on that; he was more focused on the main question repeating itself in the back of his mind— how the hell did he get into the little girl's room and why had no one dragged him out of it yet.

He wasn't complaining, just to make that very clear. The man hadn't slept on a proper mattress in months and to be given the opportunity to was more than generous. He knew to give proper thanks to Y/n the next time he'd see her.

But he was trying to recall the events that took place the night before because frankly, something was screaming inside that he'd gone a little too far and he needed to get to the bottom of what exactly he'd done.

"Oh good. You're awake man," John B said. His body was in a stance that seemed he was only passing by.

JJ shook his head, lifting it soon after to give his full attention to his friend who stood outside the door frame. "Yeah.." he trailed off, "What time is it?"

"Uh-" John B paused, leaning back to glance at the clock hanging outside the room, "Almost noon."

JJ gave a subtly nod, sitting up slowly and tossing his legs over the side of the bed. Groans of pain fell from his lips as he leant his elbows on his knees, head in his palms.

The night previously was still quite nothing but a blur to JJ. His mind was blank even though he was desperately trying to dig into the deepest pits of his memories and drag out the selected ones he currently needed.

John B however, was actually quite amused. It was an often repeated cycle he got to witness from the young blonde-- get drunk or high, say or do some fucked up shit, and then have hardly the memory of it the next morning. Normal.

"So, how was my sister?"

I'm sorry, what?

JJ's head snapped up immediately, "What?"

"My sister. Her bed. She stayed in here with you last night," John B walked from the doorframe but kept his voice audible enough for JJ to hear him clearly the farther he got from proximity.

Though, he didn't have to after that last statement because JJ was right on his tail— If he was gonna find out what happened last night, his best bet currently was John B's memory of it.

JJ also couldn't shake the feeling that John B was pulling some kind of sick prank on him because there was no way in hell that if anything did happen between him and Y/n last night he wouldn't still be here to relive the aftermath. The boy would be six feet under in a grave somewhere or at the bottom of the deepest ocean with a chain wrapped around his torso.

"Don't worry, you didn't fuck her,"

Thank God.

"Cause I would have killed you," John B's transition from monotoned to stern was almost immediate. The man meant business when it came to his little sister.

"Right," JJ's nerves had a chance to relax a bit because at least he hadn't had a mindless hook up with his best friend's little sister so whatever he'd done, at least it wasn't as bad as that.

JJ was having a hard time fully relaxing though because a part of him still felt uneasy. Y/n had left before he even woke up— Sure, the girl could have had some classes to attend to but JJ was a light sleeper and he would have felt her leave or she would have at least said something to him before she left. But she hadn't.

Maybe he was putting too much thought into and it was just the weird side effects of the alcohol wearing off from last night. Maybe Y/n was just running late and she didn't have the time to tell him or maybe he just wasn't conscientious enough for her to wait around for him.

He was actually trying to find excuses on why she hadn't told him she was leaving but rather why she'd have to tell him at all.

The girl had a completely separate life from his own so why was he so focused on hers? More importantly; Why was he so bent on her not waking him and explaining where she was off to because Y/n wasn't the type to leave a man hanging in the morning, and not in that sense.

Y/n would always wake JJ if she was off somewhere, at least if he was staying over which in the past recent months it's been more like living there. He knew where she was going or what she was doing just as much as John B would so why didn't she tell him?

Why do you care?

"Yo! Jay?"

"Huh?"

"You're in your own head, man," John B stated, tapping on the side of his own head. The boy was in general trying to be snarky, which JJ caught on pretty quickly.

JJ had to refrain himself from rolling his eye and completely ignored the fact that the question blurting out of his mouth sounded weirdly concerning when it came to John B having to listen to it.

"Where'd Y/n go?"

"What?"

"She was sleeping in the bed with me and never woke up to tell-"

JJ stopped while he was ahead because the statement he was about to finish left a weird type of feeling in the pit of his stomach. It felt like millions of tiny butterflies swarming the inside of his stomach.

Why the hell would I be getting butterflies over Y/n?

The thoughts started to become deafening to JJ, ultimately making him more and more agitated. Sure, he care a lot for the younger girl and he'd risk anything for her but wouldn't anyone who saw the girl as a little sister feel that way?

JJ couldn't do that. He couldn't risk seeing the girl any more than family or some sort of best friend because if he had he couldn't bare the look of himself if he ever hurt her the way he was known for hurting others— But maybe he already had.

He needed to find out.

"Just.. where is she, dude? I kinda need to talk to her," JJ uttered. throwing a newly, somewhat washed, t-shirt over his head along with a few of his personal belongings.

"She's at work man," John B continued, "What do you need to talk to her about?"

"How I screwed up,"

"The hell do you mean screwed up?"

"How I slept in her bed and how uncomfortable that must have been for her John B," JJ barked, a pinched expression exposed. He loved the guy but there were moments, just like this, where he wished his best friend would just shut the fuck up and let him do his thing.

JJ of course wanted to apologize for the moment they had last night as well but he felt that only needed to be between him and Sophie herself so he kept that part under wraps. For now, anyway.

John B understood JJ more than anyone else could so he knew how this was eating away at him deep inside. The poor guy would strip himself of his own humanity if it meant he didn't have to hurt or make the people he loved uncomfortable.

What John B couldn't express to JJ was the fact that Y/n was uncomfortable with what happened last night but she never told him why and he didn't have the heart to tell his best friend that his little sister only comforted JJ because she cared about him. He just couldn't push himself to hurt him like that.

Instead, he chose to let his best friend find his way out of the house in a hurry without another word. He'd figure it out sooner or later of how Y/n really felt.

Y / N

I couldn't get the previous events of last night out of my head— They flooded my entire brain and it was starting to aggravate me.

I had witnessed him fall apart so few times because he was just too good at hiding his feelings. However, when he managed to let them slip, it was so hard to ignore it. 

Watching how he tore himself open and then fall apart just left an uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach, not to mention it worried me for him more and that part also seemed to be confusing for myself. 

I'd known how I viewed JJ almost my entire life. He was like another sibling of mine, he protected me and was there for me like John B always been but it started to feel like that titled shifted without even knowing properly that it had. It started to scared me a little bit if I was being real honest with myself.

"Y/n!" A far too familiar girl with illuminating honey pools for eyes emerged from behind the bar, waving a hand at me and suddenly my stomach began to churn. I forced a smile and a small gesture of my own hand while walking towards her.

She wore her normal attire; a maroon cropped tank, a pair of black jean shorts, and her hair was thrown up in a perfectly placed messy bun. The girl had quite the confidence which I truly admired her for-- She was a badass.

"Hey Kie," I said, placing my small bag on the floor behind the bar, "What's up?'

"Why'd you have to leave last night?"

At that moment I swear I was like a deer caught in headlights because even though I hadn't told her anything I felt deep in my gut that she knew something was up.

How was I supposed to tell her that I had to leave because the guy she was in love with needed me to come back and for the entire night I held him while he cried to me. That should of been Kiara there, not me but that wasn't quite how things played out, was it?

How the feelings of certainty for JJ seemed to be just a bit different now. 

I had to lie to her.

"Oh.. the boys got a little too drunk last night and John B tripped and cut himself on some glass," I responded, wiping down the wood texture of the tabletop, "He needed me to check him out and bandage him up. You know how they hate having to go to the hospital,"

To my surprise; the lie worked which relieved some stress for the time being.

"What?!" she shrieked. She was both mortified and worried. Taking into full account how all the nights she witnessed the boys get absolutely trashed and how that never ended well.

"He's okay, he's resting up,"

"Oh thank god," she continues, "What about JJ?"

JJ. He sure keeps coming up, doesn't he?

"Oh, yeah. He's fine. He was asleep when I got there," I could feel my gut churning at every lie that slipped through my lips. It was killing me-- lying like this to Kie. I didn't want to hurt her. The girl was over the moon for him and I felt selfish because a part of me wanted JJ, I didn't know why or what for but It was there.

She's known the boy for so long and for a period of time, it seemed like the girl was truly his safe haven. Until she wasn't.

I never spent as much time with JJ in the past as I had recently.

I didn't know that when he was worried or anxious that he'd hold his chest. I didn't know who he was when no one else was around except him and another. I didn't know that when I was around he tried to be more responsible. I didn't know that when he slept he made the sweetest snores or how he talked so softly in his sleep.

I didn't know a lot of things before about JJ. But now I do and I could feel something was changing inside of me on how I viewed him. It terrified me but also gave me a sense of something that raised excitement.

Which is why it was so selfish of me to feel this way.

Every thought was nothing more than a mixed bag of emotions craving to know the right answer. But that's the thing about life; There is never really the right answer, is there?

"Y/n/n?"

"Huh?"

"You seem a bit tired. Why don't you go on home?" Kie spoke. Watching and helping customers with their usual afternoon activities in The Wreck.

