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2019 spring fashion update

from Wyatt Welch <3

So I get this question often, and quite frankly, I think people have real reason to be concerned here. It can be hard to know when a sweater is making you look like a reasonably-dressed person concerned about maintaining your body heat or making you look like a Midwest, basic bitch. Here are some tips to help you choose the right path: One, keep it solid colors. Don't go prints or it's basic-bitch. Are you for real thinking of wearing that sweater with jeans? Why don't you just go ahead and get that "basic bitch" knuckle tattoo already? If you don't care about yourself, it's hard for the rest of us to, too. Second, after you've donned that perilous sweater, you need to do something fun & funky with your hair or something from the neck up. Large, fashion jewelry can help offset the sorrow a sweater naturally brings. Style your hair up or wear a workout bandanna. Something that says "I'm aware". Try to let others know that you know you're in control of the situation. It's all about humility. Third, you're gonna have to be high or something to make that sweater work. Roll that blunt, pack that bowl, scroll a doob, rip a J, load the bong cause there's nothing sadder than sobriety in a sweater. I'll say it. I mean, you're getting dressed to leave the house in the first place, right? Fourth, cute shoes. Again, it's all about complementing the woolen sack of misery you're sporting with pop. Good fashion is good manners. We all have to look at each other, so let's be considerate of everyone's eye-space. PM me if you have any concerns, questions, and pics. We were all put on this earth to help each other. Happy Equinox.

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2018 THE BODY IS WAY OUT LIKE ACTUALLY OUT LIKE ALL THE OTHER TIMES IT WAS OUT WERE JUST WARM-UP AND NOW IT'S REALLY OVER. 2018 tamarind, John Frusciante, stuffed crust (kidding), blended margaritas, anything that says "I'm resigned to live like the mall of America bc I'm stressed about climate change". I've had an inactive Tumblr for about 6 years now. fuck the government etc. Fuck urself really. Don't we use queer politics as a way 2b relevant and continue to hate voting? masturbation is back in (remember- body OUT), not in a 70s or 90s CUNT way (I shudder) but feeling ur full 'borg-self (see next "month's" "discussion" on the self). Pass that love to ur friends hella not sex positive just give them affirmation on a real level. Vulvic flowers are always out I am blocking you on Instagram. Is it possible for the Internet to be out? Til it actually is maybe talking about it is. Circle K hot dogs, the Polar Pop, continue 2b the height of fashion, not making fun of Tucson for being shitty but like 79 cents for a beverage that stays cooler longer. Wrap urself in Styrofoam and see if it works for us too. FUZZY BOOTS. Platforms! always. Drinking water. Butch anklets (what is it?), glow stars applied directly to the non-body cosmology, and honestly latex. Boxing and rubber sex dresses. Boxing shorts, insulation of all kinds (but porous). Crops are timeless but plastic-wrap tops are rly coming up ;) "Language and meaning are mutating at an unprecendented rate and things are banalized instantaneously/a climging and fabrics that cling/saran wrap that presses and seals/clinging in general" 2018 if we can't be done at last with astrology then lying about your chart is hot. My sun is in Circle K and ur a Spanish moss rising. I'm not wrapped in plants. Climate change isn't real but the government says it is. Go swimming. P.S. Territory magazine continues 2b garbage but maybe no one reads it? We still wouldn't turn down a lress war. We charge our flip phones with the energy produced by burning Territory.

this is a collborative piece

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add me 2 the group txt/im willing 2 hear im wrong

off the tip of last year's Delayed Pleasure: we're entering a period of get it, Now. remember in nov thru jan where every liberal on the internet made a commitment to spiritual tirefires and ally networks*? yeah lol i still believe in resistance but as deportations and facism ramp up across the country who's around?? * looking for a 'meetings' fashion correspondent, anyone? slutty yet sleek, downhome and scammable. a sincere movement towards day glo and away from pride in a redneck/white identity. how do u spell fashion? we are trying our god damned best out here n sometimes babyy ur best aint enough. I want to see us gro- we aren't returning to roots, we're ripping them up n rethreading 2 the wild future. ive been taking all this mugwort trying to dream up something n i jus needed 2 listen. looking up the asstrological profiles of celebrities, stealing John's brooks bros button up, what's this post-post-h8r brand thing, fuckin no! we hate them! high-necked onesies, kendrick lamar w a reminder to be humble (it seems directed). orgeat syrup on ur neck stuck w dried ocotillo, bad vibes/no one cares. tie dye all ur shit w chlorine n indigo/black rit can u see the future?!?! im predicting a return to hippie sensibilities as we desperately dissociate via horrible music and drugs but the sweet electro nihilist in ur head whispers ·ur scared as shit· n could probably take some responsibility. what's up in cincinnati? fashion-wise. nah who cares. what's up in the back of ur truck? those tie-downs. let's fortify, attack.

