majflodder

[majflodder]

(Varric voice) yeah I engineered a perfect meet cute for me and this guy and then proceeded to follow them around for 7 years like a small yapping puppy dog, embellishing their stories and getting them out of trouble. Yeah yeah when someone else in their group did a bad thing I did mind wheeling cartwheels in order to make sure I could absolve them of any sins and when it seemed like other people weren't doing the same I decided to write a book about the whole thing so that I could control the narrative. and in the book I wrote full on sex scenes and described how handsome they were and how literally nobody could resist them regardless of if they loved or hated them. And then I got kidnapped by the fantasy pope's secret police and lied to protect them and got myself kidnapped to protect them and couldn't even let myself get close to anyone ever again because of how fucked up I was about what happened with my best friend. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gay tho this is normal behaviour

[majflodder]

having non toxic friends is craaazy wdym she apologized for accidentally coming off as rude and condescending. wdym she doesn’t ignore me completely. this isawrsome sauc

[majflodder]

Ich nehme an das, dass auch für jede andere Art der Öffis gilt

[majflodder]

A gap in my resume? Oh that was when I was trapped in a transylvanian castle with some weird old guy, dont worry about it.

[majflodder]

I LOVE being autistic and trying to communicate because every time it’s

[majflodder]

[majflodder]

call me a dirty leftist aber ich denke wir sollten 9 euro ticket wiederbringen

[majflodder]

let's tussle with mama

[majflodder]

[majflodder]

grizzled mercenaries are always being like "I'm sick and tired of being a pawn in someone elses game" like their job isn't literally rent-a-pawn

[majflodder]

i must take painkillers. painkillers are the pain killer

[majflodder]

saw this picture and thought of him <3

[majflodder]

about to hit “it” and by it i mean. hahgc. the haey

[majflodder]

Gosh I wish motorcycles weren’t death machines they look so fun

[majflodder]

Swimming with Mama

[majflodder]

I wanna [remembers that suicide jokes only further damage my mental health] die with you wendy on the street tonight in an everlasting kiss

[majflodder]

Let's catch the bus with mama