I didn't want to go home though, not yet. Not when I had every thought crowded with nothing but JJ and not even of other things that I should have been worrying about. Work was the only distraction I had left.

"No, I'm okay. Besides, you'd be the only one working and you could use the extra hand,"

"Okay, but if you need the day off just head home," she said, placing dirty plates and cups on a plastic tray before pointing at me with a stern look. She then made her way into the back room to what I assumed was to drop off the dishes.

And for a moment, I had a second to breathe.

Although, it most certainly didn't feel like breathing at all-- In fact, it felt like I was just released from someone's personal choke hold on me along with avoiding a horrendous heart failure situation.

You just need to get through today.

But no matter how much I tried to remind myself of that I continued to trail back to what I would have to deal with at home.

I left JJ without a single goodbye or shaking him awake to let him know I was off to work. Something I had always done but refused to do today. The boy would either be on a manhunt for me right now or he'd be sitting and waiting for my return at home. Either way, I was screwed and would have to talk to him.

I didn't plan to avoid him forever, just until these strange feelings I had was something I could actually put a label on instead of storing it away in the non-label file deep inside my head.

I couldn't stand that— how people chose to ignore the fact they needed to know what a certain feeling meant. Instead, they choose to brush it off and continue throughout playing mindless games with another. It was repetitive and I couldn't do that.

The remaining time of my day consisted of serving and bussing tables until nine p.m.— it wasn't a job I'd choose to do but rather I enjoyed the pay so the money weighed out the cons. Not to mention I truly loved the days I scheduled with Kiara because having a friend always made work and time go by so much faster.

However, I was kind of in hopes that JJ wasn't going to be the one picking me up. I'd take literally anyone else other than him so it felt like an endless cycle of utter anxiety waiting on my ride.

"Jay has been acting weird lately," Kie's words pierced straight through my thoughts entirely.

"How do you mean?"

I knew exactly what she was talking about. I knew he had been dodging her calls and ducking her texts of trying to get ahold of him and have a decent conversation again with him. The guy had no idea how to tell her his true feelings without hurting her in the process so he chose to do the semi-hurtful thing and just ghost her for the time being.

I couldn't imagine how confused she must of felt and how hurt she truly was.

"He won't talk to me. He won't even pick up the phone and answer me for a split second," her voice sounded pained, like she was on the verge of tears just bringing it up, "we haven't even had a full conversation of what happened between us,"

"Maybe he just needs some space," I placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, trying to find any way possible to comfort her.

She nodded, her doed-eyes connecting with my own. I felt for her, I knew the familiar pain she must of felt and I couldn't stand watching her do this to herself without her knowing the truth.

I sighed, "Maybe he just,"

"Y/n," I heard being called out and at that moment I felt my own heart sink to the very pits of my own stomach.

It was JJ. He was standing in the doorframe of the restaurant, twirling the worn down twinkie key around his index finger with ease.

Of course he was my ride home.

Even though I already knew the answer to the stupid question I was about to ask, I still asked anyway because my mouth opened before I thought otherwise.

"What are you doing here?"

"Picking you up," JJ responded, nodding his head slightly. His own eyes wouldn't even land on Kiara for a second but instead stayed glued to me. "John B couldn't so I'm here."

The one time I truly needed John B to come to my rescue rather than JJ was the one time he didn't show up.

This was about to be one hell of a ride home with JJ Maybank.

[luvzxr]

Will be bringing out part 9 of little Pougie out too! Possibly tomorrow or the next day. I will be taking a trip to Arizona so I won’t be updating it for the up coming two weeks as this is just a fair warning! Thank you all for the support on my work recently, it means so much to me that so many of you have shown so much interest in my book and I appreciate all the likes and comments in it as well! 🤍

[luvzxr]

• Simp!Carl drabble •

Masterlist

carl grimes is a simp confirmed

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Okay so I feel like carl is always super attentive to you, he never lets you go without – even in times of extreme hardship in the group. He’ll always give you the bigger share of snacks he finds, running over to find you when he finds an untouched chocolate bar that the two of you can split then and there, your little ritual when on runs. He’ll offer you that infectious smile of his and turn what was supposed to be a serious supply run into a giggle fest that has you thanking your stars you have him.

I feel like Carl’s default ways to show his love are through acts of service and physical affection. He’s constantly handling things for you, without you asking. He’ll clean the mud and mulch off your boots, fold your laundry, peel and cut fruit up for you (in a wonky fashion), he’ll clean your weapons – taking extra care to get into the crevices and mechanisms (regardless of struggling with a slightly [unintentional] heavy hand). He wants to spend his time making your life easier.

He always keeps his eye out for you when on runs, picking up things he knows you can use. He knows how much you value having a shower, especially after being covered in walker blood or muck more often than not. He’ll search for toiletries and shampoos for you (hoping you’ll invite him to shower with you so he can share the products and smell like you).

I know that Carl adores physical touch. When the two of you were younger, you’d hook your pinky fingers together before progressing to holding hands – a silent promise to stay close and stay alive. He’ll nudge you for love all the time, prompting you with his own. He’s definitely all for distracting you with kisses so that you break concentration and shower him with love. He loves to be in your space and definitely likes to be close enough to whisper stupid inside jokes to you, jumping on any available opportunity to make you laugh.

He likes to keep the details of your relationship mostly private (excluding Michonne), but is hellbent on solidifying to anyone and everyone that he’s yours and you’re his. He’s not particularly possessive, but he is jealous – in the ‘they don’t deserve to lay eyes on you’ way. He gets pissed when he sees other people looking at you with intent, and he is not quiet or reserved about those feelings.

Carl loves to think of himself as yours, he’ll do anything you ask of him first time:

“Carl, sweetheart, can you open this for me?” you’d ask your boyfriend who was sat at the kitchen table, feeding Judith some apple slices. “Do you even need to ask?” he’d smile back over to you, taking the jar from your hands. [Carl would struggle to open the jar but pretend as if he were joking, the second you turned your back he’d give the lid a quick tap on the counter and open it up immediately afterwards – pretending that he had it open all along] [Carl, presenting you with a now opened jar, proud smirk on his face] “Here” “Thank you, pretty boy” you’d reply, refusing to admit that you’d already had that jar opened and closed it again to let this scene play out.

[3am, stormy night in Alexandria] “Carl,” you’d nudge your boyfriend, checking to see if he’s awake. “Mm?” he’d respond all groggy, still half asleep. “I think I left my boots on the porch,” you’d begin, unable to finish your sentence because Carl had already kissed you on the forehead and gone downstairs to bring your boots inside. [Carl, coming back into bed, wet through] “Don’t worry about it, angel, I’ve sorted it”

You’d come back home for your break between a double shift on watch and accidentally fall asleep on the sofa after placing your weapons on the coffee table in front of you. You’d wake up after hearing small rumblings and clicks, wondering what on earth could be going on, you’d reach for your gun which…isn’t there. You’d look around before noticing Carl sat in the armchair to the side of you, cleaning your gun with an immense amount of concentration. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you” he’d whisper, concentration broken. “No no, I’m glad you’re here,” you assure, readjusting to get comfortable, “I can finish that up if you’re busy.” [Wounded puppy Carl, softly] “But...I like doing this for you…” “I like when you do too, carry on, pretty boy.”

Carl is eagerly desperate for any attention that you’ll give him. He hates when your thoughts don’t involve him, he wants to be the object of your affection all the time. He adores you, he wants to be the source of your happiness, to be the one to make your life worth living – just as you have done for him. Essentially, I’m definitely of the opinion that he feels equally indebted to and enamoured with you as he’s forever grateful for the time you share with him. He thinks of you as the person who brought him back from the worst place imaginable, the only one who could, his angel – his lifeline.

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

and that's on carl being raised right - ty aunt carol and aunt maggie

[luvzxr]

Little Pougie

Chapter 8

I'm getting lazy with making cover photos so have a gif :D

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Summery; In which fem!reader is the little sister of John B Routledge. Sweet, gentle and innocent. The complete opposite of JJ Maybank but he finds himself falling for her and he stop himself from doing so.

Pairing; Fem!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count; 3,515

Warnings; Throughout this series there are talks of abuse, drug and alcohol use, trauma, talks of self doubt and wanting to be unalived. Possible smut in the future as well so read at your own risk!

08. Stay

It wasn't new for Maybank to get absolutely wasted, regardless of a special occasion. The boy would do just about anything to slow down the racing thoughts even just for a second. But sometimes doing so, left his colleagues to pick up the shattered pieces that he let fall-- more specifically, (Y/n).

The girl was quite familiar with this state of mind that JJ seemed to always find himself stumbling back into on nights he drank just a little too much— where he chose to drink too much. And each time the girl grew even more worrisome of just how far he'd go to stop the thoughts.

Nothing in the world could compare to the night (Y/n) witnessed him fully break, though.