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For immediate release (12/12/16 2:56pm MST)

Magic Baby Dream Boat, Tucson's premiere fashion blog, declares total conflict with new colonial garbage “moderne” lifestyle magazine -Territory-.

Territory reeks of bonnet-donning (photo reference), and promotes a “refined” lifestyle reminiscent of rent hikes and and not listening. We stand in full opposition to art that threatens our ability to wear ill-fitting bootcut jeans to the bar. No nostalgia for modernism who fucking cares. No $14 drinks unless Daddy's buying.

In light of every event in the past six months/600 years since the rivers dried up.:. threatened DIY spaces and art wrecks.:. violence and displacement.:. MBDB declares Southwest colonial romance ass.thetic BAD STYLE.

You can read Territory's vision statement by clicking the “On a Mission" link- just like Father Kino!

Http://www.territorymagazine.com

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Worn Till Warmer

Sinister sisters?.. Hello? Whose there. It's just you and me and us on this rotating ball of semi solid magma. We have the tendency to become solid bodies, for better or worse. I've seen a million miles of roads all becoming snakes under my feet and still I whisper secrets into the silent space of my palms. There's a lil shelter that blooms in my hands when I sleep under the full moon. Full moon in Idaho Aquarius is just a memory. Astrology has lost its own key and lays locked into a life or death smile fest across the bottom of the celestial ditch we call a river of milk. A river of immovable guilt. Celestina crowds the seaside banister. The Stars sink into the space between my ribs The wind billows the shirts like sails and suddenly were gone. Sail swiftly The note found under my dresser ornate Carved under the feet of moments birthing. Dragon traps Have you ever, cause I've never. Slo fashion has us sinking under the weight of our own ideas. Slo fashion has me wearing unnecessary zippers all over my body, cause sex looks like armpits and fake nails so all bets are off. All charts are burnt. All logs left to the wolves... Slo fashion births a meeting of universes between my finger tips. Mermaid lips Inches away and miles apart. Cause a delay in pleasure is the same as a moment enraptured. All the waters are rising, all the stars are falling. My hearts swell in between my teeth. Heart wrench opens expensive lines into the wardrobe of my body Welcome

Ariadne works mystery thru heart via psychic headphones

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delayed

Play as you read: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5o642Jvp70 Hello fashionnistxs. Delayed pleasure/Slow Fashion? There's no answer. Fall! 2016. Joy and satisfaction experienced somewhere far from your body, all creation as time-travel where'd you go Here I was. Sometimes there are payoffs from hard work and the daily labor of existing in your form. This season we encourage you to style a slow roll of chills over the spine and trust you're eventually already there. Don't be present!!! Maybe stop doing yoga. Dare to triple-cuff your pants. Linear storylines are on the way OUT so you and I n the 6 billion other you n I's can just hang out here in the vortices heheh where'd you get your shirt? Ajo, AZ still won't pop. The Atlantic ran a hopeful series in 2015 on the town's revitalization efforts, noting that Ajo already has the requisite arts scene and just needs a microbrewery.

Arts projects and microbreweries, as we have learned from our travels around America, are often proxies for a new spirit and a new life come to hard-times towns. Ajo has the first, the arts projects. But would that be enough? "Ajo, Arizona" March 2015

