madretm

[madretm]

“Mama He Treats Your Daughter Mean” - Ruth Brown (1953)

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me: i’m going to make a headcanon that maria’s father was half irish. me, days later: [suddenly remembers FRIDAY’s accent is distinctly irish] me: well fuck, this is glorious. 

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iironbled·:

“I never said there was, it was just a little too much for my innocent ears. Thank god.”

  “Oh,Innocent ears my eye! You can’t kid a kidder, Anthony Edward Stark; I know you best.”

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starkonetm·:

“Aw, I mean, a quick one right now won’t kill anyone — But if we wait until tonight, it might feel so much better to be able to relax in each others arms afterwords.” 

“You are worth the wait dolcezza.”

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say what you want, maria is in her 60s, lost both her legs in the crash and the fact her husband of some forty-odd years still wants to have sex with her despite the fact is a huge boost to her confidence.  the pedestal she was on came crumbling down after the accident but @starkonetm is here building it back up again like a fucking gent.

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starkonetm·:

“ooh, Honey. you know me way to well. And here I did getting you more diamonds. But then again, that isn’t the only hard thing you are getting tonight.” 

       “Oh, Howard. Keep talking like that and we might have to start the festivities early.”

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iironbled·:

“-and yet I still don’t want to hear about my moms stocking being filled. Oh boy. I hope you brought enough whiskey.” 

   "Then don’t eavesdrop. There’s nothing wrong with a woman my age embracing her sexuality. Don’t worry, we won’t get in your way.”

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starkonetm·:

“ you know how much I love you right?” 

   “I do. And I think you might love me more when you see your gift. I’ll give you a clue; it’s - uhm - wrapped in something silk and slutty.”

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maria was definitely a mother who was blunt about sex. howard was so aloof he probably tried to have The Talk™ with tony but ended up freaking out a bit before he could actually. so maria had to do it, like everything else, and you know she was in there with diagrams and condoms and long fruits and vegetables to show him how to put one on and tony was like “yeah no i have to go i have to go set fire to myself”   and maria probably tried to have The Talk™ but tony kept running away and in the end it was jarvis who told him about the birds and the bees (though he was a child genius so he probably had vague ideas anyway plus schools teach some shit anyway he just filled in the gaps?? no pun intended) but maria was DEFINITELY always reminding him to be safe and other embarrassing mom things but only because she believes sex is healthiest and happiest when it’s talked about like there’s no shame in human bodies and no shame in human nature

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starkonetm·:

“I promise on GOD I will be good. I’ll watch my tongue until we are ALONE.”  

    “I’ll hold you to that.”

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iironbled·:

@madretm

“Leave the stocking jokes alone, you’re ruining christmas.”

     “You are 48 years old, Anthony.” 

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starkonetm·:

“Well if you put it THAT WAY — I’ll be a good boy, who drinks in a corner tonight, how about that?” 

    “You had better. I’ll check. Santa might just leave a little somethin’ for you to unwrap if you’re very good.”