The incident had been quite a few years ago, around the time the boy was celebrating his fifteenth birthday, and like any other young pouge, they were tipping bottles back as a celebration for surviving fifteen years of life— whether that was in and out of juvenile prison or the streets, to them it was still something worth celebrating over.

Though, instead of having multiple types of illegal liquor in his arms and a bump to his step, he showed up empty handed with a swollen right eye and busted lip.

His father beat him. On his birthday.

The day that most parents celebrate their kids is the same day that JJ's father pumbled him. The same day that the only parent that JJ Maybank had left, showed him that even his own blood didn't care about him.

The sight of the boy was enough to break your heart in two. Something inside of him died that day, a part of him that never truly came back even to this very day. It seemed that if there was anything left, it was pain and anger— Or it was the only thing that most people saw after that.

No words were even muttered because frankly, the whole situation threw his friends into a fit of panic and sorrow, even a little bit of shock. Everyone knew the type of man his father, Luke, was but what no one expected was that he had the heart to hit his own kid on his birthday. What was even worse was that officials knew of these situations at the Maybank residence but no one cared enough to try and fix it.

JJ refused to go into foster care and they couldn't keep him in juvie for a long period of time unless he were to do a heinous crime so everyone just chose to look in the opposite direction and only hoped that the man would kick rocks or disappear because either way, they wouldn't have to do a damn thing about JJ then.

After a long period of silence, John B pulled his friend into an embrace. He knew that it wouldn't fix anything but maybe it'd make his friend feel a little less alone.

And even though JJ would never admit it. He needed that hug.

After a brief moment, the pouges began to party like nothing ever happened. Even though most of them wanted to say something, anything but they all knew better than to do that with JJ.

JJ began to drink more and more as the night grew longer till eventually, no one would ever imagine he'd remember anything from that night the next morning. He completely drown himself in the beverage, which only weighed more on everyone else's heart for him.

Maybe it would of been better if he had just killed me.

The girl was baffled to say the very least. To have to sit here and listen to the boy fall apart and think the worst was the hardest thing she's ever done. He was like another brother to her.

Hell, maybe it's better that way for you guys too.

She was quick to tell him that it wasn't true. That herself and the rest of the pouges loved him all the same. They couldn't see a life without JJ in it. Who would be the one to come up with all the unhinges plans? Who would be the one to have random days where they showed up with booze and just decided to have one hell of a party and the boneyard? Who'd be the one to pack it in just like him.

JJ Maybank was the soul to all of them and without him, the pouges just wouldn't be the same.

It was like he didn't hear (Y/n), and that's what scared her the most about an inebriated JJ. He just went through so much pain on a day that was supposed to be special for him and now he wouldn't even consider listening to a comforting word she said. She wanted to sob, beg him to listen to her because she knew the type of boy JJ Maybank truly was and she knew where this led him to.

Pougie, you and everyone else here knows that I'll die and it won't be due to old age. 

My body will lay lifeless on the ground one of these days due to my own doings and what a day to celebrate that will be.

His words haunted her because he tore so deep into himself and her, more than he had with anyone else. And as dramatic as it sounded, he was never the same. JJ didn't have the type of glimmer in his blue pools, they were dim. He was moody, irritable even and everyone was forbidden to mutter a word of that day. (Y/n) would never forget it, even if she tried.

So, maybe that's why she could feel her anxiety levels rising the close she got to her not-so-humble abode, knowing that the current state of the boy could, in fact, be in the same state he was years ago. JJ was also the type to have no filter when intoxicated and he'd often say things that he wouldn't remember or mean, without thinking.

But drunk words are sober thoughts, aren't they?

Upon approach, (Y/n) could see the screen door was left wide open, which wasn't much of a surprise because the boys were expecting her. It had given her the ultimate green light to just walk right in.

"Hey Pougie," John B said. Being the first to notice her arrival as he waved a lousy hand, beckoning her over.

She decided to release her fears for now and instead gave a soft smile before approaching her older sibling and embracing him in a short, but sweet hug. "Hey JB."

After the short sibling moment, Sophie started looking for any sign of the distressed blonde boy, "Where's JJ?"

John B glanced over at Pope, giving him a nervous grin. Hoping his other best friend could explain for him why the blonde wasn't in sight currently.

Pope began to shake his head vigorously, "Oh no-" he continued, "no, no, no. That's your responsibility to tell her-"

"Tell me what?" (Y/n) cut in.

"Your brother will tell you," Pope said, swinging his legs over the back side of the couch and towards the door in a haste to remove himself from the equation.

(Y/n) turned towards John B whose face looked more worrisome than the words soon to come out of his mouth, "He's in your room.."

In her room

It wasn't necessarily that she minded JJ staying in her room, she would happily take the couch in order to give the boy a proper bed and a good night's rest. She didn't mind at all, it was the fact that she'd have to go talk to him alone in there that worried her a bit.

The boy was drunk, he wasn't in the right state of mind and (Y/n) wasn't sure if it was the best idea to talk to him alone. Of course she didn't think he'd do anything to her, it was just she wanted to save a rather she didn't know what to expect after she walked in there. 

Whatever conversation they would have, would certainly take a dark turn.

(Y/n) was actually kind of hoping the boy would be passed out in her bed and she wouldn't have to have witness just how broken JJ was. At least, not again anyway.

"Oh.. okay," she trailed off, trying to find anything to pull away from the fact the drunken boy was lousing about in her room.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell ya, (Y/n/n). He hasn't been in there long I figured that it might be better for him to chill out and relax because you know how he gets— he's not himself and I thou-"

"It's okay John B, I don't mind him being in there," she rested her palm on his shoulder, hoping to save the boy, and herself from his rambling.

His tensed muscles relaxed at her words and he gave a soft nod in response.

"Is he sleeping?"

"He shouldn't be, I just sent him in," John B replied.

(Y/n) bit the inside of her cheek. That same anxious feeling she felt moments prior before stepping a foot through the door. She contemplated on doing an internal coin toss; deciding her fate of going in to check if the boy was still awake or just crashing on the couch in hopes the next morning he didn't think the girl actually dodged a conversation with him— when in fact, she kind of was.

(Y/n) was about to blurt out any excuse to just stay out in the living room with John B until morning when both of their attention was grabbed by a hard thud in the room next to them.

Both John B and (Y/n) glance from one another to the room before John B shook his head.

"He doesn't talk to me, Pougie. If anything, you're our best shot right now," he let out a sigh before continuing, "I know he did a number on you years ago with his little burst. Hell, he did with all of us but that was the first time he opened up to everyone and you seem to be the one who can get him to talk without an explosion happening,"

(Y/n) just gave a soft nod before ultimately making the decision to head off towards her bedroom where the drunken boy most likely found some possible way of injuring himself even while just sitting in place.

(Y/n) wasn't necessarily not happy to get to see JJ because, in fact, she was admittedly excited nonetheless but more worried about his wellbeing.

She could hear him before he even was viewable. Her door was wide open, just like how she left it before she had headed out earlier that afternoon. "Son of a bitch," her eyebrow raised in curiosity, "Fucking idiot. She's gonna kill you,"

(Y/n) wasn't too sure what exactly she was going to unalive him over. She never kept anything reliable out in the open and the reason why should be self explanatory; there were always too many boys hanging out to risk leaving anything precious of hers out for everyone to see.

Regardless, if he had broken anything of hers it would be replaceable as she was more worried for the boy than any object in the room.

The boy stood in an anxious stance, trying to desperately pick up a pile of scattered books that laid out on the floor of her bedroom. What she was able to put together without actually witnessing the incident was that the boy stumbled due to his drunken state and knocked them over trying to catch his balance.

She let out an unexpected giggle and almost as fast as it escaped her lips she slapped her palm over them. A poor excuse for trying to muffle herself.

JJ however, abruptly took notice of the small girl hovering in the doorway. His brows furrowed in the slightest with confusion before his slowed down intelligence caught onto exactly why the girl was giggling.

"(Y/n)," He breathed, "I-I didn't mean to knock them over, I'm a little drunk and I tried to catch them but-"

He had a moment of panic in which he had no idea whether to take the girl walking in on him as a good or bad thing.

Was she making fun of him for being such a fucking idiot? Did she laugh in a way of 'look at this dumbass' or 'Did he really just knock over a pile of books in a mildly open space?'. He didn't know. All he knew was the girl walked in on him in her room, knocking over her stuff.

"It's alright JJ," she said, dropping her overnight bag by the door frame and walking up to him.

His nerves calmed and he wrung his hands behind his back, trying to find the next set of words to say to the girl who he had no idea what the future mess he had gotten himself into held for him.

"What's going on JJ?" She asked, placing herself promptly on the edge of her bed. She patted the cushion next to her, inviting him to sit.

He hesitated for a moment. He knew she was expecting him to open up and a part of him wanted to, it was just the right words to say weren't coming to him when he needed them the most. 

"Why'd you need me to come back today?" Her head tilted the slightest, lashes fluttering up at him.

