magiclilybean

[magiclilybean]

Loved one got top surgery yesterday so I made this for him but I think y’all would appreciate it too

[magiclilybean]

(The trilobites might have actually been well before I was in college, but I hadn't heard of it yet at that time, and I just think it's really cool. It's also the sort of thing a stubborn young person such as myself might have tried in one context or another, with who knows what level of success.)

[magiclilybean]

I would have been the coelacanth girl, but instead of marine biology it would have been about expanding the supposed limits of paleontology.

There's a time and a place to reinforce the limitations of science, to be sure, but in my beloved special interest field I had some skepticism, and I was right. We've since *found* preserved soft tissue. We've learned to chemically analyze some of those fossils to learn the colors of some animals. We've shaved down the innards of crushed trilobite fossils and reconstructed what's inside.

I should have been there for some of that. But you know how it is - I was a former gifted child, not a student with a genuine disability who needed support to complete her education. So today I'm a government employee after many years of wildly varied jobs. But hey, it's a living, and it's had many blessings along the way - just not paleontological ones.

[magiclilybean]

Yes, they are gentle, and not particularly speedy. If you get to a big, open space with them, they blink in a pattern as they fly slowly along, and you can get a little ahead of them and kind of scoop them out of the air with your hands without hurting them.

They will land in there, and then you can open up your hands and sometimes they'll crawl around awhile blinking before they fly off like this little guy.

They're great.

[magiclilybean]

Advertising my minecraft Modpack:

It doesn't have any extra dimensions <3

It adds a fuck ton of birds

Terrain Generation is overhauled without using any of the big terrain mods like Terralith or Oh the Biomes you'll go

Has a lot of crops to farm

There's a completionist book

It has garlic AND Lemons AND Corn

You can make several types of cheese

It has a grappling hook and a hang glider

[magiclilybean]

Advertising my minecraft Modpack:

It doesn't have any extra dimensions <3

It adds a fuck ton of birds

Terrain Generation is overhauled without using any of the big terrain mods like Terralith or Oh the Biomes you'll go

Has a lot of crops to farm

There's a completionist book

It has garlic AND Lemons AND Corn

You can make several types of cheese

It has a grappling hook and a hang glider

[magiclilybean]

Beginning to have nightmares about mushroom fundies and their human converts....

mushroom chat just dropped

[magiclilybean]

mushroom chat just dropped

[magiclilybean]

I'm so confused by Sarah Maas's worldbuilding. In the first book, we meet a young woman out hunting with a bow and arrow. Because that's the level of technology available.

In the second book, we open on the same woman, barfing into a flush toilet. No explanation.

I just - and like - sure, I get that the fae might have different tech and magic and modes of dress and all. It's just, that scene could have had her barf into **anything**, and immediately the old-timey fae vibes are off because I'm just thinking about the last time I prayed to the porcelain god, myself.

I mean I kept going and I'm reading the book and so forth. It's just it's been a full day and it's still nagging at me. It could have been a chamber pot. She could have run outside to the lawn. She could have found a bucket. It could have been set up in the story line or the vibe at some point some where some how in some way any way whatsoever in the last book in this book just fucking ANYWHERE I guess just WHAT

[magiclilybean]

I keep having extremely obvious epiphanies about how awful my old boss was.

"I was underpaid in my previous purchasing role." Yes, good. True. Correct.

"My boss made me do things that were well beyond the standard role of purchasing/procurement." An accurate, if belated, realization. Well done.

"WAIT. If I was underpaid for procurement then I was REALLY underpaid for whatever horrible hybrid helljob Gary concocted and shoved me into." No shit, dumbass.

[magiclilybean]

Oh yeah, and when you goop is fairly unpredictable. Most people are goopening between 14-17, but IDK, I'd say I had a pretty hard time from ooooh, 12-26 or so. Neurodivergence = extra shit to figure out.

Then there's the divorce goopening at 32-35...

Academic troubles goopening at 39.... then slowly descending into chronic illness until the climax of incredibly poor health and goopening at 47, markedly easing up now at almost 49.

So you can be in the goop for a lot of reasons, at a lot of different times.

thank fucking god I'm not 14 anymore

[magiclilybean]

Oh, isn't that the way? One diagnosis gets figure out and everyone congratulates themselves for solving it instead of making sure they're done.

I knew I had ADHD, but I felt so much better after treating my anxiety disorder in my 20's that I presumed my ADHD wasn't really a problem. After all, nobody in my schools ever seemed to think I needed help, right?

I will also say this, though - try not to let the bad experiences sour you on "clever tips" altogether. Approached a little differently, and not allowing judgment towards yourself if it doesn't work, they can make a huge difference.... just not to the degree neurotypicals tend to think.

Some of them will never work for you. No one knows why, but it's not something wrong with you, and you should drop them immediately. You just have ADHD and this is what it's like.

Some of them will work for a while, and then stop. Then you should drop it immediately. No one knows why. It's not that there's something wrong with you, you just have ADHD and this is what it's like.

Sometimes you'll get lucky and something will form into a really long term habit. That's the best. No one knows why. You remember the rest.