Obviously, MBDB is ahead of the game. We've confirmed the geodes and flares, gila monsters and company-town era buildings, a historic glaze over occupied Tohono O'odham territory. The scent of copper extraction still wafts thru the border crisis, land turns from obvious commodity-production to weapon, ultimately it's all just biz that can and will be reflected in the season's unique home baubles trade. Just to the north is the Barry M. Goldwater bombing range. Militarism is really on it's way in, and we mean chip-implanted in your nailbeds kinda In cuz it's gone down. Ask the techinician at your next microchip mani-pedi to work in the new system of spirit-based fashion. Asstrology's getting older and the new way to classify ourselves outside social hierarchies is geology-based. Are you sedimentary, metamorphic, or igneous? Sedimentary: Born in “March”. Visionaries, they just look better in work boots and sports jerseys. Metamorphic: Would be born in odd-numbered “weeks” of the “year”, were there still a calendar system. Your wrists should carry wooden accoutrements. Igneous: Born during rains, but not storms, Igneous folks do well with loose-fitting slips and bolero hats. The way you love can be powerful. Other speculative fall trends: land-based emotion, not wearing tiny hats, burnt orange/azure\mauve. Alyn “The Process” Mare wears the same shit every day.

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in a reasonable place it would still be spring but we don't do that here: food review by W. A. Rye

"you are what you eat" blagh blagh blagh--i don't want to munch on a fucking salad with a teaspoon of olive oil and old red onions when i could be sticking my face into a trench full of inn n' out burgers animal-style NO BUNZ. so whatever you're eating make sure you wear it viciously--ketchup all over your face is the new high-waisted skinny jean. as winter loop-de-loops into spring in good ol' shit roads we-sweat-sepia tucson, you might find yrself stumbling over a new food trend or someone's thrown away plate of robdog carne asada fries (wut even happened to robdogs?!?). but for those of u that need a little guidance, this is wut i'm eating/drinking for spring: blood oranges: blood oranges are in season in southern arizona, and these sanguine/saccharine globs of citrus are wut i want to be awkwardly eating in class when the bro behind me says, "i don't know anything about lipstick, i'm a man." like an xmas present of crystallized fruit, i whisper, like an xmas present of crystallized fruit, as i lick the pulp of the season's gayest citrus off my sticky fingers. posing under orange trees: always a good look for a classique tucson selfie. i think this is cali-style 2, but i've only been to the mojave, and there sure as hell aren't oranges there (mostly just dust). learn the diff b/t oranges, loquats and kumquats if u rlly wanna impress yr date/mom/that statue of a unicorn u secretly have a crush on. taqueria toppings bars: apparently, taqueria toppings bars aren't salad bars. tell that to my friend who whipped up a cucumber-avocado crema-pico de gallo-pickled carrot salad worthy of martha "spraypaint it gold" stewart. kahlua creme, vodka, dove chocolate, almond milk, and thin mint milkshakes: OK, i think yr gonna have to ask my cousin's bf zach** about this one. but it was rlly good. eegee's pina colada flavor: apparently this is a tucson classic. i tried it and all my teeth fell out. it did have fresh coconut flakes in it tho. latin it up! cubano: this was my first ever cubano, so i have nothing to compare it to. but it sure was a tasty pile of meat and cheese b/t bread. and the nice folks at latin it up! sometimes hand out complimentary, still-warm-from-the-oven food science cookies.*** and it's on fourth ave. but it doesn't smell like that classic fourth ave mixture of dog poop, incense, and overpriced cubanos in tiny chipped cups. in other news: bentley's bagels don't suck (i'm a new yorker); and la indita and pico de gallo are still head-to-head for the title of "best tucson restaurant where dinner for two doesn't cost more than my weekly food budget." *quote adapted from angela carter's "the bloody chamber." ** name has been changed to prevent a thirsty mob from tracking him and his oster reverse crush counterforms blender down and demanding free booze and/or girl scout cookies and/or almond milk (eff off, hippies!). ***food science cookies: chocolate chip cookies that taste like the ones you made in home ec class. they usually come out of a package, were probably engineered in a lab in jersey, and taste so so good. example: nestlé tollhouse. food correspondant/tortured artist W. A. Rye is busy writing poems that compare the taste of paprika to the fear that they're turning into their parents. if ur really into anchovies, they just might make u lunch.