JJ was a bit disheveled, his dirty blonde hair was a mess with certain parts glued to his forehead from what was only assumed to be the fault of alcohol racing through his veins— contributing to heating his flesh up a lot faster than usual. And his red tank loosely fitted him almost perfectly.

(Y/n) snapped herself out of the very obvious fact she was gawking at a very distressed JJ. Despite the fact, he was a very good looking guy and was probably actually used to girls staring at him all the time. It felt wrong of her, she considered this boy to be like another brother to her and here she was checking him out.

The boy wasn't too sure if he should tell the truth or find a way to direct the conversation elsewhere. Find a different topic to keep the girl talking and become distracted from the real reason she showed up tonight.

"I'm.. having a hard time. Can you lay with me?"

Did she hear that right? Or was (Y/n) hallucinating.

She hesitated, his unusual demand caught her off guard. He blinked at her, no expression change except the fact he was actually expecting her answer to be a 'Yes'. She thought he would have redacted his demand by now but he hadn't, it wasn't even a thought in his mind to redact it.

"JJ I shouldn—"

"Please?" His blue glazed puppy stare was fixated on her.

She couldn't make out the feeling that raced through her veins at the sight of his facial expression and softened tone.

She actually didn't know why she always dropped everything for him. Sure, people counted on her to keep the unhinged boy from doing anything more damaging to himself than he already had but it was like she did it even when no one expected her to. She chose JJ over even some of the most important life events with no hesitation.

"Okay,"

(Y/n) complied nonetheless, laying back against the soft foam beneath her and staring mindlessly up at the ceiling.

The two teens didn't know where to take the conversation. JJ was still fighting that mental battle in his head about telling (Y/n) the truth. And (Y/n)— well (Y/n) had nothing to say until he did tell her the truth for she didn't know how to help if she didn't know what was bothering him.

Finally, (Y/n) broke what felt like an eternity of silence, "What's really going on Jay?" Her head turned to look at him, surprised to find the boy had already been staring at her.

"I don't know how to feel" he lied.

"Well, there is no way you should feel. You have a right to your own feelings JJ. It just matters how you handle them," She was gentle with her words.

"I hurt people,"

She reached a hesitant hand out, fingertips just barely grazing his naked shoulders. "Why do you think you hurt people?"

His eyes seemed to flicker around the room as if he was trying to find the right words to say, "I don't think, I know I do. That's all I ever do,"

(Y/n) could feel parts of her heart shatter at his words and it felt too damn familiar for her own liking. Her fear she had the whole way walking home of JJ being in the same state he was in years ago ended up being true.

"That's not true JJ," Her head shook, trying to comfort him in anyway she could think of because he needed it.

He was battling a war inside his own head and she could see it in action right now. She wasn't inside his head to witness the utter chaos inside but the way he struggled so hard to find the words to say, the way his mind seemed to be nothing but a mess he couldn't seem to get under control just made it obvious.

"No, it is true," he slurred with his voice softly cracking. He removed his arms that were wrapped around Sophie prior and sat up, hand rummaging through the already tangled golden tips of his hair, "I wish i was a good person. I wish I wasn't such a fucking messing.."

(Y/n) quickly sat up herself. She knew he was falling apart and there was nothing she could but just be there to catch him.

Her eyes slightly widened when she began to see his body heave up and down, the way she didn't have to be looking at his face to know he had tears in his eyes. He was trying so hard to keep himself together because he hated the fact of showing just how unstable he truly was to everyone else that he kept too much inside and now it was currently leaking out of him now.

He'd been through so much and with that, so much without a parental figure in his life to guide him through the hard times. He didn't have someone there to teach him how to handle his emotions or how life can just beat you to a pulp before he ever remotely got better. He didn't have a mother he could run and be held in her arms after his heart was shattered or a father he could go to, to get advice on better ways to be a good man. He had to learn it all by himself and that clearly had been taking quite a toll on him for some time now.

(Y/n) quickly pulled him to her, her arms wrapped around him to hold him close as he sobbed into her chest. Her gentle palm placed over the back of his head to cradle him close so he felt safe with her. She wanted him to be okay with how he felt and how sometimes, things are just too hard to handle on your own.

She could feel her own eyes welling up with tears and how her throat started to feel so closed like it does when she wants to just curl into a ball and cry herself to sleep. JJ didn't ever seem to get the fact that the girl truly cared for his well being because he was always there for her as well, that this hurt her as much as he was currently hurting inside.

"I'm here Jay," she murmured, trying the fight back the cracks in her voice desperate to slip out, "I'm here,"

It didn't take JJ long to wrap his own arms around (Y/n) again and pull her as close to himself as he physically could. 

He would never admit to anyone that sometimes this was just something he needed because that's just not who he was. He always was too closed off to willingly be open about the fact that he needed someone to show they cared about him in, that it was okay not to be okay. It just took the right person to do the job and the right person seemed to always be (Y/n).

"I don't know what to do,"

"It's okay to need someone JJ," (Y/n) held onto him tighter as he cried, pressing a small kiss on the top of his head and soothingly ran her fingertips through his golden strands.

JJ Maybank was a lot of things; a thief, a delinquent, and a soon-to-be high school dropout. He could go on with the names and categories he fit into and he could also go into detail with just how long that list really was.

if someone were to ask him how he truly felt about the girl, he'd tell them he saw her as his little sibling— a friend. And saying 'friend' or 'sibling' would have placed him in the category of a very unlikeable thing to his friends and colleagues; a liar and a man who breaks his word.

[luvzxr]

Hey y’all! I’ll be bringing chapter 8 out soon I’ve just had a lot going on and little to no time to post so I apologize!

[luvzxr]

Straight facts

the most realistic part of Outer Banks is when John B went to jail and when JJ started visited him, they both just started laughing.

IF MY BEST FRIEND WENT TO JAIL FOR MURDER, I WOULD BE LAUGHING TOO.

[luvzxr]

Little Pougie

Chapter 7

previous and next chapter

Hey All! I've been pretty low lately so this is coming up late and I am sorry.

Wattpad

Spotify

Summery; In which fem!reader is the little sister of John B Routledge. Sweet, gentle and innocent. The complete opposite of JJ Maybank but he finds himself falling for her and he stop himself from doing so.

Pairing; Fem!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count; 1,950

Warnings; Throughout this series there are talks of abuse, drug and alcohol use, trauma, talks of self doubt and wanting to be unalived. Possible smut in the future as well so read at your own risk!

Drown .07

(Y/n)

I usually don't hang out with Sarah or Kie - scratch that, I never really did. But when John B bats his ridiculous eyelashes with a puppy like plead, I usually could never tell him no. You could say that both of us like to use our puppy charm on each other. I couldn't complain though, I was having a good time with Sarah and Kie. I didn't have any other girlfriends than the two older ladies, one practically married to my brother and the other in love with his best friend, unexpectedly becoming the only two girls I could trust and hang around. It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter either.

And that's how I ended up positioned on the sofa in Sarah Cameron's little, but luxurious apartment her father handed over to her in a way to apologize to her. Of course, she hadn't accepted the apology but she needed the place to stay and it was probably the closest way she could get that as of right now. I'd much rather be sat up at home with a well over-sugared up drink and left over wrappers from numerous little bars of KitKat's but I wasn't entirely miserable lounging around with Kie and Sarah either. I had nothing else better to do on a Friday night and we weren't doing anything crazy. We were just sat on the small pieces of furniture, having a conversation.

I wasn't exactly the one having the conversation. Kie and Sarah were having their own little conversation about the boy troubles they'd been having with JJ and John B. I had no love interest to talk about so I found no need to pay much attention, let alone jump in with my two cents. So I was absent minded for the time being.

"(Y/n/n)?"

"Huh?" I said, my posture straightening once I realized my attention needed to be somewhere it truly mattered now.

"You're really quiet. What's up?" the blonde pointed out, pulling her legs up and crossing them over each other. She looked genuinely concerned and it made me question if JJ had mentioned to them about the incident that happened at work, which gave me all the more reason to try not to be suspicious. If John B found out then I'd never be able to work a day in my life again.

I shook my head, "I just don't have much to talk about," my shoulders rising up and falling back down. I truly wasn't interested in anyone and I partially had John B to blame for that. Most boys I did show interest in would only be shot down by my brother because he didn't like how the boy acted, where he came from, or just in general didn't like the idea of me being around him. I was a hopeless romantic but I wasn't exactly miserable, either.

I had nothing to really complain about because most of those boys eventually turned out to be exactly what John B warned me about. I had nothing but gratitude for him, regardless of his repetitive ways of protecting me.

"Have you ever been in love, (Y/n)?" the girl's brows furrowed.

