mages-madness

[mages-madness]

Trying to explain my sexuality like "I am nonbinary, I like girls like a lesbian, I like boys like a gay guy, but I feel guilty feeling gay attraction both ways because I also feel like a straight person fetishising gay attraction, but also my relationship with sexual attraction is VERY complicated" but that's too complex so I just say I'm demisexual biromantic

[mages-madness]

I only top men and bottom to women. Does this make me a mysogynist by perpetuating the societal standard that more femme people do all the work while more masc people reap all the benefits?

[mages-madness]

Hack for if you're struggling with ADHD paralysis and you can't get started on a task:

Step 1: Add some silly rule to the task to make it more interesting and whimsical.

Step 2: Pretend Sam Reich just told you to do it.

Here are a few examples that have worked for me recently.

(Bonus points if you can hear the setup in your head. "Alright, players, for your next challenge" 🎶ding🎶)

[mages-madness]

On one hand, on June 2, a lot of really old famous people died, on the other, on January 6, it was exactly 20 years before the capitol hill riots in the US, which, considering that's the international date structure reading and not the US one, makes it all the more funny.

a shirt with a random inconsequential date and "Never Forget" written on it that makes people look at it and wonder what they're supposed to be remembering.

[mages-madness]

I've always tried to convince myself that I'm fine being a bit of a bastard, as long as my actions allow good people to continue to be good people, and bad people to get their dues, but the truth is I don't know how much I'm actually contributing to helping good people, and bad people still seemingly never get their dues, despite my best efforts, and deep down I really just want to be able to be a genuinely kind person to everyone, and not be an intrinsic knowledge magnet of some of the darkest parts of humanity.

[mages-madness]

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

[mages-madness]

If looks could kill, I'd be a mass murderer

[mages-madness]

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

[mages-madness]

[mages-madness]

So apparently the response to remembering you should not be drinking because you took painkillers earlier is not "go full throttle"

[mages-madness]

My dad threatened to buy me an iphone if he ever got enough money, and it genuinely pisses me off so much when he does that for multiple reasons. First, it shows that he's literally never paying attention when I say things unless it's convenient to him(I have said on numerous occasions that I absolutely abhor iphones as it's a sup-par, over-priced, capitalistic piece of garbage, and the only benefit of any apple product is that they have objectively the best creative suite, which is a mute point with an iphone because its size makes interacting with said creative suite difficult on the device, meaning all it would do is take away my ability to use my beloved open-source apps, and that will happen over my dead body), but it also shows a complete detachment from reality. This is a man who will go to overpriced cafes while complaining about how he literally has no money. He somehow managed to get his hands on some extra cash, so today he booked plane tickets to go to my little sister's graduation, despite the fact that the graduation is in the USA, and he does not currently have a valid US passport nor does he know if he will get his US passport in time, and it is almost impossible to enter the country on a foreign passport these day. If he has to fill out a fucking ESTA for a country he is a citizen of because he bought tickets to a country before his legal means of going there arrived, I'm not fucking helping him. This is a man who has never learned an ounce of responsibility because everything has just fallen into place for him his whole life. Constantly praying for the day that he pisses off the gods and they decide they are as fucking sick if him as I am, though unfortunately I'm forced to hope that it doesn't happen this time because little sis inexplicably wants him at her graduation

[mages-madness]

Filled with the constant and irrepressable urge to peg men, but not in a sexual way, as a display of dominance

[mages-madness]

It would never work in real life, but I feel like people who are against veteran support services should be forced to do at least two years of mandatory service

[mages-madness]

Not saying how I know this, but a lack of comprehensive education on intimate practices is more likely to lead to incest.

[mages-madness]

[mages-madness]

Brain Curd #390

Brain Curds are barely-edited fiction, poetry, or just about anything else - drafted in a day or less. I wish I could be sleepy instead of tired.

Part 47 of an experiment in progress. Refer to case logs.

“… And Trevor married her and they both lived happily ever after.” Daddy smiled. It was night time and he just finished telling me a bedtime story like he did every night.

