lyssatarlov - Tumblr blog

[lyssatarlov]

but im a crepe…. im some weird dough….

[lyssatarlov]

suicide squad won for best makeup

this

just won an academy award

[lyssatarlov]

Some useful idioms you should know before you go to Italy

When in Florence: make sure to add maremma maiala whenever you ask for things in shops or bars. Locals appreciate it and they might give you a discount as well. For example: “How much are these leather shoes, maremma maiala?” or “Can I have two espressi, maremma maiala?” 

When in Milan: make sure to say pirla every time you thank people. For example, they say “For the Duomo, you need to go left and then right” and you reply “Thank you, pirla.”

When in Naples: the word (e’) kitemmuort has the same function as “maremma maiala.” Neapolitans are really friendly and they might give you twice the discount you normally get in Florence. Example: “Two pizze margherite, e’ kitemmuort!”

When in Venice: when on public transport they ask you for the ticket, you should always say va in mona after showing your ticket to the officer. It’s sign of courtesy in Venice. Example: “May I see your ticket, sir?” and you reply “Here it is, va in mona.”

When in Rome: the word mortacci tua has the same function as “pirla” but it comes before the “thank you.” For example, they say “For the Colosseum take the metro B” and you reply “Mortacci tua, thank you!”

[lyssatarlov]

Horror movie trailer editors struggling to find a children’s nursery rhyme that already hasn’t been used for a different horror movie trailer

[lyssatarlov]

i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me

[lyssatarlov]

my utensils: ready

me: in art class

my dick: out

[lyssatarlov]

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

[lyssatarlov]

[lyssatarlov]

[lyssatarlov]

I ain’t sorry. No, no, hell nah. 

[lyssatarlov]

[lyssatarlov]

“When I started as an actor, no one knew what to do with me. I was usually maybe about 6 inches to a foot taller than most of the actors, so I couldn’t play the girlfriend, I couldn’t play the wife, I was a little too overwhelming to be the best friend, they didn’t want me next to the lead because I was usually a foot taller than the lead… And then, God bless him, Rob Tapert, who created Xena and the Hercules franchises said, ‘I know exactly what to do with you! I’m gonna give you a sword! I’m gonna make you as scary as everybody thinks you are!’” - Gina Torres

[lyssatarlov]

[lyssatarlov]

[lyssatarlov]

me: *adds Duolingo badge that says i am 2% fluent in a language to my LinkedIn profile* job interviewer: excellent. that is exactly what we needed , someone who can say “the boy” and “hello” in Hungarian . youre hired

[lyssatarlov]