macbeeler-blog

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documentaries are kind of my thing

I enjoy trying to expand my knowledge. One of the ways that I do this is by watching documentaries and listening to podcasts. 

I am  currently watching a documentary about the creation of the mayo clinic. It is pretty interesting because they describe the sense of hope that really helps people get ready. They are going to Mayo because they know that they are getting the best treatment possible. There is not doubt. 

I also listened to a podcast today about a subject called human zoos. Back in the 1800′s when countries were expanding and colonizing, they would go into these areas like the Congo and take people from different tribes. These people were then put on display throughout zoos and the world fair. The authority in the country almost used them as an excuse, or something to lighten the load. They would tell the people, “see how barbaric these creatures are??? We are going into their territories to help them become more civilized.” What the viewers did not know is that they were captured and there was a very huge number of natives back where they came being killed. :( 

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Get my act together

I think one of my biggest fears is not getting the job that I want after I graduate college. In order to ensure that I do, I am trying to do everything in my power right now. This is probably my biggest anxiety. Even though I am a person that does not have anxiety about things. It is a more subtle anxiety, but it causes me to over compensate on achievements. I am concerned about boosting my resume and will take on any task in order to do that. But, am I doing enough???? That thought is constantly in the back of my head. Will it be enough ??? Stay tuned!!! 

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i am the worst at the easiest thing

After this semester, I can officially say that I AM THE WORST BLOGGER!!! After several reminders from Dr. Schmidt I blew it aside several days, weeks, until i decided, “maybe i should actually blog so my grade doesn't drastically plummet.” Even after these slight warnings, I fear that it is too late to save my blogging grade. But do I care???? Honestly, I am not worried about it. With only  a couple days left of school, I have no care in the world. At least no care that moves me to change what I initially am wanting to do. 

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Feeling guilty

I gave my presentation today at the research symposium. In the presentation I gave a testimonial about an actual event that had happened to me a couple of weeks ago. 

A couple weeks ago, after volunteering to debate the pro of the controversial subject of the abolishing of the electoral college, I realized I had never experienced something so blatantly misogynistic, before. My professor had made it clear that he did not agree with my views from the get go by making comments such as, “I don’t know how you are going to come up with any upstanding sources for this speech.” I shook off the comments and devoted myself to constructing a killer speech. I delivered the speech in a fierce fashion. After crushing my competition, the floor was open for questions/comments. I was answering a question by describing how the united states had come a long way through the construction of amendments. I stated that the united states had given african americans citizenship and equality under the law with an amendment. They gave african americans the right to vote with an amendment. They gave women the right to vote with an amendment. I was planning to carry on, but my professor had interrupted me by saying, “Yeah, we never should have done that.” I took one look at my teacher and one look at the audience. He said, “Go ahead, continue.” I replied with, “Oh no, I’m finished.” His words belittled me. Shut me down and destroyed all the hard work I had just presented.

I received an almost immediate reaction from someone in the audience who had used my time to answer a question to inform me that this professor had violated title nine, which i was well aware of and completely in control of. I did not intend for this to be the focus of our presentation. by using my first hand experiences, I wanted people to understand that these types of things happen and they are not okay. I merely just wanted to shed light on a topic that is often overlooked and did not want to bring the light to myself. I feel icky. I feel like I have almost done something wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have shared my stories in such a public way. 

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Almost the end

The end of school is nearing and honestly I can’t remember what summer tastes like. Hopefully it is full of roadtrips, the pool, and basketball. I’ve really been trying to work hard this semester. I kind of slacked off the one before this and decided I needed to get on track. When it comes to school I feel as if I am completely tired of it, but really am scared to find out what comes after it. I guess we will find out soon enough.

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Sushi loving

Is it okay to blog about sushi? I really like it. Not the kind that has big chunks of fish in it but the kind that has crab and shrimp and maybe a little bit of little fish. It’s yummy and feels healthy. It’s a light meal.

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Blogging to blog

Blog checks are coming and I need to get to blogging. I have been dreading writing this paper for forever. I have been more excited about other things going on in my life right now. For example, my mom and I run a non-for-profit called Smart Girls Rock. We offer a $500 scholarship to a female that has a high GPA, ACT score, and a lot of service hours within their community. We just sent out our criteria and applications to school. It is so exciting. Rewarding girls for their hard work and community service. My mom and I actually got into an argument today about the criteria. The recipient is supposed to have a ACT score of 30 or higher. 

As someone that is not a good timed test taker, I had to study and practice for the ACT. I ended with a score of 26. I was pleased with this. My sister on the other had did not have to study at all and she got a 32. My mom was basically telling me that she is smarter than me because she was able to get a higher score than me. I didn't want to feed into so I just quickly changed the subject. 

As someone who struggled with the timing of the ACT, I was wanting to lower the ACT score on the criteria, but my mom wasn't budging. I do not think that the ACT should determine how smart/successful you are. 

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This dang research paper...

I am so unmotivated. This research paper is the last thing on my mind. Whenever I get to this point in the semester I would much rather prefer smoother sailing. I really do know that 10 pages is not that much, its just the hard work of preparing thoughts and doing all the critical thinking that comes before the consolidation of thoughts. I like critical thinking, I just do not like writing the thoughts down. My mom and teachers have always told me that I am such a good writer. They pushed me to pursue a career in it. Well that would have been awesome, but I hate writing. I am the worst at making myself sit down and write out my thoughts. 

