magnusaethereus - Tumblr blog

[magnusaethereus]

I just can't stop licking buildings I walk past, do you have any tips for technique?

P.s. See you tonight xoxo

all in the surface area, the more saliava to brick ratio the better, hope this helps

[magnusaethereus]

Best Balls- a haiku

Two balls in a pod

Separated by the schlong

Forbidden Lovers

[magnusaethereus]

everyday i shall nourish my mouth rock garden.

No one respects teeth for their full value. Treat them as digits, not as tools. Until every child dreams to be a tooth fairy, if you're not on my side you're against me. Expect me to be coming for your mouth, I'll be in every shadow, every dentist's surgery, probing them in the night. I'll take them all to be adopted by more caring owners. If you don't want to wake up one morning with no mouth rocks, relegated to eternal shame and liquid foods you'd better preach the holy word.

Justice for teeth

[magnusaethereus]

life goal: find a stranger and somehow work in the action of flexing and kissing my biceps while constantly referencing “the gun show” i just think it would be a bit tomfoolerous and i find that appealing.

thank you for reading

[magnusaethereus]

i think a good superpower would be the ability to instantly clear out anyones sinuses, with no consequences. you’d be very popular with your friends and family and to everyone else it could be a sneaky money making scheme. imagine you sell a remedy (placebo) that clears out peoples sinuses and at a point after you’ve made the sale of the “medication” you use the power, people will swear by it as the most effective treatment. you could also have a side hustle where you pretend to be magic and like get people to pay you for that then bring in some fancy card tricks to really sell it.

just a thought.

[magnusaethereus]

The Testicle Spectacle

I wish testicles were easier to juggle,

then fondling would not be a struggle,

it would bring more excitement to a snuggle,

come play with my balls on the double!

[magnusaethereus]

"life is like a penis. straight up jorking it."