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m-dubita-beale-blog · 5 years

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So i got this Neighbor.......

So today i get home a little earlier than usual and its already been pretty chill in that boring sort of day that you're okay with....you know what i mean? its Wednesday and you follow your regular scheduled programming: wait till the last minute to get out of bed, shower, brush teeth, get dressed, leave to either school or work, then come back home but it just wasn't as stressful as usual? whatever I’m just setting the narrative i raid the fridge and it was lacking and i didn't feel like so I’m like what the hell, lets order a pizza. Its only maybe 5:00pm, i walk out on to my front porch to get some fresh air and I’m like man the weather is nice, the Warriors game doesn’t come on till 6(playing the Utah Jazz, Curry’s pregame dribble drill/rituals are fucking crazy), pull out my wax pen and breath in this “OG white fire”. Maybe three long drags later I’m really feelin it birds chirping, that breeze, and i don’t know if this happens to anyone else but when i get high music just starts playing in my head and i just start to appreciating regular simple things a lot more like people walking by with nice looking dogs or your neighbor looking so happy to wash his car for no reason at all as if cleaning your vehicle is the most exciting thing in the world.

So his name is “Denny”(yes like the Diner) and i kinda lock on to him trying to literally wax this black car until he can see himself and then the pizza guy suddenly grabs my attention braking the trance. So i take the pie inside and my high ass picks up a slice and starts thinking “I should go say hello” and normally if I’m already home ill rarely leave again so ill blame the weed but i was suddenly motivated to see how my neighbor was doing. I walk down the porch stairs, taking another hit and walk two houses over then say “Whats up? saw you washing your car thought I’d say hello and see how your doing”, shake hands, give some Dap, you know. He laughs and notices I’m high then cracks a joke about why i didn’t bring him any pizza , of course i offer some neighborly hospitality to bring him some but he assures me that his wife made chicken last night and he wants to finish it. He’s putting away all the towels he used to dry/wax his car then sits in this chair inside the garage pulls out this dab rig off of this shelf next to him then turns on the torch to proceed to get lit. Denny is an interesting guy, he recently told me that he’s Filipino and Italian(this whole time i assumed he was Latino, you know what they say about assumptions), not too much older than me(i just turned 26 in October and he’s barely in his early 30′s at the most), talks kinda funny with his eyes real low (like bay area stoner from the hood meets skater?) it be easier if i could do an impression or have you hear it for yourself but trust me its great.

Everyone has had something they like to collect, for example when i started college i began reading comic books again but Denny likes to collect and work on cars and not just any car he really likes that old Foreign import hatchback look that people modify to race like the Volkswagen GTI or the Audi Sport Quattro he has pictures of them on the wall and right now owns like 5 or 6 cars right now that i know of if im counting his wife's car too but its funny he has to park and re-park them up and down the block all the time and i think in most of them he has a built in breathalyzer he has to breath into before he starts them due to DUI’s(no judgement from me it doesn’t change that he’s a genuinely good dude and he even said he like that i keeps him honest). So we’re catching up and laughing bonding over our mutual love for sneakers, apparently he’s got a hook up and i badly want a pair of the Off-White Jordan Chicago 1′s for Christmas in a size 11 and the prices for a pair are looking way too high online and I’m not about to be finessed out of over grand for a pair of shoes so he was speaking my language. Suddenly his son Max comes down stairs to get him(cute kid i think he just turned 3).

Not sure what compelled me to say this out loud (probably the weed) but i say “man i feel like we’re friends and i wanna just say you kinda look essentially like....well my goal” and he cocks his head to the side to say “what do you mean?”. I elaborate how he has the essentials house, wife, kid, car, even a steady job in pharmaceuticals(lab coat and everything went to school for it) i want all that shit but he laughs.......”you want my life?, you could do better”. I didn't even hesitate to say fuck yes to that cozy boring lifestyle especially since i could do worse but he picks up Max, looks me in the eye shakes my hand and says “Then go Get it”. Man I’m not sure why that hit me so hard but him saying that really caught me off guard(because, well its easier said than done) but the way he said the words was just inspiring and i couldn't help but say “Okay” accepting the challenge.

