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open starter ! @scrubshqstarters location: code latte, queens.

arms up in protection of his head and the cinnamon role he'd purchased tucked safely away in a scrub pocket, javi stumbled hastily out of the café and into the street. just managing to soften the blow of his brushing past an unsuspecting passerby on the way, he immediately flashed his best smile. "ah, sorry!" a momentary pause, the smile still firmly in place. “i would offer to buy you a coffee to apologise but i'm scared if i go back in there it won't be the menu i'm hit with... but something much more substantial."

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thinking of this

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wanted connections.

A MENTEE -- an intern / resident that javi has taken under his wing and a liking too ( more so than the rest. ) they could be specifically on a ped-em combined residency, or peds or em separately. it could be a solely professional dynamic, or they've struck up a friendship, or even a more familial tone.

A CLOSEST FRIEND -- they've been friends for a long time, practically joined at the hip. they're probably the only person who can really tell how much javi has changed ; maybe they call him out on the state of his life and himself, maybe they don't. they are his shoulder to cry on in the rare moments he lets that happen and he is likewise a rock for them.

A CALL-OUT FRIEND -- but one who unequivocally tries to hold javier accountable to himself. it might even have damaged the friendship a little, javi feeling like he's under attack all the time even if he knows logically his friend is absolutely right and should say it.

AN 'OPP' -- someone javi's generally jovial, easy-going and somewhat playful disposition rubs the wrong way. knowing that, he dials it up just to annoy them. they definitely leave every interaction with a well-placed sticker or something worse. there's not a mean bone in javier's body, but riling this person up just entertains him so.

A WORK BESTIE -- a dynamic er duo of which javier is one half ! could be they hit it off because they're similar ; in work approach, personality, sense of humour or something else. but you know you're in for a good shift seeing these two on the rota.

FELLOW MUSICIANS -- lowkey flirting with the idea of there being a lil unofficial 'medic / hospital band' that gets together and jams. maybe they even perform when schedules allow ( at staff parties and the like ). javi is a drummer ( and guitarist, but he'd jump for the former role first. ) it could even be cross-hospital.

SPORT / WORK OUT BUDDIES -- javi's not a gym rat by any means, but he runs and takes any opportunity to play soccer. could be another informal healthcare / hospital team. could likewise be cross-hospital or they play against each other 👀.

DRINKING BUDDIES -- javi is a regular at sterling's saw after work, they decompress together after shifts and potentially even meet on mythical days off to drink and yap. also frequents the whisper & poison because of its live music offering ( and the signature flatline. )

UNLIKELY FRIENDS -- what makes it unlikely is totally open ; an age difference, chalk and cheese, etc ! but something about javi and this person's friendship makes it seem unusual. it still works regardless and they're good friends.

ONE NIGHT STAND(S) -- there wouldn't be too many of these, it's not javier's typical mo at all. he was a wife guy ( an ACTUAL wife guy ) but is now divorced and lonely. any occurrences were likely drink and / or depression-fuelled mistakes ; not that he would actually say that to the person. he'd come up with some other excuse, or graciously it wouldn't come up at all.

FLIRTATIONSHIP -- does what it says on the tin. maybe there are actual feelings involved ( mutual or one-sided ) and the chemistry isn't fake at all, or maybe it is really just a bit of fun between friends.

FAILED ROMANCES / DATES -- could have failed for a number of reasons. it wouldn't take an overtly astute person to realise that javier is, frankly, not with it. he's lonely and the idea of being in a relationship again -- loving and being loved -- is something he so desperately craves, but he's not sure he's fit for it anymore. certainly, he's not in the right headspace as it stands. they could have been very short term relationships or not even really made it to that 'official 'stage, or more long-term for the angst. a fling or two, even. maybe it was an understanding, mutual breakup, maybe javi simply withdrew, maybe it was a dramatic break or something else entirely.

ALL SORTS OF FRIENDS. CO-WORKERS WHO ARE JUST CO-WORKERS. JAVI'S MENTOR FROM WHEN HE STARTED AT KINGSLEY. IMELDA'S FRIENDS -- FOLKS HE GOT TO KNOW THROUGH HER. A POSITIVE INFLUENCE. SIBLING-LIKE FRIENDS. UNREQUITED CRUSH ( EITHER / BOTH WAYS. ) A RIVAL ( THOUGH THEY PROBABLY TAKE IT MORE SERIOUSLY THAN JAVI. ) NEIGHBOURS -- JAVI HAS A BACHELOR PAD APARTMENT IN QUEENS.

