lycheedesk

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My life has been so much better ever since I traded my impostor syndrome to brilliant conman -syndrome. Do I deserve anything in life? Fuck no! Will I grasp it anyway? Fuck yes!

 My art has never been worth shit, but watch me bullshit my way into art school! I am a horrid goblin, but watch me make these people like me! Am I qualified to do this task? Well I sure have the certificates that say that I am! And how did I get those? Who knows! Not me! I am so good at cheating, I don’t have to break a single rule to do it!

 I am brilliant, fast, and absolutely drunk with power!

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Hey actors playing cops on tv if you recognize youre playing into a system that glorifies cops and lets real cops get away with racialized and class-based violence then consider also quitting your jobs? You dont have to continue playing in that system. You can find other roles

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BLM - Why I’m Hurting

This is quite a personal post and i probably can’t talk for all Black people when I say this but for the sake of this prose I will be referring to certain aspects of my experience as being Black experience solely because these are things that are uniquely because of my experience as a Black person specifically (though I’m sure there are many other’s who may relate, this is just me writing for the need of emotional release). Also I am Black and British, I am not African American.

I have been incredibly emotionally impacted by the last week or so. I’m coming to terms with what I’m so affected by though. I don’t think what I’m so sad about is specifically the violence against Black people. This happens all the time so there is no way to justify that being the main cause of my distress. I personally have a childhood friend who was murdered by a London Met police officer only a few years ago and still I don’t think I was so emotionally affected then as I am now. 

I think it’s because in moments like this, anti-blackness and the black experience seems to become up for debate and discussion for people who are simply not affected. Every non-black and their mother seems to have an opinion on Black Lives Matter. It’s dehumanising and un-dignifying that so many communities have such dissonance when it comes to anti-blackness that it ends up being a debate topic in white dominated classrooms or a social media trend that allows people to perform their solidarity. 

Of course, I’d much rather people voice their support than stay silent, but seeing a drastic change in every one’s posting still has an emotional impact. This paradigm of fear and outrage and performative politeness in white spaces that we are raised into for our own protection becomes a cute pastel print for someone’s instagram stories. I see people who have previously silenced me and refused to listen now wear my black trauma like a badge of “wokeness” on their child labour made lapels. I can’t tell who really gives a fuck and who just doesn’t want to face backlash. 

I guess that also previously I have been at home with my mum or been able to be around other black friends and family to heal but i currently live and am isolating with my Chinese partner and as supportive as they are, I think what I really need is to feel understood. I need a hug from my mum.

Please just remember that you’re only anti-racist if you can accept that you don’t know everything and that you always have more to understand. Listen to people who criticise you rather than being defensive and playing victim. This is so much more than Black lives being lost. The ones of us alive are still trapped in this god forsaken system. 

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rules: go on pinterest and type in ‘[your name] core aesthetic’ and make a moodboard!

hello i was tagged by @55studies like weeks ago omg, thank u tho this was cute n fun and a nice way to focus on something other than my black trauma for a bit

i don’t rlly have anyone to tag bc ive been so inactive but would just like to take a minute to encourage anyone who sees this to reflect on the fact that what’s going on right now isn’t just images in the news. im black british and so you’d think i might not be affected but i have been in so much pain, baring so much stress that it has impacted my physically. this is not just a tragic even for the people involved. anti-blackness is global. thank you

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Kanji word chain

The words:

従容 (しょうよう) - calm, composed

容疑 (ようぎ) - suspicion, charge

疑問 (ぎもん) - doubt

問題 (もんだい) - question

題材 (だいざい) - subject

材料 (ざいりょう) - ingredients

料理 (りょうり) - cooking

理解 (りかい) - understanding, comprehension

解禁 (かいきん) - lifting of a ban

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Would you like to continue the game? Feel free to add words before or after the series and I’ll continue with more words if I can..

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Here’s a 2020 edition of that coffee post — it seems that no matter what I am still all about iced coffee (with oat milk) when I’m writing on hot summer days 

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monday, may 18 2020;

day ?/? of quarantine is accompanied by homemade iced vanialla chai latte and another finished book ft. soft wireless candles

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Uses of たら summary

Conditions: 雨が降ったら、私は家にいます。if it rains, I will stay home. –Less formal than ば but otherwise very similar

Sequences of events (comparison with てから) –Can be used in past, present, or future—overlaps with the conditional たらwhen used in present or future sentences 押したらその戸はあいた。When I pushed on the door, it opened. –Used when second action in volitional, unlike と –Not as much emphasis on the order of events compared to てから –The first event must be completed before the second event starts, unlike とき

Hypothetical wishes ベスが今ここにいたらな。I wish Beth were here with me now. –なら and ば can be used similarly

Possible courses of action 何て言ったらいいのかなあ。How shall I say this? –Similar to ば –Follow with どう(ですか?) to suggest (similar to ば) –Follow with どうする?/どうなる? To ask “what would you do/what would happen?” (similar to ば) –Follow with だめ, いけはい, etc. to forbid an action in a positive sentence (no “not/no”) (use なければ for negative sentences, すると and しないと for either)

Hopes about the future また集まれたらいいですね。I hope we can get together again –Similar to と

Bonus: In casual situations, it can be used to express exasperation (after someone’s name like an honorific), similar to ってば！