I’m certain i could pull several morals from this story like why its good to have friendly relationships with your neighbors or how you can find inspiration in unlikely places and i wont bore you with any of that. But i will say that you never know where you can get a hook up for things you want like a pair of Off-White Jordan’s so when people ask how you got it you can say something cool like “ i know a guy”...............

#ItPaysToBeStrangeButItDoesntPaytoBeAStranger

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m-dubita-beale-blog · 5 years

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Sometimes the Holidays get you in your Feelings.........

Guess i have a thing for getting songs stuck in my head. They do say the best way to get rid of one is to find another to replace it so i guess that’s what i did. Today’s groove invading my personal thought space is an Erykah Badu joint called “Didnt Cha Know” and the baseline is just so infectious you just feel it. Its crazy i watched her recent performance on BET for the Soultrain Awards and it was so good that i started thinking “man i would love to see her live”. literally days later this song pops in my head, so i google her and sure enough she will soon be in San Francisco playing at the Warfield on December 28th which isnt this Friday but the next one. Of course i have to go obviously, ill go alone if i have to but whatever we’re getting off topic its an amazing song give it a listen while i get some bullshit off my chest. https://youtu.be/9IRKiYlTj5g (Song of the day)

Damn.........*sigh* I need a good woman in my life. I wanna want to do all the cute shit together. I wanna do/have “We and Us type shit” together.

I hope shes fine as fuck. Beautiful, Gorgeous, cute, all the adjectives. I want her to make me have to pause every time i see her just because i need to think to myself “DAMN”, especially without make up on. I don’t really have any unrealistic standards of beauty or anything like that. I just apologetically like what i like and we can get into specifics of what that is another time but If you don’t look at someone and feel proud to be next to them then that’s a problem. I wanna look at her and see possible future outcomes, short or long term i wanna see her and say “i want ALL OF THOSE PROBLEMS”.

Don’t get me wrong, attraction is very important, it helps with initial interactions because it holds your attention(Gravitation: F = Gm1m2/r2 ). So much to see, take in, and appreciate. Eyes are the window to the soul and all that shit But its about the vibe as well. Its the same with any other species on planet Earth, large group of the same animals together and one mating call or dance or ritual wont work for everyone but it does for someone. Chemistry is so Real, its the substance in which every friendship(no matter how small) is built upon. like all foundations there are some stronger than others and its a beautiful thing when there’s a connection you can feel and comes with common interests attached to it.

Attraction+mutual vibes via conversation and shared experiences leads to increase of chemistry which is a nice recipe for cultivating love for each other as long as both parties aren’t fucking it up. Are all of these things really too much to ask for in 2018? Is it too tall an order? Personally i don’t think so, i don’t feel it is because i have experienced first hand having these things before.......but i kinda, sorta fucked that up.

In the back of my mind i have a lingering unpleasant concern. What if that was my chance and i blew it? One thing leads to another your life is changing, its getting harder to imagine life before them, your lives are intertwined in such a symbiotic way and then suddenly things fall apart. Who you once called your best friend you can only call a stranger you used to know. What seemed to be star crossed shined to bright, went supernova and burned itself out until it was no more.(Fuck i really need to stop thinking about my Ex)

Moving forward i don’t doubt that there will be new women to come into my life and that ill put my past behind me or at least just appreciate it as the learning experience that it is but i cant help but ask the “what if’s”. I find it annoyingly funny the way we have all had a moment where we contemplate a decision we regret but in the exact same breathe we say “well actually you know, if i never did that then these things wouldn't have happened” looking on the bright side at the silver lining. Don’t that be some shit?

Whatever, point is you can never exaggerate when saying you never truly appreciate something until its gone and if i ever find myself in a position with a fine ass woman who vibes with me to the point where we appreciate and care about each other to the point where we push one another to do better. Genuinely wish success upon each other in whatever form our goals, ambitions, or dreams take and flowers bloom. I will do everything in my power try not to not take her for granted and make that shit work...........who knows, maybe she likes listening to Erykah Badu too.................

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m-dubita-beale-blog · 5 years

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High Thoughts of the Day......