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Do not do this

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seen at the art gala

It is said that the desert is a landscape of extremes where people go to heal from trauma. Truly, white girls wearing linen bonnets to eat huevos rancheros in "the old Pueblo" reflects a kind of vernacular sartorial terrorism, an extremist outlier tactic that you can't argue or even engage with, like trying to think about the Presidential election, or making plans with a Californian. Are we actually dating or just not not dating, or just actually not dating? Is Hillary worse than Trump? Whatever. Tucson's fashion scene is fully contextless. It's your mom at a video art show. It's your dad striking up a conversation with your house guest. It has absolutely never walked down Bedford Ave or Boulevard de la Villette. Of course neither have you. So don't worry. Yet. In the great Z of lesbian gentrification - from the Bay to Brooklyn to LA to New Orleans - Tucson is still a layover for a few nights kind of town, catching only residual and gunky deposits of the chem trail wake of Audi and VW wagons. (I know you think they're all Subarus, but niche marketing has made us dumber and a lot of dykes bought the hype on the fuel efficient diesel engines, which turned out to be a scam, like having kids.) But it can't last. Is this the last summer we have of complete fashion illiteracy? (Present company excluded.) Are the evil Silverlake lesbians coming to build on the empty lot next door and shame us for wearing tank tops with ketchup stains? Are you going to start noticing there's cat hair on your Wranglers? Buy a comb? In the spirit that literally nothing lasts, here are seven Tucson fashion habits to take advantage of this summer, before it's too late, forever: 1. Wear the same light patterned button up shirt and straight leg jeans every day for 8 weeks. Don't show calf until the first monsoon. Change your freaky undies daily. Be celibate, but not because you want to. 2. Wear trail running sneakers to a party and get compliments. 3. Treat men and heterosexuals like they're worthless, or at best pitiable. Work on stepping back so their voices can be heard at the meeting. Again, enjoy this while you can. 4. Never see, walk past, hear of, interact with, or know someone who knows someone who is famous. (Note: no punks are actually famous. Debate.) 5. Don't leave your house for 4 days. It's hot, and apparently you don't have to. 6. Put on jeggings and a crop top and go hang out with your friends in their 70s. 7. All of your friends fucking adore you and think your clothes are just awesome and so you. What you wear, deeply, does not matter. Consider going topless for a week this summer and not leaving your house. In Wranglers and trail running shoes. Of course. >>>>>local genius Chatty G. writes for MBDB and the Spreadsheet Review.

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and now, a momentary break from lesbian separatism (not that it's needed)

the man’s man - is it the plaid, the sullen off-kilter jokes, the untrimmed neck beard or the gentle, suave tuck behind a rugged belt buckle? perhaps its the singing along to shakira (I’m looking at you mr monfuckingtana) when you have had one too many old milwaukees or budweisers, this isn’t irony. it all begs the question: what even is a man’s man? First and last to mind is the late, grate John Wayne’s colon: weighed 70 lbs when he OD’d on steak dinners. but really once you’ve landed in the great southwest, we’re all just gay cowboys. sometimes gay hetero cowboys other times gay rave cowboys sometimes we even hint at being bona fide gay cowboys using dirt and bear fat for sun screen. but in the men’s men sort of way. in the soft butch sort of way. like go ahead and try, show up to us a vegan with your punk patch, leave a cowboy dyke poaching cows outside of arivaca, like just let those muscles ripple as you skin the two ton beast. I don’t care how much neck beard you try to shave, it will grow back somewhere. ANYWAYS you men’s men, you look good. contributed by guest editor lee 'law abiding' smee, who wants to remind people that poaching cows, although cool, is a serious punishable offense.

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title? what?

hahaha omg in what reality would I vote for any of these parasites.

at the last bored meeting of Tucson's premiere fashion blog we discussed covering electoral fashion failures, digressing into "What Doesn't Go With Sour Cream?" Still up for agenda is whether it's chill to write fanfiction about your own blog, or if that definitely means no one likes you. how was your Imbolc?

Let's linger on the winter's trends, though i'm tempted to lean to spring already.

winter 2016 is/was getting on your shit and staying there. we picked through a principled position and fashion arrogance, offered up a mumu to the collective closet of surrender. I want to enforce destroying a calendar system and the word “flow”, but in this case if you're being real it's probably right.

girls are really coming back up, who am I kidding fucking WORSHIP EACH OTHER. you're amazing, and points of connection are endless this is definitely not about gender more a creative process. in the spirit of giving grace something to think about: a late-season pre-club icebreaker, to be performed alone. work it out before or after you fuck someone against the jukebox* or never have sex again (do you!):

describe the feminine in 8 verbs and burn them, to be integrated in conversation and hair accessory. before donning running shoes for the dancefloor/workday, tell yourself your name and identities, hold them on the tongue with an anise star and jump to the hot springs of validation (106degrees). The silt's stirred up but it will settle to a fine sheen, a glitter of honor for a look that says Let's At Least Try. Hold each other.