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loneliness doesn’t always feel like sadness. sometimes it’s just an empty chair next to you that you keep looking at out of habit

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「 diego luna, cis man + he/him 」🔬  ‧₊˚  ⋆ ــــــــــﮩ٨ـ did you page javier becerra from emergency medicine ( paediatrics ) ? they’re the forty-six year old attending physician at kingsley memorial hospital, they’ve been working here for fifteen years. you’ve probably seen them if you catched abandoned cups of coffee, wisps of smoke from yet another ‘last’ cigarette, an abundance of themed stickers & music blaring through headphones, the patients that do like them would tell you they are genial and supportive, but some of them think they’re restless and detached. time is rushing, just go and find them. 

full name: javier armando thomas becerra. nicknames: javi. birthdate: 14th january, 1979. zodiac sign: capricorn. place of birth: toluca, mexico current residence: new york, usa. gender: cis man. pronouns: he/him. sexuality: bisexual, biromantic. height: 5'10. languages spoken: spanish, english, limited tagalog and asl. personality traits: practical, obsessive, hard-working, reserved.

( tws ; death, child loss, grief, mental illness )

born and raised in toluca, javier was one of those kids that knew what job he was going to do from day dot. his mamá was a nurse and the spark that lit the flame underneath him. there was nothing for him but medicine -- he could barely comprehend anything else. ( with nursing as a backup plan, just in case. )

luckily for him, he was also one of those kids that seemed to ace every test without putting much ( or any ) effort in. thus, javi skated through school with above average grades the whole way and without breaking a sweat.

completed his undergrad in biology at unam and took a leap to move to massachusetts ( where his mother was from ) to attend medical school at harvard. for the first time in his life, javi had to put work in -- and he was more than keen to do so. to no one's surprise, he would graduate at the top of his class.

for the longest time he couldn't decide between pediatric cardiology or emergency medicine, but knowing that he'd thrived in the er like nowhere else, he eventually chose emergency medicine for his residency with an eye for a pediatric emergency medicine fellowship.

during his residency at mass general, a relationship sparked with an rn, imelda, also working in the er. just a few years later they were married. javi and imelda made the move to new york for jobs at kingsley memorial. renowned for its trauma and pediatric specialities, it was the place he wanted most to be.

about two years into working at kingsley, the lovebirds of the er announced they were pregnant. soon, they welcomed their daughter eliana, named for her role as the light in their lives and affectionately known as lia or ellie. hers had been a difficult start to life, but she made it out of the nicu to be doted on by her parents at home.

as it turned out, they were not out of the woods and only a couple of months later little eliana sadly passed, leaving her parents distraught. it was not a surprise -- she'd been ill from day one, but a trooper -- but to this day nothing has shocked javier to his core half as much as her loss.

specific words exist for other losses -- orphan, widow... there is nothing like the experience itself to bring home just quite why there is no word for parents who lose a child. it is barely comprehensible.

needless to say, javier stepped away from work. not for half as long as he should have, but being home became more painful and unbearable as time passed. javi withdrew, their marriage fell apart in a mutual decision. two people cannot stay together if the sight of one another pains them beyond belief.

they agreed imelda would have the house and really everything material they owned, most of which she sold to move back to mass. javi moved out, bought a depressing bachelor pad ( which remains pretty depressing to this day ) and threw himself into work a changed man.

he was still as warm as ever ; genial, keen to chat to anyone and still an endlessly supportive and caring attending and mentor. looking at his work and his interactions with patients and coworkers alone, there is a good show for nothing being wrong. except he cracks less jokes, the mask cracks and his face falls when no one is looking. anyone who's ever known him, for however brief a time, knows javier is different. his personal life took the decided hit. if he were to put it into words ; speak it out loud, or write it down, he might say he's been living in a state of dissociation. work and the routine is the only thing keeping him sane and dissolvable stitches the only thing holding him together.

over the thirteen years or so since, things have become better, javi has become better even if only marginally. a bit of grief counselling no doubt helped ( and maybe would have more if he'd stuck at it ) and so has the time, but the wound is still raw and stinging like it was made mere seconds ago.

headcanons.

has a lily of the valley tattoo on his right forearm. he got it on a whim on the first anniversary of eliana's passing ; it's her birth flower. the only other tattoo he has is on the opposite bicep ; design.

always works the anniversary of eliana's death and her birthday so he doesn't just lie on the floor for 24 hours. the busier the better and they are probably the two days of the year he's most noticeably 'off'.

