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Come back with a warrant

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Terrible Character Ideas:

A monk based on a European Christian archetype. They have sworn a sacred oath to defeat the giant snail plaguing the countryside.

A dragonborn desperately trying to convince the party that they’re really an aarakocra with a skin condition that made their feathers fall out.

Your standard horny bard, but they play a washboard. 

A sentient hat piloting a mannequin.

A dark elf who’s afraid of the dark, and terrified of spiders.

A peasant farmer who joined the adventure because they’re going through a midlife crisis and want to ~find themself.~

A druid who got involved because they’re the party’s weed dealer.

A werewolf who doesn’t believe in the moon.

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concept

a beaded curtain, but instead of beads they’re worms on strings

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SO PURE!

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apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

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breaking bad, fight club, rick and morty, clockwork orange, and the catcher in the rye are all arguably good things - but if a man says they are his FAVORITE book/movie/tv show? RUN.

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reblog if you dont have a bra on

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okay but also can we talk about the episode where natasha was a vampire

and she 

ran into a mirror

because she couldn’t see her own reflection and just

knocked herself out

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this guy created mcafee antivirus and then went completely off the rails. like absolute chaos. he got super rich, moved to Belize, was suspected of murdering his neighbor, fled Belize, had his location accidentally leaked by a Vice journalist who was with him lmfao, was apprehended in Guatemala, faked not one but two heart attacks while in custody to buy time for his lawyer, was deported back to the US, and then ran for president as a libertarian

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Dec 4: Remember that time we learned Clark Kent totally peeked at all his Christmas presents with his X-Ray vision? (Justice League, “Comfort and Joy”)

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