All I could do was shake my head, which I guess seemed shocking to hear from a sixteen-year-old girl because Sarah seemed surprised. Maybe it was because no one really seemed to acknowledge the fact that I've never had a romantic connection with anyone other than fantasy characters on my favorite T.V. shows. I had no experience in that department-- most assumed I at least had a first kiss or even a hand-holding memory but I didn't. I was a virgin in almost every section and nothing was checked off the list.

"Well that's gonna have to change this summer," she said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"What?"

"Yep,"

"You can't force love, Sarah," I groaned.

"No, but you can put yourself out there more (Y/n/n)." Sarah pointed in my direction, giving me that certain look. Yknow, that look a person gives you when they know they're right and all you can do is let out a small puff of air in defeat.

"I've tried, Sarah. That doesn't work in my favor,"

I tried so many times to put myself out there, but almost every time I had I was proven I should have never done so in the first place. The men now of days wanted nothing more than to tear into the innocence of inexperienced girls in order to show off to their friends and I wasn't going to be some trophy, I knew better than that-- I wanted more than that.

It wasn't my fault that most guys were dickheads and found that reserving myself for the right guy was prudish. I wanted to make sure that if I was going to do anything with a guy, he was going to be the right person to do it with and so far, none of them fit that category yet. I wasn't going to let some self-centered asshole get under my skin about wanting to be with the right guy.

I was tempted to call John B and beg him to bring me home, I knew he'd pick up in a heartbeat knowing I was waiting for his answer on the other end of the line. Only I knew that if I called I'd have to explain to him why I didn't want to stay and endure the fact that he wouldn't take, 'nothing John B,' as an answer. I also didn't want to cause unnecessary arguing between my brother and his lover because they haven't been on the best of terms recently anyway.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place-- with no other options on my plate.

I could feel myself letting my mind wander off too far because every word slipping from Sarah's mouth became nothing but muffled sounds and I could do nothing but scold myself internally while trying to snap back to reality. Maybe it was just the topic of boys that hit home for me, or maybe it was just I found more comfort inside my head than expressing my trauma in fear that it would be passed down to my brother who eventually would never be able to live with himself if he knew the truth about my life and experiences.

John B's whole existence seemed to revolve around the simple task of keeping me out of harm's way, but even he couldn't do that and I don't blame him one bit for. He couldn't stand at my side for the rest of his life and I think even deep down, he knew that but he tried to be. He tries to be the big brother he's supposed to be but sometimes he also has to be a father and a mother at the same time and that's something he doesn't necessarily know how to be-- especially when he didn't get the luxury of feeling the parent love himself for a long period of time.

It was rough on him, too.

I knew he tried to keep himself together in front of me and everyone else— how he refused to have others worry about him when they had worse problems to focus on, and I'd never tell him this because I'd hate to see his face fall while I'd tell him but there have been multiple times where I've caught him sobbing—the kind of sobbing where you can't seem to make a noise but the broken plastered all over your face explains every ounce of pain you are feeling inside. Those moments are enough to break me, seeing my brother suffer in silence only to bounce back when he has to show his face around everyone is just a type of pain I can barely handle on the hardest days.

However, I wasn't too far gone to realize the immense buzzing at my side.

I glanced down, taking a quick peek at the caller ID, and realized it was the devil himself; John B.

You probably need to stop thinking about him, he can most definitely hear your thoughts.

A mix of shock and confusion filtered through my face but I reluctantly brought the device to my ear, not bothering to scan through the possible outcomes that were to come after picking up this call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Pougie," My brother slurred a tad with his words. He was tipsy but not completely gone. He sounded in distress, which was never good to hear when we were separated.  "I'm sorry to call you like this and interrupt your girls' night-"

"You didn't interrupt," I interrupt, trying to reassure him, "What's going on?"

"It's JJ."

My face fell the moment I heard his name, "What's wrong?"

I'm not sure why, but when it comes to JJ and drinking it always seems to end unpleasantly and I always assume something is wrong-- most times, it's nothing and they just need me to come help take care of him but there are other times when the boy has held too much in than he bursts when liquor comes into the equation.

I could hear a sigh on the other end before he continued, "He's drunk too much again and I kinda need your help. You're better at this stuff than I am,"

A part of me was inching for him to get on with it-- blurt it out if you will but then the other part was terrified to find out what kind of trouble JJ could have gotten himself into tonight.

"What do you mean?"

"It's like he exploded again (Y/n/n)," I could hear the worry beginning to devour his tone and at that moment I could feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

"Yeah, I can come home."

"He's been asking for you and said you're the only one he can talk to about this."

My facial expression morphed into full on confusion, and quite a bit of concern for JJ's state of mind currently.

Why am I the only person he can talk to?

"A-alright, I'll be there shortly then?"

I can hear a faint but familiar voice in the background of the call before John B could respond to me, "Is she coming?"

"Yeah man, she's on her way," my brother retorted with what I can only imagine of a small head nod.

A small pause filled the room on the other end and even on my own, I suppose no one really knew what to say until John B broke the silence.

"I'll see you soon (Y/n/n). Be careful and call me if you need me to pick you up, Okay?" 

I wasn't sure If I wanted to trust the boy's driving in this state of mind. He was decent, even when he wasn't sober but nonetheless, he still gave me practical anxiety attacks each time we drove while he was intoxicated. I think I'd rather take my chances of walking home than I would take being in a vehicle with John B currently.

"I'll see you soon JB and I'll be okay," I wander off out of the living room to find my belongings before reluctantly ending the ten-minute long phone call.

For a moment, I fell back into my own little world but this time it was racking through the endless amount of horrible things that are currently going on with JJ, and how almost all of them ended the same exact way they always had.

Downing more liquor.

The boy had a liver, I'd give him that but I worried about him and how much longer he could keep up with this before something more critical was to happen and there was nothing that anyone could do to fix it this time around.

He let himself drown every time.

[luvzxr]

Reblog if you write fanfic and would be totally down with your followers coming into you askbox and talking to you about your fic

[luvzxr]

oh the angst is great

hi can u do brother jj and reader is dating rafe, but rafe is toxic and abusive af. jj is confused why she is so distant and wears really baggy clothes cause of the bruises. then he forces her to raise her shirt and then he finds the bruises. ANGST ANGST ANGST PLSS u can add more stories and plot

I’ll fucking kill him

a/n: oh the angst! I love it

WARNINGS: Abusive relationship, bruises, incescurity, he does see some of see your stomach and chest but only so he can clean the bruises

For the past few months, the time you spent at the chateau lessened and the days you seemed upset had increased.

Every time someone asked you about it, you brushed it off, replying with a “I’m tired.” or “I’m okay.”

You began to wear long sleeved shirts, despite it being the middle of the summer and almost 100 degrees outside. Your shirts got baggier and your self esteem diminished.

JJ had missed your presence, whether he’d like to admit or not. His little sister was pulling away from him, and it was slowly destroying him inside. It was destroying you inside too, but JJ wouldn’t understand, you thought. He’d flip out if he even knew you were dating him.

Rafe was sweet at first, showering you with expensive gifts and his attention. But something in him snapped after about 5 months, he began angrier, more closed off and more stressed than ever. He treated you more like arm candy those days, like a cute little trophy he earned.

He got worse, despite your multiple attempts of trying to help him, he never accepted it. He got angry, each and every time.

The more angrier he got, the more aggressive he got, until eventually, he began to hit you.

You blamed it on the coke, knowing how he was when he was on it. That and his daddy issues.

You tried to rationalize it all, find excuses. He was going through a hard time, he was a troubled boy, he had no other outlet or way to take out his anger.

The bruises began forming, black and purple spots blossoming on your body, and you hid yourself more. Cropped shirts and tank tops were discarded, along with shorts.

You wore baggy clothing, long sleeved shirts and hoodies that almost reached your knees and pants that drowned out your body.

Whenever you did go back to the chateau, you could feel JJ’s confused and upset stares. He didn’t know what he did, he didn’t know what happened to make you so distant from everyone else.

He wished he’d noticed the signs, the baggy and long clothes, the way the circles under your eyes got deeper, and the way you hugged your body every time.

Every time he asked you if you were okay, the only response he got was an “I’m okay” before you were out of the chateau again.

He decided that he had to take some action, figure out what was going on if you wouldn’t tell him.

It was late at night when he snuck into your room, and despite it feeling wrong, he continued. He needed to figure it out. You were his little sister. It was his job to protect you, this was his way of doing it.

He rummaged through your drawers, through cabinets and everything else he could.

He was going through your drawer when he saw something peek out, a little white corner. He moved your clothes, picking it up.

Arnicare bruise cream.

Okay, that was odd. But, that could be for anything, right? Right? He thought, opening the bottle to find it almost completely empty. Okay, not so normal.

He did some more digging through that drawer, to find bottles of ibuprofen. His heart sunk at the possibilities, holding both the bruise cream and a bottle in his hands as he sat down in your bed.

He remembered himself doing the same thing when your guy’s dad would hit him, the long sleeves, the hiding ointments and pain killers.

