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I’ve been on my knees since I was 5.

In the chapel,

in a bedroom,

in an alley late at night.

Always facing an inflated

godlike

version of some guy.

But as a girl you do what you need to survive.

You open wider, take the body.

Thank your father, you’ve been naughty.

2 Hail Marys, 20 lashings.

“I’ve been sent to punish you for daring to exist.

You will never know a love as meaningful as this.”

I’ve memorized

the lines

since I was 10.

From the Bible,

from the playbook,

from the magazines for men.

If you should mess it up, you’ll start again.

But, still, they only want

the women

they condemn.

I think that I’d have too much fun in hell.

With the pagans

and the hedonists

and sapphics there as well.

Purgatory seems the better fit

I can’t stand waiting in the corner,

but I do love being hit.

There’s not a torture you can prescribe

that I wouldn’t find

a way to like.

Every single second I’m alive

I’m sharpening an axe I’d like to grind.

“I was sent to punish you

for the way I was designed.

You will never know a love

that you fear more than mine.”

- “God Fear a Woman” 2023

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Writer’s problem:

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REBLOG IF THIS RELATES TO YOU:

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THISSSSSS 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼

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I want to write a Dean x plus-size!reader fic where Dean is reading All of the Feels by Olivia Dade and realizes that he is like Alex, the main character, and wants to role play the fanfic written by Alex in the book with the reader!!!!!

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It's 2023, and I still can't believe that I'm getting angry at Rob Thomas for doing Jason Dohring dirty once again. Chase Graves deserved better.

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Talk some sense to me.

Prompt: Y/N confessed to JJ that she always been in love with Spencer but he never noticed her, too busy focusing on someone else. During a case, they are all held as hostages and JJ confesses her love for him.

Warning: a lot of fluff, mention of depression and anxiety, angst, mention of blood, kidnapping, mention of violence

Words: 19.5k

But I don’t want to imagine

Words you spoke to her that night

Naked bodies look like porcelain

You both knew I’d be bleeding inside

“I’ve always loved you. And I was just too scared to say it before.” Y/N looks outside of the window, her mug filled with green tea sitting between her hands as the slow melody of Moonlight sonata plays through her ear from her airpods. But those words are not leaving her mind, haunting her thoughts and destroying her heart each second. She doesn’t have the courage to look at her colleague because she knows she’d find her between his arms, cuddling up against his body with her eyes closed and his face pressed on her neck. It’s a sight that is going to kill her once and for all, but Y/N is not ready. No, she has to process everything that happened a few hours before her and the team got back on the jet to go back to Quantico. Y/N, JJ and Spencer were kidnapped by the unsub they were looking for; they had their hands and feet tied, no guns and no knives around to help them to get out. The unknown subjects, excited by secrets, forced them to share a deep dark secret to him as their last words and JJ was the first one to go, saying those words that Y/N never thought they could escape from her perfectly shaped lips. “I’ve always loved you.” Y/N didn’t have the courage to look at Spencer because she knew he would’ve had tears in his eyes and his usual adorable smile on his lips, finally realizing that the woman he has always loved, loved him back. And Y/N was just caught in the crossfire, getting hurt by both her colleagues – and her best friend, the same person who Y/N poured her heart to when she felt like nothing could help her getting through – and the man she has always been in love with, Doctor Reid. When the rest of the team barged into the shop and set free the three hostages, Y/N sat completely around outside. Spencer didn’t even go to her, he immediately wrapped his arms around JJ and forgot about the rest of the world. But Y/N was expecting that. Of course she was. Spencer found out that the woman he longed for was in love with him, so who the Hell cares about the other woman with a broken heart right outside? The same woman that has always been by his side through everything that happened to him? The same woman who held his hand when Gideon died, when his mother got kidnapped by Cat, when he thought he was going crazy because of the voices and the migraines? The same woman that got his favourite records, even though she spent all of her money on it, and did it just to make him happy? The same woman who threw him a surprise party, only for him to think JJ was the one who organized everything? But Y/N knows that part of her pain is self-inflicted. She never said anything to Spencer, she never opened up to him about her feelings. She didn’t think it’d matter because he has never looked at her the way he did with JJ. He looked at Y/N as if she was his sister. He looked at JJ as if she was his most precious possession. The same way Y/N usually looks at him, as if he’s her soulmate, her only reason to exist.

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