Because of the way they sometimes fizzle out, to keep up with it, I'm personally constantly looking, or trying to think new things up. I used to think this was a sign of my inconsistency and wonder why I could never stick with anything. Now I know that there's not something wrong with me, etc. etc.

The real problem is the way people around us fail to understand that there is no level of importance or urgency that will ever, ever save us from forgetting or losing things. No amount of embarrassment, humiliation, or other dire consequence will ever keep us on the straight and narrow, because we literally aren't capable, you know, because it's a disability.

Hell, sometimes it's hard for me to remember it, myself.

IDK, I just keep trying to build on with one more thing and another more thing, often in the form of "tips and tricks," and it does improve quality of life a little bit at a time.

I hope you have more appropriate and better support now that you have a clearer idea of what you're working with.

When I was a kid I kept failing classes because I'd lose my homework. I'd finish it, but between the dining room table and the classroom it would just walk away. Sometimes it ended up in my backpack, sometimes it didn't; sometimes I finished the homework at school and it got home in my backpack but wasn't there the next day.

To attempt to address this, my parents got me a neon orange folder to put in my backpack; it was my homework folder, all homework was to go into that folder and that folder only, and it was to only come out of that folder when it was being worked on. I was to put homework in the homework folder as soon as it was assigned and if I'd worked on it, put it back in the folder as soon as it was finished. The logic here was that using the folder was supposed to be automatic, and you wanted a bright color so it wouldn't get lost in the depths of a backpack.

I think I lost about eight of those before my parents stopped buying orange folders.

So it was very frustrating to search "how to be organized at work as an adult with ADHD" only to get a list that said "set alarms and write things down and try to make friends with a more organized person" which was immediately followed by tips to help your ADHD child stay organized and the one right at the top was to put their homework in a bright folder so they couldn't lose it.

If you have been harmed by the ADHD Tips Industrial Complex you may be entitled to a packet of fun-dip and a cactus cooler as consolation for losing your homework folder again.

[magiclilybean]

And wait, shit! How could I forget?!? It doesn't even have to be a man!

For real, fuck this guy.

"I broke all my vows but one for you, my lady,” he said softly. “Let us say it is you yourself who have shattered this last.”

This thing is breaking my brain. This man is insane, right? He left his order. He's left her unprotected literally dozens of times. He's had sex with her twice. What in the actual fuck is supposedly left?

Is it just that he's a whiny titty baby and he literally blames her for "making" him have sex with her? Because my man can go pound sand if that's it. I don't give a shit how beautiful he is or how well he slings knives around, there's better men out there and this woman is like 23. She has a fucking LIFETIME to go find one. She just needs to scrape this man off like toilet paper off of her shoe.

[magiclilybean]

LOL meant to post this over here

"I broke all my vows but one for you, my lady,” he said softly. “Let us say it is you yourself who have shattered this last.”

This thing is breaking my brain. This man is insane, right? He left his order. He's left her unprotected literally dozens of times. He's had sex with her twice. What in the actual fuck is supposedly left?

Is it just that he's a whiny titty baby and he literally blames her for "making" him have sex with her? Because my man can go pound sand if that's it. I don't give a shit how beautiful he is or how well he slings knives around, there's better men out there and this woman is like 23. She has a fucking LIFETIME to go find one. She just needs to scrape this man off like toilet paper off of her shoe.

[magiclilybean]

This brings to mind something that happened recently. Because I think people need to feel this deep down, on a level that's instinctual.

Someone from work had met my youngest son and had a bit of an off-kilter interaction with him. I was explaining it to my coworker the next day because it was actually a really funny joke that I thought he'd appreciate, but my son didn't care if he stuck the landing as long as he entertained himself. So it hadn't come across.

By way of short-handing an explanation, I explained that though he isn't diagnosed on paper, my son presents as autistic. My coworker responded, "oh, no, well, I didn't take him that way," and it took me a long time to figure out why that bothered me.

He thinks autistic is an insult.

We need people to have a welcoming reaction, just as instinctual, just as fast.

Now me, if I think someone is autistic, it's usually because we seem on a similar wavelength and have some things in common, but you don't seem ADHD. Is that a compliment? IDK, but I personally probably like you. And I suppose that's not nothing.

ngl I thought the puzzle piece as an autistic symbol meant like. I am a vital puzzle piece to your society. humans would never have invented half the things they did without us. you're telling me it means I'm missing something?? buddy. listen. listen to me reeeeaal closely. no human has all the pieces to humanity. no one. no one has all the features enables no one has all the strengths weaknesses or quirks. no one has a whole puzzle. we make the freaking complete picture together. that's the freaking point.

[magiclilybean]

I love this man.

Video captions: And stop trying to show your ex what they missed out on! Stop trying to teach your family a lesson for not believing in you! Stop trying to shit on your haters! Do it for you! Do it because you deserve it! Do it for YOU! Water your dreams with love! Don’t put no hate and resentment, and try to — “oh Imma fucking show them, Imma show” — FUCK THEM! Fuck them, do it for you! They don’t matter! They NEVER mattered.

[magiclilybean]

"She took my wings!"

Cool. Cool cool cool. I suppose I didn't *need* to ever sleep again in my life, ever.