He heard you walk into the chateau, but he was frozen, not moving even as you walked in, staring at him with widening eyes.

“JJ.” You spoke, stepping forward into your room. You shut the door behind you, and the both of you stared at each other before he spoke up.

“Why were you hiding this?” He asked you, voice eerily quiet. He held up the two objects in his hands, and you didn’t reply, just stood there and stared at the ground, fighting the tears that threatened to fall.

“Why are you even in my room?” You argued, still not looking at him.

“Because I’m worried about you! And this- this is why, because I knew something was going on. Y/n, tell me. Please, tell me why you have these.”

“I’m sorry.” You cried out, and his demeanor had changed. He stood up, wrapping his arms around you, letting you cry into his shoulder, tears staining his shoulders.

Your hands fisted his shirt, and he frowned, hands pulling you closer to him.

Once the sobbing died down, he sat you on the bed, his eyes going back on the ointment on the bed. He looked at you.

He gripped your arm, pulling up your sleeve to reveal blossoming spots of dark purple on your skin. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, you staring at the ground, avoiding his gaze.

“Who- who did this?” He asked you quietly. “Was it dad? Did you go back home?”

You shook your head, “It was…” you sniffled, shaking your head for a moment again. “It was Rafe. I’ve been- I’ve been dating him for months. But he was so sweet, JJ.” You let out a sob at the end, “You have to understand-“

“Rafe? Rafe did this to you?”

You nodded, him going to stand up before you pulled him back down.

“No, no!” You cried out, “please, don’t do anything. Don’t leave me alone.”

He hesitated, but nodded upon seeing your state. He sat back down next to you, his hands going to the cream next to you. He held it in his hands, and he spread it onto your arm, getting all the spots that began to form on that arm. He moved to your other one, before asking if you had any more.

You sighed, lifting your shirt up slightly, to reveal even more on your stomach and chest, scattered around. He clenched his jaw, anger bubbling in his chest at the thought of it.

He wordlessly began to smear it on those spots as well, and when he was finished, he put it onto your dresser, standing there for a moment.

“I’m sorry.” He heard you mutter out, him furrowing his eyebrows.

“It’s not your fault.”

“I’m sorry.” You repeated, him frowning, moving to wrap his arms around you again, pulling you into his chest as you began to cry again.

“He’s never gonna fucking touch you again, okay? You hear me?” He asked, you nodding against his body. “I swear, I’ll fucking kill him.

[luvzxr]

bitches be like "i love writing fanfiction" and then constantly second guess themselves because what if they're not good enough what if it's cringe what if no one likes it what if people laugh when they see it what if i mischaracterized someone what if i didn't tag it properly what if what if what if

[luvzxr]

❝I like to think it’s not so much how many years you get, but what you do with them. And JJ packed it in.❞

— John Booker Routledge

[luvzxr]

Little Pougie

Chapter 6

previous and next chapter.

I said yesterday I'd post chapter 6 as well but I got busy so I'm so sorry and we'll get into it right now.

Wattpad

Spotify

Summery; In which fem!reader is the little sister of John B Routledge. Sweet, gentle and innocent. The complete opposite of JJ Maybank but he finds himself falling for her and he stop himself from doing so.

Pairing; Fem!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count; 1,954

Warnings; Throughout this series there are talks of abuse, drug and alcohol use, trauma, talks of self doubt and wanting to be unalived. Possible smut in the future as well so read at your own risk!

06. Wallow

"Soo... you and Kie?"

"What about me and Kie?" JJ sighed. He was physically there- listening to every word his old pal Pope was saying but his mind was absent. He didn't necessarily want to talk on this subject.

He figured this matter was over with and he'd never be questioned again- yet here he was, having the same conversation he's had hundreds of times but never could shake.

If JJ was honest; it was starting to get repetitive to hear the same question being repeated by multiple individuals.

Pope had a good heart and his mind was in the right place about caring for JJ and his feelings, but sometimes that good heart of his was a major pain in the ass. And it was due to the simple fact that JJ didn't want to talk about it. He didn't have anything more to say about the matter. He knew he hurt the girl, of course- but what was there to do to fix it? What could he possibly do to make up for the fact he shattered her heart completely.

Pope leaned his back against the pillar behind him, crossing his arms over his chest, "you guys haven't talked in weeks man. What's the deal?"

"No deal. She's probably just hell-bent on the facts," JJ muttered, shrugging off the uncomfortable feeling he had rising in the pit of his stomach.

"Facts?" Pope scoffed, his voice only holding onto full seriousness, "she was into you and you just what? Threw that away?" His head dropped slightly, shaking faintly at the ground.

"Yes facts, Pope. And whose side are you on?" The blonde boy spat. His previous Sat position was now standing with his own arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm not picking sides man," Pope sighed, dropping his bold stance altogether, "I just don't understand how you could let that go,"

"Because Pope, I'm not good for her and you know it."

Not good for her

JJ wasn't good for anyone, not even himself. The thought of only clouding Kiara's head with his repulsive decisions only pushed him more to accept the fact he couldn't be with the girl. He wasn't going to kid himself and just hope for the best possible outcome because, In hindsight- the girl was way too good for a guy like himself. Her parents expect a better life for her and she started to destroy it the minute she hung around JJ and the rest of the Pouges, only she wasn't willing to admit that herself.

Kiara had a bright future ahead of her, much brighter than the rest of them and JJ couldn't sit back and watch her throw that away for herself just because she loved him. And he loved the girl, he couldn't deny that any longer than he already had but he loved her just enough to push her away- something he has always done when he knew someone was getting way too close for his liking.

He could feel the way his own friends looked at him; they looked at him like he wasn't a messed up kid who had something worth living up to, he just had to be patient and willing to do his part to get to see that.

The reality was— he didn't have a chance at a better life and he wasn't blind like the rest of them. He knew what his life looked like ten to twenty years down the road and it wasn't sipping on cocktails at midsummers with a nice family, a nice house, or even a nice car, that was just a dream he had.

No, JJ's reality was pinching wallets from the back pockets of Kooks. His reality was busting his ass at a middle-class job only to make roughly enough to keep himself off the streets. His reality was the bar down the road or the sketchy trailer parks he'd pull into just to get a good high. And then after all that— his ending would be a jail cell, facing time only he could blame himself for and no one else. That was his reality.

He despised the feeling of knowing he was disappointing the people he loved most but there was nothing he could do. At least nothing worth doing, that is.

There was no point, really- he was down a path where recovery wasn't an option, and even others around him weren't as stupid as they made themselves out to be to know that. This was inevitable. JJ made peace with that long ago.

"Man-"

"No, Pope. Shut up!" JJ barked. His lips pursed, desperate to talk about something other than the fact he potentially ruined a relationship he shouldn't have.

If it hadn't been for his friend currently visiting him, he'd probably already be downing the last bit of whiskey he had inside his home. He was stressing the fuck out, and he could tell he was by the sudden urge to get wasted in any possible way or get so high that he couldn't tell the difference between fiction and reality.

His father was the main source of everything JJ struggled with- everything.

Ever since JJ could remember- he never went a day without having some type of alcohol or drug in his system, and deep down he knew how poorly it was affecting him but just like any addict; he wasn't willing to stop because he had no one who cared enough, or he felt no one truly cared enough to do something.

Sure, Kiara openly expressed she cared about him but that was a girl who he couldn't let in, and she was also a person who just wouldn't get it. She wouldn't understand how he felt daily, how he woke up every morning in excruciating pain that wasn't only physical- but mental, as well. She wouldn't understand how his mind would run when he was going way too fast for his own good, and she most certainly wouldn't understand how to slow that down. No matter how hard she would try to find a solution, it was just useless.

No one could fix JJ because he wasn't fixable, which was something a lot of people thought would be the most effective. To fix him. Until ultimately, they figured out the hard truth.

The moments where JJ tore himself down were probably one of the hardest situations his friends had to witness.

They were so gut wrenchingly sad to have to stand by, knowing you had absolutely no control over the boy and there was nothing you could say to help him stop taking himself apart- piece by piece. He stripped himself of pride, confidence, and the personality traits that made him who he was.

It was like he couldn't hear you when you tried to comfort him. He rarely ever poured his heart out to anyone because he didn't wish for others to worry about him. He couldn't handle the simple fact that he had people in his life who truly cared about him because that meant facing the truth that he was needed around, and that was something he prayed to never happen. He wanted to someday just up and disappear without a second thought- completely leave the lives of his loved ones because he felt that would be the best option in the future.

It was also hard on JJ- for he couldn't bare the sight of his friends with such pained faces for him, which is why he'd usually take off before any of them could say anything more to him.

"JJ, are you okay man?"

He didn't know why but the hesitant sound coming from Pope made him almost jump out of his own skin.

He was in his own head, something he'd do quite often.

He tried to pull himself out- needing nothing but to focus on something else but it was as if he was trapped inside his own head and was forbidden to leave. On days like these JJ could only hope that the stupid bike stunts he'd pull in the ultimately most dangerous ways would eventually take him.