I liked it when he told me Trevor Stories. They were stories about me, in the future. Or sometimes in old times like when there were kings and princesses. In this story, I was a prince who saved a princess from a dragon, but last night I went to the moon. I hoped someday I could be like the Trevor in the stories because he was really cool and did cool stuff.

“Goodnight,” he said and kissed me on the forehead.

“Hey, Daddy?”

“What is it?” He almost walked out the door but he turned around.

“Are mummies real?”

“Mommies? Yeah, Mommy is just in the other room. You saw her at dinner, remember?”

“No…” I covered my face with my blanket. “I mean mummies…”

“Yeah, mommies. There are lots of mommies. You have one, Serenity has one, Gordon has one…”

“No…” I wanted to cry. He didn’t know what I meant. “I saw a scary movie when Uncle Garren came to visit and I want to know are mummies real? Mummies. Like they’re all wrapped up and they walk around and try to grab you.”

“Oh…” He shook his head. “Uncle Garren showed you a scary movie, huh?”

“It was on accident. Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad.” He sat back down on my bed. “Did you have a bad dream about mummies, Trevor?”

“Uh… yeah…”

“Well, don’t you worry.” He booped my nose. “Mummies are all the way in Egypt. And sometimes England. But they’re all really far away and they can’t walk. They won’t hurt you.”

I smiled. “That’s good.”

“You okay, Trevor? You gonna get some sleep?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Great.” He smiled and kissed my forehead again and walked to the door. “Goodnight.”

I laid down in bed but my eyes didn’t wanna close. I looked up at the roof and the glow in the dark stars were pretty. Pretty boring. I climbed out of bed and walked over to my toy bucket and fished around in it until I found my sketchy board. I wasn’t supposed to play with toys past my bedtime but I had a plan that if Mommy or Daddy came in I would erase what I was drawing with the little slider at the bottom. Wait… how would that keep them from knowing I was playing…

Oh, duh. If there isn’t anything drawn on it then there’s no proof that I drew something and if I was just holding it then I wasn’t playing. So that was okay. I drew a little sun in the corner first and then I drew a nice little house in the middle with some grass and a nice little family standing out front with a mommy and a daddy and a little girl but this wasn’t really like my family because we lived in an apartment and my friend Gordon lived downstairs which was cool because I could go downstairs and he had Mouse Trap and we could play it. Also secretly the little girl in my drawing was just pretending to be a little girl but she was actually a boy transformed by magic.

I heard someone walk by so I erased the sketchy board and stuck it under my bed and jumped into bed and I was worried I made too much squeaking noise but nobody came in. I peeked out of the blanket and saw the nice woman that I remembered from the other day so I got back out of bed and walked up to her.

“Hey,” I said, looking up at her. She was really big and pretty. “Thank you for saving me in my dream.”

“Huh?” She looked sleepy.

I yawned because now I was sleepy from seeing how sleepy she looked. “You saved me in my dream. I was a big kid and I was in trouble but you saved me. It was like a Trevor Story but if I made my own when I was sleeping.”

“Uh… You’re welcome?”

“What’s your name?”

“Celeste.” She was really confused. “Why can you see me?”

“I ‘unno.”

“Damn shoddy equipment…” She whispered. Then she got all worried.  “I mean… darn…”

“You shouldn’t use bad words, Celeste. Your mommy and daddy will be sad.”

“I don’t really have either of those, buddy.”

“Why? Did you come from space?” I asked but she never answered because then Daddy came in and told me to go back to bed. I guess he heard me talking but I thought I was being really quiet. So I went back to bed and I fell asleep but I didn’t live happily ever after because I didn’t marry anybody or go to a castle.

Penned 2025.04.11

Please reblog, like, and follow if you enjoyed, and leave a reply even if you didn’t! See you again soon!

[mages-madness]

The pipeline of "this beuracratic nonsense is making me want to not live in this society" -> "I don't want to actually be dead" -> "I'm going to fake my own death" is one that I go down far too often.