maidscientistfindababy

[maidscientistfindababy]

During his second trip to the store, several older imps and imps with small children stopped Baxter and made his head spin with conflicting information. Everything from which bottle to purchase, to whether or not pacifiers were rubbish or essential. By the time he made it to the checkout lane, his basket was so full he would doubt he would be able to make it home with the imp if not for the weird baby holder a younger mother insisted he buy.

He had never felt so overwhelmed in his life as he walked out the door, a bag in each hand and the baby strapped to his chest. When his eyes fell on the newspaper's advice column by the door, he figured checking out the website and putting out an ad couldn't hurt.

He made his submission just in time to catch the online edition for the day.

[maidscientistfindababy]

Baxter: Niffty!

He ran from the office with the baby in his arms, following his girlfriend's screams. He saw Niffty tossing all the cushions off the couches and as she was seemingly about to flip the couch over she finally looked up and saw him.

Niffty: How could you! Baxter, you are being a rude man! Not a bad boy!

Niffty looked pissed, Baxter had seen her this mad before but never directed at him.

Baxter: What did I do?

Niffty: You took her from me! I thought I lost her!

Niffty reached out and took the baby back from Baxter. Settling down once the imp was in her arms once more.

Niffty: You should have woke me up when you got back.

Baxter: She's fine, I just forgot to get a bottle so we were going to head back to the store.

Niffty rocked the inconsolable baby in her arms.

Baxter: Here, I am gonna take her with me so you can clean. Niffty she's okay.

Niffty gave the baby a kiss on the cheek and handed her back to Baxter.

Niffty: This hotel is a mess. I do need to clean.

She started putting everything back how it was before her rampage as Baxter walked towards the door. He understood now that there were in fact exceptions to the don't wake Niffty rule, but he was concerned about how quickly Niffty was getting attached to the baby. They had only known her for a few hours.

But as he looked down at the baby in his arms he could feel he was getting a little too invested as well.

[maidscientistfindababy]

Baxter attempted to shush the crying infant but it was pointless.

Baxter: Its okay!! We are gonna be fine!!

He slipped a couple diapers and the packet wipes into the pocket of his coat, grabbed one of the onesies, and took off to his lab with the fussing baby in his arms.

Baxter: Listen Imp, we do not wake sleeping Niffty's. That's not a good thing to do.

Baxter lays the baby down and changes her out of the makeshift diaper for a real one. Unfortunately, even the newborn size seemed a little too big when he held it up to the baby.

Baxter: Perhaps this is why you were left here. A maldeveloped child could be seen as a financial burden.

The baby grabbed onto his thumb with the entirety of her little hand as her wails filled his ears. It should have sounded irritating but something about her tugged at his heart.

Baxter moved the still fussing child over to the scale he typically used for weighing organs and larger experiments. The baby did not weigh much, but without knowing how much imps usually weigh at this age he wasn't sure if it was actually that little. He scribbled down his observations anyway.

He quickly finished diapering and dressing the baby. He was almost ready to return to the store with the still fussing imp until he heard Niffty scream from the living room.

[maidscientistfindababy]

Baxter made it back to the hotel and went to check out the popcorn bucket that was now missing. He knew it was a possibility that he could miss the opportunity to investigate it further but getting everything so he could for the little guest was more important at the moment. He walked in the door and heard silence.

Baxter: Niffty? Niffty, I have returned!

He walked over to the living room while continuing to call her name. He saw her in the same chair she was in when he left. He laid everything out on the couch across from her with his back facing her.

Baxter: I got everything we need. I will go over the instructions on everything now so that when the imp requests them we will know.

Baxter: Niffty?

He turned around and saw Niffty and the baby lying in the chair. Both them breathing soundly. More peaceful than anything that he could ever imagine in Hell. He could watch them forever.

But with the smallest sneeze the little imp woke herself up and her lip began quivering.

Baxter swooped her up, careful to let Niffty finish her nap, and began shushing the baby while continuing to read the instructions on how many scoops of powder make how many ounces of milk.

It was at this moment he remembered he had forgotten to buy bottles.

[maidscientistfindababy]

Baxter pulled the grocery store basket over to the baby aisle and searched. He managed to find everything well enough but the many options were overwhelming. He knew he didn't have time to stop and analyze each and every brand of formula.

Luckily an imp with a triple infant stroller walked into the aisle grabbed all the purple cans on the shelf and threw them under her stroller in the basket.

That must be the good brand.

And luckily in her haste, she dropped a can as she shoved the box of the same brand of diapers in her basket as well. Baxter tossed the purple can in the basket and went over to find diapers. He was pretty sure the baby was newborn so he grabbed the smallest box of those and an individual pack of baby wipes.

He lucked out and found a pack of plain white onesies. Now was the worst part of every trip to the store.

He placed his items on the conveyer and the cashier began talking.

Cashier: Find everything you were looking for today!

Baxter: Yes.

Cashier: Oh.

The cashier goes quiet as he scans the items. Every time Baxter goes to the store this happens. The customer service voice always drops once they start scanning his items. He's not even buying anything science-related this time. He just wants to shop for the baby without judgment.

Cashier: So, you new in Hell?

Baxter: No.

Cashier: So, uh, you are a sinner.

Baxter: And? So are you.

Cashier: You buying this stuff for a baby?

Baxter: Obviously?

The cashier's face turned red as he read out the total. Baxter swiped his debit card and as soon as he had his bag and receipt he started walking back to the hotel wondering what that guy's problem was.

[maidscientistfindababy]

Baxter sat on the floor of the living room with the now clean baby imp in his arms. He had created a makeshift diaper out of some dishtowels and some big binder clips he had. He knew it wouldn't last long but he was waiting for Niffty to get out of the shower so he could have her take a turn with the baby while he went out to track down supplies.