"JJ!-"

"What?" JJ snapped.

"You can't keep punishing yourself, JJ," Pope continued, his tone of voice changing ever so slightly, "You'll eventually have to let someone in,"

This was a territory that Pope had to be cautious when speaking about, for this was JJ's emotions that not a lot of people came across when they encountered JJ, no matter how long they've known him. The emotions he tried so hard to suppress but each time coming up empty handed.

"So they can take whatever I have left of me and break it?" he sounded pained. He could only vividly remember memories of the days he truly did try; the way he voluntarily put all he had on the table, the way he tried to make things work so many times, and the way nobody could handle just how broken he was. He tried so damn hard to fill that void, that empty space inside of him that screamed to have a purpose. He couldn't handle that, he couldn't just start over again. It would kill him this time.

Pope had no words. The guy was completely speechless.

He could see now, why JJ felt the need to push Kiara away. After putting the most amount of effort into a person, only to come to terms with the fact that it hadn't worked out so many times in the past and wondering if this time would be any different or would end up like every other failed attempt.

"Come on," Pope stood up, grabbing onto JJ's attention immediately.

"Huh?"

"Come on man," Pope repeated, grabbing hold of JJ's wrist and tugging him.

"Where the hell are w-"

"I'm giving you a good time,"

"The fuck you mean goo-"

"We're going to John B's and have a guy's night," Pope interrupted, sounding very proud of himself for being the one to think of it.

"His sister is with Sarah and Kie tonight so the place is chick free. It's a hell of a lot better than leaving you to wallow in your thoughts,"

"I don't wallow in my thoughts," JJ retaliated.

"Yes. Yes you do,"

JJ ultimately couldn't believe what he was hearing. Pope wanted to have a guy's night. A guy's night right after JJ poured out the most depressing side of his life and Pope wanted to have a guy's night.

Not to mention the man practically called him out for being the depressed fuck he was, which would of rewarded him a smack on the back of Pope's head if he hadn't taken started dragging JJ along like a dog on a leash.

JJ wanted to hit him. The man's solution to all of his problems was having a slumber party at John B's. Maybe 'hitting' him wasn't quite enough, for drowning sounded more appeasing to him at the very moment.

'Unfuckingblieveable.' He thought.

The guy was practically dragging JJ through the newly cut lawn and he swore the man was dead until his friend cleared his throat and said, "You need something to get your mind off... well, your mind," That JJ decided he wasn't going to kill him, yet. Because Pope was right, down to a tee; He really did need something to do other than think. It was one of the only few things JJ found the most trouble in getting, for he was the type of person to dwell and rake through a problem for a very long time.

"Hey, wait up man!" JJ tugged on his own arm, relieved when Pope stopped in his tracks and gave his arm a break, "You said Little Pouge wasn't gonna be there?"

"Nah, she's having her own girl's day with Sarah and Kie. Something about bonding. They wanna try to get (Y/n) to be a bit more social."

[luvzxr]

i’ll just leave this here (i’m going insane)

[luvzxr]

Little Pougie

Chapter 5

previous, next chapters.

So I'm going to go ahead and repost because I kinda fucked up my last part of the story and I don't want people to miss it and have all the chapters messed up for them because that's just not fun. HOWEVER, I will post chapter 6 today as well just to catch up.

If you'd like to read ahead you may. My wattpad will be linked here from now on!

Also, when I started this story on wattpad I did make a spotify playlist as well which is public so it will be linked as well if you are the type of person to listen to music while you read!

Summery; In which fem!reader is the little sister to John B Routledge. Sweet, gentle and innocent. The complete opposite to JJ Maybank but he finds himself falling for her and he can't stop himself doing so.

Pairing; Fem!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count; 3,290

Warnings; Throughout this series there are talks of abuse, drug and alcohol use, trauma, talks of self doubt and wanting to be unalived. Possible smut in the future as well so read at your own risk!

05. Teach Me

(Y/n) was kinda in the mood for death right about now.

Actually no, she didn't necessarily mind the situation she found herself in but she would much rather be at home. She wanted to be curled up next to their busted up AC, book in hand and pure joy with the silence of being the only one home for a few hours.

She didn't want to be here because it was too hot to be here. Sweating, grossing with the slight uncomfortable feeling of sand between each of her toes. Her brother and his friends would consider this a dream come true. (Y/n), however, did not.

It wasn't like (Y/n) hated being out and about to bask in the sun but when it was in the high 90's with little to no wind to cool off, she certainly had a word that came close to hate.

"Yknow, you'd cool off in the water (Y/n/n)," John B hinted, finger extending lazily towards the crashing waves in front of them while he took a seat next to her, "trust me. You'll thank me later,"

They were at the beach. One of the popular surf spots around their town.

The boy surprisingly didn't have to convince her very long to come with, (Y/n) just openly decided to for once to not put up a fight and go out. However, she suddenly wished she had put up a fight because she was highly regretting her decisions now.

"Shut up JB," (Y/n) grumbled, a small eye roll in the process, "you didn't tell me it was suppose to be almost 100,"

"Best day to go surfing!"

(Y/n) wanted to reach over and deck her own brother in the face but that would be mean and she was trying to have a good day with everyone. No need to start with physically assaulting her own sibling. "I hate you,"

"No you don't,"

"Pretty sure I do,"

"You'll get over it," John B snickered, shoulder nudging her own in a playful manner.

(Y/n)'s head shook, suppressing a smile because if her brother saw he'd know he had at least manage to make her smile and she didn't want him to know that.

"You should really just come to hang out with everyone," John B suggested, standing to his feet.

(Y/n) wasn't the type to be very talkative regardless of who it was and she kind of wanted to decline his offer but being a complete and utter introvert to the people John B called family just seemed rude.

Of course she's talked to all of them and even considered herself close with Sarah and Kie but that doesn't take away from the fact that she most of the time preferred to be alone or with her brother and JJ because she felt the most comfortable with the two.

She took a few more seconds to decide before utterly coming to a conclusion. "Okay, I'll come over."

"Great!" John B grinned, making his way towards the group closer towards the water.

(Y/n) pushed herself up using her palms that laid out in the gentle sand, standing to her feet before cautiously following behind her older sibling.

The rest of the Pouges were huddled around one another, staring out towards the crashing waves while passing around a lit blunt and beers in hand.

Sarah actually tried to be close Sophie and it wasn't just because she was dating her older brother. Sarah knew that (Y/n) seemed to have the urge to meet people and make friends but it just seemed like she struggled a bit to do so. Her social anxiety was pretty rough on her at times.

Sarah just wanted to try to help (Y/n) get into the habit of feeling confident in herself and her actions and (Y/n) appreciated the blonde girl more than she was willing to let on.

Watching John B find something to urn for other than the past was a big moment even if Sarah didn't see that quite yet.

(Y/n) could and it was a big deal to her.

(Y/n) remembered a time where Kiara and Sarah couldn't even be left in a room together because everyone thought one of em might end up dead if it happened which was funny to look back on now because they were so close. 

The little scheme that John B and the two other boys pulled works back then and now the two girls seemed to be inseparable.

 "(Y/n)!"

"Hey (Y/n/n)!"

"What's up (Y/n/n)!"

Sarah, Kie and Pope all managed to sync together, attention now on the younger girl who revealed herself behind John B. It wasn't too often she joined in on their shenanigans much less join on her own accord most times but regardless, they tried to include her and make her feel welcomed.

It wasn't that (Y/n) didn't like his friends because if she was honest, they felt like her own flesh and blood too— even if they weren't— No, she just found herself not being able to speak half the time or when she did, all she ended up doing was stuttering and stumbling over her own words just as she does her own feet and it was embarrassing enough when it came to being a genuine klutz.

So most times she tried to keep the clumsiness to a minimum because the less there was, the less moments she had to cringe about remembering how it could of all went so much more smoother if she hadn't done this or that.

"Hi guys," (Y/n)'s hand raised up gently to wave with a small, cheeky smile.

She was hesitant to join the circle because it just usually wasn't her thing but John B was quick to react when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gently pulled her in.

"C'mon Pougie."

Once the girl adjusted to her standing position she took notice that rugged blonde was no where in sight which was odd because there is no way in hell that man would miss out on the excuse to sit around in a circle with his closest friends and smoke some weed or drink a beer.

She had expected him to be the one who had even lit the blunt or even instantly getting everyone into the spirit for this, in fact, was a beach day and most of the time that meant nothing was off limits.

"Where's JJ?" (Y/n) questioned, glancing around one last time to make sure her own eyes weren't playing tricks on her.

Pope's head jerked a bit out towards the water, "out there."

Her eyes scanned the shimmering crystal water until they landed on the dirty blonde. He sat afloat on his old foam surfboard that currently was only idle. He was waiting— but it seemed that he previously already was engulfed by the water because he was already drenched from head to toe.