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Is it summer yet?

I just survived the busiest week of my life. Between school work, work, basketball, the bake sale, and coaching I was barely able to stay awake most days. I get quiet irritable when I am tired and overwhelmed, so I tend to stay to myself. This makes for a lonely week. I am hoping that all my hard work will pay off one day :).

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should I be blogging here???

Currently in a tattoo shop, watching my sis get a tattoo. Spent the night at a concert watching out favorite artist perform!!! KACEY MUSGRAVES!! Yes, I know what you’re thinking... you like country? They answer is.... NO, I LIKE KACEY MUSGRAVES. It was nice to take a weekend away from everything and to just chillax. Sad thing is, it’s back to reality on Monday :/

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rip

tomorrow we are starting 5 am weights and conditioning for basketball. This is quite frustrating to me. My coach is very demanding about getting into the gym and on top of that we have practice and scrimmages almost every day. I am struggling. I feel as if my coach wants us to devote every hour of every day to basketball, but frankly, I have bigger and more important things on my agenda. I want to go someone after I graduate, so I am doing everything in my power to get my resume stacked. Not to mention, I want some time to spend by myself and focus on myself. Also, I’m nervous, I do not want this man to kill us in the morning. Who knows how far or how long he is going to make us run. 

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International Women’s Day

To those that don’t know, today is very important to me. INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY (lmao throwback to last Friday). 

————— An incredible amount of bravery and defiance came with the making of that day. I am forever grateful. Because of women like Elaine Aber, who fought hard for the equal rights amendment to pass in Missouri and who’s documents are pictured about, I am able to do things like coach a men’s basketball team instead of being a typist/receptionist, WEAR PANTS, take out a loan, vote, run for president, go to college (let alone play a collegiate sport), and so much more. Daily activities should never be taken for granted. 

———— Because of their acts, women everywhere are able to stand up for those still fighting for these rights, and frankly, we won’t stop until we ALL have the ability to obtain the TOTALITY of equal rights :) 

————— (Was able to access primary sources kept by the family of Elaine Abers at the Missouri State Historical Society in Columbia. These documents outlined the events of the equal rights movement in Missouri. Some are pictured above.) ————— Also, if anyone wants to read an informative paper about the women’s lib check my bio for the link :)

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Influencers

Growing up, I had a lot of great people guiding me. One of the most important people, Raymond, my first basketball coach, taught me everything. He was the one that planted the love of the game in me. Not only did he help me develop in the game, but he taught me how to to treat people with respect. Funny enough, he really taught me what it is to be a feminist. Our team was called Ladies First. He was and will always be one of my biggest influencers throughout life.

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BUSY A** DAY

It’s all about the hustle right? Woke up at 3:45 this morning to take some friends to the airport ($$ was involved). Then I headed to a basketball team tryout, where I interning at for the summer. It’s also one of my good friend’s birthdays so now we are going out in Columbia tonight. I am exhausted, but ready to have a good time. Honestly I enjoy being able to fit so many things into my schedule. I have a sense of accomplishment, but then again I am always exhausted at the end of the day.

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Music

I have kind of talked about my love for music in precious posts, but today I will completely shower you with the love I have for certain music. I dislike country. Do not enjoy it what so ever. I am obsessed with Lady Gaga, Harry Styles, John Mayor, Kacey Musgraves, Maggie Rogers, Chris Brown, and Vance Joy. I really basically love to listen to music I can sing to. That’s why you never really find me listening to new music because I LOVE TO SING WHAT I ALREADY KNOW.

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FUTURE

I cannot imagine living in the mid 1900′s. The amount of change that the world went through in this amount of time is MIND BLOWING. There were economic changes, societal changes, and technological changes. Compared to this time period, it seems as if we may be at standstill. Looking forward, I do believe that things will change. I believe that because of the growing independence and dwindling reliance on the government human beings will be “rebelling” or stirring the pot even more than we have already seen within the past years. I read an article once talking about patriotism, and the love that people in the army have for their country. I cannot relate. I do not think of this country as something that I love dearly. I live here and I am effected and affect the decisions made by the government. I guess you could call me very unpatriotic but that’s just me. I do not have a passionate, undying love for this country. Although, I am grateful for and respect the men and women that protect and serve this country. I think that I, like a lot of people, stand more firm in my beliefs and stances than anything. I would be more willing to protect and fight for a stance than I would be to protect the country in which I live. Am I alone? 

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Wednesday

the fact that I almost typed tuesday in for my title explains how my day has been going today. I like to stay busy. And today I feel like I have been extra busy. Working straight after a full day of classes leaves but tired, but happy on pay day. I am hoping to use the money I am saving to go on a trip to Ireland and England this summer. Am currently in the works to get my mom to agree to it. She gets kind of dramatic about that stuff saying that there is social unrest in England rn due to the whole Brexit thingy. We got into a huge a fight about it and she stormed off after I said, “why am i going to let fear dictate where I go in life and stop me from experiencing new experiences.” Hopefully, everything will work out. If not, I have no idea what I’m going to do with all this money.