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— Khaled Hosseini, from The Kite Runner (via lunamonchtuna)
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Happy Birthday Daddy
My dad would be 61 today. Instead he’s been gone almost 3 years. Time doesn’t help it just makes the bad days hurt even more.
If you still have your parents.. I’m unhealthily jealous of you, for so many reasons.
Everything in my life is marked as before and after ans everything in the after will forever be void of him. That’s so painful. New house? No congrats... New baby? No I’m so proud of you... Nothing. Every again.
It’s as if he stopped existed and just became an echo that only I can hear.
If you still have your parents..whether you’re close or not..call them. Call them just because you can. Call them for me. Just...call them. I promise you - when you’re in my shoes..and one day you will be..you’ll wish and regret.
I have only two serious regrets in my life and one of them is not letting my daddy give me the talk. Not the birds and bees but the last talk..the one that they naturally want to give when they’re dying. I took that from him..and me. I like to say he taught me everything except how to live without him..but he tried. I would always nip it and say “You’re not going to die Daddy, stop it” Cancer said otherwise and here I am without my compass.
So call. Listen even though you’d rather lick a tree..because one day...
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Our thanksgiving? Being spent away from each other. I know many others are doing the same but it hurts. It hurts that out of keeping myself alive I can’t be with my son.
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don’t get me wrong I want sex and I want your body on mine and I want to make you moan but more than that I just wanna fall asleep with your arms around me and your hand in mine and not a care in the world
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the intimacy of being tired together. a head on a chest while falling asleep to the thump thump thump of your love’s heart. those delirious giggles you get directed at nothing in particular. to be wrapped in a cocoon of blankets on a cold winter’s night, bodies as close and intertwined as humanly possible to keep warm. there’s nothing i want more than to drift off in the arms of the one i love.
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