So lately ill get high and then my opinionated ass will engage into philosophical conversations , rants, tangents, whatever the case and I’ve noticed that i have some recurring trains of thought. Figured i would get them out there, share a bit but also put them down for myself....plus this saves paper. Any-who ill just list a few but first take into account that all i can hear right now is Pyramids by a one Sir Frank Ocean vibe extraordinaire. This beautiful soul has created a lovely song comprised of 2 separate parts and the first is nice it sets a mood something to introduce you to the trip but that second act that? that shit right there is what really sticks with you, wiggles its way into the folds of your brain and stay there a while to the point where the song is off and you still hear the shit.

[Hook]

She's working at the pyramid tonight

Working at the pyramid

Working at the pyramid tonight

Working at the pyramid, that's right

Working at the pyramid tonight, yeah

Working at the pyramid

Working at the pyramid tonight

Working at the pyramid

Working at the pyramid tonight

Catchy. As. FUCK.....What’s that called? an Ear-worm? im Feeling this shit right now im singing and everything. Here try to keep up take the trip with me https://youtu.be/DC7DmLsQN7s (*song of the day*)

1. I truly believe that Life(mine, yours, our shared reality on planet Earth, everybody, ect ect ect.) is just an Anime. Everything within said Anime has a shared continuity but is also all canon and filler at the exact same time. Crazy right? mind blown. everything that happens in anime happens in some way or another in real life. Marinate on that a while, recall your entire life or what you remember of it so far how ever long you've been alive from your earliest memory to your most recent one and all of has been stepping stones linearly leading forward in time filling each moment with what ever it takes to get to the next part. the next episode. that next level up. and none of the shit really matters in the long run. We have hopes, dreams, aspirations, real accomplishments, accomplishments we wish actually had, current goals we are working toward, important shit we procrastinate on, and all for what? selfish reasons probably. shades of immortality to have your name, your legacy remembered in the pages of time. YOU ONLY LIVE AS LONG AS THE LAST PERSON WHO REMEMBERS YOU........right? we are all both protagonists and side characters in somebody elses life....mind blown again huh?... we live in a world where fact and fiction are the same. Jordan is widely recognized as the G.O.A.T: and i badly need a pair of those Off/white 1′s in red but they need to bring them ridiculous sneaker prices down: Fact Goku defeated Frieza on planet Namek by going super saiyan and in doing so took down a galactic tyrant becoming one of the most iconic moments in pop culture: Fact. https://youtu.be/0qAJgwkN76Y (*transition*) Phoebe: “C’mon you guys. It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin’ around their tank, ya know, holding claws!” such a famous quote turned meme that some people actually believe to be fact because they saw it on friends but in actuality i learned that lobsters actually have some pretty complex mating rituals where the females have to seduce a man but anyway......instead of mating for life, a dominant male lobster mates with an entire harem of female lobsters. He mates with each female one at a time, in a series of serial flings that last about two weeks each. Which is far more like “serial monogamy” with alot of babies and not expectation of child support so really she should have said another animal like a swans, or elephants, penguins, turtle doves, (insert other species that mates for life): Fact https://youtu.be/U1AOoHSijIk -> Whatever thats enough of that, its 10mins till 2am and i think ill go find some thing to snack on and turn on netflix for a bit before bed. that new season of Voltron just dropped.

2. In my own personal opinion Voltron:The Legendary Defender is absolutely the best Netflix original series available to stream now. hands down, quote me. you heard it here first. top shelf......sure its not for everyone but im 26 and i love it for so many reasons. The incredibly dynamic visuals dreamworks animation studio has created, the storytelling, character development, so many different elements that keep you intrigued, curious, or just engaged in someway, Nostalgia off course, and idk what it is about watching cartoons late at night thats so comforting. Also i love outer space and shit pertaining to it so that’s a plus because opportunity given I'd love to be out there in that never ending sea of stars that is filled with mystery, wonder, and knows no gravity[gotta love that oxford comma]. If you ever have time i would highly recommend the cinematic adventure. With about 8 successful seasons now its perfect binge material.

Closing remarks: https://youtu.begmFAJPArhqM (Thank you and goodnight)

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