magpiecrime

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never too late

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Finally finished this piece after months of reworking. Far from perfect, but I’m glad it’s done. Inspired by the amazing Bruno Redondo, Dan Mora, and especially Dexter Soy.

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ATLA AU book one: water (6/?)

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"They go to SEX CLUBS and pretend to be DOGS!"

Yeah well you go to church every Sunday and pretend to be a good person

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Nobody loves denji like pochita loves denji

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Schlocktober: A Fake Event Where Anything Goes

While other people are out here dropping Kinktober prompt lists with 9000 stipulations, I bring you this.

It's not a real October event, but it could be if you believe. The prompts are here for anyone to enjoy anyway.

Why "schlock"?

It means trash/junk, and that's the quality of content I'm striving for with these prompts. It's also fun to say.

But, y'know, if you want to take a prompt and turn it into a masterpiece of a whumpy longfic, go for it.

What fandom is this for?

Whatever fandom you want.

What ships can I write/draw?

Any of them.

Even [my fandom's most despised ship]?

Especially [your fandom's most despised ship].

What if I want to combine prompts? What if I want to write or draw things out of order? What if...

Go for it.

Are crossovers okay?

Do. Whatever. You. Want.

What if I want to create something problematic?

Send me the fucking link.

What does [prompt] mean?

You tell me. It's all open to interpretation.

Are there any rules at all?

Sure.

No AI use. If you need an LLM to write your schlock for you, consider a long walk off a short pier. If you need it to do your editing for you, use a beta reader instead. A stick figure drawn on the back of a napkin is better than soulless AI art.

Tag appropriately. 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' means anything goes. 'No Archive Warnings Apply' means your work is guaranteed not to contain any of the major archive warnings (non-con, major character death, graphic violence, or underage sex).

No irl bigotry. Your characters can be problematic as all get out, but if you try to post a weird pro-JK Rowling essay or something you're not going in the collection, bud. Don't kill the vibes.

What are the vibes?

Just have fun.

But other people are having fun wrong!

Shut the fuck up.

Are you going to be doing this?

Probably not.

How do I participate?

There's an ao3 collection right here:

Schlocktober on ao3

Otherwise, just hashtag #schlocktober or something, idk. I don't expect anyone to actually do this.

Text version of the prompts under the cut.

Day 1:

Quadruple Fisting

Inappropriate Use of Labubus

Sex-Related Injury

Day 2:

Quesadilla Cocksleeve

Taking Notes During Sex and Grading It

MyPillow Humping

Day 3:

Erotically Burning Hair

Nostril Worship

Fuck or Live

Day 4:

Gap Tooth Kink

Pegging with a Square Peg

Peeling Sunburn

Day 5:

Not Squirting, Not Pee, but a Secret Third Thing

Nipple Sounding

Enemas to Lovers

Day 6:

Defiling a Puritan

Room Temperature Play

Edging on an Edge

Day 7:

Bidets

Too Many Legs

Shallow Throating

Day 8:

Lingerie Made of Crabs

Not Water Sports, but Water Leisure

Masturbation Pollen

Day 9:

Nonconsensual Consent (NCC)

Afterneglect

Last Time

Day 10:

Human Centipeding

Ball Slapping

Fuck or Die Trying

Day 11:

Sex on Meth

Plucking Hair by Hand

Harem on Strike

Day 12:

Second-Hand Creampie

Haggled Use

Age Progression

Day 13:

Cactus Insertion

Antibreeding Kink

Mechanical Bull

Day 14:

Banned on TikTok

Predator/Predator

Prey/Prey

Day 15:

Scissoring with Scissors

Butterplay

Cannon (Artillery) Compliant

Day 16:

Dueling Gloryholes

Inedible Cum

Purple Nurple

Day 17:

Pimple Popping

Lap Riverdance

Pain Without Pleasure

Day 18:

Nonconsensual Soloplay

Weakness Kink

Genital Swap (Not Whole Body)

Day 19:

Chip Clip Nipple Clamps

Spatchcocking

Wound Fucking

Day 20:

Boot Blasphemy

Understimulation

Gamma/Delta/Sigma (G/D/S)

Day 21:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Torture)

CBT (Cock and Ball Therapy)

Asparagus

Day 22:

Autocannibalism

Actual Jackhammering

Extrasensory Deprivation

Day 23:

Going in Dry

Aroused by the Smell of Rubber Cement

Sterilization Ritual

Day 24:

Genitals Stuck in Zipper

Ennui Kink

Earwax Wax Play

Day 25:

Actual Handcuffs (They're Under Arrest)

96ing

Sex as a Sedative

Day 26:

Hospice Roleplay

Gas Station Sex Pills

Balls So Blue They're Practically Purple

Day 27:

Extreme Temperature Cockwarming

Promiscuity Cage

Salt Daddy

Day 28:

Sex with Crocs

Anal Toeing

Breaking a Sex Contract

Day 29:

Coming in Someone Else's Pants

Clowns

Cloning Gone Wrong

Day 30:

Lube As Spit

Pet Work

Clear Showers (Character Is Adequately Hydrated)

Day 31:

Pumpkin Seed Snowballing

Candy Apple Coating

Ghost of a Sex Offender

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welcome to the Murdersex zine, a zine celebrating all things sex and murder. but um. we don't want to romanticize it or anything so don't make your submissions too murdersexy. we will do extensive background checks on all applicants and if we decide a past work of yours has too much sexy murder we'll have to remove you, sorry. we have limits, you know, we want a tasteful gory spread you could put on your coffee table, and having the Wrong people in it would kill the vibe (and we condemn all killing! wholeheartedly!)

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@jason-todd-week

Day 4: "No one's coming"

Arkham Knight voice lines continue to wreck me emotionally

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It’s probably just a coincidence but one thing I enjoy/find fascinating about post ressurection pre-flashpoint Jason is his complete and utter lack of healthy relationships with men. The only people he gets along with are like 3 women, Donna, who tolerates him, Talia, and Scarlet

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Funniest part about Robin Jason canonically going to heaven is that it implies either 1) Jason didn’t kill Felipe and Bruce completely blew up their relationship for no reason or 2) you’re allowed in heaven after killing someone as long as that someone really deserved it, which would then imply that heaven itself is on Jason’s side in the Jason vs Bruce conflict.

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You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

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watching trigun for the plot

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Nest of Pikachu by Diane Özdamar

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sometimes i say things on twitter and then make a little graph about it

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Being kink positive makes it really hard to be a hater of media rip. I used to love watching “the WORST book I’ve read this year” booktube videos but now its like I hear them ask, “Who is this werewolf smut even for?” Omegaverse fans, next question. “Why would you write this?” Because they find it sexy, can we stop focusing on the ewie yucky kink part and focus on the fact that the author used the word knot five times in a single scene? It’s bad werewolf erotica, but it’s not bad because it’s werewolf erotica like come on