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My Patreon

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宗教　しゅうきょう　religion

一神教　いっしんきょう　monotheism

多神教　たしんきょう　polytheism

祭る　まつる　to deify, to enshrine

神話　しんわ　myth, legend

信仰　しんこう　(religious) faith

信者　しんじゃ　believer, follower

キリスト教  キリストきょう　Christianity

教会　きょうかい　church, congregation

不幸　ふこう　unhappiness, bad luck

幸福　こうふく　happiness

願う　ねがう　to hope

祈る　いのる　to pray

神々　かみがみ　gods

お参り　おまいり　visit (to a shrine, a grave) (にお参りする）

お墓参りに行く　おはかまいりにいく　to visit a person’s grave

仏教　ぶっきょう　Buddhism

お寺　おてら　Buddhist temple

仏様　ぶとけさま　Buddha

仏壇　ぶつだん　family Buddhist altar

神道　しんとう　Shinto, Shintoism

神社　じんじゃ　Shinto shrine 

神様　かみさま　God

神頼み　かみだのみ　praying to God for help　

神棚　かみだな　Shinto household shrine

お守り　おまもり　good-luck charm

お札、神札　おふだ、しんさつ　talisman issued from a Shinto shrine

鳥居　とりい　Shinto shrine archway

Here’s an お守り my friend got me when she went home over winter break! I keep it on my pencil case:)

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i found some japanese raws for my favourite manga (which is almost entirely in kansai-ben) so i can’t wait to get back into reading and learning again:) 

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i think ill start a little collection of recipes for reference her focussing on quick cheap and portable/freezable meals

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A new post about how Japanese is used in comics. I had such a bad time with this comic that I finally went back to making posts on my WordPress.

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i’m really trying to hard to finish this essay today. it due on sunday but i have two more also due on sunday that need to be done so uhhhhh. really shouldn’t have taken a break to make brownies basically.

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oh wow tumblr has changed man dark mode is so good

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I’m Back

 i’ve been absent for so so long but i’m probably doing the best in terms of studying that I even have! I think i’ll make a knew intro post or smth since it’s been so long but yeah! 

 i’ve recently found out that my SPLD is likely ADHD which i would never have guessed bc of my preconceptions abt it but having understood it better it actually makes so much sense! because of the current state of things all my appointments have been put on hold until further notice, but now that i can look to a specific community for help and to understand why i am the way i am has already helped me so much. i feel so refreshed and so much more excited and motived to work through my issues. 

for context ive been given provisions for a non specific learning difference such as extra time in exams but not much other focus was ever given to why i was struggling so this has been a long time coming.

anyway, i’m back i think! i really want to make more posts about my diagnosis process/ tracking my progress and successes with studies. 

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This isn’t just advice for uni students, but for anybody, I’ve just decided to tackle us uni students in general, because our days are not as structured anymore and with our lectures here at 11AM on one day and at 3PM on the other, it’s very hard to keep each and every day the same. Generally, though, this can be used for anybody who’s looking for some structure in their life.

 Why?

Because it gives you an idea of what you are spending your time on. With a solid and good schedule, there should be less time for procrastination. Besides that, a sense of control gives many people comfort, especially people who struggle mentally.

Where to start:

Write down your schedule. Work, weekly appointments, lectures, classes. All those things that are ‘set in stone’ and that you cannot control. This is going to be the base you build around. I suggest making a table, preferably on a piece of paper (you can transfer it into a digital version when you’re done and have everything figured out) with all days of the week and hours. I personally used 7AM – 11PM.

Set your wake up and bed times. The most important ones. You should make these all the same. Maybe give yourself an extra hour of a lie in on Saturday and Sunday, but you should try and not confuse your biological clock too much. Soon, it will become easier to get up early. Also make sure you are getting enough hours of sleep. As a young adult of around 20, you should be getting 6-9 hours of sleep. If you are younger, it should be more than that.

Write up your daily tasks that you would like to perform every day. Make sure you include all those things you keep forgetting, self-care items, daily reading, journal writing, studying, etc. Be realistic, however. Start out small with just a few things, don’t overwhelm yourself and later, you can start adding more items.

Then do the same for weekly tasks. These include doing readings for particular classes, clean ups, exercise, meet-ups, etc.

Don’t forget meals! Especially if you are busy, make sure there is room for food in your plan! Make sure that if you have an especially full day the next day, think of some time to prepare the food the night before. Planning out your meals may also make you think about what you eat more. (Also, I can write something about nutrition on request!)

Don’t forget free time either. Free time is important and a free day is something you could benefit from. Whether it is resting or catching up on your studies or time for arts and crafts.

Now play a nice game of Tetris and assign a time slot to each of those activities. Don’t forget to just leave some time off. Whether that’s for finishing a task, being lazy or just anything. Use your routine to give your life a structure, not govern  it completely.

How to implement these and make sure they work?

There are for sure going to be some you struggle with. Set phone alarms. Set them for every five minutes. Set them until they annoy you. Until it’s so annoying it makes you do the task you don’t want to do.

I followed these steps to make my own routine for my new semester and I had something similar, but not as elaborate last semester. The one for this semester isn’t done yet since I still need one additional module and my fixed working times. But after that, I may post my routine on here and then some follow ups as well, just to see how well it’s going. Same goes for you, tag me (ravenclawhard) if you are going to use these tips. I’d love to know!