But for now, he needed to entertain the baby.

Baxter: So, you are a baby. I was a baby once.

Baby Imp: *Stares*

Baxter: I swear Niffty is much more baby friendly than me. She had a puppet show for the swine and goat a few days ago. You will be fine until we figure out what to do with you.

Baby Imp: *yawns*

Baxter: There is a very strong probability you have zero clue what I am actually saying and the only thing you are actually listening to is the volume of my voice. Similar to early artificial intelligence models. Except you are not a computer program but instead a baby demon.

Baby Imp: *closes eyes*

Baxter: I... should be more used to people falling asleep while I explain science to them but it still stings.

Niffty's laughter could be heard from the doorway where she stood watching them. Baxter looked over to see that crazed smile he loved.

Baxter: If we are going to take care of the little guest until the proper hotel help arrives we are going to need supplies and equipment. I think it best if you and the Imp stay here while I acquire them.

Niffty nodded her head as she walked over and gracefully took the sleeping demon from his arms and sat down on the recliner with her.

Niffty: Be quick. The hotel is so messy. I need to clean soon.

Baxter moved quickly out the door, accidentally tripping over something at the top of the steps. From his landing spot, he realized that it was the popcorn bucket Niffty had found the baby in. Not having time to stop and observe he decided to investigate after he returned home from the store.

[maidscientistfindababy]

Niffty felt the bottom of the blanket and part of her dress near the leak turn wet. Baxter looked like he was going to vomit from the smell.

Niffty: I think it peed on me.

Baxter: I don't think it stopped there m'lady. We got to change it I think? It must have overfilled its diaper if it's leaking like that.

Niffty: Change it? Change it into what? We have nothing. No baby stuff.

Baxter carefully took the buddle out of Niffty's arms. He walked over to a clear spot on the ground and laid the bundle on the ground and finally freed the small, now fully fussing, imp from the buttery confinement.

Baxter: Well, Niffty.

Niffty: What?

Baxter: It's a girl. And whoever left her here is not going to return for her. Even if they attempted I would prevent it.

Baxter ran over to his desk and began searching.

Niffty: Why? What's wrong with it.

Baxter walked back over to the baby with a box of tissues and his trash can as Niffty nervously looked between Baxter and the crying baby.

Baxter: Nothing that I have observed yet. It's just clear whoever left here here was massively underprepared. I mean we are too but surely the parents had more time to prepare than us. She is wearing a shirt that almost fits you or me. Besides that, this blanket is clearly cut from some form of curtain or tablecloth. And it reeks of butter for some reason.

Baxter began trying to wipe away all the mess that had now traveled up the baby's back.

Niffty: She was in a popcorn bucket.

Baxter looked up at Niffty. She looked calmer than he was used to seeing his crazy-eyed gal. Almost sad but she still held that smile that was always present on her face. Baxter had caught on to her devotion to Alastor's belief that a person was never fully dressed without a smile. He knew this one wasn't real.

Niffty: I think she needs a bath.

Baxter: I think you are right. I will take her down to the kitchen and clean her. You should go change out of your soiled clothes as well Darling.

Baxter lifted the mostly wiped-off baby into his arms knowing that he was going to have to get changed after as well. As he walked out of the room he failed to see Niffty clean up the mess behind him before leaving to go change and shower.

[maidscientistfindababy]

The greasy butter was messy and all over Niffty's hands. Her dress was also a mess. Niffty hardly minded as she walked back into the room where Baxter had begun sorting the insects into separate terrariums by species and life stage.

Niffty: Baxter it was an imp.

Baxter: What? They are hellborn. They are not even a part of Charlie's absurd redemption experiment. What did they want?

Niffty: I don't know. It didn't say anything. It's just sleeping.

Baxter had finished sorting and finally looked up and saw Niffty holding the bundled blankets in her arms.

Baxter: Niffty, what do you have there?

Niffty, moved the blanket further out of the sleepy imp's face. Baxter looked down at the baby as it started to stir in the sinners arms.

Niffty: It's the imp.

Baxter: Why did you bring it inside? Surely you could have told its family to keep it!

Niffty: It was alone.

The baby started fussing and Niffty started absent-mindedly rocking it.

Baxter: Charlie did say to make sure any new guests were taken care of. I suppose.

The baby settled right back to sleep in Niffty's arms. Baxter reached over and ran his thumb over where the baby's horns would surely begin growing soon. He felt a weird form of peace.

Until a horrible smell filled the room.

[maidscientistfindababy]

With everyone else out of the hotel and off at Lu Lu World, Niffty and Baxter were at the hotel alone because they did not meet the height restrictions. The two of them decided that since they were going to be alone at the hotel for a weekend together they would spend the whole two days with each other on a date! They were collecting bugs and roaches around the hotel to experiment on when suddenly there was a knock at the door.

Niffty: Guests!

Baxter: Ah Niffty, would you mind getting the door and I will hold your insects for you m'lady.

Niffty: Don't let them escape! They are bad bugs!

She hands him her bucket of roaches and gives him a quick peck on the cheek before putting on her most professional smile as Alastor had taught her. She jumped up to the handle and the door swung open. Her eyes looked up and saw no one.

A small sneeze redirected Niffty's eyes down to the movie theater popcorn bucket with the small blanket inside. She reached into the bucket, moving the blanket to uncover the source of the sound.

There it was, facing up at Niffty's deranged smile, a sleeping baby imp. Niffty knew Alastor would be disappointed by how quickly her face turned to a frown. How could anyone leave a baby outside alone in the pride ring of all places? Niffty scooped up the imp and the butter-flavored blanket and went to find Baxter.