His body synced so well with the movement of the waves and the way they jerked and pulled around him. He made it look so easy to just sit and float upon water that was just waiting to pour right over top of him and take him right off that board.

However, that just wasn't JJ. That wouldn't happen.

(Y/n) couldn't even imagine herself out there even though the girl practically lived off the water and watched her brother over the years surf she just could never get the hang of it.

John B did try to teach her how. He went through all the basics, he showed her the stances she needed to take and even the precautions when the whole thing went south but she just never got the hang of it. He was too nervous to even let her out on the water because he was terrified something might go wrong.

He had every right to be nervous too because even on land (Y/n) had a hard time keeping her balance on the board, even in sand. Her form often made him worrisome because all it took was one inexperienced surfer and one wave that could take her out and drag her under.

He was too scared to take that chance with her.

He felt bad but eventually he tried to find ways to cancel plans to teach her because his anxiety was just too damn high. He truly felt like a parent who tried to teach their kid how to ride a bike for the first time.

Only this one required more caution and he couldn't be with her on that board if something went wrong.

"What's he doing?" Her eyes never left the man out on the water. She kept track of him even when the waves seemed to cover him from afar.

"He's waiting for the perfect wave," John B spoke, his eyes also trained on the male out on the water. His arm still strung around (Y/n)'s shoulder and his other wrapped around Sarah's waist, holding her close.

(Y/n) recalled that wording before, back when John B was trying to teach her how to surf. Perfect waves often meant the water was smooth, almost glassy and the waves weren't folding in different directions. In Sophie's mind it was hard to tell the difference but then again, she didn't get much of a chance to learn that far ahead.

As her eyes trained on JJ they also began to glance out further where they locked onto movement.

A large wave was approaching. And fast.

"Wait.. like that one?" She pointed out, navigating for her brother of what she saw but he'd already seen it.

His head bobbed slightly, "Yup. That's the one."

It was pretty easy for John B to notice the perfect waves because he'd been surfing for as long as he could remember. It was like second nature for him to just know what the right ones were and when to abort if they were too dangerous to take on.

Most of the time though, JJ took them on anyway and John B often wondered how the man himself wasn't dead yet.

(Y/n) watched intently from the shore, eyes glued on the Maybank boy as his body seemed almost relaxed and slowly laid across the board stomach down. His arms began to paddle himself towards the oncoming monster of a wave and Sophie could feel her own heart drop at the sight.

She knew how reckless the boy was and how he often took risks he probably shouldn't being taking in the first place. She hated the fact he'd do it too but everyone else seemed to always have faith he'd come back alive. Even though most had to use that as a mask to hide their own worries and fears for the boy because JJ hated the fact his friends would show worry for him.

JJ seen worry or fear as pity and he couldn't stand it. Seeing that emotion on their face only seemed to irritate him because they had better things to worry about or fear than losing him.

At least that's how he felt.

(Y/n) is the only one out of everyone that the boy ever truly let show that emotion towards him. Not because she was John B's little sister because that excuse expired a long time ago. Where she began to grow up and realize that not everything was rainbows and unicorns and that eventually— when you least expect it— things turn to shit and you are challenged on if you can survive what's thrown at you or you drown trying.

No, that most definitely wasn't it. (Y/n) was just the person who cared for people and their welling being. She liked to be helpful and caring where she could and even if she couldn't, she still found the perfect little ways of being there for the ones who needed her the most.

She was like a piece of gold but she was way more valuable than the real thing and worth more than anyone could ever offer to her.

JJ valued her, even if he didn't show it all that much but he'd slowly became her protector more than her own brother was suppose to be. And he had to admit that he use to hate it.

He hated the idea of it. He use to hate the fact that he made that promise to John B years ago and wished he'd never spoke those two sacred words to him because then maybe he wouldn't have to be looked at like he was some knight in shining armor. That's not who JJ was, he wasn't some rescue pup for some girl who he use to find aggravating and how he wished he could just clamp his palm over her mouth and she'd magically shut up.

But things change and so do people.

So as (Y/n) watched his board inch closer and closer towards the waves she could feel her heart beat almost as fast and all she could do is watch and pray that the stupid blonde wouldn't get dragged under and never come back up.

Her eyes followed his every movement. The way his body jumped up from his laying position as he was almost face to face with the waves. She watched how his body twisted and turned all while keeping his balance, how he gliding across the water with ease and instead of being worried anymore she found herself mesmerized.

(Y/n) took into account how he'd done this his entire life and how he mastered every movement and stance throughout the years up until this point. JJ was just a natural when it came to surfing and he knew he was damned good at it too because when he came off that water and was looking back at the group while he took his seat back on the board, there was nothing on his face but a shit eating smirk.

He really was the best surfer that John B knew and also would never admit to JJ's face because he had enough ego as it is.

"Let's go JayJ!"

"Yeah JJ!"

The whooping and hollering could be heard all throughout the beach from the small group calling out to their friend who was making his way off the water. His entire being glistening as he walked up towards the shore where everyone was.

John B finally let go of his two favorite girls, walking over to slap hands with JJ and pull him in for a short but sweet chest hug. All while a smile was spread across both of their faces. JJ's full of confidence.

"That was fucking amazing JJ," John B beamed, his excited tone could be heard from miles if it hadn't been already. He may never admit to JJ himself that he was an extraordinary surfer but he'd pay respect where it was due. And this was one of those times that it certainly was.

The blonde couldn't hide his ego even if he tried the hardest to do so, it just would be no use. He was pretty surprised himself because deep down he even had doubts.

Of course, he would never show it but he honestly felt like that wave would of knocked his ass right off that board and he'd come up from the water a tad bit embarrassed. However that just couldn't happen to JJ, he wouldn't allow it till the day he dies.

Which is ironic considering the boy often face plants when they were in a haste to get somewhere. Just a small quirk of his.

"That was really good JJ," her voice was heavenly and gentle which caught his attention almost immediately.

"Oh, Pougie came to watch me? I'm flattered," he teased, laying his board down in the sand and beginning to make his way over towards Sophie. His hand place atop her head to ruffle up her hair a bit.

She gently swatted at his hand and gave a well deserved roll of her eyes, "shut up. I'm serious Jay. That was really good."

"Listen to her man, she doesn't even compliment my surfing," John B chimes in, a small but playful pout was across his lips. Sometimes her own brother made her want to slap him just for being her own flesh and blood.

(Y/n) shook her head, already fed up with her own sibling at this current time but tilted her head up towards JJ again, "can you reach me?"

His eyebrows furrowed and his glance back to John B made the nerves in (Y/n)'s stomach turn because she already knew how they'd react to the question but she wanted to try again.

"I don't know Princess.. That'd be up to your brother on if he'd let me or not," his unsure tone stood firm, making it known that it wasn't up to him but up to John B. He knew how John B felt about (Y/n) and surfing and even though it truly broke the man's heart because they grew up on the water, he felt it was safer that she'd stay clear of the sport all together.

"John B, I'm not a kid anymore. I wanna learn and I'm tired of being babied," she sighed and pouted a tad which was hard not to see a child in (Y/n) when she'd do things like that.

John B contemplated a moment, trying to decide between his gut and the fact his own sister had a point of always being babied but it was just because he cared. His lips pursed into a frown the longer he took to answer her.

"You promise me you listen to him? What he says, goes. Okay?" He cracked.

He could feel his own heart rip in two because part of him felt he needed to start giving her opportunities because eventually she'd act like he had as a teen, even though he still was one himself. She'd grow too curious and eventually do things behind his back which he knew he wouldn't be able to handle. He didn't want (Y/n) growing into that.

The other part however, was the unknowing fear he felt deep inside. The type of fear that made your stomach twist and turn even at the thoughts or images of what could happen. He'd felt like the parent ever since (Y/n) was born and he always had the parental intent because somehow— deep down, he knew she would be the only family he had left.

(Y/n) nodded in agreement and trying to also hold back a smile with a little dance of victory but eventually that façade cracked and a little smile shown across her plush lips.

"Pinky promise me Pougie,"

Pinky promises was something the siblings had done to show the seriousness of their matters. To them, it showed trust and understanding but often times never came out unless it was something that needed to be taken more serious than other situations.

And to John B, this was as serious as serious came. He needed to know that his baby sister would be okay and leave learning without a scratch on her. That he wouldn't have to worry like a sick parent about her when it came to learning from his own best friend.

His pinky extended out, lingering and waiting for her much smaller one to wrap around and interlock.

"Pinky promise." She spoke, her pinky interlocking with his and with that he pulled her into a tight hug. His chin laid on the top of her head with his arms wrapped tight around her.

"Then he can teach you."

After the heart felt moment between the two, John B let go of (Y/n) and shifted himself towards JJ, "take care of her man. I need you to,"

"Don't worry bro. Pougie will be safe with me. As long as I'm around, nothing will happen to that girl."