*1. Stand By Your Man 2. Oui

 may we all be guest editors. alyn mare is a mbdb devotee and may have mice living in their bed.

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this is what we've been thinking about it Bisbee...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy6JBEKQPs0

that n how fucking fun it is to take needle-spine pineapple cactus and deer weed flower essences at the same time.

So, may we all enjoy the chaos of mercury retrograde, as few other astrological events are so detrimental to social media.

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FYIFYIFYIFYIFYI

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***

Decency is out and armadillo-inspired owl jewelry is in! Take a look at what’s HAPPENING THIS FALL SEASON in Southwest Fashion!!1!

WHAT’S IN:

No, no, this isn’t “sweating” this is climate-change sweating. The Answer: Hot Tits that’ll kill you forever dead. Like a Phoenix from the ashes, shoulders, and torso-limbs are making a massive comeback alongside chunky heels, sinking v-necks, and blatant pool-side bonnets just like the old gypsy woman said. Let’s be real here: Just because Twin Peaks is returning after 13 years, doesn’t mean your father is, too.

What do fashion fringe battle garments and African Grey Parrots have in common? Longevity. Wear both. Warrior sandals are all the trash right now, along with Stella-McCartney-inspired, bohemian lace-ups. Go fuck your Go Fund Me and go silkscreen the growling visage of Grace Jones across thrashed, black shirts, that’s what’s want. Bucket pants are huge and larger this season. Be the gorgeous. We can finally wear denim again so don your fashion pull-ups and rake patriarchs over our death charms doubling as cute earrings.

WHAT’S OUT:

Your fucking sriracha waterbottle that’s what.

On the streets of the Old Southwest, I’m always thinking about Ancient peoples and, like, how they must have wondered how to make elbows look cute?

Beanies, turtlenecks, and wearable Apple tech devices are currently trending in the OC so really murder yourself if you’re in one. Wear at your own “a-peril”. Let’s feud, bitch.

Coachella eye-glitter was abandoned so fast, so abruptly, so mysteriously this summer it’s being called this generation’s Roanoke Island/MySpace in the halls of FASHION BLOG HEADQUARTERS. And this year’s Jordache Mom jeans is basically 2015’s Hiroshima. Millions of bodies devastated it’s like I don’t even “know” who you are anymore.

Do you still believe in the power of the perfect cute tote? Wow ok throw yourself on to a pile of garbage then. Lady’s fashion sliders and chic butchy billfolds are the only acceptable reaction. In any situation. Chuck your mother’s body-bag potato-sack purse (what you got in there? Fucking Lunchables?) and start donning this year’s fuck-it minimal billclips cause you ain’t got shit anyway to put in a goddamn bag. Having a Johnny Depp-like existential crisis? Who am I? Is this my hand? What?

BITCHGLAM this year has taken a turn for silvery jewelry and torn Scandinavian vintage. The idea is to look like you’d immolate anyone who wants an iPhone 6S case.

Replenish those luscious, kiss-and-tell lips of yours this Fall with what else but couples! Poppin’ mollys? Another Tuesday in the can. Lips so raw look in the mirror say “Damn! Givin’ all that head at Shakey’s Pizza is my favorite color.”

This Fall’s motto: Integrity is the mowing lawns of last year’s summer vacations because trying to see the good in everyone is so boring.

Brecht Welch is a Guest Fashion Editor and your dream cum true.

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and

shut the fuck up Columbus day is definitely not trending

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amiable notes

if you are a goth in the desert, have a great summer and don't ever change- seriously, you are doing such a good job there is nothing to tell you.

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fall fashion

shoutout to secrets shoutout to memory and not being able to work shit out (Ten Signs You Are Holding Onto Traumatic Histories!) shoutout to hating weed culture and Being Really In Your Body shoutout to ignoring everyone at ecstatic dance and going to Congress alone on a Monday because the nastiest beat gets me on my inner holy. shoutout to Holding Space and all the milky way dripping through your knuckles, every moon and inner planet. let this fall be about seeing who's on the orbit with you and trying to arrange some matching outfits. really feeling elbow patches n huge shoes, back pockets and fashion crowns.