imelda made him stop smoking, queen shit, and it was very successful. presently? javier probably smokes more than he breathes normally. he's aware it's terrible ( one doesn't need med school to know that ) but so far all his attempts to kick the habit have been futile -- though he resents the ( accurate ) accusation that he's just not tried very hard.

on a similar note, drinks red bull, monster, coffee and such like as if they're water. kinda appreciates the irony in telling a teenager about the dangers of energy drinks whilst one is bubbling in his opaque coffee cup.

decent cook, excellent baker. typically pretty good at his meal prepping for work ( sometimes brings a spare just in case someone needs it ), but never forgets to bring a home baked good in at least once a week -- enough for both day and night shift staff. hypothetically.

forever humming or singing under his breath, which is only slightly less annoying than his habit of incessantly drumming or tapping on things. it's usually a theme tune, disney song -- really whatever tv show, character, movie, etc., the last kid he spoked to said they liked, it's guaranteed to be an ear worm and everybody around him must suffer with him. he can at least hold a tune. lowkey prides himself on knowing basically everything he's come across.

re. the annoying drumming... he's a drummer. begged his parents for a kit growing up and they very ( justifiably ) begrudgingly gave in. he did a couple of formal grade exams to keep them happy. it's very much a lifelong hobby. he has a soundproofed room in his apartment so his neighbours don't hate him too much and he can play at all hours. also self taught guitar, mostly plays acoustic. big music guy generally and loves getting recommendations from anyone -- he will earnestly listen and report back his opinion if wanted. it's really helped broaden his listening.

obviously um... riddled with unresolved grief and a truckload of depression, which mixed with catholic guilt, is really just a great mental health smoothie all round. javi's not necessarily... in denial about any of those things but he is most certainly living/acting like he's in denial of them ! so. just as bad really. he's loath to call out, ever -- even if he needed the er himself as a patient he would try to rock up to work like it was nbd -- but when he does it's usually because shit has hit him like a tidal wave out of nowhere and well and truly knocked him for six. most of the time he won't call out completely, just hope he can gather himself into something vaguely like a functioning human being and wobble in late. very occasionally, he will just take the hit and sleep until his next shift.

has been growing his hair out a little recently, though he’s not sure how he feels about it quite yet. ( the length is closer to the gif on the left than the right. ) threw it up in a teeny bun once bc it felt right & practical ( really only a few layers of it actually fit in the bun ), then somebody commented “not the man bun”… so he hasn’t done that since ! leaning more towards cutting it again because he’s not sure what the advantages are and if the novelty has worn off.

swears like a sailor. a truly terrible and unnecessarily bad potty mouth. he's the consulate professional at work, of course but in a secure patient-free zone? outside of the hospital? directly in front to a poor admin worker or such like yapping in his ear about shit he couldn't care less about? expletives galore. some have said the sweetest guy they've ever met, but my god does he have a mouth on him. he likes to say there's lots to swear about :).

possibly definitely gets more fun out of his signature stickers than any child could. of course patients get as many and whatever they want for existing, but he's been known to playfully reward an intern or resident ( and fellow attendings ) with a well-timed and placed sticker when the feeling arises. javi seems to have an endless supply of them, producing them from nowhere.

wanted connections.

HERE. anything & everything pls !

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Diego Luna on the set of “If Baele Street Could Speak” (2018) dir. Barry Jenkins

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dependent blog for scrubshq, written by penny.

javier becerra ( diego luna ), forty-six, he/him. attending physician ( pediatric emergency medicine ) @ kingsley memorial hospital. intro. pinterest. wanted connections. musings. currently listening.

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“Ray can be a real dick sometimes. you guys notice that?”

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“Each one of us, however old, is still an undergraduate in the school of experience. When a man thinks he has graduated, he becomes a public menace. - J. Chalmers Da Costa”

— One Q.D. Calendar - A medical quote for each day (via evergreenhealth-blog)

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Diego Luna as Cassian Andor ANDOR (1.05) | The Axe Forgets

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DIEGO LUNA as Cassian Andor ANDOR | S02E07 “Messenger”

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ALMOST FAMOUS (2000) dir. Cameron Crowe

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DIEGO LUNA - GIF PACK;

— In THE SOURCE LINK, you’ll find #186 gifs, all made by me, from the movie wander darkly (2020), created for myself and made to be used for roleplay purposes (please be attentive to the triggers on top of the page). If you’ve found this gif pack useful, please like this post or reblog. I kindly ask you not to use these gifs on gif hunt, crackships, rp bios or turn them into gif icons.